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Published: 2004-09-02 22:51:10 +0000 UTC; Views: 151; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 5
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Description
and you,with your fancy glances
childlike dances
stealing glances
making advances
in deep dark glasses
twirling along with your white gloves on
singing candle songs
laying on the lawn
watching each other yawn
feel like ive won
this date is more than
the time i spent thinking
of all the sudden movements
and dangeresque expression
syncronymous to our steps
this time, this moment
is better than the bliss on the radio
or cadence of the sad show
why dont we both live there?
when my head stops spinning
ill see you,
still moving
moving to the song in my head
my eyes
they follow your hips
in optic spleandour
like spring in december
only the times i remember
bracing this pillow
like it wants a fight
tempting me slowly
softer and softer
dampening
sound
...
and it stops
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Comments: 9
lipsxeyesxback [2004-09-03 03:57:57 +0000 UTC]
Gah! Your so good, it hurts!
I'm very happy to hear a happy poem.
Who is this wonderful girl you write about? She is very lucky....
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
lovelorn [2004-09-03 03:12:46 +0000 UTC]
Advanced Critique Encouraged
This user has opted to encourage critique-heavy comments for this deviation in order to better help him or her improve. Critical and non-critical comments are welcome, but critical comments are most appreciated.
I have none.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
avalokiteshavara [2004-09-03 02:44:05 +0000 UTC]
hmm..
really plug in my atmosphere
__stockpile beautiful moments
write them down, keep a photo, keep a record in your computer.
Then recall these moments often, reflecting on them,
taking pleasure in them, integrating them into your day - to- day routine and outlook.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
girlwithabrokenheart [2004-09-03 00:35:07 +0000 UTC]
ooo!
wow!
its really good!! its happy, I like it!
(hehe just fix the lil typos)
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Srfgurl5 [2004-09-03 00:08:44 +0000 UTC]
OMGOODNESS I was 2 distracted by u when you read it to realize how awesome this is MISS U!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0