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Description
I thought she wanted to be my friend. Something more, even. I told her what a mess I was and she hugged me and told me that it was okay. That I mattered and that she liked me and my silly thoughts and my words and my drawings, and even the way I look. We played games, watched cartoons, and we’d draw some stuff together, and drink tea, and she’d look at me, and she'd hug me, and I would lay my head on her lap, and she’d listen to what I had to say, and she’d notice I was there. But I stopped writing to her first, and nothing came after. Silence. Not even a "hi, i'm a bit busy". Or "goodbye". Not even "I always hated you". She didn’t even notice, or didn’t care, or was relieved. Did I really not matter? Was it all pretend? Did she grow tired of me? Did she want to play with my feelings? Wanted to feel like a saviour and realised she wasn’t up to the challenge? I don’t understand.
I don’t know who I’m leaving those for. Just some venting, I guess. I can pretend someone listened to me that way. if someone is - thank you.

Description
I thought she wanted to be my friend. Something more, even. I told her what a mess I was and she hugged me and told me that it was okay. That I mattered and that she liked me and my silly thoughts and my words and my drawings, and even the way I look. We played games, watched cartoons, and we’d draw some stuff together, and drink tea, and she’d look at me, and she'd hug me, and I would lay my head on her lap, and she’d listen to what I had to say, and she’d notice I was there. But I stopped writing to her first, and nothing came after. Silence. Not even a "hi, i'm a bit busy". Or "goodbye". Not even "I always hated you". She didn’t even notice, or didn’t care, or was relieved. Did I really not matter? Was it all pretend? Did she grow tired of me? Did she want to play with my feelings? Wanted to feel like a saviour and realised she wasn’t up to the challenge? I don’t understand.
I don’t know who I’m leaving those for. Just some venting, I guess. I can pretend someone listened to me that way. if someone is - thank you.