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Aerode — How to be Creatively Cliche in 13 Ways
Published: 2014-02-06 22:32:55 +0000 UTC; Views: 1960; Favourites: 60; Downloads: 0
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1.) Punctuation makes all the difference! For example, "Let's eat, Rebecca!" can be changed to "Let's eat Rebecca!" if a single comma is removed. Use punctuation to save Rebecca's life. An exception can be made if Rebecca has already been eaten and is now stewing delightfully in your stomach acid.


2.) capitalization is important! writing like this won't make much of an impact on the reader. otherwise, do not change the font face in an attempt to make the writing unique. no. the font doesn't change what you are trying to convey. and it's far too overdone to be unique. unless you're feeling verdana one day and courier the next. then by all means, do what you wish.


3.) Instead, alTERnatE beTWeen WrITiNg iN CApS and lOwERCaSE tO BothEr yOUR reaDEr. If this is already your forte, consider WRITING IN ALL CAPITALS TO INTIMIDATE BOTH YOUR FRIENDS AND ENEMIES.


4.) writing in all small text either tells the reader you are feeling small, whispering or you feel your voice will never be heard. it's also used very often.


5.) However, that takes far too much work to constantly type < sub > or < small >. Instead, why don't you try writing in huge font? All it takes is a simple < h1 >.


6.) Guaranteed to get your readers' attention. See? It's plausible the reader noticed this first.


7.) When you feel your heart drop, don't imagine it boiling in your stomach or catching in your throat. Instead, try your esophagus, or lower intestine. Revel in the readers' probable look of disgust.


8.) You cannot live in space. Neither can you swim through stars and collect stardust. The literature society deems it perfectly acceptable, though.


9.) When you label individual sections of poetry/prose with numbers, do you give them names? If not, why don't you try it? However, the largest problem here is that these labels are given names such as 'broken' or 'supernova'. These are not pleasant names for your dear literature. 'Max', 'Fido', and 'Woof' are much more idealistic. Don't forget to feed 'em.


10.) Other symbols on the keyboard (such as the percent sign) rarely see the light of day in literature. How about using a few of them to replace an overdone word? Swap in a dollar sign, an ampersand, a carat, and a hashtag in the place of a verb such as 'broke' or 'collapse'. You can now utilize much more abstract thoughts in your literature. As a plus, you'll now be able to distinguish between your readers with normal minds vs. readers with... not-so-normal minds.


11.) Try being extremely literal instead of metaphorical with your literature. For example: "Butterflies are born in my stomach every time you embrace me. The tremors of their wings cause my stomach to growl in protest. I vomit the bugs and my meatloaf lunch onto your warm sweater." How romantic.


12.) Let's focus on imagery. We notice sight, taste, hearing, and touch quite often. How 'bout smell? Both pleasant and unpleasant. The smell of baking apple pie could remind you of your home in the countryside. Or that unpleasant odor wafting from the crack between your couch cushions could be reminiscent of your sweaty ex-girlfriend. Note the 'ex'.

13.) Make sure you will not break any of these rules.



Now, let's utilize some of these tips to create one fantastic poem!


~~~~~~~~~~


i. woof


I never thought that you would

be able to tear my heart from its

veins. (After all, it's surrounded by layers

of flesh, ribs, and multiple layers of skin.) You shattered

me. I may be dead now, but you are

too.




ii.  max


The smell of baking dead bodies nearly

causes me to swoon, reminding my of

the sweet times of my former occupation:

when a badly written letter caused me

to murder him.




iii. kitty


I can still recall when stardust flew from your body.


Wait, never mind, that was just your index finger.


~~~~~~~~~~


With all these tips, you'll be able to go much farther than the poem above. Now please, show the world how you can be creatively cliche!



Related content
Comments: 71

creativelycliche In reply to ??? [2014-02-06 23:53:46 +0000 UTC]

This is awesome.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aerode In reply to creativelycliche [2014-02-07 01:03:46 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! I hope you don't mind I used your username.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

creativelycliche In reply to Aerode [2014-02-07 01:08:41 +0000 UTC]

Not at all! (=

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C-A-Harland In reply to ??? [2014-02-06 23:50:38 +0000 UTC]

Still laughing. I really love the one about switching to caps to intimidate your reader.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aerode In reply to C-A-Harland [2014-02-07 01:03:54 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

AyeAye12 In reply to ??? [2014-02-06 22:46:06 +0000 UTC]

OH SNAP YES.
xD Brilliant. You need to make a satire once in a while, lots of fun when you do :3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aerode In reply to AyeAye12 [2014-02-07 01:04:07 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

SpiralingSpontaneity [2014-02-06 22:42:13 +0000 UTC]

This made me laugh so hard (possibly because I do some of the things you mentioned ).

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aerode In reply to SpiralingSpontaneity [2014-02-06 22:43:20 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!


And please, don't be offended. Just poking fun.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

SpiralingSpontaneity In reply to Aerode [2014-02-06 22:44:21 +0000 UTC]

Nono, I'm not offended at all! This was hilarious

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aerode In reply to SpiralingSpontaneity [2014-02-06 22:44:40 +0000 UTC]

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SpiralingSpontaneity In reply to Aerode [2014-02-06 22:45:24 +0000 UTC]

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ieatrosepetals In reply to ??? [2014-02-06 22:37:21 +0000 UTC]

pffft. this was hilarious.  

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aerode In reply to ieatrosepetals [2014-02-06 22:39:22 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ieatrosepetals In reply to Aerode [2014-02-06 22:44:50 +0000 UTC]

you're welcome, cute one! 

also reasoning for me making my font smaller in comments- the bigger font tends to hurt my eyes. (which apparently doesn't make sense but i can't help what my body does) 

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aerode In reply to ieatrosepetals [2014-02-07 01:05:52 +0000 UTC]

No, don't worry, I'm not mocking you for anything. IS the font on your computer normally smaller also?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ieatrosepetals In reply to Aerode [2014-02-07 01:07:54 +0000 UTC]

i do keep it rather small though just to avoid straining my eyes at bigger letters. (again makes no sense according to people). 

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aerode In reply to ieatrosepetals [2014-02-07 02:26:57 +0000 UTC]

I believe you.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ieatrosepetals In reply to Aerode [2014-02-07 02:58:45 +0000 UTC]

YAY SOMEONE BELIEVES MEEE.  

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aerode In reply to ieatrosepetals [2014-02-07 03:16:29 +0000 UTC]

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