HOME | DD

Description
Because I don't tell you
Anything personal
Anymore because I am too
Personal for you. I am not cold
You are cold
You are colder than any weather
I have weathered
I have weathered you because
I am too attached
Now this happens every so often
I'm diseased
Because you are a disease but
Also because I am a disease
You were what I needed my cure
My medicine my heroin
I know all about heroin
But you are not that anymore
Because this withdrawal has
Wrecked my immune system
My immune system is destroyed along
With my faith in you
And my faith in myself
And my faith in everyone
Not my faith in G-d.
But I read my Psalms in the morning
Early my tehillim start early
But I think of you earlier and I don't
Even like you
Because you became something different
To me you are not
What it was like before
Before it happened in spurts it would be
Two months of every night
Talking talking then
Silence
Nothing because maybe he just couldn't
Pick up the
G-D DAMN PHONE
But this is a schedule
A schedule that makes me wonder
What I became I scheduled my time
With you
The better to hold on
To you
Even though I don't even like you
But you joke and you kid
And I half think you're serious
All right
With him it was always you'll show
Up at my door I'll be married and
I'll have kids and you'll need something
And I'll give it to you
But with you
I just expect you to leave
Never come back
Because our strings
Our kite strings are disintegrating
I am that kite and I
Am disintegrating because
I think that I liked you
And I think you hurt me a little
You hurt me a little
You had me going
You had me going
You had me going
And I didn't cry about it
I didn't cry for you
Because I was thinking about you
But I don't cry
And I didn't cry
You know what, you know?
You know that my problems
Will follow you
Because I think deep down
I think you're a liar
I think that even though you already
Say you care and you listen
I think you really care
I think you really care more than
You really wanted to care
Don't love you
Don't do not I do not
Love you
Don't even like you
Thought you were there because
You were always
But maybe I failed you
Because I have something to tell you
I fail at people
And things in general
And I failed myself and I failed my
G-d
And I should have cut you off
But I can't cut you off
Because in cutting you off
I hurt myself and I haven't
Made myself suffer enough
Not quite yet not yet no
I will suffer for you
Because you made, you and others made
Me remember how not to trust anyone
Because being crushed, my throat
Stepped on by your heart
Your heart your heart
Is not the same shade as I know
Familiar
Like my own, but my own is not
So secure
Though I'm caught inside
Caught inside
Caught inside, in the absence
Of a place to be