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Description

The Image Above is from A Hat in Time by Gears for Breakfast.

The following ficlet contains major spoilers for “A Hat in Time” and is for entertainment purposes only.

...

Subcon Forest…

The Snatcher was kicked back in his quaint little mushroom home, quietly thinking up new contracts to force hapless mortals into taking should they stumble into his forest. His thoughts were disrupted by a small voice nearby.

“Ahem.”

Snatcher looked down and saw Hat Kid smiling up at him, waving at him.

“Oh, it’s you. Get lost kid. I already told you that our business is finished!” Snatcher groaned, looking away from her.

“Ahem!”

Snatcher looked back at her with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Someone really wants to lose her soul. I already told you, get lo-…huh?” Snatcher asked as he saw Hat Kid holding up a folder with what appeared to be pictures in it. She held it out to him curiously.

“What’s this?” he asked, taking the envelope and flipping through it. Inside he found a collection of 9 photographs all bound together with a cover on the front reading “The Tale of Queen Vanessa.” Snatcher then scoffed and looked away from it.

“Oh please. I already know the old hag’s tale. I don’t need a reminder.” Snatcher huffed, throwing down the folder. Hat Girl, undeterred, picked up the folder, flipped to a specific page (the next to last, specifically) and flipped the folder around to show Snatcher.

“Ah~hem!” Hat Kid said, Snatcher looking towards her again. He then leaned forward at the picture, looking at it closely.

“So…you figured it out kiddo. How’d you get this, I wonder. But I’m done making contracts with you.” Snatcher said, crossing his arms over his chest, sitting back in his chair. Hat Kid merely smiled, removing her top hat, pulling out a rolled up sheet of paper, and then handing it towards Snatcher. Snatcher looked at her curiously, snatching the paper from her hand and unrolling it. It read…

“I, the undersigned, agree to the following request…
[ ] Tell the issuer of the contract the true story of Queen Vanessa.
…in exchange, the issuer agrees to the following…
The issuer will never make another request of the undersigned ever again.”

And below was a space for Snatcher to sign. Snatcher looked at this “contract” in amusement, belting out a loud laugh before looking at Hat Kid.

“Well played, kid! Normally I’d steal your soul for pulling that trick on me, but because it’s you and signing this frees me of you forever, I’ll humor you just this once.” Snatcher said, conjuring his quill pen and signing his name on the signature space. The Contract then rolled itself up and flew back to Hat Kid’s hand, Hat Kid putting the contract back inside her hat. Snatcher then cleared his throat, conjuring a large book into his hands.

“Alright kiddo. You want the true story of Queen Vanessa, you got it.” Snatcher said. Hat Kid plopped down onto her chest in front of him, looking up at him anxiously. Snatcher then looked at her.

“Comfy cozy?” he asked as Hat Girl nodded. Snatcher then cleared his throat again, looking at the book.

“Once upon a time, there was a beautiful Princess named Vanessa. Vanessa was in love with a handsome Prince from a neighboring forest kingdom and they spent all their time together.” Snatcher said before letting out a huff of derision.

“What a fool he was.” Snatcher mumbled to himself before returning to the story.

“Well the Princess didn’t know it but the Prince loved her too and wanted to prove himself as gre~eat a Prince and potential King as he could be by going to Law School in a neighboring town, studying how to make laws, decrees, and contracts.” Snatcher said before pausing, looking up slightly.

“Well, that paid off.” He muttered proudly to himself before looking back at the book.

“Little did the Prince know it, but the Princess was so madly in love with him, that she went bonkers, insane, stark raving loony birds! She became insanely jealous whenever our handsome prince even looked at another girl! I mean come on, that tutor was old enough to be my own moth-.” Snatcher raged before pausing and looking at Hat Girl. She wasn’t smiling but she was still looking up at him. Snatcher sighed before looking back at the book.

“Well one day, the Prince came home for a short visit after the Princess was crowned Queen. He wanted to buy her some flowers to give her when he proposed to her but when he bought some flowers from an, admittedly pretty, florist, the Queen saw her and, well, she flipped her lid! She ordered the guards to arrest the Prince and then had him chained up on the wall in the basement, leaving me there until I-!” Snatcher yelled, having grown increasingly angry at the story. He then froze, looking at Hat Kid as he caught his breath. Hat Kid was frowning almost pityingly at him. Snatcher then looked at the book again.

“Queen Vanessa chained the Prince up in the cellar, leaving him there until he died. Vanessa’s insanity tainted and distorted her into an abomination that, to this day, roams the halls of her mansion. As for the Prince…well…let’s just say his ghost found a new career making contracts with any sap that wanders into his forest.” Snatcher said with a sad sigh, looking out his door towards the broken bridge leading to Vanessa’s Manor.

“Oh Vanessa…what happened to you?” Snatcher asked before realizing that he wasn’t alone. He looked and saw Hat Kid frowning pityingly up at him.

“Don’t give me that look, kid! How was the Prince to know Vanessa was a loon?! I mean she fell in love with his red hot smokin’ bod at first glance! Now that’s the end of the story. Contract fulfilled, now get lost! Hasta La Windows Vista and don’t come back!” Snatcher said as Hat Girl stood up, tipped her hat to him, before turning sadly and walking off into the forest. Snatcher watched her leave before turning his attention back to the book, looking at its blank pages before conjuring it away in a puff of black smoke. He sat back with a sigh before conjuring another contract, the one Hat Kid had rewritten after beating him. He chuckled a little at it.

“Ah, kid. Somehow you got this black heart to beat a little bit for the first time in a long time.” Snatcher said before dismissing the contract and standing up, taking a deep breath before yelling…

“I’LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT, FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!”

At this, Snatcher started laughing with sinister glee that echoed throughout Subcon Forest!

Fin.

Description

The Image Above is from A Hat in Time by Gears for Breakfast.

The following ficlet contains major spoilers for “A Hat in Time” and is for entertainment purposes only.

...

Subcon Forest…

The Snatcher was kicked back in his quaint little mushroom home, quietly thinking up new contracts to force hapless mortals into taking should they stumble into his forest. His thoughts were disrupted by a small voice nearby.

“Ahem.”

Snatcher looked down and saw Hat Kid smiling up at him, waving at him.

“Oh, it’s you. Get lost kid. I already told you that our business is finished!” Snatcher groaned, looking away from her.

“Ahem!”

Snatcher looked back at her with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Someone really wants to lose her soul. I already told you, get lo-…huh?” Snatcher asked as he saw Hat Kid holding up a folder with what appeared to be pictures in it. She held it out to him curiously.

“What’s this?” he asked, taking the envelope and flipping through it. Inside he found a collection of 9 photographs all bound together with a cover on the front reading “The Tale of Queen Vanessa.” Snatcher then scoffed and looked away from it.

“Oh please. I already know the old hag’s tale. I don’t need a reminder.” Snatcher huffed, throwing down the folder. Hat Girl, undeterred, picked up the folder, flipped to a specific page (the next to last, specifically) and flipped the folder around to show Snatcher.

“Ah~hem!” Hat Kid said, Snatcher looking towards her again. He then leaned forward at the picture, looking at it closely.

“So…you figured it out kiddo. How’d you get this, I wonder. But I’m done making contracts with you.” Snatcher said, crossing his arms over his chest, sitting back in his chair. Hat Kid merely smiled, removing her top hat, pulling out a rolled up sheet of paper, and then handing it towards Snatcher. Snatcher looked at her curiously, snatching the paper from her hand and unrolling it. It read…

“I, the undersigned, agree to the following request…
[ ] Tell the issuer of the contract the true story of Queen Vanessa.
…in exchange, the issuer agrees to the following…
The issuer will never make another request of the undersigned ever again.”

And below was a space for Snatcher to sign. Snatcher looked at this “contract” in amusement, belting out a loud laugh before looking at Hat Kid.

“Well played, kid! Normally I’d steal your soul for pulling that trick on me, but because it’s you and signing this frees me of you forever, I’ll humor you just this once.” Snatcher said, conjuring his quill pen and signing his name on the signature space. The Contract then rolled itself up and flew back to Hat Kid’s hand, Hat Kid putting the contract back inside her hat. Snatcher then cleared his throat, conjuring a large book into his hands.

“Alright kiddo. You want the true story of Queen Vanessa, you got it.” Snatcher said. Hat Kid plopped down onto her chest in front of him, looking up at him anxiously. Snatcher then looked at her.

“Comfy cozy?” he asked as Hat Girl nodded. Snatcher then cleared his throat again, looking at the book.

“Once upon a time, there was a beautiful Princess named Vanessa. Vanessa was in love with a handsome Prince from a neighboring forest kingdom and they spent all their time together.” Snatcher said before letting out a huff of derision.

“What a fool he was.” Snatcher mumbled to himself before returning to the story.

“Well the Princess didn’t know it but the Prince loved her too and wanted to prove himself as gre~eat a Prince and potential King as he could be by going to Law School in a neighboring town, studying how to make laws, decrees, and contracts.” Snatcher said before pausing, looking up slightly.

“Well, that paid off.” He muttered proudly to himself before looking back at the book.

“Little did the Prince know it, but the Princess was so madly in love with him, that she went bonkers, insane, stark raving loony birds! She became insanely jealous whenever our handsome prince even looked at another girl! I mean come on, that tutor was old enough to be my own moth-.” Snatcher raged before pausing and looking at Hat Girl. She wasn’t smiling but she was still looking up at him. Snatcher sighed before looking back at the book.

“Well one day, the Prince came home for a short visit after the Princess was crowned Queen. He wanted to buy her some flowers to give her when he proposed to her but when he bought some flowers from an, admittedly pretty, florist, the Queen saw her and, well, she flipped her lid! She ordered the guards to arrest the Prince and then had him chained up on the wall in the basement, leaving me there until I-!” Snatcher yelled, having grown increasingly angry at the story. He then froze, looking at Hat Kid as he caught his breath. Hat Kid was frowning almost pityingly at him. Snatcher then looked at the book again.

“Queen Vanessa chained the Prince up in the cellar, leaving him there until he died. Vanessa’s insanity tainted and distorted her into an abomination that, to this day, roams the halls of her mansion. As for the Prince…well…let’s just say his ghost found a new career making contracts with any sap that wanders into his forest.” Snatcher said with a sad sigh, looking out his door towards the broken bridge leading to Vanessa’s Manor.

“Oh Vanessa…what happened to you?” Snatcher asked before realizing that he wasn’t alone. He looked and saw Hat Kid frowning pityingly up at him.

“Don’t give me that look, kid! How was the Prince to know Vanessa was a loon?! I mean she fell in love with his red hot smokin’ bod at first glance! Now that’s the end of the story. Contract fulfilled, now get lost! Hasta La Windows Vista and don’t come back!” Snatcher said as Hat Girl stood up, tipped her hat to him, before turning sadly and walking off into the forest. Snatcher watched her leave before turning his attention back to the book, looking at its blank pages before conjuring it away in a puff of black smoke. He sat back with a sigh before conjuring another contract, the one Hat Kid had rewritten after beating him. He chuckled a little at it.

“Ah, kid. Somehow you got this black heart to beat a little bit for the first time in a long time.” Snatcher said before dismissing the contract and standing up, taking a deep breath before yelling…

“I’LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT, FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!”

At this, Snatcher started laughing with sinister glee that echoed throughout Subcon Forest!

Fin.