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Description
As I sit here...I think...
I shake, my anger wants to over flow...
Tears flow instead... I stay calm
I smile and speak calmly.
I think i can...

My mistakes thrown in my face
you're taking me back to that dark place.
no emotion shows on my face.
i defend myself, while you throw me in front
of a moving bus.
through words alone people turned me into a
Pariah , a slut, a liar, a cheater, a thief...
and some how a very desperate girl..

they have turned me into a user, an abuser...
and an accuser..

but have i ever preformed those actions?
Cheating...? yes, Lying? only a little.
a thief? .... no... am I slut? what did i DO
that turned me into a slut? am i cunt?

i have been called a bitch, cunt and whore.
Slut, emo, cheater and a liar.
i have been called stupid, dumb and worthless...

i have been cheated on, lied to, and stolen from.
every promise broken. every hope shattered...
my words turned against me my actions turned around.

i wore these titles unwillingly.
unwantedly...
but i have worn them, with out caring what others think...

but i break inside, i cry inside...
the names hurt me so much.
but i will never say ....

you will never know...
because you know what..
i'll deal... you don't have to.

it's my problem, not yours...
no one cares enough, no one wants to.

pretending to be happy is better than letting everyone see your pain... why?

no one likes to hear problems, no one wants to be around the upset.
no one CAN help no one knows HOW to help.

so why trouble someone else...

i know, this poem is kinda lame...
it stopped rhyming and kinda scattered.
i don't know what it will mean to you..
But here's what it means to me.

You who have done me wrong.
you who have done the worst.
you turned me into a fallen angel.
a monster just like you.

-smiles, head tilted to one side-
now i am just like you...
no thank you i don't like this title,
but i shall wear it none the less...

because if i don't, no one will believe the real me anyways...
Only I can help myself...
but no one wants to be my ear to talk to or a shoulder..
that's what i am to them...
so there's no time to break down.
no time for myself.

i am not allowed to be sad for one night.
it's not allowed.... not allowed...
i'm not running, i admit my mistakes.
i regret them all but I've moved on.
i let them go...

and yet i still feel like i deserve the worst..
i don't deserve such good in my life..
what have i done to ear in it in the first place?

just being me? how much more of me will they
handle by choice until they want to throw me
away or realize i am a problem in their life.. ?

Description
As I sit here...I think...
I shake, my anger wants to over flow...
Tears flow instead... I stay calm
I smile and speak calmly.
I think i can...

My mistakes thrown in my face
you're taking me back to that dark place.
no emotion shows on my face.
i defend myself, while you throw me in front
of a moving bus.
through words alone people turned me into a
Pariah , a slut, a liar, a cheater, a thief...
and some how a very desperate girl..

they have turned me into a user, an abuser...
and an accuser..

but have i ever preformed those actions?
Cheating...? yes, Lying? only a little.
a thief? .... no... am I slut? what did i DO
that turned me into a slut? am i cunt?

i have been called a bitch, cunt and whore.
Slut, emo, cheater and a liar.
i have been called stupid, dumb and worthless...

i have been cheated on, lied to, and stolen from.
every promise broken. every hope shattered...
my words turned against me my actions turned around.

i wore these titles unwillingly.
unwantedly...
but i have worn them, with out caring what others think...

but i break inside, i cry inside...
the names hurt me so much.
but i will never say ....

you will never know...
because you know what..
i'll deal... you don't have to.

it's my problem, not yours...
no one cares enough, no one wants to.

pretending to be happy is better than letting everyone see your pain... why?

no one likes to hear problems, no one wants to be around the upset.
no one CAN help no one knows HOW to help.

so why trouble someone else...

i know, this poem is kinda lame...
it stopped rhyming and kinda scattered.
i don't know what it will mean to you..
But here's what it means to me.

You who have done me wrong.
you who have done the worst.
you turned me into a fallen angel.
a monster just like you.

-smiles, head tilted to one side-
now i am just like you...
no thank you i don't like this title,
but i shall wear it none the less...

because if i don't, no one will believe the real me anyways...
Only I can help myself...
but no one wants to be my ear to talk to or a shoulder..
that's what i am to them...
so there's no time to break down.
no time for myself.

i am not allowed to be sad for one night.
it's not allowed.... not allowed...
i'm not running, i admit my mistakes.
i regret them all but I've moved on.
i let them go...

and yet i still feel like i deserve the worst..
i don't deserve such good in my life..
what have i done to ear in it in the first place?

just being me? how much more of me will they
handle by choice until they want to throw me
away or realize i am a problem in their life.. ?