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Honeykit wondered out of the medicine cat den a little disappointed she had been chased out, it seemed that while Hawkpatch didn’t mind her interest in what he did, he didn’t really appreciate being bombarded with one question after another and needed a break once in a while. Since there were so many interesting things to learn, it meant Honeykit had a lot of things to ask, but she probably a little too eager in her pursuit of knowledge. No that, that was necessarily a bad thing. Her ears perked up as she decided to go and see if her siblings were up from their nap yet, lately she had been waking up earlier in order to go visit Hawkpatch in his den. Her paws took her back over to where the nursery was, it was pretty roomy in there because there weren’t really many nursing queens, which also meant there weren’t really any other kits for the trio to play with. Which make it lucky that they had each other. **”Adderkit? Flickerkit?”** She whispered as she entered, **”Are you guys up?”** Trying to not be too loud if they were still sleeping.

Flickerkit had spent much of the early afternoon with a nap as was instructed by Brindleflare. As all kits do when they grew older, it was harder and harder for him to sleep mid-day. Still, he had hit the moss like a brick and slept peacefully - he had fitful dreams the past few nights and had kicked out enough that their mother pushed him to the other side lest he kick one of his littermates awake. He didn't, or at least he hoped not as they hadn't mentioned anything to him as of yet. Of course, this short reprieve was likewise as short-lived because he woke up with his face bloody and paws likewise tacky with blood - not runny nor congealed and his nose was still sore enough for him to know that it had only recently slowed - not quite outright stopped so he stepped aside and pressed his paws to his maw until it did exactly that. Another nursing queen who had borne a small litter only recently - alas, too small for him to play with, even now - helped him clean himself up and the only proof left was his sore nose and the fact that he wrinkled the fur along his muzzle in distaste. So he was very much up - although perhaps a little moodily - when his other sister poked her head in. He blinked in surprise at her and tried to fight off another wrinkle along his muzzle. "Mhmmm," he responded, even though it wasn't much of a response at all. "What're *you* doing up already?" he hadn't noticed it, admittedly, as he had spent a good portion either getting fussed over or trying to sleep again. His words were uttered in confusion rather than stern adherence.
He *did* notice that she scampered off a few times too many and he had never been particularly close with either of them - Honeykit and Adderkit stuck together like glue and ... more often than not left him out of anything good. And, admittedly, everything else. It seemed more accidental than anything else so he tried to push it from his thoughts - but it became even more apparent when Honeykit had poked her head in. He hadn't *known* where she had gone whereas Adderkit likely would have. He frowned then tried for a smile, "What's up? Did you suddenly miss us?"

Adderkit woke up to the sound of Flickerkit's voice, and stretched slowly with a sigh. She looked up at Honeykit, who was poking her head *into* the nursery, as if she hadn't been there all along. Adderkit had noticed Honeykit leaving earlier recently, of course she had, but out of a combination of trust and knowledge that it wasn't her business, she hadn't mentioned it. But she itched with curiosity all the same, and couldn't help but finally ask. "Yeah, where have you been?" she meowed casually. Then a final wave of lingering sleepiness washed over her, and she yawned and shimmied over to Flickerkit to rest her head on his back in a way that allowed her to see Honeykit at the same time.

A fond smile grew on Honeykit’s face as her two siblings fell in the line of her sight. She was happy to see that the two were up and about and that she hadn’t woken them up, though even if they had still been asleep, she probably would have gone back down to rest with them. Her ears twitched as she picked up the confusion in Flickerkit’s voice as he spoke, asking about where she had been and it seemed Adderkit was curious as well. It was then that she realized, she hadn’t exactly told the two, not of course because she was trying to be secretive about it or anything, she had nothing at all to hide, especially from these two. However most of the time she had been going out, it was when her siblings were still asleep, or at least she had thought they were asleep. Not wanting to disturb them, she hadn’t woken them up to tell them. **”Oh! I was down at the medicine cat den with Hawkpatch.”** She purred, **”I told mother where I was going but you two were still sleeping so I didn’t want to bother you guys.”** She left it so that if the other two were curious as to what she was doing more specifically there at the medicine cat den, then they could ask, because she would be more than happy to let them know. **”I was wondering if you two wanted to go out to play!”** She smiled cheerfully, **”I wanted to ask earlier but again it seemed you two were still sleepy.”** Nothing could really beat playing with her littermates after all.

Flickerkit wriggled beneath Adderkit’s added weight and tried to fight off a giggle - the way that Adderkit had wriggled up to him and then onto him had been along his sensitive sides. He felt a lot more sober once she had migrated to the curl of his spine. He hadn’t been surprised at the action but slightly at the fact that it had been Adderkit rather than Honeykit. It wasn’t that odd, of course, with them being littermates but Adderkit was notorious for not being as welcoming towards others. So he was familiar with her physical touch and comfort but less so than with Honeykit. Although that had more to do with her warm personality - she wasn’t all that physically affectionate but bubbly and warm. It was partly why him and Adderkit caught on so well. He felt a little betrayed that Honeykit hadn’t told him - *either* of the, where she had gone. Still, she had her reasons, didn’t she? “Did you get sick?” He’d have kept her company then, maybe she’d have appreciated it. He hadn’t known Honeykit to get spontaneously sick like he did with his nosebleeds, but there was a first time for everything. “You could have woken one of us up,” His reprimand is accented with a frown, more out of misguided sadness at the lack of trust. “Hm? Oh, what kind of game?” He turned his head enough to ensure that the question was directed towards Adderkit on his back as well.

Adderkit blinked at Honeykit in understanding. It had always occurred to her that her sister didn't seem to be warrior material - not in a bad way, of course, but she couldn't picture Honeykit hurting *anyone.* It just made sense. She had a feeling Honeykit would take the medicine cat route. A part of her had always known that. "Are you training with Hawkpatch?" she whispered almost conspiratorily. Admittedly, Adderkit was jealous if so. That meant Honeykit would get a head start on her training, and her and Flickerkit would be behind! Then again, she'd once heard that medicine cats were apprentices for much longer...

"I'll play a game," Adderkit purred. "Sounds fun."

Honeykit swayed back and forth on her paws as she stood, as if she just couldn’t quite stay still. She was glad that Flickerkit seemed to take an interest in why she had specifically been at the medicine cat den. It was just recently that she had truly decided that she wanted to become a medicine cat, not too long ago she had had doubts about it, not sure if she was truly up to the job or not. However, once she had, had a proper conversation with Hawkpatch, she had made her decision. So, she had been trying to find the right moment to bring it up with her siblings. With that all said it didn’t necessary mean she was sure to become one, since it was up to Hawkpatch if he would take her as his apprentice or not. **”Oh no I wasn’t sick.”** She started, though quickly noticed the frown on Flickerkit’s face as he spoke. Had she upset him but not waking him up? That hadn’t been her intentional at all. **”I’m sorry, you two always looked really peaceful so I thought it’d be wrong to disturb you.”** She mewed looking down at her paws, feeling a stab in her gut at the thought of having made her brother upset. **”I can wake you up next time if you’d like?”**
Looking back up she then began to open her mouth once more to properly explain what she was doing in the medicine cat den but it seemed like Adderkit beat her to the punch. Honeykit didn’t even try to hide the surprise on her face, **”How’d you know??”** She asked looking quite baffled. Had her sister read her mind?? **”Adderkit is right though, I’ve been studying some of the herbs with Hawkpatch recently.”** She paused as an eager smile formed on her face. **”I think I want to train to become a medicine cat! Though in the end I guess it’s up to Hawkpatch.”** Once this mattered had been addressed she then turned back to the topic of what they were going to play. **”We could play tag!”** She suggested, which wasn’t really a surprised, since tag was her favourite, most likely because she was very good at it. Being swift and light on her paws really helped in a game of running after all. **”But I don’t mind if you two would rather do something else.”**

Flickerkit crouched a little deeper into the nest to accommodate for the added weight of Adderkit’s skull along his back. It wasn’t an uncomfortable weight but she was rather *bony*. Although he was fairly expressive, he did try to keep his facial reaction under wraps. Perhaps he hadn’t been as efficient as he could have been and he did tense all the same. He wasn’t exactly bitter that they were close, as sisters tended to be, but they often unwittingly left him out of the loop. He wouldn’t have even *considered* that Honeykit wanted to train as a medicine cat - but Adderkit *did*. No, he wasn’t bitter about it, not at all, but it stung all the same. *They’re closer to each other than Ill ever be to them,* but the thought is brushed aside murkily. However, being more expressive also meant that he was more emotional, so it was with a warm voice that he retorted, “You’re not *supposed* to! That’s - that’s cheating! Kits aren’t allowed outside, or - or hunting, and I think it’d include getting taught too.” His whiskers twitched in concern and perhaps there had been a selfishness behind his words but if kits about to become warrior apprentices weren’t allowed to do that, what gave her that right? He shoved his face into the moss bedding and felt bad about all of it. “S’doesn’t matter. Next time, we’ll be apprentices and you won’t even be in the same den as us.” He hadn’t known he’d be a warrior apprentice - he hadn’t known there’d been a *choice*, and here Honeykit was - she made hers and it would distance her from them.
It wouldn’t be anything personal and although she would try, she would be distant. She would commune with the Dark Forest and have secrets that she mustn’t tell them - to become a high rank was different than to be a warrior. He saw how the camp was - there was respect in the role, yes, but ... they were different. Bluestripe and Hornetmoon were unapproachable because of it - an aura of superiority. She would not mean it, he knew, but things were different when a cat became a high rank. He sniffed and poked his eyes from the moss and flicked his ears as the underbrush jostled his nose. “Are we drawing sticks or did someone want to be it?” He didn’t like tag too much, as he was clumsier and heavier on his paws but hide’n’seek was no good because he had a sensitive nose and sneezed a lot. That didn’t leave very many games after that fact, though. “Oh, what d’you think, Adderkit?” He rose his spine slightly beneath the arch of her jaw to gather her attention. She might have fallen asleep! He couldn’t stop the giggle at the thought.

Adderkit's eyes snapped open wide. "What?! That's not fair!" Of course she was happy for Honeykit, but every ounce of her tiny kit body longed to be training too. She wanted to go out and do things, and Honeykit was nearly doing just that. She flexed her claws into the nest jealously. "Flickerkit is right," she pouted. Her fur slightly stood up on end at his next words. "M-me and Flickerkit are gonna have to sleep without you," she mewed softly, snuggling closer to her brother. She understood all the other implications that came with that as well, that likely they wouldn't have time to be together without one of them being hurt, and likely that all three of them would never be able to play together again after they became apprentices. Older cats didn't play together, but... but they did talk... and share tongues, didn't they? Would they have to leave Honeykit behind? Or would she be the one leaving them behind?

Adderkit shook her head vigorously. They were together now, that was what mattered. It didn't stop the darkness from squeezing her heart, but she ignored it. "Tag sounds fun," she said, voice slightly gloomy now.

Honeykit giggled a bit at both of her siblings protests to her getting some early training in, **”Well it’s not like it’s set in stone yet that I’ll actually become one yet.”** She purred, **”But the way I see it, I feel like if I want to have a proper shot at becoming a good medicine cat, then I need to start working hard and there is no time like the present after all!”** Her eyes looked very determined as spoke. If she had a task to do, or something she wanted to accomplish, Honeykit was very diligent in working towards this goal. Normally she was pretty passive in the way she chose her life’s path, generally going with the flow, which is why the thought of becoming a medicine cat hadn’t even occurred to her before now. So, this was quite a good first step for her, in deciding on her own to diverge from the path of her siblings and choosing to become a medicine cat apprentice instead. This didn’t mean she wanted to separate herself from her siblings, in fact it was quite the opposite, the way she saw it, if she became a medicine cat then she’d be able to help her siblings if they ever became injured. **”Drawing sticks would probably be the fairest way to do it.”** Honeykit nodded in reply to Flickerkit.

Honeykit’s nonchalance rubbed him the wrong way, and although he saw some of the truth behind her words ... it didn’t .. it wasn’t *fair*. His hackles rose in muted jealousy and hostility and not even Adderkit’s agreeing comment soothed him. He did lean further back against her, though, as if that might absolve him of his childish behaviour. “What are you so *afraid* of? Someone going to steal your rank? You don’t have to train - it’s stupid! You’re a *kit*, and kits don’t - they don’t *train*. Nobody is taking it away from you, Adderkit isn’t, I’m not. You don’t have to - to do that. I can - I can understand why you want to - I want to train too, but - you’re picking training over us! You’re going to be different from us and you - you leaving us to go train, when *you’ll be doing that as soon as we’re old enough anyways* - that’s just ... you’re picking growing up and training over us. You have moons to do that and you’re ... we’ll .... only be kits for a while longer ... Nice to know what’s important to you!” The back of his throat burned and although he didn’t like to drop everything on his siblings, he also didn’t like to be pushed aside. He didn’t *understand* why she wanted to pull herself away from them like that. She might not see it as that but - she was. It would have been different if sh3 had told them but ... putting aside time to train when she wasn’t even old enough - wow, their medicine cat was smart - over spending time with her littermates ... it hurt. Flickerkit wasnt one to sit idly by, either, and although he was melodramatic and over the top and rightfully earned him a barest nod of acknowledgement from others because they pegged it as how he was and brushed his words aside, he also had the tendency to speak the *truth*.
Although he was melodramatic it was mostly rooted to the fact that he felt things strongly and it struck too close to home all the time. Still, he wasn’t so heartless as to deny Honeykit the right to play with him - or vouch for Adderkit’s own choice in the matter - so he only turned his head into Adderkit’s shoulder and sighed heavily. His voice was wet and heavy next time he spoke and he denied that his shoulders shook but he spoke lamely, “Are we - still going to do that .. thing where we don’t reveal it until we all have one? Anyone know where any sticks are?” He had a couple feathers and was one short of the three needed but it could have been used as a last resort - he could just nip one or something and turned the quill part up and have them drawn. Sticks, however, would be easier to find. Probably.

Adderkit sighed softly and licked her brother's ear gently. She understood where he was coming from but... fighting about it wouldn't accomplish anything. She said nothing, deciding that distracting was better. With a nod, Adderkit said "Yeah, that's my favorite way to do it. I made Batpaw get us sticks when he was on patrol last time, so we have some." She looked between her two siblings, hoping they would just accept that and stop the argument before it blew up.

It was clear to see the look of plain shock and hurt written on Honeykit’s face, she had been really excited about sharing her future dreams/ambitions with her siblings and the response she had gotten seemed anything but welcoming. She could see the hostility in Flickerkit’s words but could not understand what he was so upset about, just because she wanted to work hard on something she thought was important to her? Was it because she didn’t want to become a warrior? Or because for once she had to do something on her own terms? That and she was taking a step to not being so reliant on everyone around her, to guide her own way in life?There was nothing more important to her than her family, and that was one of the reason she wanted to become a medicine cat, because then she could help them and not feel so useless anymore. It was clear in her eyes that Adderkit and Flickerkit would become great warriors, it just seemed to suit them so well. Honestly these thoughts had made Honeykit feel a little uncertain about herself, because she couldn’t imagine being able to compare with them… The thought had left her scared that they would both leave her behind. So, when the idea of becoming a medicine cat occurred to her, she thought she finally might have a chance to stand on equal footing with them and that way she could continue to walk with her siblings, not feeling like she was being a burden on them. Perhaps that was why she was rushing to start getting in training, so she wouldn’t feel left behind. Clearly, they didn’t see it that way though. It was that thought that probably stung the most for Honeykit.

Her mouth opened as if to say something but the colour drained from her face at the thought of confronting her brother. Her eyes slowly drifted down to her paws. What if what she said only make it worse? What if- What if…. Her checks felt hot and she could the familiar feeling of tears threating to well up in her eyes, there was nothing more than she wanted to do right now then leave. Run. Get away. However, she was rooted to the spot and something in the back of her mind warned her that might be a bad idea anyways. Slowly closing her mouth once more she fell into an uncomfortable silence and fought back the desire to cry. She got upset about a lot of things, but the fact that it was own brother that had lashed out at her made it all the worst, her stomach squirmed uncomfortably and she felt the urge to be sick. Somehow to manage to compose herself and as she looked back up only a sad, weak smile resided on her face and the obvious redness around her eyes, that showed how much she wanted to cry. **”Yeah… Let’s do that…”** She trailed off, all the eagerness and energy from before had left her voice.

Flickerkit pressed his nose harder into Adderkit’s shoulder. He felt like his brown-furred sister understood him more. By the sounds of it, or lack thereof, Honeykit had no excuse. She couldn’t defend her actions. She couldn’t defend her *selfishness*. She was kind and generous but she had always put them second, and not anyways Adderkit because Adderkit was obviously her favourite but Flickerkit had let himself be brushed aside easily enough. It had been pent up resentment that had snapped inside of him, hot and ugly. He might have described to her plainly and with a gentler tone in any other circumstance but it was not any other circumstance. Her choice still made him feel heated and disgusting, a grotesque creature for thinking this way. Adderkit had never made him feel like that. She could be rude and mean and she sometimes had a smart mouth but it never seemed to be directed to him, not intentionally. It was the fact that his kinder, gentler, pacifist of a sister was the one who had made the choice to be colder. He knew that perhaps it was just him blowing it out of proportion but he couldn’t deny how he felt, but he had no one to vent to, to explain the utter sense of destructive betrayal that was ingrained into his chest. Not even Adderkit because he felt like she might have taken Honeykit’s side. He knew that was unjustly pitted himself against her but was she so *daft*, so *conceited* as to not tell them, or to - to never explain herself? He heard Honeykit sniffle and in response he practically became a part of Adderkit. She was *crying?* Or close to. That didn’t make him feel as guilty as he expected, although it did press coolly against the back of his heart. It just made him think even more that she was so focused on herself and not enough on her family. If all she-cats cried as much as her, he’d very much rather instead spend his time with she-cats like Adderkit. Pity that they were siblings. Brindleflare had been quick to shut down that talk.
“D’you know where they are?” He mumbled into Adderkit’s shoulder with a sniff of his own. Horror sparked inside of him. He never ever cried! He did not intend to start! Not because of Honeykit. He curled himself around the arch of Adderkit’s back and hoped that she wouldn’t have to get up to get to the sticks.

Adderkit sank her claws into the bedding below. She didn't really feel like playing anymore, this was... a bit much for her. She opened her mouth to speak but no noise came out. As she inhaled sharply through her mouth, she felt her breath waver. She wasn't about to cry; not once in her whole life had she cried, but she was upset regardless. This shouldn't have been happening. Her siblings weren't supposed to fight... Quietly, Adderkit asked "Are you sure you guys wanna play still?"

It made it even tougher when she saw even Adderkit was clearly getting upset about what was happening, because Honeykit rarely saw her upset like this. **”I’m not sure…”** Honeykit said slowly, as her eyes turned to look towards the ground again, **”But I was the one who suggested it, so I still plan on playing if you two do.”**

Flickerkit felt the subtle changes in Adderkit’s posture, the pull of her muscles with unease and the way she shifted. Even the tone of her breathing had changed. He was certain that it didn’t mean that he was in tune with her but rather due to the fact that he was practically on top of her, but the former was a much more comforting thought. He could be brave! For her. Not for Honeykit because she could eat dung for all he cared. At the moment, anyways, because chances were later their mother would get him to apologize. He would refuse because at the moment he doesn’t feel very sorry at all, so perhaps it was a good thing that their mother wasn’t here to scold him for it. Which she would have because nobody *ever* messed with her *precious little baby*. However, guilt still swam like a devil in unease at the bottom of his gut. Perhaps he *would* apologize later - just not now, not when he thinks he’ll snap at her again. Regardless, he felt the need to be the bigger kit for *Adderkit* Because her unease was very apparent - again because he was atop of her but hey, he’d really really hope that it would one day be because he knew her inside and out. But Honeykit’s bland response made him want to crack his own head against something until he suffered from blunt force trauma and couldn’t remember what she looked like. Of course, later, he would recall that perhaps this was because he felt scorned and replaced by something that could not love nor hold her and he had difficulties in his expression of that, but in that moment, he felt like he disliked her very much.
Any other time he would have brushed her comment off - it hadn’t been the first - but at that time a single thought was confirmed: she was an airhead. If she was so flighty as to be unaware of the implications of either of her *siblings* confirmations, then how could she cope as a medicine cat with *strangers*? “If you want me off, just say so,” his voice is a hoarse scratch as he meowed to Adderkit. He did move so that he was less off and more pressed against her flank though, and he did offer an affectionate nuzzle at the area where her shoulder met her neck. “‘M still don’t know where the sticks are, though.” He ignored Honeykit for the moment because he had nothing more to say to her. Also because her blatant disregard for their compliance was hurtful. He would never turn down a game, irregardless of how many of them were crying. It didn’t help soothe the wounds but it would be a good placebo effect.

For a second, Adderkit hesitated. Then she nuzzled Flickerkit and slowly stood, wandering to a corner in the nursery they rarely ventured into. She picked up her bundle of sticks and brought them back over, placing them in front of her siblings. She remained silent and somber, looking between both of her siblings.

(Le fin)

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Honeykit wondered out of the medicine cat den a little disappointed she had been chased out, it seemed that while Hawkpatch didn’t mind her interest in what he did, he didn’t really appreciate being bombarded with one question after another and needed a break once in a while. Since there were so many interesting things to learn, it meant Honeykit had a lot of things to ask, but she probably a little too eager in her pursuit of knowledge. No that, that was necessarily a bad thing. Her ears perked up as she decided to go and see if her siblings were up from their nap yet, lately she had been waking up earlier in order to go visit Hawkpatch in his den. Her paws took her back over to where the nursery was, it was pretty roomy in there because there weren’t really many nursing queens, which also meant there weren’t really any other kits for the trio to play with. Which make it lucky that they had each other. **”Adderkit? Flickerkit?”** She whispered as she entered, **”Are you guys up?”** Trying to not be too loud if they were still sleeping.

Flickerkit had spent much of the early afternoon with a nap as was instructed by Brindleflare. As all kits do when they grew older, it was harder and harder for him to sleep mid-day. Still, he had hit the moss like a brick and slept peacefully - he had fitful dreams the past few nights and had kicked out enough that their mother pushed him to the other side lest he kick one of his littermates awake. He didn't, or at least he hoped not as they hadn't mentioned anything to him as of yet. Of course, this short reprieve was likewise as short-lived because he woke up with his face bloody and paws likewise tacky with blood - not runny nor congealed and his nose was still sore enough for him to know that it had only recently slowed - not quite outright stopped so he stepped aside and pressed his paws to his maw until it did exactly that. Another nursing queen who had borne a small litter only recently - alas, too small for him to play with, even now - helped him clean himself up and the only proof left was his sore nose and the fact that he wrinkled the fur along his muzzle in distaste. So he was very much up - although perhaps a little moodily - when his other sister poked her head in. He blinked in surprise at her and tried to fight off another wrinkle along his muzzle. "Mhmmm," he responded, even though it wasn't much of a response at all. "What're *you* doing up already?" he hadn't noticed it, admittedly, as he had spent a good portion either getting fussed over or trying to sleep again. His words were uttered in confusion rather than stern adherence.
He *did* notice that she scampered off a few times too many and he had never been particularly close with either of them - Honeykit and Adderkit stuck together like glue and ... more often than not left him out of anything good. And, admittedly, everything else. It seemed more accidental than anything else so he tried to push it from his thoughts - but it became even more apparent when Honeykit had poked her head in. He hadn't *known* where she had gone whereas Adderkit likely would have. He frowned then tried for a smile, "What's up? Did you suddenly miss us?"

Adderkit woke up to the sound of Flickerkit's voice, and stretched slowly with a sigh. She looked up at Honeykit, who was poking her head *into* the nursery, as if she hadn't been there all along. Adderkit had noticed Honeykit leaving earlier recently, of course she had, but out of a combination of trust and knowledge that it wasn't her business, she hadn't mentioned it. But she itched with curiosity all the same, and couldn't help but finally ask. "Yeah, where have you been?" she meowed casually. Then a final wave of lingering sleepiness washed over her, and she yawned and shimmied over to Flickerkit to rest her head on his back in a way that allowed her to see Honeykit at the same time.

A fond smile grew on Honeykit’s face as her two siblings fell in the line of her sight. She was happy to see that the two were up and about and that she hadn’t woken them up, though even if they had still been asleep, she probably would have gone back down to rest with them. Her ears twitched as she picked up the confusion in Flickerkit’s voice as he spoke, asking about where she had been and it seemed Adderkit was curious as well. It was then that she realized, she hadn’t exactly told the two, not of course because she was trying to be secretive about it or anything, she had nothing at all to hide, especially from these two. However most of the time she had been going out, it was when her siblings were still asleep, or at least she had thought they were asleep. Not wanting to disturb them, she hadn’t woken them up to tell them. **”Oh! I was down at the medicine cat den with Hawkpatch.”** She purred, **”I told mother where I was going but you two were still sleeping so I didn’t want to bother you guys.”** She left it so that if the other two were curious as to what she was doing more specifically there at the medicine cat den, then they could ask, because she would be more than happy to let them know. **”I was wondering if you two wanted to go out to play!”** She smiled cheerfully, **”I wanted to ask earlier but again it seemed you two were still sleepy.”** Nothing could really beat playing with her littermates after all.

Flickerkit wriggled beneath Adderkit’s added weight and tried to fight off a giggle - the way that Adderkit had wriggled up to him and then onto him had been along his sensitive sides. He felt a lot more sober once she had migrated to the curl of his spine. He hadn’t been surprised at the action but slightly at the fact that it had been Adderkit rather than Honeykit. It wasn’t that odd, of course, with them being littermates but Adderkit was notorious for not being as welcoming towards others. So he was familiar with her physical touch and comfort but less so than with Honeykit. Although that had more to do with her warm personality - she wasn’t all that physically affectionate but bubbly and warm. It was partly why him and Adderkit caught on so well. He felt a little betrayed that Honeykit hadn’t told him - *either* of the, where she had gone. Still, she had her reasons, didn’t she? “Did you get sick?” He’d have kept her company then, maybe she’d have appreciated it. He hadn’t known Honeykit to get spontaneously sick like he did with his nosebleeds, but there was a first time for everything. “You could have woken one of us up,” His reprimand is accented with a frown, more out of misguided sadness at the lack of trust. “Hm? Oh, what kind of game?” He turned his head enough to ensure that the question was directed towards Adderkit on his back as well.

Adderkit blinked at Honeykit in understanding. It had always occurred to her that her sister didn't seem to be warrior material - not in a bad way, of course, but she couldn't picture Honeykit hurting *anyone.* It just made sense. She had a feeling Honeykit would take the medicine cat route. A part of her had always known that. "Are you training with Hawkpatch?" she whispered almost conspiratorily. Admittedly, Adderkit was jealous if so. That meant Honeykit would get a head start on her training, and her and Flickerkit would be behind! Then again, she'd once heard that medicine cats were apprentices for much longer...

"I'll play a game," Adderkit purred. "Sounds fun."

Honeykit swayed back and forth on her paws as she stood, as if she just couldn’t quite stay still. She was glad that Flickerkit seemed to take an interest in why she had specifically been at the medicine cat den. It was just recently that she had truly decided that she wanted to become a medicine cat, not too long ago she had had doubts about it, not sure if she was truly up to the job or not. However, once she had, had a proper conversation with Hawkpatch, she had made her decision. So, she had been trying to find the right moment to bring it up with her siblings. With that all said it didn’t necessary mean she was sure to become one, since it was up to Hawkpatch if he would take her as his apprentice or not. **”Oh no I wasn’t sick.”** She started, though quickly noticed the frown on Flickerkit’s face as he spoke. Had she upset him but not waking him up? That hadn’t been her intentional at all. **”I’m sorry, you two always looked really peaceful so I thought it’d be wrong to disturb you.”** She mewed looking down at her paws, feeling a stab in her gut at the thought of having made her brother upset. **”I can wake you up next time if you’d like?”**
Looking back up she then began to open her mouth once more to properly explain what she was doing in the medicine cat den but it seemed like Adderkit beat her to the punch. Honeykit didn’t even try to hide the surprise on her face, **”How’d you know??”** She asked looking quite baffled. Had her sister read her mind?? **”Adderkit is right though, I’ve been studying some of the herbs with Hawkpatch recently.”** She paused as an eager smile formed on her face. **”I think I want to train to become a medicine cat! Though in the end I guess it’s up to Hawkpatch.”** Once this mattered had been addressed she then turned back to the topic of what they were going to play. **”We could play tag!”** She suggested, which wasn’t really a surprised, since tag was her favourite, most likely because she was very good at it. Being swift and light on her paws really helped in a game of running after all. **”But I don’t mind if you two would rather do something else.”**

Flickerkit crouched a little deeper into the nest to accommodate for the added weight of Adderkit’s skull along his back. It wasn’t an uncomfortable weight but she was rather *bony*. Although he was fairly expressive, he did try to keep his facial reaction under wraps. Perhaps he hadn’t been as efficient as he could have been and he did tense all the same. He wasn’t exactly bitter that they were close, as sisters tended to be, but they often unwittingly left him out of the loop. He wouldn’t have even *considered* that Honeykit wanted to train as a medicine cat - but Adderkit *did*. No, he wasn’t bitter about it, not at all, but it stung all the same. *They’re closer to each other than Ill ever be to them,* but the thought is brushed aside murkily. However, being more expressive also meant that he was more emotional, so it was with a warm voice that he retorted, “You’re not *supposed* to! That’s - that’s cheating! Kits aren’t allowed outside, or - or hunting, and I think it’d include getting taught too.” His whiskers twitched in concern and perhaps there had been a selfishness behind his words but if kits about to become warrior apprentices weren’t allowed to do that, what gave her that right? He shoved his face into the moss bedding and felt bad about all of it. “S’doesn’t matter. Next time, we’ll be apprentices and you won’t even be in the same den as us.” He hadn’t known he’d be a warrior apprentice - he hadn’t known there’d been a *choice*, and here Honeykit was - she made hers and it would distance her from them.
It wouldn’t be anything personal and although she would try, she would be distant. She would commune with the Dark Forest and have secrets that she mustn’t tell them - to become a high rank was different than to be a warrior. He saw how the camp was - there was respect in the role, yes, but ... they were different. Bluestripe and Hornetmoon were unapproachable because of it - an aura of superiority. She would not mean it, he knew, but things were different when a cat became a high rank. He sniffed and poked his eyes from the moss and flicked his ears as the underbrush jostled his nose. “Are we drawing sticks or did someone want to be it?” He didn’t like tag too much, as he was clumsier and heavier on his paws but hide’n’seek was no good because he had a sensitive nose and sneezed a lot. That didn’t leave very many games after that fact, though. “Oh, what d’you think, Adderkit?” He rose his spine slightly beneath the arch of her jaw to gather her attention. She might have fallen asleep! He couldn’t stop the giggle at the thought.

Adderkit's eyes snapped open wide. "What?! That's not fair!" Of course she was happy for Honeykit, but every ounce of her tiny kit body longed to be training too. She wanted to go out and do things, and Honeykit was nearly doing just that. She flexed her claws into the nest jealously. "Flickerkit is right," she pouted. Her fur slightly stood up on end at his next words. "M-me and Flickerkit are gonna have to sleep without you," she mewed softly, snuggling closer to her brother. She understood all the other implications that came with that as well, that likely they wouldn't have time to be together without one of them being hurt, and likely that all three of them would never be able to play together again after they became apprentices. Older cats didn't play together, but... but they did talk... and share tongues, didn't they? Would they have to leave Honeykit behind? Or would she be the one leaving them behind?

Adderkit shook her head vigorously. They were together now, that was what mattered. It didn't stop the darkness from squeezing her heart, but she ignored it. "Tag sounds fun," she said, voice slightly gloomy now.

Honeykit giggled a bit at both of her siblings protests to her getting some early training in, **”Well it’s not like it’s set in stone yet that I’ll actually become one yet.”** She purred, **”But the way I see it, I feel like if I want to have a proper shot at becoming a good medicine cat, then I need to start working hard and there is no time like the present after all!”** Her eyes looked very determined as spoke. If she had a task to do, or something she wanted to accomplish, Honeykit was very diligent in working towards this goal. Normally she was pretty passive in the way she chose her life’s path, generally going with the flow, which is why the thought of becoming a medicine cat hadn’t even occurred to her before now. So, this was quite a good first step for her, in deciding on her own to diverge from the path of her siblings and choosing to become a medicine cat apprentice instead. This didn’t mean she wanted to separate herself from her siblings, in fact it was quite the opposite, the way she saw it, if she became a medicine cat then she’d be able to help her siblings if they ever became injured. **”Drawing sticks would probably be the fairest way to do it.”** Honeykit nodded in reply to Flickerkit.

Honeykit’s nonchalance rubbed him the wrong way, and although he saw some of the truth behind her words ... it didn’t .. it wasn’t *fair*. His hackles rose in muted jealousy and hostility and not even Adderkit’s agreeing comment soothed him. He did lean further back against her, though, as if that might absolve him of his childish behaviour. “What are you so *afraid* of? Someone going to steal your rank? You don’t have to train - it’s stupid! You’re a *kit*, and kits don’t - they don’t *train*. Nobody is taking it away from you, Adderkit isn’t, I’m not. You don’t have to - to do that. I can - I can understand why you want to - I want to train too, but - you’re picking training over us! You’re going to be different from us and you - you leaving us to go train, when *you’ll be doing that as soon as we’re old enough anyways* - that’s just ... you’re picking growing up and training over us. You have moons to do that and you’re ... we’ll .... only be kits for a while longer ... Nice to know what’s important to you!” The back of his throat burned and although he didn’t like to drop everything on his siblings, he also didn’t like to be pushed aside. He didn’t *understand* why she wanted to pull herself away from them like that. She might not see it as that but - she was. It would have been different if sh3 had told them but ... putting aside time to train when she wasn’t even old enough - wow, their medicine cat was smart - over spending time with her littermates ... it hurt. Flickerkit wasnt one to sit idly by, either, and although he was melodramatic and over the top and rightfully earned him a barest nod of acknowledgement from others because they pegged it as how he was and brushed his words aside, he also had the tendency to speak the *truth*.
Although he was melodramatic it was mostly rooted to the fact that he felt things strongly and it struck too close to home all the time. Still, he wasn’t so heartless as to deny Honeykit the right to play with him - or vouch for Adderkit’s own choice in the matter - so he only turned his head into Adderkit’s shoulder and sighed heavily. His voice was wet and heavy next time he spoke and he denied that his shoulders shook but he spoke lamely, “Are we - still going to do that .. thing where we don’t reveal it until we all have one? Anyone know where any sticks are?” He had a couple feathers and was one short of the three needed but it could have been used as a last resort - he could just nip one or something and turned the quill part up and have them drawn. Sticks, however, would be easier to find. Probably.

Adderkit sighed softly and licked her brother's ear gently. She understood where he was coming from but... fighting about it wouldn't accomplish anything. She said nothing, deciding that distracting was better. With a nod, Adderkit said "Yeah, that's my favorite way to do it. I made Batpaw get us sticks when he was on patrol last time, so we have some." She looked between her two siblings, hoping they would just accept that and stop the argument before it blew up.

It was clear to see the look of plain shock and hurt written on Honeykit’s face, she had been really excited about sharing her future dreams/ambitions with her siblings and the response she had gotten seemed anything but welcoming. She could see the hostility in Flickerkit’s words but could not understand what he was so upset about, just because she wanted to work hard on something she thought was important to her? Was it because she didn’t want to become a warrior? Or because for once she had to do something on her own terms? That and she was taking a step to not being so reliant on everyone around her, to guide her own way in life?There was nothing more important to her than her family, and that was one of the reason she wanted to become a medicine cat, because then she could help them and not feel so useless anymore. It was clear in her eyes that Adderkit and Flickerkit would become great warriors, it just seemed to suit them so well. Honestly these thoughts had made Honeykit feel a little uncertain about herself, because she couldn’t imagine being able to compare with them… The thought had left her scared that they would both leave her behind. So, when the idea of becoming a medicine cat occurred to her, she thought she finally might have a chance to stand on equal footing with them and that way she could continue to walk with her siblings, not feeling like she was being a burden on them. Perhaps that was why she was rushing to start getting in training, so she wouldn’t feel left behind. Clearly, they didn’t see it that way though. It was that thought that probably stung the most for Honeykit.

Her mouth opened as if to say something but the colour drained from her face at the thought of confronting her brother. Her eyes slowly drifted down to her paws. What if what she said only make it worse? What if- What if…. Her checks felt hot and she could the familiar feeling of tears threating to well up in her eyes, there was nothing more than she wanted to do right now then leave. Run. Get away. However, she was rooted to the spot and something in the back of her mind warned her that might be a bad idea anyways. Slowly closing her mouth once more she fell into an uncomfortable silence and fought back the desire to cry. She got upset about a lot of things, but the fact that it was own brother that had lashed out at her made it all the worst, her stomach squirmed uncomfortably and she felt the urge to be sick. Somehow to manage to compose herself and as she looked back up only a sad, weak smile resided on her face and the obvious redness around her eyes, that showed how much she wanted to cry. **”Yeah… Let’s do that…”** She trailed off, all the eagerness and energy from before had left her voice.

Flickerkit pressed his nose harder into Adderkit’s shoulder. He felt like his brown-furred sister understood him more. By the sounds of it, or lack thereof, Honeykit had no excuse. She couldn’t defend her actions. She couldn’t defend her *selfishness*. She was kind and generous but she had always put them second, and not anyways Adderkit because Adderkit was obviously her favourite but Flickerkit had let himself be brushed aside easily enough. It had been pent up resentment that had snapped inside of him, hot and ugly. He might have described to her plainly and with a gentler tone in any other circumstance but it was not any other circumstance. Her choice still made him feel heated and disgusting, a grotesque creature for thinking this way. Adderkit had never made him feel like that. She could be rude and mean and she sometimes had a smart mouth but it never seemed to be directed to him, not intentionally. It was the fact that his kinder, gentler, pacifist of a sister was the one who had made the choice to be colder. He knew that perhaps it was just him blowing it out of proportion but he couldn’t deny how he felt, but he had no one to vent to, to explain the utter sense of destructive betrayal that was ingrained into his chest. Not even Adderkit because he felt like she might have taken Honeykit’s side. He knew that was unjustly pitted himself against her but was she so *daft*, so *conceited* as to not tell them, or to - to never explain herself? He heard Honeykit sniffle and in response he practically became a part of Adderkit. She was *crying?* Or close to. That didn’t make him feel as guilty as he expected, although it did press coolly against the back of his heart. It just made him think even more that she was so focused on herself and not enough on her family. If all she-cats cried as much as her, he’d very much rather instead spend his time with she-cats like Adderkit. Pity that they were siblings. Brindleflare had been quick to shut down that talk.
“D’you know where they are?” He mumbled into Adderkit’s shoulder with a sniff of his own. Horror sparked inside of him. He never ever cried! He did not intend to start! Not because of Honeykit. He curled himself around the arch of Adderkit’s back and hoped that she wouldn’t have to get up to get to the sticks.

Adderkit sank her claws into the bedding below. She didn't really feel like playing anymore, this was... a bit much for her. She opened her mouth to speak but no noise came out. As she inhaled sharply through her mouth, she felt her breath waver. She wasn't about to cry; not once in her whole life had she cried, but she was upset regardless. This shouldn't have been happening. Her siblings weren't supposed to fight... Quietly, Adderkit asked "Are you sure you guys wanna play still?"

It made it even tougher when she saw even Adderkit was clearly getting upset about what was happening, because Honeykit rarely saw her upset like this. **”I’m not sure…”** Honeykit said slowly, as her eyes turned to look towards the ground again, **”But I was the one who suggested it, so I still plan on playing if you two do.”**

Flickerkit felt the subtle changes in Adderkit’s posture, the pull of her muscles with unease and the way she shifted. Even the tone of her breathing had changed. He was certain that it didn’t mean that he was in tune with her but rather due to the fact that he was practically on top of her, but the former was a much more comforting thought. He could be brave! For her. Not for Honeykit because she could eat dung for all he cared. At the moment, anyways, because chances were later their mother would get him to apologize. He would refuse because at the moment he doesn’t feel very sorry at all, so perhaps it was a good thing that their mother wasn’t here to scold him for it. Which she would have because nobody *ever* messed with her *precious little baby*. However, guilt still swam like a devil in unease at the bottom of his gut. Perhaps he *would* apologize later - just not now, not when he thinks he’ll snap at her again. Regardless, he felt the need to be the bigger kit for *Adderkit* Because her unease was very apparent - again because he was atop of her but hey, he’d really really hope that it would one day be because he knew her inside and out. But Honeykit’s bland response made him want to crack his own head against something until he suffered from blunt force trauma and couldn’t remember what she looked like. Of course, later, he would recall that perhaps this was because he felt scorned and replaced by something that could not love nor hold her and he had difficulties in his expression of that, but in that moment, he felt like he disliked her very much.
Any other time he would have brushed her comment off - it hadn’t been the first - but at that time a single thought was confirmed: she was an airhead. If she was so flighty as to be unaware of the implications of either of her *siblings* confirmations, then how could she cope as a medicine cat with *strangers*? “If you want me off, just say so,” his voice is a hoarse scratch as he meowed to Adderkit. He did move so that he was less off and more pressed against her flank though, and he did offer an affectionate nuzzle at the area where her shoulder met her neck. “‘M still don’t know where the sticks are, though.” He ignored Honeykit for the moment because he had nothing more to say to her. Also because her blatant disregard for their compliance was hurtful. He would never turn down a game, irregardless of how many of them were crying. It didn’t help soothe the wounds but it would be a good placebo effect.

For a second, Adderkit hesitated. Then she nuzzled Flickerkit and slowly stood, wandering to a corner in the nursery they rarely ventured into. She picked up her bundle of sticks and brought them back over, placing them in front of her siblings. She remained silent and somber, looking between both of her siblings.

(Le fin)