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Description
A well fed facade, well, I should say it wasn't a facade, but with the Rebel Flag sprawled across his hat I had my own impression who this character really was.  Nobody else could see it.  Nobody else could see the trees for the forest fire.  The raging conversationalist that he was became quite a spectacle: the whole afternoon I nursed beer after bloody beer as he carried on with his witty, racists jokes.  Nobody else could see beyond it and hillbilly chuckled it up, which did no more than put extra black powder in his musket.  He had sweat beads across his neck and if I had the chance to line the lot up against the bar, well, a consistent pattern of plaid toppers and blue jean bottomers would become the real joke.  An emulation, a copy, and out of all this world that is to be learned, his barking for more Budweiser and shit he wouldn't speak outside of his well worn bar stool, was all he appeared to be educated in.

He made a staggering look over at me and asked if I knew any good jokes.  I thought for a moment and then recalled one of his brother rallying speeches before his speech failed him.  I smiled, pulled out a map and asked for a pen.  After a long pause, I circled the Southeastern United States.  The piss poor, American beer guzzling crowd whispered in twang that I could not understand.  I stood, and asked "So, the south will rise again?"  Everyone cheered and proclaimed Rebel Glory.  I smiled and slipped enough cash to cover my tab.  I motioned my hands and the crowd fell silent.  Looking at the gut of a man, I said "Here it comes..." before I belted out:

"The South cannot RISE AGAIN as it is GEOGRAPHICALLY IMPOSSIBLE!"  Silence.  I took it a step further and pointed out the northern United States with many booing and upset folks.  I then pointed the Southeastern United States out on my travel map.  The crowd was pissed, but silenced when I held up my hands.  "HOWEVER," I added, "this should make you feel better."  I tore the circled area out, placed it over Canada, Minnesota, and other random northern states.  In a quick motion, I shoved the pen through the map overlay into the fatty chest of the jabber box and before I made my break out the door, I finally proclaimed: "Even if this could happen, you would be the NEW NORTH."

Description
A well fed facade, well, I should say it wasn't a facade, but with the Rebel Flag sprawled across his hat I had my own impression who this character really was.  Nobody else could see it.  Nobody else could see the trees for the forest fire.  The raging conversationalist that he was became quite a spectacle: the whole afternoon I nursed beer after bloody beer as he carried on with his witty, racists jokes.  Nobody else could see beyond it and hillbilly chuckled it up, which did no more than put extra black powder in his musket.  He had sweat beads across his neck and if I had the chance to line the lot up against the bar, well, a consistent pattern of plaid toppers and blue jean bottomers would become the real joke.  An emulation, a copy, and out of all this world that is to be learned, his barking for more Budweiser and shit he wouldn't speak outside of his well worn bar stool, was all he appeared to be educated in.

He made a staggering look over at me and asked if I knew any good jokes.  I thought for a moment and then recalled one of his brother rallying speeches before his speech failed him.  I smiled, pulled out a map and asked for a pen.  After a long pause, I circled the Southeastern United States.  The piss poor, American beer guzzling crowd whispered in twang that I could not understand.  I stood, and asked "So, the south will rise again?"  Everyone cheered and proclaimed Rebel Glory.  I smiled and slipped enough cash to cover my tab.  I motioned my hands and the crowd fell silent.  Looking at the gut of a man, I said "Here it comes..." before I belted out:

"The South cannot RISE AGAIN as it is GEOGRAPHICALLY IMPOSSIBLE!"  Silence.  I took it a step further and pointed out the northern United States with many booing and upset folks.  I then pointed the Southeastern United States out on my travel map.  The crowd was pissed, but silenced when I held up my hands.  "HOWEVER," I added, "this should make you feel better."  I tore the circled area out, placed it over Canada, Minnesota, and other random northern states.  In a quick motion, I shoved the pen through the map overlay into the fatty chest of the jabber box and before I made my break out the door, I finally proclaimed: "Even if this could happen, you would be the NEW NORTH."