HOME | DD

Description
i don't want to think about her.

i met her on a street corner.  she was smoking a blunt like it was perfectly normal, nothing to worry about.  i was walking by, crunching in the falling snow, when i smelled the weed and stopped and saw her.  she was wearing a short skirt and fishnets and boots and a shirt you could see through to her bra.  she had no sweater, though it was well below freezing.  but she didn't appear to be shivering.  maybe she was just tripping, i didn't know, but she sparked my curiosity, in any case.  i went over to her and tapped her on the shoulder.  she turned to me and i saw her eyes for the first time and it felt like all the air had been sucked from the world.  her eyes were soulless, but not in a way that made her satanic.  in a way where you wondered what had happened to destroy such a young life.

but anyway, she turned to me, and i lost my breath, and she waited a few moments before saying, "what?  unless you're gonna pay for my time, don't bother me."  she was about to turn away again when my throat got unstuck.

"wait."

"what?  kinda busy here."

i teetered for a moment on walking away, not embarrassing myself.  but i couldn't.  "aren't you cold?" i blurted, face reddening, unable to bite my tongue.

she gave me a look as icy as the air and turned away, went on smoking.

the next day, i took the same route in hope of finding her.  sure enough, there she was, same corner, except this time she was wearing shorts and smoking a cigarette.  she saw me walking toward her, scoffed, and turned away.  i reached into my jacket pocket, pulled out a twenty, and tapped her on the shoulder again.

she turned, ready to scoff again, but she saw the money and smiled instead.  she took it and looped her arm in mine, laughing suddenly, taking one last draw on her cigarette and stamping it out in the grayish snow.

"what can i do for you?  though i gotta warn you, some things are more expensive than a twenty."

i considered.  her arm felt strange, but in a good way.  she was somehow still warm, though she was again without a coat.

"let me take you out to dinner," i said.

she gave me a weird look, then smiled.  "sure," she said.  "i'd be down."

we went to some café and she ordered a chicken noodle soup while still smiling broadly.  i don't even remember what i ordered.  it almost made me sad, the abrupt change in her.  she would do anything for money.

all throughout dinner, she was perfect company.  she was bubbly and funny, merry, even if she was quite rude.  she poked fun at me, but in way that made it clear she didn't like me.  i wasn't sure what to make of her, except that she was only being bareable because of the food on her plate and the heat the café provided.  we talked about nothing and laughed and ate.  she ate very little, as though she wasn't used to much.  when we were through, and we got the check, she pushed it over to me.

i paid, and we got up to leave.

"where are you off to now?" i asked, as she made to leave.

"home, dumbass."

"where is 'home'?"

"that'll be another twenty."

i paid her and followed her home.  she lived in a dingy sort of apartment, with stained sheets and walls.  even the ceiling was stained and dented, which i didn't really understand.  there were clothes strewn across the floor, empty takeout boxes on every available surface, and weed in plain sight on the dresser.  but what caught my eye was the strange flickering light coming from the closet.  it seemed to be multicolored.

"what's in there?"  i pointed.

"nothing."

i was out of cash.  how could i persuade her to let me see?

"alright, let's get this over with," she sighed, and came closer to me, began to pull on my tie.

"uh...no thanks.  i just want to see what's in your closet."

she gave me a disgusted look, but opened the door.  the closet was perfectly clean, scrubbed walls and ceiling.  there were christmas lights hanging around the frame, which explained the lighting, and inside was a neat little bean bag chair and a pillow and a small table lamp, which was crouched next to the chair on the floor.  i looked at her.

"so you are human."

she frowned at me, shut the closet door.

"you have a soft side."

her eyes, which had hooked me into her from the moment i'd seen her, now glared right through me to the wall behind me, her fists clenched.

i stopped and left awkwardly, giving a small wave that she did not return.  i walked the rest of the way home and lay in bed, staring at the stars outside my window.

the last day, i found her smoking a blunt again on the same corner in the same bad mood.  i tried handing her a twenty this time, but she wouldn't take it.  she exhaled smoke in my face and turned her back on me.  i walked around to the other side of her and tried giving her the money again, but i met the same response.  hurt, i walked home.

it's been three days.  i haven't walked by her corner.

what should i do?

Description
i don't want to think about her.

i met her on a street corner.  she was smoking a blunt like it was perfectly normal, nothing to worry about.  i was walking by, crunching in the falling snow, when i smelled the weed and stopped and saw her.  she was wearing a short skirt and fishnets and boots and a shirt you could see through to her bra.  she had no sweater, though it was well below freezing.  but she didn't appear to be shivering.  maybe she was just tripping, i didn't know, but she sparked my curiosity, in any case.  i went over to her and tapped her on the shoulder.  she turned to me and i saw her eyes for the first time and it felt like all the air had been sucked from the world.  her eyes were soulless, but not in a way that made her satanic.  in a way where you wondered what had happened to destroy such a young life.

but anyway, she turned to me, and i lost my breath, and she waited a few moments before saying, "what?  unless you're gonna pay for my time, don't bother me."  she was about to turn away again when my throat got unstuck.

"wait."

"what?  kinda busy here."

i teetered for a moment on walking away, not embarrassing myself.  but i couldn't.  "aren't you cold?" i blurted, face reddening, unable to bite my tongue.

she gave me a look as icy as the air and turned away, went on smoking.

the next day, i took the same route in hope of finding her.  sure enough, there she was, same corner, except this time she was wearing shorts and smoking a cigarette.  she saw me walking toward her, scoffed, and turned away.  i reached into my jacket pocket, pulled out a twenty, and tapped her on the shoulder again.

she turned, ready to scoff again, but she saw the money and smiled instead.  she took it and looped her arm in mine, laughing suddenly, taking one last draw on her cigarette and stamping it out in the grayish snow.

"what can i do for you?  though i gotta warn you, some things are more expensive than a twenty."

i considered.  her arm felt strange, but in a good way.  she was somehow still warm, though she was again without a coat.

"let me take you out to dinner," i said.

she gave me a weird look, then smiled.  "sure," she said.  "i'd be down."

we went to some café and she ordered a chicken noodle soup while still smiling broadly.  i don't even remember what i ordered.  it almost made me sad, the abrupt change in her.  she would do anything for money.

all throughout dinner, she was perfect company.  she was bubbly and funny, merry, even if she was quite rude.  she poked fun at me, but in way that made it clear she didn't like me.  i wasn't sure what to make of her, except that she was only being bareable because of the food on her plate and the heat the café provided.  we talked about nothing and laughed and ate.  she ate very little, as though she wasn't used to much.  when we were through, and we got the check, she pushed it over to me.

i paid, and we got up to leave.

"where are you off to now?" i asked, as she made to leave.

"home, dumbass."

"where is 'home'?"

"that'll be another twenty."

i paid her and followed her home.  she lived in a dingy sort of apartment, with stained sheets and walls.  even the ceiling was stained and dented, which i didn't really understand.  there were clothes strewn across the floor, empty takeout boxes on every available surface, and weed in plain sight on the dresser.  but what caught my eye was the strange flickering light coming from the closet.  it seemed to be multicolored.

"what's in there?"  i pointed.

"nothing."

i was out of cash.  how could i persuade her to let me see?

"alright, let's get this over with," she sighed, and came closer to me, began to pull on my tie.

"uh...no thanks.  i just want to see what's in your closet."

she gave me a disgusted look, but opened the door.  the closet was perfectly clean, scrubbed walls and ceiling.  there were christmas lights hanging around the frame, which explained the lighting, and inside was a neat little bean bag chair and a pillow and a small table lamp, which was crouched next to the chair on the floor.  i looked at her.

"so you are human."

she frowned at me, shut the closet door.

"you have a soft side."

her eyes, which had hooked me into her from the moment i'd seen her, now glared right through me to the wall behind me, her fists clenched.

i stopped and left awkwardly, giving a small wave that she did not return.  i walked the rest of the way home and lay in bed, staring at the stars outside my window.

the last day, i found her smoking a blunt again on the same corner in the same bad mood.  i tried handing her a twenty this time, but she wouldn't take it.  she exhaled smoke in my face and turned her back on me.  i walked around to the other side of her and tried giving her the money again, but i met the same response.  hurt, i walked home.

it's been three days.  i haven't walked by her corner.

what should i do?