HOME | DD

Description
body div#devskin0 hr { }

You rest your palms against the counter top, blowing a strand of your (h/c) hair out of your face. Today is boring, you think. You grab a lock of your hair and run it through your fingers.

Perhaps I could.. No. You shake your head and clear it of those thoughts. No. You decided that you won't watch any more YouTube videos for a while; you've already went through PewDiePie and RPGMinx's videos and was just waiting for Cryaotic to update with his newest video, which was supposed to be today. Probably.

You tug at your teal uniform and adjust your name tag. Yes, you were an avid fan of YouTubers. While you liked and disliked some, you would probably have to say that Cryaotic was your recent favorite. You had started getting into his videos over a year ago and watched the majority of them when you weren't working at the local game store in Florida.

While you liked watching their videos, you couldn't really say that you liked to create your own videos. You decided to leave that to the professionals, so to speak.

The faint sound of the door opening makes you snap out of your thoughts. You turn towards the door and manage a smile. "Hello, let me know if I can assist you with anything," you say over the counters.

"Kay," came a brief reply before the person ducks down behind some of the game shelves and checks them over.

After a customer pays for their games, it's only you, the guy who just walked in, and two others. It was a fairly quiet day. You sigh and lean back on your heels, pressing your hands behind your back while you look around the store. You could spot your favorite games, of which you owned an original and a special edition of, and a few others games that didn't interest you.

"Excuse me," came a deep voice from across the counter. You stumble, loosing your footing in surprise before catching yourself. You stare across the glass counter and notice a tall, lanky guy with Floridan tanned skin, slightly tousled although curly hair and a soft smile. Pale blue eyes shine at you from behind his glasses.

"Yes?" You ask, leaning forward slightly.

The man, who couldn't have been more than twenty five, cleared his throat and offers you a smile. "Yeah, hi, I was wondering if the newest Amnesia game arrived yet?"

You chew your bottom lip, putting your hands on your hips as your roll your (e/c) eyes to the ceiling. "Er," you begin then falter. "No, I don't think so. Do you want to pre-order it?"

He hesitates then nods. "Yeah, that would be great. Thanks, friend." You smile and nod at him before turning towards the computer that sat next to the cash register.

"No problem," you say with a smile, clicking open the pre-order form and typing in the newest Amnesia game. "What's your name?"

A brief pause, "Ryan T."

"T?" You lift an eyebrow to look at him.

He shrugs nonchalantly. "Hey, friend, it's just some privacy thing that I do."

You nod then turn back to the computer. "Do you want me to phone you when it comes in or mail it to your address?"

Out of the corner of your eye, you notice him already shaking his head. "Nah. It's fine. I'll just come over every so often to see if it's here." He raises his eyebrows slightly. "If that's okay with you?"

You're already nodding, "Yeah. That's fine."

He flashes you a smile. "Thanks, (y/n)."

You stiffen in surprise and turn to him, eyes widening. "How--?" You begin to ask before his laughter interrupts you, a sound that seems familiar.

"You have a name tag."

"Oh. Right. Of course."

Ryan smiles at you and you return it, even if you do it with a bit of suspicion in your eyes. When he glances away to check out a game, you check your uniform and realize that yes, your name tag was there. When you look up, you notice him grinning at you in amusement. You flush and look away.

"Do you need anything else?"

"No, I'm good. Thanks. See you soon." He nods in your direction before stuffing his hands into the pockets of his green hoodie after he walks out the door.

You find yourself watching him leave, his laughter stuck in your head.

As it turns out, Ryan came by every week to check if his order came in. He asked you about what games you liked, which as it turned out, was similar to his. This had you two bonding over scenes that you recall and laughing like fools in the store.

Eventually, he asked you to co-op Portal with him to which you agreed and after that, as they say, was history.

Except it wasn't.

"Do you remember in Mad Father when --?"

"Yes!" You say, muffling your laughter behind the drink that you bought. At his expression you quickly sputter out, "Oh! Uh. Sorry. Wrong moment to laugh, I think." You manage a grin at him.

He relaxes and nods. "Yeah," he admits. "I think I understand what you mean, (y/n). Sometimes you try to make light of the situation even when it's way too serious."

"No," you say, thinking of when Cry played Mad Father and his horrified laughter during Ao Oni. "I mean, yes." You can't bring yourself to confess to Ryan about your slight obsession with watching Cry's videos. His expression is slightly confused and you flush with embarrassment. "Uh, sorry."

"No, it's fine."

You bring your cup to your lips and take a long sip. You wonder if Ryan watched any of the YouTuber's videos. The thought brings a smile to your face for some reason. At the sight of your smile, his own mouth quirks up in a small smile.

"What's so funny?" You demand to know.

"You've got.." He begins to say before laughing, causing you to flush deeply. "Oh, (y/n). I'm sorry you just -- you have frosting on your nose."

You glance down at your frosted drink in reflex then try to cross your eyes in growing horror, trying to spot the smudge along your nose. "Oh, um," you sputter out, reaching for a napkin.

"No, wait," he says, reaching out and grabbing onto your wrist. You freeze and slowly, with a horrified interest, you see him reach forward with his other hand and swipe at your nose gently before bringing it to his lips and licking it off his finger. "There, all clean, friend." He grins at you, a slight flush dotting along his ears.

You stare at him. You're admittedly torn between disgusted and in awe. "Oh," you manage out. "Thank you." You're sure that you're positively flushed by now. If anything, his smile widens.

Oh, you think, when he seems to realize that he's still holding your wrist. Oh. Ryan.. He mutters an apology and you insist it's okay.

When you get home that night, you are smiling like a dork. When you check Cryaotic's channel on YouTube, it seems like he feels as giddy as you do, because he seems kind of different. A good different that makes you grin all the wider. You swear you can hear the smile in Cry's laughter during his latest upload and when you go to sleep that night, it's with a smile.

"Hey, Cry. Cry!" Pewdie's voice rings through your speakers as you watch one of Cry's newest videos with Pewdie and the rest, playing Trouble in Terrorist Town. Cry was a traitor, and was chasing Minx around.

"What is it?" Comes that sweet angelic voice. You practically swoon.

"Do you remember?"

Everybody groans. You can barely contain your laughter. "..What?" Cry plays along, half distracted by dodging Ken's attempts at shooting at him.

"September."

Ken can audibly be heard laughing, while Pewdie guffaws and could be heard falling out of his chair.

"You know that you're the only one who makes me remember September, Pewds," Cry insists, but there's something off about his voice. You frown to yourself.

"PFF. Of course! That's our month, bro!" The conversation eventually turns to who was the traitor. As usual, everybody thought it was Minx. They turned against each other and killed off a few of the others. Minx was remarkably still alive.

"Hah!" She shouts when she kills Cry, and a sign of Innocents Win flash across the screen.

"Dammit, Cry! It was you?! I thought we were friends!" Pewdie wailed, his voice going above microphone level, causing a faint screeching noise. "Oh, sorry, bros."

"What? Oh, yeah, it was me. The terrorists couldn't resist me; they all wanted me to join them."

"...But you were the only terrorist? How could the other terrorists want you to join if it's just you?" Cry ends up laughing at their confusion. They chatter for a bit until the topic turns to the newest Amnesia game.

"Hey! Have you guys started your play 'Lets Play's of that newest Amnesia game yet?" Pewds asks, sounding distracted while the next round loads.

"Yeah. It seems pretty okay so far--"

"I haven't opened mine yet, I still have to finish--"

"It's been mailed out already?" Cry's voice cuts through, sounding irritated.

"Yeah.." It's Ken who replies. "They shipped it out worldwide a week ago. Don't they have it in Florida yet?" For some reason it makes you fidget in your chair.

"I -- maybe.." Cry sounds confused then. "But why--? Oh. Oh. Well, fuck." A pause, then, "You know what? I'm going to go check out the local store and see if it came in yet. Sorry, guys."

The video ends there.

You can't explain the foul taste in your mouth that feels strangely like guilt.

"Hey (y/n)!"

You look up from your 3DS, pressing start to pause the game. "Oh, hi, Ryan," you grin at him. He shifts his weight from foot to foot as he smiles lazily at you. You pause to consider what could be off about his appearance, because obviously something felt off, when it clicked. "You're not wearing your glasses?"

He grins sheepishly at you. "No. I'm wearing contacts today."

You smile, "Oh. That's cool." You turn to pull a few games off of the shelves before turning around. "Here are the games you ordered."

He looks through them before pausing. "The next Amnesia hasn't arrived yet?" He says his words carefully, a strange look in his blue eyes. You bite your tongue and try not to look at the box of the other games, where somewhere inside, lay the Amnesia game -- which arrived over a week ago.

"Nope, not yet," you say, trying to keep your voice steady. "But I'll check the box at the end of my shift, though." He raises his eyebrows at you, tilting his head ever so slightly before nodding.

"'Kay."

The single word causes a shiver to run through you.

He's pulling out his wallet and pays you with cash. You put it in the till. "Well," he says, and pauses. It's as if he knows you want to say something else. When it turns out that you're not going to say anything, he continues, "I guess I'll see you later, (y/n)."

He turns and before you can stop your traitorous mouth you blurt out. "Ryan! Wait! I was wondering if--" He turns and your words die in your mouth. His eyes catch your's and your mesmerized. "If --" Oh. You can't find your train of thought anymore.

"If--"

Oh, you must look like an idiot now.

"Yeah, I'd like to hang out some time." He flashes you a smile and then he's gone. Your face is flushed pure red, you're sure. You rest an open palm against your chest and simply hold it there, feeling your heartbeat. It's erratic and jumpy.

It's not a date, you think, even though you honestly hoped it was one.

Ryan walks beside you, the sky looking gloomy above. "I can't wait to play this game," he's explaining to you in his silky voice, laughing quietly to himself.

"Yeah? Well, be happy. I bought that game for you," you pull a face, "so you better like it." He laughs and your face flames up slightly as he walks closer to you.

"Of course, friend. How can I ever repay you?" He asks sincerely, smiling gently at you. It's been a month and a half since he first stepped into the store. Sometimes, you wonder if he feels the same way about you.

"Hmm. I'm sure we'll think of something," you say, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear and smiling at him. He looks at you, a gentle look in his eyes. You haven't noticed it, but every so often he would pat his chest, look at you fondly, and whisper something to himself. Every so often, you'd catch him looking at you but when you turn to look, he's turned away.

"If you say so, (y/n)." He says simply, moving the bag to his other hand. Inside was a game that he was eying before, and you'd finally got the nerve to buy it for him. It wasn't the Amnesia game, though. He'd originally thanked you by scooping you up in his arms and twirling you around until you laughed breathlessly.

"Oh, shit," he says suddenly in surprise as a few rain drops spatter the ground.

"I'm sure it'll clear u--" just as you say that, it becomes a heavy downpour. With a shriek, you barrel towards the nearest overhang of a nearby store. He follows after you, looking so happy as if Christmas had come early. You start to ring the hem of your shirt. "It isn't supposed to rain this hard in Florida!" You say loudly, as he cackles next to you.

"Heh, sometimes." He's taking off his sweater. You watch him, feeling heat rise in your cheeks when you notice his shirt stick to his chest before he's offering it to you. "Here, friend. You need this more than I do."

You hesitantly reach forward, your teeth chattering from the sudden onslaught of the cold, and take it from him, brushing your fingers against him for a moment.

"Thank you," you say, in slight awe. It's his favorite green sweater, with faded white words on the front that looks suspiciously like a "Sup?" in a speech bubble.

You pull it over your head, dampening the hood slightly because of your damp hair. You begin to look up, about to thank him again. He's handsome, you know that. You hadn't really thought of it at first, but he was a pretty average guy. Then you got to know him. His laugh was infectious, like a disease, or a drug that you were addicted to. You look up, because he's taller than you, and your eyes linger along where his shirt is damp along his shoulders and sticks to his skin. You see the bottom of his face, and your eyes linger on his lips before you look up into his pale, stormy eyes.

"Oh," you say, in surprise. You already see unrecognized emotion rising in his eyes. "I wasn't -- I didn't mean to--" You know that he's caught you looking at him in an obvious not so platonic manner.

"Don't worry about it," he says smoothly, not sounding offended at all. The vaguely familiar quote sends a shiver down your spine. Ryan furrows his brow, as if thinking hard about something. Slowly, he leans forward, raising his hands slightly. "Friend, is it okay if I --?"

You hope against hope and feel your chest swell. "Yes," you whisper. "Oh, yes." He takes the confirmation and you meet him halfway, his hands cupping your cheeks and your hands bunching in his shirt. He tastes faintly of sea salt with an overlay of coconut lip balm. He's like the Florida sun, warm and pleasing. You two kiss gently, quietly, trying to map out the boundaries and testing the waters.

He pulls back and you find yourself flushed and overly warm in his sweater. His hands drop from your face, almost looking startled -- and pleased -- with himself.

"Consider that," you begin to say, your voice breathless. "As payment for the game."

Ryan smiles and you realize that you might be in love with this boy.

CryWasTaken - 25 minutes ago

Sorry for not uploading any Amnesia videos.

CryWasTaken - 11 minutes ago

PewDiePie I don't have the game yet.

CryWasTaken - 7 minutes ago

PewDiePie Yeah, I know. Being sick makes my voice all scratchy so no new games either. Anybody want to play nurse?

You spend less time watching Cry's videos. He may have been your lifeline for when you were angry and alone, but you find yourself slightly less obsessed with him than before. It's as if something had changed.

He's no longer a mask behind the screen. He's a real person with real feelings and a real back story. He's a shadow in the world but like Peter Pan, you think you've lost him, even when he wasn't yours to begin with.

You begin to let go of him. You can't let yourself fall for somebody that you will never meet. It doesn't explain why your heart aches so, so, much, though.

When Ryan was sick, you tended to him. He let's you into his apartment before shuffling towards the couch before you stop him.

"No, you're going to the bedroom."

He looks at you blankly for a moment before smirking and despite how red his nose and cheeks are from his cold, you grow irritated at him. "Didn't know that you wanted me that badly, (y/n)." You swat him, your face feeling like it's on fire.

"Oh, shut up, you!" You scowl at him while he guffaws loudly before dissolving into a coughing fit. You help him towards his bed, which is pushed over towards the wall. You notice vaguely of his computer and numerous electronic equipment in the corner. You tuck him into his bed.

"I'll go make some chicken soup," you say to Ryan calmly. He looks up at you with half-lidded eyes and smiles.

"Got it, miss," he says with a raspy voice. You sigh and leave his room, making sure the blinds were pulled and the light was off. You leave, make some chicken noodle soup on the stove, then return to his side with a steaming bowl.

It looks like he's asleep, until you grab his wheeled chair from his computer desk and brought it over. He blinks open his bleary blue eyes at you before recognition set in.

"Oh, hello."

"Hey," you say back. You let him eat. After he's finished, you set the bowl and spoon next to his alarm clock. "When I get sick you better take care of me, too."

"Of course, friend," he says with a sleepy smile.

You laugh soundlessly and pat him affectionately on the arm. "Good." You smile fondly at him before getting up. "I'll be in the next room if you need anything, okay?"

"'Kay."

CryWasTaken - 1 hr 27 mns ago

Wow. If I get a beautiful nurse to tend to me every time I get sick, I should get sick more often.

You're upset at yourself for missing Cry's tweet, because you were over at Ryan's house tending to him, but in the end, you decide it was for the best.

A week after Ryan gets better, you decide to stop by. He looks surprised when you walk into his bedroom, his blue eyes going wide. He has a headset on and his screen was showing what looked like a PewDiePie video.

"Hi," you say, and then he smiles.

"Hello, (y/n)." He motions you out of his room, which you oblige. After ten minutes, he leaves the room and shuts the door behind him.

"Er," he pauses, scratching at the back of his head. "I didn't expect to see you here. You could've warned a guy." It was true; you two had swapped cell phone numbers a while ago. You shrug nonchalantly and grin at him.

"Sorry, I wanted to surprise you."

He smiles. "Well, I really was surprised."

You smile and nod. "Good." You bend down to pet Ryan's cat, AK, when he patters past you.

"But .. what was with the surprise visit? Not that I had anything against it," he says, furrowing his brow. You've always teased him about leaving his windows open; not that you actually used them, of course. You've spent so much time over at his apartment that he's given you a spare key.

"I kind of wanted to know if you wanted to do something later," you blurt out despite yourself. Surprise is written all over his face before he smiles at you.

"Yeah, sure. Maybe tomorrow though, yeah? I have some videos to edit."

"Videos? Like Ken or Minx's?" You can't help yourself but blurt that out. An unreadable expression crosses his eyes at the mention of the YouTubers.

"...Yes."

"Oh," you grin. "That's really cool!" You scratch at the hem of your shirt. You feel like you're treading in dangerous territory for some reason but you can't get yourself to turn back.

"..I didn't know you watched YouTubers," he says slowly, as if trying to figure something out, and as if he hadn't noticed your inner turmoil.

"Well, someone once found out and wondered why I was into watching other people play video games," you laugh.

He stares at you for a while, to the point that it's uncomfortable. "Oh." He adjusts his glasses, "Well.." A pause. "Who would you say was your favorite YouTuber, then?"

You don't even hesitate to blurt out, "Cryaotic." The way he stares at you throws you off. His expression is visibly sad, almost heart wrenching. You feel like you've said something wrong, but you can't stop now. "I mean, well, I've always been fascinated by him -- his decision to not use a webcam -- his voice -- his laughter," his expression scrunches up as you continue. "I-I just like how he games..." He looks visibly relieved that you stopped talking about Cry, but the more his irritation dissolves the more sad he looks. Maybe it was because you so bluntly talked about your fascination with Cry, which sounded like a crush, even to you, and considering that you were, sort of, maybe, dating Ryan, you could see how it would make him uncomfortable.

"I see."

"I'm sorry!" you blurt out.

He blinks at you. Once. Twice. Then a small smile creeps up onto his face. "Don't worry about it." He sounds like he's forcing himself to say it. You think you've dug yourself into a hole but you don't see a way out. You don't even know how you managed to dig yourself into it.

You excuse yourself quickly after that.

CryWasTaken - 6 hrs ago

Guys, please stop asking about the girl in the stream.

CryWasTaken - 4 hrs 35 mns ago

cinnamontoastken No, I'm not giving you her phone number. She's already taken.

CryWasTaken - 3 mns ago

rose _andrealee Ha. Taken by me? Well ... I'm working on it.

The next time that Ryan comes into the store, you apologize profusely. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have -- I shouldn't have said anything."

He laughs quietly, "It's okay, friend." He still has a sad look in his eyes and you can't help but feel like it's all your fault. "Don't worry about it." You smile slightly at him but you feel like it's forced.

"Alright. Can I get you anything today, Ryan?"

His eyes never leave the shelves while he responds, "Yes. I'd like to cash in that rain check for that date with you." Your cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

"Of course."

Neither of you bring up Cry anymore, and your relationship with Ryan goes better. You still see him looking upset though when you open up the YouTube tab, so you tend to not open it anymore. After your mental pep talk to stop being so obsessed with watching Cry videos and reading his tweets, you almost feel better. Almost. That spot in your heart where your crush for Cry was was being filled for your love for Ryan. As sappy as it sounded, it was true. The more time you spent with him, the happier you were.

One day, almost four months after meeting him, you decide to bring it up -- whether you were dating or not. "Hey, Ryan are we -- y'know, are we -- are we dating?"

He looks up from the shared ice cream treat and slowly licks it off of the spoon. He sets it down and looks at you with a small smile. "I'd hope so. But I won't pressure you into anythi--" You shut him up by confidently kissing him.

CryWasTaken - 7 hrs ago

It's official. cinnamontoastken can't get her phone number anymore; she's taken. By me. #sorryladies

It's been two months since you've been dating Ryan, and even though mentally you know this is only the honeymoon phase, nothing could be better. You've been dropping by his apartment more often and today, you've decided to surprise him again. You creep through the door, being careful not to make a sound as you close the door. AK meows you a greeting and you smile at the cat before affectionately petting him. You then continue your ascent through his apartment. You pause when you get to his doorway.

Oh. It sounds like he's recording something. That reminds you, you'll have to ask him about his account; you'd definitely want to check it out. AK twines around your legs. You pause to listen to what he's saying and -- oh. Apparently he does watch Cry. Or, more accurately, listens to Cry Reads. That is most definitely Cry's voice that you hear through the door. You open the door.

You pause.

On the screen is a recording program as well as a smaller tab open for the story. There wasn't any Cry Reads videos open. You swallow and try to make sense of it in your heard but that means ... that would mean --..

"Cry?"

Ryan turns around and looks like a deer caught in the headlights.

You weren't expecting this. You weren't expecting this at all.

Ryan's saying something but you're in too much shock to listen until he tosses down his headset and makes you sit on his bed. "I didn't want you to find out, (y/n)" he's saying, running his hands along his face and along his slightly stubbled jaw. You're staring blankly at him, still waiting for your brain to process everything. "You sounded so -- dammit, you sounded so happy talking about Cry that I couldn't -- I wouldn't -- it was wrong of me. If I told you, I couldn't have known if you stayed because of me .." His fist clenches in his pale yellow shirt, just above his chest. "..or because I was Cry."

You suddenly realize why he always looked so sad after he found out that you really liked Cry. It upsets you beyond words, so you cry -- and excuse yourself from his apartment, whispering apologies while you leave. You feel like you've ruined everything. You couldn't possibly have hated him for withholding this from you, you just couldn't.

CryWasTaken - 12 hrs ago

Well, everything's fucked now.

You knock on his door, clutching the bag tightly to your chest. Ryan opens the door, his hair in a mess and bruises brightening under his eyes from lack of sleep. You brush a lock of your (h/c) hair behind your ear and try to smile, but it doesn't work out because your lip wobbles slightly so instead you offer the bag. He hesitates, confusion lighting in his blue eyes. "What's this?"

"You, uh, forgot this, at the store," you shift your weight from foot to foot. "Or rather, um." You bite your bottom lip. "I just didn't give it to you when it came in." He looks into the bag. You already know what it is; you put it in there yourself. It was the newest Amnesia game.

He looks back up at you with a furrowed brow. "When did this come in?"

"Uh, about a week or two after you ordered it?" That was at least six months ago, you realize. You flush at his surprised look. "I just -- I'm sorry," your voice gets quieter. "I just -- I was just trying to -- um. I thought that maybe it'd get you to come to the store more, because you said you'd pick it up there and -- and -- I'm sorry. It was selfish of me. But you ... you can have it. I already paid it for you. Free of charge, basically." Your hands clench in his sweater that he lent you when it rained. "And - I wanted to give this back to you." You hold out his sweater, which he hesitantly takes from you.

"Thanks.."

"N-No problem."

You fidget, shoving your hands in your pockets. You turn to leave, then pause, a flush creeping up along your neck. "D-Do you remember, in- in one of your Cry Talks: Fish Answers.." He nods. "About your biggest regret being not telling that one girl how you felt about her.." You bite your bottom lip then plow forward. "I just -- I wanted you to know that I may have had a crush on Cry but I .. I was in love with Ryan." You turn and walk away.

It doesn't take long until Ryan is rushing after you. "Wait! (y/n)!" You pause, tears pricking at the corner of your eyes as you turn around. He smiles at you. "You know .. I never got to thank you for this game, friend." You swear your whole face is flushed.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." He leans in, his breath tickling your face. "Can I?"

"Yes." He kisses you. It's salty, but instead of the Florida ocean on his lips, it's your tears. You don't think you're sad anymore, though. You don't think he is, either. You get so wrapped up in kissing him that you forget to breath.

"I think -- I think that serves as payment for the game." It's what you said before, and by the way he smiles, he knows it too.

"(y/n)?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you too."

Description
body div#devskin0 hr { }

You rest your palms against the counter top, blowing a strand of your (h/c) hair out of your face. Today is boring, you think. You grab a lock of your hair and run it through your fingers.

Perhaps I could.. No. You shake your head and clear it of those thoughts. No. You decided that you won't watch any more YouTube videos for a while; you've already went through PewDiePie and RPGMinx's videos and was just waiting for Cryaotic to update with his newest video, which was supposed to be today. Probably.

You tug at your teal uniform and adjust your name tag. Yes, you were an avid fan of YouTubers. While you liked and disliked some, you would probably have to say that Cryaotic was your recent favorite. You had started getting into his videos over a year ago and watched the majority of them when you weren't working at the local game store in Florida.

While you liked watching their videos, you couldn't really say that you liked to create your own videos. You decided to leave that to the professionals, so to speak.

The faint sound of the door opening makes you snap out of your thoughts. You turn towards the door and manage a smile. "Hello, let me know if I can assist you with anything," you say over the counters.

"Kay," came a brief reply before the person ducks down behind some of the game shelves and checks them over.

After a customer pays for their games, it's only you, the guy who just walked in, and two others. It was a fairly quiet day. You sigh and lean back on your heels, pressing your hands behind your back while you look around the store. You could spot your favorite games, of which you owned an original and a special edition of, and a few others games that didn't interest you.

"Excuse me," came a deep voice from across the counter. You stumble, loosing your footing in surprise before catching yourself. You stare across the glass counter and notice a tall, lanky guy with Floridan tanned skin, slightly tousled although curly hair and a soft smile. Pale blue eyes shine at you from behind his glasses.

"Yes?" You ask, leaning forward slightly.

The man, who couldn't have been more than twenty five, cleared his throat and offers you a smile. "Yeah, hi, I was wondering if the newest Amnesia game arrived yet?"

You chew your bottom lip, putting your hands on your hips as your roll your (e/c) eyes to the ceiling. "Er," you begin then falter. "No, I don't think so. Do you want to pre-order it?"

He hesitates then nods. "Yeah, that would be great. Thanks, friend." You smile and nod at him before turning towards the computer that sat next to the cash register.

"No problem," you say with a smile, clicking open the pre-order form and typing in the newest Amnesia game. "What's your name?"

A brief pause, "Ryan T."

"T?" You lift an eyebrow to look at him.

He shrugs nonchalantly. "Hey, friend, it's just some privacy thing that I do."

You nod then turn back to the computer. "Do you want me to phone you when it comes in or mail it to your address?"

Out of the corner of your eye, you notice him already shaking his head. "Nah. It's fine. I'll just come over every so often to see if it's here." He raises his eyebrows slightly. "If that's okay with you?"

You're already nodding, "Yeah. That's fine."

He flashes you a smile. "Thanks, (y/n)."

You stiffen in surprise and turn to him, eyes widening. "How--?" You begin to ask before his laughter interrupts you, a sound that seems familiar.

"You have a name tag."

"Oh. Right. Of course."

Ryan smiles at you and you return it, even if you do it with a bit of suspicion in your eyes. When he glances away to check out a game, you check your uniform and realize that yes, your name tag was there. When you look up, you notice him grinning at you in amusement. You flush and look away.

"Do you need anything else?"

"No, I'm good. Thanks. See you soon." He nods in your direction before stuffing his hands into the pockets of his green hoodie after he walks out the door.

You find yourself watching him leave, his laughter stuck in your head.

As it turns out, Ryan came by every week to check if his order came in. He asked you about what games you liked, which as it turned out, was similar to his. This had you two bonding over scenes that you recall and laughing like fools in the store.

Eventually, he asked you to co-op Portal with him to which you agreed and after that, as they say, was history.

Except it wasn't.

"Do you remember in Mad Father when --?"

"Yes!" You say, muffling your laughter behind the drink that you bought. At his expression you quickly sputter out, "Oh! Uh. Sorry. Wrong moment to laugh, I think." You manage a grin at him.

He relaxes and nods. "Yeah," he admits. "I think I understand what you mean, (y/n). Sometimes you try to make light of the situation even when it's way too serious."

"No," you say, thinking of when Cry played Mad Father and his horrified laughter during Ao Oni. "I mean, yes." You can't bring yourself to confess to Ryan about your slight obsession with watching Cry's videos. His expression is slightly confused and you flush with embarrassment. "Uh, sorry."

"No, it's fine."

You bring your cup to your lips and take a long sip. You wonder if Ryan watched any of the YouTuber's videos. The thought brings a smile to your face for some reason. At the sight of your smile, his own mouth quirks up in a small smile.

"What's so funny?" You demand to know.

"You've got.." He begins to say before laughing, causing you to flush deeply. "Oh, (y/n). I'm sorry you just -- you have frosting on your nose."

You glance down at your frosted drink in reflex then try to cross your eyes in growing horror, trying to spot the smudge along your nose. "Oh, um," you sputter out, reaching for a napkin.

"No, wait," he says, reaching out and grabbing onto your wrist. You freeze and slowly, with a horrified interest, you see him reach forward with his other hand and swipe at your nose gently before bringing it to his lips and licking it off his finger. "There, all clean, friend." He grins at you, a slight flush dotting along his ears.

You stare at him. You're admittedly torn between disgusted and in awe. "Oh," you manage out. "Thank you." You're sure that you're positively flushed by now. If anything, his smile widens.

Oh, you think, when he seems to realize that he's still holding your wrist. Oh. Ryan.. He mutters an apology and you insist it's okay.

When you get home that night, you are smiling like a dork. When you check Cryaotic's channel on YouTube, it seems like he feels as giddy as you do, because he seems kind of different. A good different that makes you grin all the wider. You swear you can hear the smile in Cry's laughter during his latest upload and when you go to sleep that night, it's with a smile.

"Hey, Cry. Cry!" Pewdie's voice rings through your speakers as you watch one of Cry's newest videos with Pewdie and the rest, playing Trouble in Terrorist Town. Cry was a traitor, and was chasing Minx around.

"What is it?" Comes that sweet angelic voice. You practically swoon.

"Do you remember?"

Everybody groans. You can barely contain your laughter. "..What?" Cry plays along, half distracted by dodging Ken's attempts at shooting at him.

"September."

Ken can audibly be heard laughing, while Pewdie guffaws and could be heard falling out of his chair.

"You know that you're the only one who makes me remember September, Pewds," Cry insists, but there's something off about his voice. You frown to yourself.

"PFF. Of course! That's our month, bro!" The conversation eventually turns to who was the traitor. As usual, everybody thought it was Minx. They turned against each other and killed off a few of the others. Minx was remarkably still alive.

"Hah!" She shouts when she kills Cry, and a sign of Innocents Win flash across the screen.

"Dammit, Cry! It was you?! I thought we were friends!" Pewdie wailed, his voice going above microphone level, causing a faint screeching noise. "Oh, sorry, bros."

"What? Oh, yeah, it was me. The terrorists couldn't resist me; they all wanted me to join them."

"...But you were the only terrorist? How could the other terrorists want you to join if it's just you?" Cry ends up laughing at their confusion. They chatter for a bit until the topic turns to the newest Amnesia game.

"Hey! Have you guys started your play 'Lets Play's of that newest Amnesia game yet?" Pewds asks, sounding distracted while the next round loads.

"Yeah. It seems pretty okay so far--"

"I haven't opened mine yet, I still have to finish--"

"It's been mailed out already?" Cry's voice cuts through, sounding irritated.

"Yeah.." It's Ken who replies. "They shipped it out worldwide a week ago. Don't they have it in Florida yet?" For some reason it makes you fidget in your chair.

"I -- maybe.." Cry sounds confused then. "But why--? Oh. Oh. Well, fuck." A pause, then, "You know what? I'm going to go check out the local store and see if it came in yet. Sorry, guys."

The video ends there.

You can't explain the foul taste in your mouth that feels strangely like guilt.

"Hey (y/n)!"

You look up from your 3DS, pressing start to pause the game. "Oh, hi, Ryan," you grin at him. He shifts his weight from foot to foot as he smiles lazily at you. You pause to consider what could be off about his appearance, because obviously something felt off, when it clicked. "You're not wearing your glasses?"

He grins sheepishly at you. "No. I'm wearing contacts today."

You smile, "Oh. That's cool." You turn to pull a few games off of the shelves before turning around. "Here are the games you ordered."

He looks through them before pausing. "The next Amnesia hasn't arrived yet?" He says his words carefully, a strange look in his blue eyes. You bite your tongue and try not to look at the box of the other games, where somewhere inside, lay the Amnesia game -- which arrived over a week ago.

"Nope, not yet," you say, trying to keep your voice steady. "But I'll check the box at the end of my shift, though." He raises his eyebrows at you, tilting his head ever so slightly before nodding.

"'Kay."

The single word causes a shiver to run through you.

He's pulling out his wallet and pays you with cash. You put it in the till. "Well," he says, and pauses. It's as if he knows you want to say something else. When it turns out that you're not going to say anything, he continues, "I guess I'll see you later, (y/n)."

He turns and before you can stop your traitorous mouth you blurt out. "Ryan! Wait! I was wondering if--" He turns and your words die in your mouth. His eyes catch your's and your mesmerized. "If --" Oh. You can't find your train of thought anymore.

"If--"

Oh, you must look like an idiot now.

"Yeah, I'd like to hang out some time." He flashes you a smile and then he's gone. Your face is flushed pure red, you're sure. You rest an open palm against your chest and simply hold it there, feeling your heartbeat. It's erratic and jumpy.

It's not a date, you think, even though you honestly hoped it was one.

Ryan walks beside you, the sky looking gloomy above. "I can't wait to play this game," he's explaining to you in his silky voice, laughing quietly to himself.

"Yeah? Well, be happy. I bought that game for you," you pull a face, "so you better like it." He laughs and your face flames up slightly as he walks closer to you.

"Of course, friend. How can I ever repay you?" He asks sincerely, smiling gently at you. It's been a month and a half since he first stepped into the store. Sometimes, you wonder if he feels the same way about you.

"Hmm. I'm sure we'll think of something," you say, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear and smiling at him. He looks at you, a gentle look in his eyes. You haven't noticed it, but every so often he would pat his chest, look at you fondly, and whisper something to himself. Every so often, you'd catch him looking at you but when you turn to look, he's turned away.

"If you say so, (y/n)." He says simply, moving the bag to his other hand. Inside was a game that he was eying before, and you'd finally got the nerve to buy it for him. It wasn't the Amnesia game, though. He'd originally thanked you by scooping you up in his arms and twirling you around until you laughed breathlessly.

"Oh, shit," he says suddenly in surprise as a few rain drops spatter the ground.

"I'm sure it'll clear u--" just as you say that, it becomes a heavy downpour. With a shriek, you barrel towards the nearest overhang of a nearby store. He follows after you, looking so happy as if Christmas had come early. You start to ring the hem of your shirt. "It isn't supposed to rain this hard in Florida!" You say loudly, as he cackles next to you.

"Heh, sometimes." He's taking off his sweater. You watch him, feeling heat rise in your cheeks when you notice his shirt stick to his chest before he's offering it to you. "Here, friend. You need this more than I do."

You hesitantly reach forward, your teeth chattering from the sudden onslaught of the cold, and take it from him, brushing your fingers against him for a moment.

"Thank you," you say, in slight awe. It's his favorite green sweater, with faded white words on the front that looks suspiciously like a "Sup?" in a speech bubble.

You pull it over your head, dampening the hood slightly because of your damp hair. You begin to look up, about to thank him again. He's handsome, you know that. You hadn't really thought of it at first, but he was a pretty average guy. Then you got to know him. His laugh was infectious, like a disease, or a drug that you were addicted to. You look up, because he's taller than you, and your eyes linger along where his shirt is damp along his shoulders and sticks to his skin. You see the bottom of his face, and your eyes linger on his lips before you look up into his pale, stormy eyes.

"Oh," you say, in surprise. You already see unrecognized emotion rising in his eyes. "I wasn't -- I didn't mean to--" You know that he's caught you looking at him in an obvious not so platonic manner.

"Don't worry about it," he says smoothly, not sounding offended at all. The vaguely familiar quote sends a shiver down your spine. Ryan furrows his brow, as if thinking hard about something. Slowly, he leans forward, raising his hands slightly. "Friend, is it okay if I --?"

You hope against hope and feel your chest swell. "Yes," you whisper. "Oh, yes." He takes the confirmation and you meet him halfway, his hands cupping your cheeks and your hands bunching in his shirt. He tastes faintly of sea salt with an overlay of coconut lip balm. He's like the Florida sun, warm and pleasing. You two kiss gently, quietly, trying to map out the boundaries and testing the waters.

He pulls back and you find yourself flushed and overly warm in his sweater. His hands drop from your face, almost looking startled -- and pleased -- with himself.

"Consider that," you begin to say, your voice breathless. "As payment for the game."

Ryan smiles and you realize that you might be in love with this boy.

CryWasTaken - 25 minutes ago

Sorry for not uploading any Amnesia videos.

CryWasTaken - 11 minutes ago

PewDiePie I don't have the game yet.

CryWasTaken - 7 minutes ago

PewDiePie Yeah, I know. Being sick makes my voice all scratchy so no new games either. Anybody want to play nurse?

You spend less time watching Cry's videos. He may have been your lifeline for when you were angry and alone, but you find yourself slightly less obsessed with him than before. It's as if something had changed.

He's no longer a mask behind the screen. He's a real person with real feelings and a real back story. He's a shadow in the world but like Peter Pan, you think you've lost him, even when he wasn't yours to begin with.

You begin to let go of him. You can't let yourself fall for somebody that you will never meet. It doesn't explain why your heart aches so, so, much, though.

When Ryan was sick, you tended to him. He let's you into his apartment before shuffling towards the couch before you stop him.

"No, you're going to the bedroom."

He looks at you blankly for a moment before smirking and despite how red his nose and cheeks are from his cold, you grow irritated at him. "Didn't know that you wanted me that badly, (y/n)." You swat him, your face feeling like it's on fire.

"Oh, shut up, you!" You scowl at him while he guffaws loudly before dissolving into a coughing fit. You help him towards his bed, which is pushed over towards the wall. You notice vaguely of his computer and numerous electronic equipment in the corner. You tuck him into his bed.

"I'll go make some chicken soup," you say to Ryan calmly. He looks up at you with half-lidded eyes and smiles.

"Got it, miss," he says with a raspy voice. You sigh and leave his room, making sure the blinds were pulled and the light was off. You leave, make some chicken noodle soup on the stove, then return to his side with a steaming bowl.

It looks like he's asleep, until you grab his wheeled chair from his computer desk and brought it over. He blinks open his bleary blue eyes at you before recognition set in.

"Oh, hello."

"Hey," you say back. You let him eat. After he's finished, you set the bowl and spoon next to his alarm clock. "When I get sick you better take care of me, too."

"Of course, friend," he says with a sleepy smile.

You laugh soundlessly and pat him affectionately on the arm. "Good." You smile fondly at him before getting up. "I'll be in the next room if you need anything, okay?"

"'Kay."

CryWasTaken - 1 hr 27 mns ago

Wow. If I get a beautiful nurse to tend to me every time I get sick, I should get sick more often.

You're upset at yourself for missing Cry's tweet, because you were over at Ryan's house tending to him, but in the end, you decide it was for the best.

A week after Ryan gets better, you decide to stop by. He looks surprised when you walk into his bedroom, his blue eyes going wide. He has a headset on and his screen was showing what looked like a PewDiePie video.

"Hi," you say, and then he smiles.

"Hello, (y/n)." He motions you out of his room, which you oblige. After ten minutes, he leaves the room and shuts the door behind him.

"Er," he pauses, scratching at the back of his head. "I didn't expect to see you here. You could've warned a guy." It was true; you two had swapped cell phone numbers a while ago. You shrug nonchalantly and grin at him.

"Sorry, I wanted to surprise you."

He smiles. "Well, I really was surprised."

You smile and nod. "Good." You bend down to pet Ryan's cat, AK, when he patters past you.

"But .. what was with the surprise visit? Not that I had anything against it," he says, furrowing his brow. You've always teased him about leaving his windows open; not that you actually used them, of course. You've spent so much time over at his apartment that he's given you a spare key.

"I kind of wanted to know if you wanted to do something later," you blurt out despite yourself. Surprise is written all over his face before he smiles at you.

"Yeah, sure. Maybe tomorrow though, yeah? I have some videos to edit."

"Videos? Like Ken or Minx's?" You can't help yourself but blurt that out. An unreadable expression crosses his eyes at the mention of the YouTubers.

"...Yes."

"Oh," you grin. "That's really cool!" You scratch at the hem of your shirt. You feel like you're treading in dangerous territory for some reason but you can't get yourself to turn back.

"..I didn't know you watched YouTubers," he says slowly, as if trying to figure something out, and as if he hadn't noticed your inner turmoil.

"Well, someone once found out and wondered why I was into watching other people play video games," you laugh.

He stares at you for a while, to the point that it's uncomfortable. "Oh." He adjusts his glasses, "Well.." A pause. "Who would you say was your favorite YouTuber, then?"

You don't even hesitate to blurt out, "Cryaotic." The way he stares at you throws you off. His expression is visibly sad, almost heart wrenching. You feel like you've said something wrong, but you can't stop now. "I mean, well, I've always been fascinated by him -- his decision to not use a webcam -- his voice -- his laughter," his expression scrunches up as you continue. "I-I just like how he games..." He looks visibly relieved that you stopped talking about Cry, but the more his irritation dissolves the more sad he looks. Maybe it was because you so bluntly talked about your fascination with Cry, which sounded like a crush, even to you, and considering that you were, sort of, maybe, dating Ryan, you could see how it would make him uncomfortable.

"I see."

"I'm sorry!" you blurt out.

He blinks at you. Once. Twice. Then a small smile creeps up onto his face. "Don't worry about it." He sounds like he's forcing himself to say it. You think you've dug yourself into a hole but you don't see a way out. You don't even know how you managed to dig yourself into it.

You excuse yourself quickly after that.

CryWasTaken - 6 hrs ago

Guys, please stop asking about the girl in the stream.

CryWasTaken - 4 hrs 35 mns ago

cinnamontoastken No, I'm not giving you her phone number. She's already taken.

CryWasTaken - 3 mns ago

rose _andrealee Ha. Taken by me? Well ... I'm working on it.

The next time that Ryan comes into the store, you apologize profusely. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have -- I shouldn't have said anything."

He laughs quietly, "It's okay, friend." He still has a sad look in his eyes and you can't help but feel like it's all your fault. "Don't worry about it." You smile slightly at him but you feel like it's forced.

"Alright. Can I get you anything today, Ryan?"

His eyes never leave the shelves while he responds, "Yes. I'd like to cash in that rain check for that date with you." Your cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

"Of course."

Neither of you bring up Cry anymore, and your relationship with Ryan goes better. You still see him looking upset though when you open up the YouTube tab, so you tend to not open it anymore. After your mental pep talk to stop being so obsessed with watching Cry videos and reading his tweets, you almost feel better. Almost. That spot in your heart where your crush for Cry was was being filled for your love for Ryan. As sappy as it sounded, it was true. The more time you spent with him, the happier you were.

One day, almost four months after meeting him, you decide to bring it up -- whether you were dating or not. "Hey, Ryan are we -- y'know, are we -- are we dating?"

He looks up from the shared ice cream treat and slowly licks it off of the spoon. He sets it down and looks at you with a small smile. "I'd hope so. But I won't pressure you into anythi--" You shut him up by confidently kissing him.

CryWasTaken - 7 hrs ago

It's official. cinnamontoastken can't get her phone number anymore; she's taken. By me. #sorryladies

It's been two months since you've been dating Ryan, and even though mentally you know this is only the honeymoon phase, nothing could be better. You've been dropping by his apartment more often and today, you've decided to surprise him again. You creep through the door, being careful not to make a sound as you close the door. AK meows you a greeting and you smile at the cat before affectionately petting him. You then continue your ascent through his apartment. You pause when you get to his doorway.

Oh. It sounds like he's recording something. That reminds you, you'll have to ask him about his account; you'd definitely want to check it out. AK twines around your legs. You pause to listen to what he's saying and -- oh. Apparently he does watch Cry. Or, more accurately, listens to Cry Reads. That is most definitely Cry's voice that you hear through the door. You open the door.

You pause.

On the screen is a recording program as well as a smaller tab open for the story. There wasn't any Cry Reads videos open. You swallow and try to make sense of it in your heard but that means ... that would mean --..

"Cry?"

Ryan turns around and looks like a deer caught in the headlights.

You weren't expecting this. You weren't expecting this at all.

Ryan's saying something but you're in too much shock to listen until he tosses down his headset and makes you sit on his bed. "I didn't want you to find out, (y/n)" he's saying, running his hands along his face and along his slightly stubbled jaw. You're staring blankly at him, still waiting for your brain to process everything. "You sounded so -- dammit, you sounded so happy talking about Cry that I couldn't -- I wouldn't -- it was wrong of me. If I told you, I couldn't have known if you stayed because of me .." His fist clenches in his pale yellow shirt, just above his chest. "..or because I was Cry."

You suddenly realize why he always looked so sad after he found out that you really liked Cry. It upsets you beyond words, so you cry -- and excuse yourself from his apartment, whispering apologies while you leave. You feel like you've ruined everything. You couldn't possibly have hated him for withholding this from you, you just couldn't.

CryWasTaken - 12 hrs ago

Well, everything's fucked now.

You knock on his door, clutching the bag tightly to your chest. Ryan opens the door, his hair in a mess and bruises brightening under his eyes from lack of sleep. You brush a lock of your (h/c) hair behind your ear and try to smile, but it doesn't work out because your lip wobbles slightly so instead you offer the bag. He hesitates, confusion lighting in his blue eyes. "What's this?"

"You, uh, forgot this, at the store," you shift your weight from foot to foot. "Or rather, um." You bite your bottom lip. "I just didn't give it to you when it came in." He looks into the bag. You already know what it is; you put it in there yourself. It was the newest Amnesia game.

He looks back up at you with a furrowed brow. "When did this come in?"

"Uh, about a week or two after you ordered it?" That was at least six months ago, you realize. You flush at his surprised look. "I just -- I'm sorry," your voice gets quieter. "I just -- I was just trying to -- um. I thought that maybe it'd get you to come to the store more, because you said you'd pick it up there and -- and -- I'm sorry. It was selfish of me. But you ... you can have it. I already paid it for you. Free of charge, basically." Your hands clench in his sweater that he lent you when it rained. "And - I wanted to give this back to you." You hold out his sweater, which he hesitantly takes from you.

"Thanks.."

"N-No problem."

You fidget, shoving your hands in your pockets. You turn to leave, then pause, a flush creeping up along your neck. "D-Do you remember, in- in one of your Cry Talks: Fish Answers.." He nods. "About your biggest regret being not telling that one girl how you felt about her.." You bite your bottom lip then plow forward. "I just -- I wanted you to know that I may have had a crush on Cry but I .. I was in love with Ryan." You turn and walk away.

It doesn't take long until Ryan is rushing after you. "Wait! (y/n)!" You pause, tears pricking at the corner of your eyes as you turn around. He smiles at you. "You know .. I never got to thank you for this game, friend." You swear your whole face is flushed.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." He leans in, his breath tickling your face. "Can I?"

"Yes." He kisses you. It's salty, but instead of the Florida ocean on his lips, it's your tears. You don't think you're sad anymore, though. You don't think he is, either. You get so wrapped up in kissing him that you forget to breath.

"I think -- I think that serves as payment for the game." It's what you said before, and by the way he smiles, he knows it too.

"(y/n)?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you too."