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#anxiety #calena #character #coffee #contagious #depression #happiness #health #mlp #oc #original #pony #relationship #relationships #trinity #unicorn #work #deblanc #mlpfim
Published: 2020-05-08 21:05:37 +0000 UTC; Views: 979; Favourites: 18; Downloads: 0
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Life is just too harsh sometimes, and I feel drained...I'm stuck in a loop where I don't take care of my health, and I keep sleeping and just having a slow routine every day. I don't know what to do about that, any first step for me seems so harsh and I lost confidence on people, I don't even believe medics or psychologists are going to help (and I already had a bad experience about that). Also I'm terrified about people's ignorance on Politics it's making me mentally ill. Friends have been my best support and even so I'm having a really hard time to take a step forward about this particular topic.
Depression and anxiety has always been stuck with me, It doesn't feel like I'm living every day as a brand new day, but days full of worries, full of work to do and even the games I play makes me feel like I'm wasting my time and not being responsible, not carrying about stuff that I should be doing. It feels like my body responds to all this unquietness with stress, and when I get stressed, I get easily tired, like a domino every day, and if the first piece falls too soon after a new day starts, I just become useless through that day.
I have work to do, this part it seems fine to me, but I doubt about my professionalism: I wanna grow up as an artist however, the same way I'm stuck with the other things, I'm stuck here too! I have projects from 5 years ago that I can't barely begin with because of all the above I mentioned.
And finally, I had a really big issue about relationships a couple of days ago... Back in 2011 I promised myself not to find a woman in my life, hoping for the opposite to happen, because one had made me pass through so much pain that I got over 2 years of depression, until I found MLP and the brony community. Then, recently, I've found a girl that were in love with me and I decided to give a chance, to talk to her, to also help her, and I wagered my emotions into that, but in the end she just made things worse and broke my heart (and probably her past boyfriend's heart too, because she was already in a relationship when she started talking to me...)
However, like the picture is pointing out, I try to see the best of things and keep reminding myself that "happiness is contagious" and I try to feed myself with that every day, and so, if I'm happy, people around me will be happy, and vice-versa. I listen to a lot of music, it helps me relief my mind and calm down. So for that I'm very optimistic and I'm pretty sure I have hope on things many people don't have anymore...
I did this vent art about all of this, it's not really cool for me but at least it helps me show how I am feeling right now.
~Calena
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