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Description
Vision so clear, I’ve become blind
Deaf from the overamplified sounds
My skin rattled from every touch – now numb
Muted from my whispers, roars & purrs

A piece of me went away
That day
I flat-lined twice
Ripped back here with adrenaline – round one
Jolted through the Defibrillator – round two
Waking to the frequent intermittent ssssssssshhhhhh following the clench around my bicep
Strapped down – hooked up – every body part monitored & controlled
The sharp moving glowing light scattering again – gauges beeping acknowledging my existence
Wishing it didn’t

Something left – a part of me
In the longinquity
The vaporous symmetry of nothing
Waiting for my abandoned remains to meet once again & fuse
Until then – I am a parallax
Disjointed causation

Missing that part of me
I chose – I risked – succeeded only in part
My fault – my mistake – a torment worse than before

If only they hadn’t been there – witnesses, “saviours”- carrying me unconscious on their shoulders
Like soldiers
My whole being would be cohesive in one plane
Or
If only I hadn’t cut myself & washed down all those pills with vodka
I’d still be in this existence I’ve grown sick of
But at least I would still be
whole

Description
Vision so clear, I’ve become blind
Deaf from the overamplified sounds
My skin rattled from every touch – now numb
Muted from my whispers, roars & purrs

A piece of me went away
That day
I flat-lined twice
Ripped back here with adrenaline – round one
Jolted through the Defibrillator – round two
Waking to the frequent intermittent ssssssssshhhhhh following the clench around my bicep
Strapped down – hooked up – every body part monitored & controlled
The sharp moving glowing light scattering again – gauges beeping acknowledging my existence
Wishing it didn’t

Something left – a part of me
In the longinquity
The vaporous symmetry of nothing
Waiting for my abandoned remains to meet once again & fuse
Until then – I am a parallax
Disjointed causation

Missing that part of me
I chose – I risked – succeeded only in part
My fault – my mistake – a torment worse than before

If only they hadn’t been there – witnesses, “saviours”- carrying me unconscious on their shoulders
Like soldiers
My whole being would be cohesive in one plane
Or
If only I hadn’t cut myself & washed down all those pills with vodka
I’d still be in this existence I’ve grown sick of
But at least I would still be
whole