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Description
You want to fuck me but you don't want to love me,
not the way that old people do --
til death do us part and in sickness and misery,
us against the world the whole way through --
but you're happy to pin me up against the wall
like you've pinned my heart on a trophy mount,
wriggling, writhing, bleeding against the steel,
still alive, for now, for a little bit, for eternity,

and even now, even now, even now,
I would give you the blood in my tired veins,
the last breath in my crackling lungs,
kill the dreams of a child in my womb with eyes
just like yours, soft, gentle, impassable --

but all you want to do is fuck me,
like I never whispered all of my secrets and dreams
into the darkness with you beside me,
two nesting dolls as close as we could be,
like you never wove strands of hope into my hair
as your fingers stroked my scalp and my soul,
feather-light and possessive in all the ways I liked --
fiercely loving me until I was blinded by it
because being loved by you was like staring into a star,
beautiful and overwhelming and terrifying
and I couldn't look away --

but now all you want to do is fuck me
because loving me is scary in ways you couldn't imagine,
in ways that make your own broken pieces tremble in fear
of healing, of redemption, of opening a different chapter
instead of reading the one on abandonment on repeat,
when I have written you sonnets and painted them into the skies
and kept them alive with the beating of a heart you once called broken

yet I never knew brokenness until you dressed me in promises
and vanished, leaving me naked in crowded streets,
begging for you to love me, love me, love me --
and there you were, conjured out of grief,
stitched together with wishes you didn't know you made
because it seeps out of your bones and trails around you,
smokey vapors curled around your ears and ankles,
reaching out for me in ways I find irresistible and yet --
you don't care if I'm bleeding out on the asphalt of your heart,
the door is closed, the gate sealed shut, love is a risk
you aren't willing to take on yourself
and all you want to do is fuck me.

Description
You want to fuck me but you don't want to love me,
not the way that old people do --
til death do us part and in sickness and misery,
us against the world the whole way through --
but you're happy to pin me up against the wall
like you've pinned my heart on a trophy mount,
wriggling, writhing, bleeding against the steel,
still alive, for now, for a little bit, for eternity,

and even now, even now, even now,
I would give you the blood in my tired veins,
the last breath in my crackling lungs,
kill the dreams of a child in my womb with eyes
just like yours, soft, gentle, impassable --

but all you want to do is fuck me,
like I never whispered all of my secrets and dreams
into the darkness with you beside me,
two nesting dolls as close as we could be,
like you never wove strands of hope into my hair
as your fingers stroked my scalp and my soul,
feather-light and possessive in all the ways I liked --
fiercely loving me until I was blinded by it
because being loved by you was like staring into a star,
beautiful and overwhelming and terrifying
and I couldn't look away --

but now all you want to do is fuck me
because loving me is scary in ways you couldn't imagine,
in ways that make your own broken pieces tremble in fear
of healing, of redemption, of opening a different chapter
instead of reading the one on abandonment on repeat,
when I have written you sonnets and painted them into the skies
and kept them alive with the beating of a heart you once called broken

yet I never knew brokenness until you dressed me in promises
and vanished, leaving me naked in crowded streets,
begging for you to love me, love me, love me --
and there you were, conjured out of grief,
stitched together with wishes you didn't know you made
because it seeps out of your bones and trails around you,
smokey vapors curled around your ears and ankles,
reaching out for me in ways I find irresistible and yet --
you don't care if I'm bleeding out on the asphalt of your heart,
the door is closed, the gate sealed shut, love is a risk
you aren't willing to take on yourself
and all you want to do is fuck me.