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Before the Worst, An Origin Story
WARNING: Slight Language
2
   It took every fiber of Vera's being not to scream and force the door to slide back closed with her own hands because it would take too long for the door to close itself (which, wasn't necessarily true since the doors slid open and closed within a blink of an eye, but it still wouldn't be fast enough for Vera). Even then she released a little cry, the sound barely issuing from her slightly parted lips. Her skin went cold, and she was very grateful that the hoodie she was wearing was very loose as her whole body went up in goose bumps.
   "Vera," Kaidan said with a smile that reflected what she thought as relief, which only added to her goose pimples.
   "K-kaidan!" Vera sputtered, crossing her arms across her chest just for good measure. "What, what are you doing here?"
   "I know, you must think me as some kind of stalker, right?" No, not really. "But I just had to see you again."
   At the sound of Kedzie's muffled sniggers, Vera sharply turned her head back to narrow her green eyes threateningly at her friend. Kedzie's giggles paused at Vera's glare, but quickly continued on, not intimidated in the least. When Vera turned back to Kaidan, he was glancing over Vera's shoulder at Kedzie.
   "Why don't we step out for a moment, hm?" Vera quickly suggested, putting a timid hand on Kaidan's shoulder to push him out into the hallway.
   The last thing Vera needed was Kedzie to ruin this for her.
   "Was I interrupting something?" He asked, truly concerned if he did indeed interrupt something.
   Vera noticed that her hand was still on his shoulder, and, more importantly, that neither had a problem with it being there. Her fingers curled in, ready to withdraw her touch, but part of her wanted it to stay. Before Vera could lose her mind over whether she should keep her hand on his shoulder or not, she remembered that he asked her something and that she was expected to answer.
   "Oh, no, no." She assured, finally deciding to bring her hand back down to her side albeit with hesitation. "My friend and I were just making some dinner…" And, before Vera could think about how Kedzie would react to this, which would be with much annoyance, she asked, "Would you like to join us?"
   His face lit up immediately, and Vera knew she had her answer before he spoke. But, then she realized what she just asked. She just escaped into the hallway to get away from Kedzie, and now Vera was inviting Kaidan back inside to have dinner with them both?
   "If it's not a bother, I'd love to-"
   "It is," Vera shouted suddenly, putting her hand back on his shoulder, but with more force behind it as he stepped forward expectantly.
   His brown eyes flashed with confusion, and then hurt, and then confusion and hurt. Vera was never very good at talking with human men, even before Connor came around. But, with Connor, it became surprisingly easy to speak with him, natural even, as they spent more time together.
   It appeared that talking with Kaidan was a totally different thing. Her tongue felt like it was literally tied in a knot, and her head, she discovered, became all clouded and foggy around him. Vera couldn't think straight in this barely-an-acquaintance's presence.
   She never believed in any of the fairytales her mother used to tell her back when Vera's mother actually was a mother. She didn't think 'true love' or 'love at first sight' were real. She thought it childish and petty, even as a child herself. It was so irrational, yet here was this man sending her heart flying, drying her throat up and leaving her absolutely breathless.
   "No," She corrected quickly, trying so hard to fix everything. No way she was losing him now. "It's just that, well, I'm not so sure that…" Goodness, she was making things worse, if anything.
   Kaidan looked between her touch and her eyes, his eyebrows knit together with puzzlement. Oh, how Vera wished she could smooth out the creases in his forehead with a gentle brush of her fingers…
   Focus, Vera!
   "I-I just remembered that my friend, she's sick. She's very sick-" Vera scoffed on the inside at her attempt at a lie, not believing her own words in the slightest.
   "Well, then how about I take you out somewhere?" Kaidan suggested, his face now smooth with a smirk as he saved Vera's poor attempt at mending the situation. "I know it's late, but there's this little café in the Commons that is open twenty-four-seven…if you're interested, I mean."
   Her first thought was, In this? She plucked at the hoodie and fluffed at her hair with her nose scrunched up—and oh my goodness, he just asked her out on a date. Vera's hands dropped, her fingers catching slightly in her still-damp hair and bringing a few auburn-brown strands with it. Her green eyes widened and blinked a few times, still processing what she had just heard him say. And he probably thought her rude for just staring at him incredulously after he just asked her out while she was just stunned, speechless even.
   "Of course, yeah!" Vera cried when she finally found her voice, a smile breaking across her face as she bit back another scream, but now for a completely different reason. "Oh, but I'll have to change first."
   "I didn't want to say anything…" teased Kaidan, putting a joking finger to his pursed lips.
   Hah, if only you knew that I wasn't wearing anything under it, Vera thought with a nervous laugh. There was a split second where her heart was frozen with uncertainty, with fear that Kaidan would harm her. It frightened her so much that she nearly broke down into tears right then. But, it was gone as soon as it appeared, leaving a strange sense of safety in his company. I can trust him. He won't hurt me. Vera thought to herself while thinking, You don't know that, you moron! You don't even know the guy. You don't know anything about him except his name and the fact that he's a handsome man, at the same time. Surprisingly, the former thoughts won over with ease.
   She must've been lonelier than she thought.
   Kaidan grinned behind his finger, and there was nothing to stop the blush this time as it crept up her neck and flushed her face with a pale red. She wrapped her arms around herself, turning slightly away back towards the door.
   "I'll be right back." Vera murmured shyly, stumbling a bit as she backed away blindly, her eyes still latched onto his gaze.
   "I'll be right here," Kaidan replied, putting his hands in his pockets with that charming smirk still on his lips.
   Vera giggled, completely drunk on his presence as she slapped her hand blindly on the door. Her touch eventually found the button, and the door jumped apart, unexpected and fast. Vera yelped, nearly falling through the now open space, but not before Kaidan's arms were catching her. Her own arms somehow found themselves around his neck, stiffened with the adrenaline released from her oh-so-life-threatening fall.
   "What the-?!"
   Kedzie's curse was lost to Vera at the moment. She was only taking in his face that was mere inches from hers. Her green eyes held his brown eyes, both not sure of what to do next. His lips just a breath away…
   It was only then did Vera realize that her chest was pressed against Kaidan's, and they had unconsciously and entirely skipped first base and just slid right into second with a flurry of innocent, ignorant dust.
   "Gah!" gasped Vera, tumbling out of his grasp with great speed, but not enough.
   This time, Kaidan didn't need an explanation for this other episode of hers. He stood up, rigid with a red face and a mortified expression. Oh, wonderful. So he did feel her…Oh, good God. Vera thought, completely frozen with humiliation with her hand clasped to her chest.
   "I'll wait outside for you, okay?" Kaidan finally mumbled without meeting her eyes, gratefully escaping back into the hallway with the door sliding shut behind him.
   Vera was still stuck to the floor, like her feet were cemented in heavy, stubborn concrete blocks. Her mouth was slightly agape, one hand still clutching the fabric of the hoodie on her chest. She blinked, pulled out of her trance by the toils of laughter from Kedzie.
   "Oh, my God. You must really like this guy!" Kedzie wheezed between her gasping laughs. "Like a whole fuck ton-"
   A snort overpowered the rest of Kedzie's statement, which only made her laugh even more. Vera slowly turned her head to look over at her friend in the kitchen with an expression of pure exasperation. Kedzie was bent over, holding her stomach with a spoon in one hand. Her pale blonde hair was swept over her shoulder, obscuring her face from Vera's view, but Vera could picture Kedzie's face perfectly. Her pale eyes were scrunched shut, tears probably leaking from them at this point. Kedzie's nose would be just as scrunched, snorts issuing from the nostrils every now and then. And of course, her laughter itself was something that started from her toes and jigged up to her mouth.
   Kedzie's laughter was a beautiful thing, in all honesty, and Vera knew she couldn't stay upset that long with Kedzie in the first place. She huffed, managing to snatch a pillow from the sofa and toss it angrily at Kedzie before her irritation left her system. Kedzie paused mid-snort, dropping to the floor to miss the projectile that soared over her head and landed on the stove with a sizzle.
   "Vera!" Kedzie scolded as she jumped back up, picking at the pillow before it caught fire.
   "Sorry!" Vera shouted back, evading guiltily into the sanctuary of their bedroom. "But I have to change!"
   Kedzie yelled something else and Vera saw a flash of flame, but it became muffled and dark behind the closed bedroom door. She stood there for a second, soaking in the feelings of elation and purging those of awkwardness and slight fear. Her eyes opened, bright and excited, and Vera dashed into the closet the two women shared. Of course, Kedzie didn't have much other than the essentials, and so Vera's clothing took up the bulk of the closet.
   Vera flicked through her clothes, finding nothing that seemed to meet her needs. This was too big, this one not the right color, and then this one was just ugly in general. Finally, Vera decided on a plain white shirt with black, cuffed sleeves that ended just above her elbow. After putting on the appropriate undergarments, Vera pulled the shirt over her head and yanked up some black pants. She ran her fingers through her light brown hair that was barely damp now as she shoved her feet into a pair of Kedzie's black calf-high boots. She glanced at herself in the mirror hanging in the closet, satisfied with her appearance, before walking back into the main room.
   "You think this is appropriate?" Vera asked, adjusting the cuffs of her shirt.
   "Do you really think I give a damn?" Kedzie asked bitterly, beating the slightly smoking pillow against the countertop with her eyes down. "Almost set the goddamn apartment on fire and all you care about is-" Kedzie paused in her grumbling and pillow beating to look up reproachfully at Vera, but was stopped short by Vera's sincere, apologetic look. "Dang, Vera. It's just dinner at a café."
   "Oh, goodness, it is too much, isn't it?" Vera flushed and fluttered her hands, turning back begin the excavation through her pile of clothes again.
   "No, no! It's totally appropriate." assured Kedzie, dropping the pillow on the counter and moving to her friend. She tugged at the cuffs, smoothing them out. "Would be better if you actually wore your own clothing for once, though." Kedzie briefly smiled pointedly at the boots, poking at Vera's hair for a few minor adjustments. "Now, be safe and all that, especially if he takes you back to his place for-"
   "Oh, yes. I'll be back later, Kedzie." Vera kissed her cheek as she would a sister, and then swept by her and out the door.
   Kaidan was waiting very patiently, leaning against the wall across the hall with his hands still stuffed in his pockets. Vera caught the remnants of his blush before he recovered completely at the sight of her. He pushed himself off the wall, his smile meeting his brown eyes. Vera bashfully brushed a piece of hair behind her ear as he stepped close to her. Again, there was that split second of anxiety at his close proximity, but before Vera could question it, the feeling was gone again. Only the gentle touch in his eyes was there, comforting her in ways she'd never experienced before.
   "Much better," He finally commented softly, offering her his arm.
   She smiled, happily looping her arm through his. Vera had half a mind to put her head on his shoulder she was so comfortable with his touch. This was all so new and different compared to Connor, and Vera was loving every second of it. Maybe those stories were true, Mom. She thought almost ironically as Kaidan led her down the stairs.
   "See, now? Stairs aren't scary in the slightest." Kaidan taunted playfully.
   "Not as long as you're there to catch me if I happen to fall." Vera said without thinking, and her skin went cold at her own words.
   But, instead of being awkward and who knows what else, Kaidan laughed. It wasn't even an uneasy laugh that would break the tension, no. It was a genuine laugh that filled Vera's chest with pure exhilaration and joy. He grinned at her, sending her heart flying off again.
   "Then let's hope that I'm always around…" Kaidan trailed off, his grin fading as if his own words were misspoken, regretted.
   She lowered her eyebrows, a bit puzzled at his words and the way his mood darkened so quickly. Although, Vera didn't get a chance to ask him about it since they were suddenly upon the café. She blinked, not sure how they could've gotten there so fast, but she didn't question it much as Kaidan pulled out a chair for her.
   The café, Apollo's, was a small, quaint little place in the Presidium. It had a couple round tables with no less than two, high-backed chairs waiting underneath. A bar was along one wall, the rest of the café surrounded by the scenery of the Presidium. It was so open and airy, something Vera didn't expect to find on the Citadel. There was a natural vibe apparent in the atmosphere, making Vera a bit homesick as she watched the fountains dance out across the lake. A lake, she thought with fascination as her green eyes swept across the reflective, calm surface interrupted every now and then by the spurt of a fountain.
   Kaidan watched her awed face with a small smirk. He sat down across from her, putting his elbows on the table with his hands hugging his arms. Vera, her hands in her lap, turned her head this way and that to take it all in.
   "I didn't realize you've never been to the Presidium." He commented.
   "That obvious, huh?" Vera said with a slightly embarrassed smile as she looked back at Kaidan.
   "It is a sight, though, isn't it?" Kaidan murmured, glancing around himself. "So, you must be fairly new to the Citadel if you haven't even seen the Presidium before."
   "Oh, yeah." answered Vera. "Only got here about a month ago. Wish I had gotten here sooner, though. I didn't realize I was missing out on so much."
   Kaidan nodded, waving down an asari waitress. She was at their table in seconds, her flirtatious smile aimed at Kaidan, not even batting an eye at Vera. Vera snarled on the inside, unexpectedly jealous of this asari's beauty. Then again, all asari were beautiful. And Vera suddenly discovered that she disliked the asari very much as this one threw herself at Kaidan, at her date.
   "What can I get for you, hon?" The asari cooed at him, her sky-blue skin looking luminous under the Presidium lights.
   "You guys still have those cheese sticks?" Kaidan asked back, his eyes not leaving Vera's.
   Vera smiled with a rare sense of haughtiness. Powered by Kaidan's complete indifference toward the attractive asari, Vera reached across the table and fearlessly took his hand in hers. He raised his brows slightly, but played along by covering their hands with his other one. Vera was pretty sure that her heart exploded at this point. The asari looked between Kaidan and their entwined hands, still not looking at Vera; her pretty face openly betrayed her disappointment as she grumbled an affirmation before stalking away.
   "Thank you," Kaidan breathed once the asari was gone, raising their clasped hands a bit from the table in reference. "You don't know how annoying that is, to be hit on all the time."
   "Aw, poor baby." Vera teased, her words coming from that small space in her heart saved for specific, rare men who made her feel so free. Like Kaidan. And Connor. "That must be all sorts of awful. I can't even imagine."
   "Hey, now." Kaidan said, his tone teasingly defensive. "I would think you could relate. I mean, look at you, with your simple, genuine beauty. You don't see that much nowadays." Vera blushed immediately, curling her free hand up and putting her fingers against her lips. "If only I met you sooner than the day before I leave."
   Her breath whooshed out and skin went cold once more as her hand dropped to the table. Kaidan sighed, a sad and regret-filled smile on his handsome face with his eyes lowered to look at their hands. Vera noticed that she loved the way his unnaturally long eyelashes, which most girls would kill for, brushed the tops of her cheeks, and how it was the most beautiful sight she'd ever seen.
   Once her thoughts strayed back to his words, Vera tilted her head, not very sure she heard him right. She nearly asked why he was leaving when she remembered that he was with the Alliance Navy. Of course he was going to leave. He was a Navy man, a man with duties to the Alliance.
   "Leave…?" She repeated instead, her voice threaded with distress. "So soon?"
   "I've actually been on shore leave for a few weeks now." It was like he was guilty for being on the Citadel for so long the way he spoke about it. "But, I'm glad I met you regardless. I'm not going to lie, Vera," Kaidan leaned forward, still holding her hand between his securely. "I've never felt this way about anyone, and a near-stranger, no less. There's something there, between us…do you feel it, too?"
   "I was never one to believe in 'love at first sight' or anything like that," Vera agreed, her eyes bouncing between their hands and his intense eyes, pausing on his gaze as she said the word 'love' and gauging his reaction (which, there wasn't really one). "But I think I'm beginning to be proved wrong by the universe itself."
   He smiled again, rubbing her hand gently with his thumb. Vera's heart sped up drastically at each stroke, and she nearly flew across the table to meet her lips to his. Slow it down, Vera. She told herself as she tried to think of something to say. But, she was enjoying the moment as it was; their hands knotted together in the serene silence, just being with this man who was beginning to change absolutely everything.
   Kaidan opened his mouth to say something when someone called his name. He looked over her shoulder, and Vera turned to follow his gaze. A group of fellow Navy men, confirmed by their attire, were standing together at the top of one of the many flights of stairs. A few were making catcalls at him, gesturing to Vera while another, more serious one was waving at him to join them. Vera turned back to see Kaidan's lips set in a hard line as the sounds of whistling and howls carried across the Presidium. Vera reddened almost right away.
   "Oh, my." She whispered. "I assume those, ahem, mature fellows are here to take you away?"
   "I'm sorry, really." Kaidan told her, his hard eyes still glaring behind her till the wolf-whistles subsided into soft jeers. "Most are still just boys, unfortunately. They haven't had war to harden them yet, which is a good thing, I suppose. Hopefully, it stays that way."
   "Then, why do you have to leave if there's no war or anything?" Vera questioned, desperate for any reason to have him linger even if she did sound a little daft.
   "There's always something going on, Vera." He answered, his smirk revealing that he knew exactly what she was doing. "Just little things, most of the time." Here, he brought her hand to his lips, giving it a gentle kiss. "Nothing you should be worried about."
   She bowed her head, feeling absolutely giddy as he put their hands back on the table. Vera was sure that he could hear her heart pounding at this point because that was all she could hear.
   "I'll-I'll still worry, you know." Vera sputtered, her words tumbling out without thought. "That's just how I am."
   "Well, I'd love to find out more about 'how you are' when I come back." Kaidan told her. "And I'll be sure to vid-call you whenever I can. Speaking of which…"
   Kaidan relinquished his hold with one of his hands. His omni-tool appeared on his forearm, the orange light giving off a soft glow. Vera's own omni-tool popped up, causing her to start slightly. Kaidan put his forearm against hers, and the two omni-tools exchanged numbers, if you will. She relished in the way his arm felt against hers, warm and secure. It made her sigh in longing.
   "There we go," He announced, pulling his arms back to brush his fingers across the holo-screens before both of their tools faded away. "I'll be sure to call as soon as possible. And I really am sorry that we didn't meet sooner. I hate to just up and leave you like this…"
   "We all have duties to one thing or the other, Kaidan." Vera very much enjoyed the way his name tasted in her mouth, and she wondered why she hadn't said it more often. "And it's the entire galaxy in your case. I understand." Though, I do wish we met earlier, but better late than never, right?
   "Hey-oh, Alenko! Let's go!" A red-headed recruit shouted. "You can schmooze later, but we gotta shove off."
   Vera blushed again as Kaidan's fellow troops began their howling anew. Kaidan huffed sharply through his nose, that cute look of irritation back on his face. That only goaded the men on, their shouts and catcalls carrying all too easily in the open space. The few late night commuters strolling about the Commons gave pause, looking between the Navy men and the couple with slight annoyance before continuing on their way. Vera ducked down, covering her hot face with her hands.
   "You better go before they come and get you." She mumbled behind her fingers. "I don't even want to imagine what that would look like."
   "Me either," Kaidan huffed, his narrowed eyes aimed over her shoulder. "So I suppose I'll give them what they want."
   He sighed, though this time it was out of regret rather than rage. His rough fingers reached up, brushing her cheek softly. Vera closed her eyes, not wanting the moment to ever end. But, then Kaidan's fingers were gone from her face and her hands. She opened her eyes to see him stand up. He gestured for his comrades to wait a second, which got an impatient profanity from one of them that would've made even Kedzie's ears red.
   "I'll call as soon as I can, Vera. Promise." Kaidan swore, covering her hand with his briefly before a new hand slapped on his back.
   "Don't make me drag you by your ear, Alenko!" The same red-head from before was pulling at Kaidan's shirt from behind with a silly smile stretched across his young face. "Don't want to keep Cap'n waiting, do we?" Then, he looked at Vera for the first time, his bright blue eyes widening. "Well, well, I can see why you wanted to stay now."
   "Go on, Peerce." Kaidan snarled, but Vera could spy a playful grin playing about his lips. "I'll be right with you guys-"
   "Oh, no, no." Peerce broke in, pinching Kaidan's ear between his thumb and forefinger. "I didn't want to have to do this, but you've given me no choice." He nodded down at Vera with a smirk. "Ma'am, I'll be sure that he comes home in one piece."
   "Peerce-!" Kaidan snapped, shooting Vera a look of assurance, telling her with his eyes that she didn't need to worry about such a thing at all.
   "Have a nice night, now." The young naval officer strode away with a bad-tempered Kaidan in tow.
   "Damn it, Peerce, I swear I would toss you in there air if I didn't have such a migraine—" What does he mean by that? "Ow! Not so hard! As soon as I can, Vera, as soon as-!"
   The rest of his words were overrun by the crowd of his comrades that swarmed him when they finally reached at the top of the stairs. She laughed upon seeing his arm shoot up in a wave good-bye among the small but mighty throng of naval men. Vera waved back, though she wasn't sure he saw it. They went down a hallway, toward the elevators, and were gone, taking all sound with them and leaving her in a painful silence.
   Vera stared down at her hands, suddenly overwhelmed with loneliness. The sounds of the fountains were somewhat comforting, though. She played with her fingers distractedly, at a loss of what to do next. Not that she didn't miss Kedzie, but Vera didn't really feel like heading back home. At the same time, though, she didn't want to just sit here by herself. The Citadel was still a new place to her, and who knows what kind of people sulked around at this hour.
   She was still sitting there, contemplating and trying not to think of Kaidan not coming back to her when the asari dropped down a plate of still-steaming cheese sticks. Vera started, staring with shock at the cheese sticks like they were the asari's own tentacles, which then made Vera think of the stir-fry that Kedzie was making with the tentacles replaced with something else. She forgot all about those. The waitress snorted, putting a hand on her curvy hip.
   "Scared him away, did you?" She gave a quick, dry laugh, and sauntered away snootily.
   Vera glared after her, her hatred for the asari growing with each sway of the waitress's hips. But, she knew better than to snap back at her. It was common knowledge that all asari were biotically gifted, and Vera had no way to defend herself from a biotic attack. Oh sure, biotics were rarely seen back on New Canton, but there were a few colonists that came back with the implants. She quickly harbored an only-slightly-based-on-feared respect for the strange, yet beautiful, biotics.
   Instead, she simmered and decided to be the mature one. She hated being the mature one.
   Her glare moved down to the cheese sticks, and she had a brief moment of nostalgia of eating these rarities back home. Vera remembered them being all warm, crunchy and gooey, and she was sure that these would be the same. But, something inside her wouldn't let her eat them. The thought of bring one to her lips, in fact, left her feeling nauseated.
   With a slight sneer at the plate, Vera stood up and slid her chair back under the table with a firm shove. She turned and clomped up the stairs toward the elevators. It wasn't until she was at the stop of the steps that she heard the asari shouting after her for not paying.
   Vera almost turned around and showed the asari how wonderful her middle fingers were, but she just pretended to ignore the asari's curses. She did, however, glance over her shoulder to see if the asari was charging after Vera with her hands clouded blue with biotics. The asari was still shouting, but she was still at the table with no strand of biotics in sight. Vera wrinkled up her nose in a satisfied smirk before losing sight of the café and fuming asari as she rounded the corner.
   Her resolve was gone, however, by the time she was alone in the elevator. Vera's shoulders drooped, a hand slapped to her face in despair. She had to choke back a sob, and it racked her whole body rather painfully.
   Thankfully, though, it wasn't silent anymore. The speakers in the elevator were blaring something about a whole company of Alliance Marines that were killed by thresher maws on Akuze in the last few weeks of the previous year, but one member of the company, a Catelyn Shepard, managed to survive, and how they were erecting a memorial to remember the slaughtered by. Vera thought that depressing for the few seconds that her mind let her think of something other than Kaidan and what terrible things could happen to him. The newscast was then interrupted by a different newscast, and Vera's mind wandered absently until the elevator opened again.
   With her arms tightly hugging herself, Vera stepped out and briskly walked up towards her apartment. She skipped the steps two at a time, wanting nothing more than to grab a galleon of rocky road with a large spoon and indulge forever. As pathetic as that may be, it will be satisfying. Vera told herself as she stalked into the apartment.
   Kedzie, who was sprawled across the sofa and watching one of the older Blasto movies, stretched her head back over the headrest to see Vera upside down as she came inside.
   "Well, hey there. Wasn't expecting you back so soon." Kedzie patted the cushion next to her, moving her legs to the coffee table that was covered with the aftermath of Kedzie's meal: her plate with barely a crumb left on the surface, at least three forks, a handful of napkins, and even the pot itself that only had a puddle of sauce left on the bottom.
   Vera made a face at the mess, but her emotional state didn't care much for the muddle at the moment. It wasn't the worst Kedzie had left lying around, anyway. Vera wouldn't even dare to get into that. Instead, she tossed her head back against the headrest, staring up at the ceiling. Kedzie paused the movie with her omni-tool and then put a hand on her friend's leg.
   "What happened, dear?" Kedzie asked sincerely, her brow furrowed slightly, but it abruptly narrowed as a thought crossed her mind. "Did he stand you up? Leave you there for some other chick? Was this some joke to him, or-?"
   "No, Keds." Vera laughed dryly, actually somewhat amused by Kedzie's suggestions. "He had to leave."
   Kedzie pursed her lips, a tick of hers she did when annoyed. She withdrew her hand and pulled her legs in, crossing them with her hands in her lap. Her eyebrow shot up suspiciously.
   "Leave, huh?" She muttered, when she realized what Vera meant. "Oh. Oh. He got called back to duty or something?"
   "Uh-huh," Vera confirmed as she crossed her own legs. "I had to go through the same thought process."
   "And so he just decided to take you out to tell you…that he's leaving for God knows how long?" Kedzie questioned, narrowing her eyes again. "That's kinda a douche-move."
   "He apologized for that, don't worry." murmured Vera, pulling her legs up to her chest with her chin on her knees. "Kaidan promised to call me as soon as he could, and he was really sorry about, well, everything. But still…"
   Kedzie made a dissatisfied noise in the back of her throat, but didn't say anything. She draped an arm across Vera's shoulders and released a long sigh.
   "So…rocky road?" said Kedzie.
   "You read my freakin' mind."
***
   During their indulgence of a whole galleon of rocky road that Kedzie just happened to have around, Vera went through the whole date with her. She was overcome with giggles when telling Kedzie about how she refused to pay and left with the fear of being attacked by an asari. Kedzie laughed so hard that ice cream painfully shot from her nose, dripping into her lap with a disgustingly thick consistency.
   "Ugh, damn it, Vera. Look what you did!" Kedzie cried with another laugh, grabbing a used napkin from the table to clean her face and hands. "But, I bet it was that bitch Olania, or whatever her name is. I mean, it's kinda expected for asari to be promiscuous, but that one is just a straight up whore, from what I hear. Melds minds with whatever moves."
   "Don't be stereotypical," Vera scolded, finishing off the last of the ice cream with one more spoonful. "But, she was a whorish bitch, flaunting herself at Kaidan like that with me right there. I mean, seriously! Who does that but a whorish bitch?"
   "Ah, you realize that you've said this Kaidan's name like any time you could, right?" Kedzie pointed out before discovering that the ice cream was gone with a disgruntled expression.
   Vera gave an embarrassed shrug, fingering the spoon bashfully. She grumbled something incoherent as Kedzie snatched the spoon from her.
   "No, it's actually really cute." Kedzie said while she tossing the spoons into the sink. "I know it's been awhile since we've been together, but I cannot remember another time where you've been so excited and down in the dumps at the same time." Even with Connor. Kedzie thought, knowing much better than to do that again. "It's great, really."
   "You really think so?" Vera asked, twirling a strand of her light brown hair dreamily. "There's just something about him, Keds, that makes me…whole again. I know I sound like a creep, and it helps immensely that he feels the same way, and he may be a complete stranger, but I'm finding out that I ache when he's not around. He makes me free, makes me say things and do things I normally wouldn't do, which isn't necessarily a bad thing-"
   "My God, Vera. You met the guy today." Kedzie broke in with a smile, leaning her butt against the counter and crossing her arms. "How can you feel this way already?"
   Vera chewed on her bottom lip, seriously contemplating Kedzie's question. It baffled her just as much as Kedzie. Her finger went limp, the strand of hair bouncing back to her shoulder. Vera brought her eyebrows together, racking her mind to think of a logical answer, when there obviously wasn't one other than…
   "Love at first sight?" Vera suggested, her voice rising up higher at the end of the question than necessary.
   They both held their composure for a good, and rather impressive, three seconds before completely bursting into uncontrollable laughter. Kedzie collapsed onto her hands and knees, her snorts punctuating every gasp of breath while Vera slammed her head down onto the sofa, a hand over her mouth. Both lost the ability to breathe correctly for a while, but Vera's laughter abruptly died out long before Kedzie's, who was now lying on her stomach, pounding her fists on the floor.
   Vera sat back up, her brow furrowed again as she patiently waited for Kedzie's snorts to subside. She ran a hand through her hair, staring at some unseen point on the wall with so much intensity that it cut Kedzie's laughter short when she looked up at her friend. Kedzie took in a deep breath, pushing herself up onto her elbows.
   "Wait, you were serious?" Kedzie questioned, her expression only slightly amused.
   "I…" Vera turned her head to meet Kedzie's eyes, and Kedzie could see the answer clear as day in Vera's intense green eyes. "I think so."
   Kedzie said nothing, her messy blonde pair sticking up in odd places from her run-in with the floor. Her brown eyes were wide with either surprise or shock, Vera wasn't sure which, and her lips were even parted into a perfect 'o'. Vera blinked, her mind completely blown by Kedzie's speechlessness. Never before had Kedzie been at a lost for words, and it gave Vera a twinge of satisfaction to know that she caused it. Vera sighed through her nose, a sound of exhaustion. And yearning. And a bunch of other things that she couldn't exactly pinpoint.
   "I think I'm in love with him, Kedzie." Vera finally confessed in a hushed whisper, her face scrunched in confusion and hesitation yet threaded with pangs of clarity and certainty at the same time. "Oh, God. I'm so beyond confused." She put her knuckles against her warm forehead. "I think I'm gonna go to bed now."
   Kedzie was still sprawled on the floor, staring open-mouthed at her friend. Vera slowly untucked her legs and stumbled across the room to the dark, inviting bedroom. Just as she was collapsing onto the bed belly-first, fully clothed, Kedzie came in after her. Her fists were tight on her cocked hips, completely recovered from her silent spell.
   "What do you mean by that?" demanded Kedzie, eyes narrowed with her lips pursed again. "You don't believe in that stuff, do you?"
   Vera groaned, rolling onto her side. She propped her head on her hand, lazily rolling her gaze at Kedzie, looming in the doorway. Vera tossed her other hand in the air in a shrug, bringing her palm back down with a slap onto the mattress. Kedzie raised her eyebrows, unimpressed, but relaxed her arms in defeat.
   "I didn't before, honest." Vera called as Kedzie went back into the other room to turn off the light, which she could've done with her omni-tool. "But after meeting Kaidan…I don't know, Keds. I really just don't know."
   She flopped back on her belly, her arms and legs stretched out with fingers splayed over the sheets. Vera heard Kedzie mumble something, probably a mocking curse, before she heard the rustle of sheets and the fluffing of pillows meaning that Kedzie was now on her own bed.
   "We can talk about it later, I suppose." Kedzie muttered, her voice muffled as she pulled her shirt over her head to sleep in her sweats and sports bra.
   "What is there to talk about, Keds?" Vera snapped, her voice suddenly harsh as she pushed herself up on her hands. "I don't even…" She screamed out of frustration, throwing her pillow violently across the room only to have it very anticlimactically slide down the wall and crumble to the floor. "I just don't know, okay! I said I think I love him. It's not like I'm going dress shopping or anything, s-so-!"
   She whimpered, her anger washing out of her in a sob. Vera brought her fingers to her head, pulling back her hair and digging her nails into her scalp. Kedzie was at her side in seconds, hands warily dancing about, but not touching her hysterical friend. Guilt ran through Kedzie's veins as she took in Vera's pure fear, the terror that she'd held in all day, etched into her pretty, simple features.
   "I'm, I'm terrified, Kedzie." Vera whispered, her voice almost too soft to even consider a whisper. "Part of me is so scared of what he might actually be, if Kaidan isn't what he seems to be. What if…" Vera's petrified eyes were swimming in her tears, twinkling in the light peeking through the slats of the window blinds as she met Kedzie's concerned gaze. Her voice got even quieter, causing Kedzie to lean forward so their heads were nearly touching; Kedzie was now holding Vera's shaking hands. "What if he's just like, like Connor? What if-"
   Here, Vera paused and pried one of her hands free to begin rolling up her sleeve.
   "Vera, please, no." Kedzie gasped, clasping her hands over Vera's before the sleeve was curled above her shoulder. "You don't have to show anything, not like this…"
   But Vera cried out, yanking the rest of the sleeve up to reveal her naked, scarred shoulder. Kedzie froze, trying to stare at anything but Vera's skin. But, it was all her brown eyes could lock onto.
   Vera's beautifully pale skin was crisscrossed with all varieties of cuts: long, short, thin, wide, shallow, and deep. They layered over each other, making her skin look like a patchwork of irregular slashes that mysteriously seemed to create a distinct pattern. A horrifyingly perfect pattern of innumerous scars. And that was just one section of it, one shoulder, not even considering her thighs and spine…
   Kedzie choked back a sob of her own, covering her mouth with her hand. It was the first time she'd ever seen Vera's scars, something she never thought she'd lay her eyes on. Kedzie felt her stomach tighten, not from nausea, but from complete pity, anguish, and most of all, rage. How dare someone do this to someone else, especially someone like sweet, innocent Vera. It was inhumane, insane even. And seeing them now, as Vera was completely losing it, it felt wrong, inappropriately timed. Just…not right.
   "What if he does this?!" shrieked Vera, her tears racing down her cheeks as she raked her nails over her shoulder, sending red welts to rise and highlight a few of her scars. "What if he does worse, Kedzie? I don't think I could handle it!"
   "Hush now," Kedzie murmured, finally finding her sorrow-cracked voice; it was a tone Vera never heard from her. "Everything's alright now."
   Kedzie gently rolled Vera's sleeve back down, tugging it snuggly back into place. She then pulled Vera into a hug, Vera's head resting on Kedzie's shoulder. Kedzie put a gentle hand on Vera's head, holding her as the sobs slowly began to subside. Vera melted into her friend's embrace, wrapping her arms securely around Kedzie's bare, slimly muscular waist.
   "I'm sorry," Kedzie whispered into Vera's hair, silent tears staining her face. "I'm sorry for making you think like this, for going too far, and I swear to God that I won't let anything like what Connor did happen ever again, Vera. I promise."
   And Vera believed her as she clutched to Kedzie helplessly, her heart screaming and her memories flashing from the now to the then. Only her grasp on Kedzie kept her from slipping totally back into the past, back into Connor's bloody arms, and Vera held on till the morning light desperately.

Description
Before the Worst, An Origin Story
WARNING: Slight Language
2
   It took every fiber of Vera's being not to scream and force the door to slide back closed with her own hands because it would take too long for the door to close itself (which, wasn't necessarily true since the doors slid open and closed within a blink of an eye, but it still wouldn't be fast enough for Vera). Even then she released a little cry, the sound barely issuing from her slightly parted lips. Her skin went cold, and she was very grateful that the hoodie she was wearing was very loose as her whole body went up in goose bumps.
   "Vera," Kaidan said with a smile that reflected what she thought as relief, which only added to her goose pimples.
   "K-kaidan!" Vera sputtered, crossing her arms across her chest just for good measure. "What, what are you doing here?"
   "I know, you must think me as some kind of stalker, right?" No, not really. "But I just had to see you again."
   At the sound of Kedzie's muffled sniggers, Vera sharply turned her head back to narrow her green eyes threateningly at her friend. Kedzie's giggles paused at Vera's glare, but quickly continued on, not intimidated in the least. When Vera turned back to Kaidan, he was glancing over Vera's shoulder at Kedzie.
   "Why don't we step out for a moment, hm?" Vera quickly suggested, putting a timid hand on Kaidan's shoulder to push him out into the hallway.
   The last thing Vera needed was Kedzie to ruin this for her.
   "Was I interrupting something?" He asked, truly concerned if he did indeed interrupt something.
   Vera noticed that her hand was still on his shoulder, and, more importantly, that neither had a problem with it being there. Her fingers curled in, ready to withdraw her touch, but part of her wanted it to stay. Before Vera could lose her mind over whether she should keep her hand on his shoulder or not, she remembered that he asked her something and that she was expected to answer.
   "Oh, no, no." She assured, finally deciding to bring her hand back down to her side albeit with hesitation. "My friend and I were just making some dinner…" And, before Vera could think about how Kedzie would react to this, which would be with much annoyance, she asked, "Would you like to join us?"
   His face lit up immediately, and Vera knew she had her answer before he spoke. But, then she realized what she just asked. She just escaped into the hallway to get away from Kedzie, and now Vera was inviting Kaidan back inside to have dinner with them both?
   "If it's not a bother, I'd love to-"
   "It is," Vera shouted suddenly, putting her hand back on his shoulder, but with more force behind it as he stepped forward expectantly.
   His brown eyes flashed with confusion, and then hurt, and then confusion and hurt. Vera was never very good at talking with human men, even before Connor came around. But, with Connor, it became surprisingly easy to speak with him, natural even, as they spent more time together.
   It appeared that talking with Kaidan was a totally different thing. Her tongue felt like it was literally tied in a knot, and her head, she discovered, became all clouded and foggy around him. Vera couldn't think straight in this barely-an-acquaintance's presence.
   She never believed in any of the fairytales her mother used to tell her back when Vera's mother actually was a mother. She didn't think 'true love' or 'love at first sight' were real. She thought it childish and petty, even as a child herself. It was so irrational, yet here was this man sending her heart flying, drying her throat up and leaving her absolutely breathless.
   "No," She corrected quickly, trying so hard to fix everything. No way she was losing him now. "It's just that, well, I'm not so sure that…" Goodness, she was making things worse, if anything.
   Kaidan looked between her touch and her eyes, his eyebrows knit together with puzzlement. Oh, how Vera wished she could smooth out the creases in his forehead with a gentle brush of her fingers…
   Focus, Vera!
   "I-I just remembered that my friend, she's sick. She's very sick-" Vera scoffed on the inside at her attempt at a lie, not believing her own words in the slightest.
   "Well, then how about I take you out somewhere?" Kaidan suggested, his face now smooth with a smirk as he saved Vera's poor attempt at mending the situation. "I know it's late, but there's this little café in the Commons that is open twenty-four-seven…if you're interested, I mean."
   Her first thought was, In this? She plucked at the hoodie and fluffed at her hair with her nose scrunched up—and oh my goodness, he just asked her out on a date. Vera's hands dropped, her fingers catching slightly in her still-damp hair and bringing a few auburn-brown strands with it. Her green eyes widened and blinked a few times, still processing what she had just heard him say. And he probably thought her rude for just staring at him incredulously after he just asked her out while she was just stunned, speechless even.
   "Of course, yeah!" Vera cried when she finally found her voice, a smile breaking across her face as she bit back another scream, but now for a completely different reason. "Oh, but I'll have to change first."
   "I didn't want to say anything…" teased Kaidan, putting a joking finger to his pursed lips.
   Hah, if only you knew that I wasn't wearing anything under it, Vera thought with a nervous laugh. There was a split second where her heart was frozen with uncertainty, with fear that Kaidan would harm her. It frightened her so much that she nearly broke down into tears right then. But, it was gone as soon as it appeared, leaving a strange sense of safety in his company. I can trust him. He won't hurt me. Vera thought to herself while thinking, You don't know that, you moron! You don't even know the guy. You don't know anything about him except his name and the fact that he's a handsome man, at the same time. Surprisingly, the former thoughts won over with ease.
   She must've been lonelier than she thought.
   Kaidan grinned behind his finger, and there was nothing to stop the blush this time as it crept up her neck and flushed her face with a pale red. She wrapped her arms around herself, turning slightly away back towards the door.
   "I'll be right back." Vera murmured shyly, stumbling a bit as she backed away blindly, her eyes still latched onto his gaze.
   "I'll be right here," Kaidan replied, putting his hands in his pockets with that charming smirk still on his lips.
   Vera giggled, completely drunk on his presence as she slapped her hand blindly on the door. Her touch eventually found the button, and the door jumped apart, unexpected and fast. Vera yelped, nearly falling through the now open space, but not before Kaidan's arms were catching her. Her own arms somehow found themselves around his neck, stiffened with the adrenaline released from her oh-so-life-threatening fall.
   "What the-?!"
   Kedzie's curse was lost to Vera at the moment. She was only taking in his face that was mere inches from hers. Her green eyes held his brown eyes, both not sure of what to do next. His lips just a breath away…
   It was only then did Vera realize that her chest was pressed against Kaidan's, and they had unconsciously and entirely skipped first base and just slid right into second with a flurry of innocent, ignorant dust.
   "Gah!" gasped Vera, tumbling out of his grasp with great speed, but not enough.
   This time, Kaidan didn't need an explanation for this other episode of hers. He stood up, rigid with a red face and a mortified expression. Oh, wonderful. So he did feel her…Oh, good God. Vera thought, completely frozen with humiliation with her hand clasped to her chest.
   "I'll wait outside for you, okay?" Kaidan finally mumbled without meeting her eyes, gratefully escaping back into the hallway with the door sliding shut behind him.
   Vera was still stuck to the floor, like her feet were cemented in heavy, stubborn concrete blocks. Her mouth was slightly agape, one hand still clutching the fabric of the hoodie on her chest. She blinked, pulled out of her trance by the toils of laughter from Kedzie.
   "Oh, my God. You must really like this guy!" Kedzie wheezed between her gasping laughs. "Like a whole fuck ton-"
   A snort overpowered the rest of Kedzie's statement, which only made her laugh even more. Vera slowly turned her head to look over at her friend in the kitchen with an expression of pure exasperation. Kedzie was bent over, holding her stomach with a spoon in one hand. Her pale blonde hair was swept over her shoulder, obscuring her face from Vera's view, but Vera could picture Kedzie's face perfectly. Her pale eyes were scrunched shut, tears probably leaking from them at this point. Kedzie's nose would be just as scrunched, snorts issuing from the nostrils every now and then. And of course, her laughter itself was something that started from her toes and jigged up to her mouth.
   Kedzie's laughter was a beautiful thing, in all honesty, and Vera knew she couldn't stay upset that long with Kedzie in the first place. She huffed, managing to snatch a pillow from the sofa and toss it angrily at Kedzie before her irritation left her system. Kedzie paused mid-snort, dropping to the floor to miss the projectile that soared over her head and landed on the stove with a sizzle.
   "Vera!" Kedzie scolded as she jumped back up, picking at the pillow before it caught fire.
   "Sorry!" Vera shouted back, evading guiltily into the sanctuary of their bedroom. "But I have to change!"
   Kedzie yelled something else and Vera saw a flash of flame, but it became muffled and dark behind the closed bedroom door. She stood there for a second, soaking in the feelings of elation and purging those of awkwardness and slight fear. Her eyes opened, bright and excited, and Vera dashed into the closet the two women shared. Of course, Kedzie didn't have much other than the essentials, and so Vera's clothing took up the bulk of the closet.
   Vera flicked through her clothes, finding nothing that seemed to meet her needs. This was too big, this one not the right color, and then this one was just ugly in general. Finally, Vera decided on a plain white shirt with black, cuffed sleeves that ended just above her elbow. After putting on the appropriate undergarments, Vera pulled the shirt over her head and yanked up some black pants. She ran her fingers through her light brown hair that was barely damp now as she shoved her feet into a pair of Kedzie's black calf-high boots. She glanced at herself in the mirror hanging in the closet, satisfied with her appearance, before walking back into the main room.
   "You think this is appropriate?" Vera asked, adjusting the cuffs of her shirt.
   "Do you really think I give a damn?" Kedzie asked bitterly, beating the slightly smoking pillow against the countertop with her eyes down. "Almost set the goddamn apartment on fire and all you care about is-" Kedzie paused in her grumbling and pillow beating to look up reproachfully at Vera, but was stopped short by Vera's sincere, apologetic look. "Dang, Vera. It's just dinner at a café."
   "Oh, goodness, it is too much, isn't it?" Vera flushed and fluttered her hands, turning back begin the excavation through her pile of clothes again.
   "No, no! It's totally appropriate." assured Kedzie, dropping the pillow on the counter and moving to her friend. She tugged at the cuffs, smoothing them out. "Would be better if you actually wore your own clothing for once, though." Kedzie briefly smiled pointedly at the boots, poking at Vera's hair for a few minor adjustments. "Now, be safe and all that, especially if he takes you back to his place for-"
   "Oh, yes. I'll be back later, Kedzie." Vera kissed her cheek as she would a sister, and then swept by her and out the door.
   Kaidan was waiting very patiently, leaning against the wall across the hall with his hands still stuffed in his pockets. Vera caught the remnants of his blush before he recovered completely at the sight of her. He pushed himself off the wall, his smile meeting his brown eyes. Vera bashfully brushed a piece of hair behind her ear as he stepped close to her. Again, there was that split second of anxiety at his close proximity, but before Vera could question it, the feeling was gone again. Only the gentle touch in his eyes was there, comforting her in ways she'd never experienced before.
   "Much better," He finally commented softly, offering her his arm.
   She smiled, happily looping her arm through his. Vera had half a mind to put her head on his shoulder she was so comfortable with his touch. This was all so new and different compared to Connor, and Vera was loving every second of it. Maybe those stories were true, Mom. She thought almost ironically as Kaidan led her down the stairs.
   "See, now? Stairs aren't scary in the slightest." Kaidan taunted playfully.
   "Not as long as you're there to catch me if I happen to fall." Vera said without thinking, and her skin went cold at her own words.
   But, instead of being awkward and who knows what else, Kaidan laughed. It wasn't even an uneasy laugh that would break the tension, no. It was a genuine laugh that filled Vera's chest with pure exhilaration and joy. He grinned at her, sending her heart flying off again.
   "Then let's hope that I'm always around…" Kaidan trailed off, his grin fading as if his own words were misspoken, regretted.
   She lowered her eyebrows, a bit puzzled at his words and the way his mood darkened so quickly. Although, Vera didn't get a chance to ask him about it since they were suddenly upon the café. She blinked, not sure how they could've gotten there so fast, but she didn't question it much as Kaidan pulled out a chair for her.
   The café, Apollo's, was a small, quaint little place in the Presidium. It had a couple round tables with no less than two, high-backed chairs waiting underneath. A bar was along one wall, the rest of the café surrounded by the scenery of the Presidium. It was so open and airy, something Vera didn't expect to find on the Citadel. There was a natural vibe apparent in the atmosphere, making Vera a bit homesick as she watched the fountains dance out across the lake. A lake, she thought with fascination as her green eyes swept across the reflective, calm surface interrupted every now and then by the spurt of a fountain.
   Kaidan watched her awed face with a small smirk. He sat down across from her, putting his elbows on the table with his hands hugging his arms. Vera, her hands in her lap, turned her head this way and that to take it all in.
   "I didn't realize you've never been to the Presidium." He commented.
   "That obvious, huh?" Vera said with a slightly embarrassed smile as she looked back at Kaidan.
   "It is a sight, though, isn't it?" Kaidan murmured, glancing around himself. "So, you must be fairly new to the Citadel if you haven't even seen the Presidium before."
   "Oh, yeah." answered Vera. "Only got here about a month ago. Wish I had gotten here sooner, though. I didn't realize I was missing out on so much."
   Kaidan nodded, waving down an asari waitress. She was at their table in seconds, her flirtatious smile aimed at Kaidan, not even batting an eye at Vera. Vera snarled on the inside, unexpectedly jealous of this asari's beauty. Then again, all asari were beautiful. And Vera suddenly discovered that she disliked the asari very much as this one threw herself at Kaidan, at her date.
   "What can I get for you, hon?" The asari cooed at him, her sky-blue skin looking luminous under the Presidium lights.
   "You guys still have those cheese sticks?" Kaidan asked back, his eyes not leaving Vera's.
   Vera smiled with a rare sense of haughtiness. Powered by Kaidan's complete indifference toward the attractive asari, Vera reached across the table and fearlessly took his hand in hers. He raised his brows slightly, but played along by covering their hands with his other one. Vera was pretty sure that her heart exploded at this point. The asari looked between Kaidan and their entwined hands, still not looking at Vera; her pretty face openly betrayed her disappointment as she grumbled an affirmation before stalking away.
   "Thank you," Kaidan breathed once the asari was gone, raising their clasped hands a bit from the table in reference. "You don't know how annoying that is, to be hit on all the time."
   "Aw, poor baby." Vera teased, her words coming from that small space in her heart saved for specific, rare men who made her feel so free. Like Kaidan. And Connor. "That must be all sorts of awful. I can't even imagine."
   "Hey, now." Kaidan said, his tone teasingly defensive. "I would think you could relate. I mean, look at you, with your simple, genuine beauty. You don't see that much nowadays." Vera blushed immediately, curling her free hand up and putting her fingers against her lips. "If only I met you sooner than the day before I leave."
   Her breath whooshed out and skin went cold once more as her hand dropped to the table. Kaidan sighed, a sad and regret-filled smile on his handsome face with his eyes lowered to look at their hands. Vera noticed that she loved the way his unnaturally long eyelashes, which most girls would kill for, brushed the tops of her cheeks, and how it was the most beautiful sight she'd ever seen.
   Once her thoughts strayed back to his words, Vera tilted her head, not very sure she heard him right. She nearly asked why he was leaving when she remembered that he was with the Alliance Navy. Of course he was going to leave. He was a Navy man, a man with duties to the Alliance.
   "Leave…?" She repeated instead, her voice threaded with distress. "So soon?"
   "I've actually been on shore leave for a few weeks now." It was like he was guilty for being on the Citadel for so long the way he spoke about it. "But, I'm glad I met you regardless. I'm not going to lie, Vera," Kaidan leaned forward, still holding her hand between his securely. "I've never felt this way about anyone, and a near-stranger, no less. There's something there, between us…do you feel it, too?"
   "I was never one to believe in 'love at first sight' or anything like that," Vera agreed, her eyes bouncing between their hands and his intense eyes, pausing on his gaze as she said the word 'love' and gauging his reaction (which, there wasn't really one). "But I think I'm beginning to be proved wrong by the universe itself."
   He smiled again, rubbing her hand gently with his thumb. Vera's heart sped up drastically at each stroke, and she nearly flew across the table to meet her lips to his. Slow it down, Vera. She told herself as she tried to think of something to say. But, she was enjoying the moment as it was; their hands knotted together in the serene silence, just being with this man who was beginning to change absolutely everything.
   Kaidan opened his mouth to say something when someone called his name. He looked over her shoulder, and Vera turned to follow his gaze. A group of fellow Navy men, confirmed by their attire, were standing together at the top of one of the many flights of stairs. A few were making catcalls at him, gesturing to Vera while another, more serious one was waving at him to join them. Vera turned back to see Kaidan's lips set in a hard line as the sounds of whistling and howls carried across the Presidium. Vera reddened almost right away.
   "Oh, my." She whispered. "I assume those, ahem, mature fellows are here to take you away?"
   "I'm sorry, really." Kaidan told her, his hard eyes still glaring behind her till the wolf-whistles subsided into soft jeers. "Most are still just boys, unfortunately. They haven't had war to harden them yet, which is a good thing, I suppose. Hopefully, it stays that way."
   "Then, why do you have to leave if there's no war or anything?" Vera questioned, desperate for any reason to have him linger even if she did sound a little daft.
   "There's always something going on, Vera." He answered, his smirk revealing that he knew exactly what she was doing. "Just little things, most of the time." Here, he brought her hand to his lips, giving it a gentle kiss. "Nothing you should be worried about."
   She bowed her head, feeling absolutely giddy as he put their hands back on the table. Vera was sure that he could hear her heart pounding at this point because that was all she could hear.
   "I'll-I'll still worry, you know." Vera sputtered, her words tumbling out without thought. "That's just how I am."
   "Well, I'd love to find out more about 'how you are' when I come back." Kaidan told her. "And I'll be sure to vid-call you whenever I can. Speaking of which…"
   Kaidan relinquished his hold with one of his hands. His omni-tool appeared on his forearm, the orange light giving off a soft glow. Vera's own omni-tool popped up, causing her to start slightly. Kaidan put his forearm against hers, and the two omni-tools exchanged numbers, if you will. She relished in the way his arm felt against hers, warm and secure. It made her sigh in longing.
   "There we go," He announced, pulling his arms back to brush his fingers across the holo-screens before both of their tools faded away. "I'll be sure to call as soon as possible. And I really am sorry that we didn't meet sooner. I hate to just up and leave you like this…"
   "We all have duties to one thing or the other, Kaidan." Vera very much enjoyed the way his name tasted in her mouth, and she wondered why she hadn't said it more often. "And it's the entire galaxy in your case. I understand." Though, I do wish we met earlier, but better late than never, right?
   "Hey-oh, Alenko! Let's go!" A red-headed recruit shouted. "You can schmooze later, but we gotta shove off."
   Vera blushed again as Kaidan's fellow troops began their howling anew. Kaidan huffed sharply through his nose, that cute look of irritation back on his face. That only goaded the men on, their shouts and catcalls carrying all too easily in the open space. The few late night commuters strolling about the Commons gave pause, looking between the Navy men and the couple with slight annoyance before continuing on their way. Vera ducked down, covering her hot face with her hands.
   "You better go before they come and get you." She mumbled behind her fingers. "I don't even want to imagine what that would look like."
   "Me either," Kaidan huffed, his narrowed eyes aimed over her shoulder. "So I suppose I'll give them what they want."
   He sighed, though this time it was out of regret rather than rage. His rough fingers reached up, brushing her cheek softly. Vera closed her eyes, not wanting the moment to ever end. But, then Kaidan's fingers were gone from her face and her hands. She opened her eyes to see him stand up. He gestured for his comrades to wait a second, which got an impatient profanity from one of them that would've made even Kedzie's ears red.
   "I'll call as soon as I can, Vera. Promise." Kaidan swore, covering her hand with his briefly before a new hand slapped on his back.
   "Don't make me drag you by your ear, Alenko!" The same red-head from before was pulling at Kaidan's shirt from behind with a silly smile stretched across his young face. "Don't want to keep Cap'n waiting, do we?" Then, he looked at Vera for the first time, his bright blue eyes widening. "Well, well, I can see why you wanted to stay now."
   "Go on, Peerce." Kaidan snarled, but Vera could spy a playful grin playing about his lips. "I'll be right with you guys-"
   "Oh, no, no." Peerce broke in, pinching Kaidan's ear between his thumb and forefinger. "I didn't want to have to do this, but you've given me no choice." He nodded down at Vera with a smirk. "Ma'am, I'll be sure that he comes home in one piece."
   "Peerce-!" Kaidan snapped, shooting Vera a look of assurance, telling her with his eyes that she didn't need to worry about such a thing at all.
   "Have a nice night, now." The young naval officer strode away with a bad-tempered Kaidan in tow.
   "Damn it, Peerce, I swear I would toss you in there air if I didn't have such a migraine—" What does he mean by that? "Ow! Not so hard! As soon as I can, Vera, as soon as-!"
   The rest of his words were overrun by the crowd of his comrades that swarmed him when they finally reached at the top of the stairs. She laughed upon seeing his arm shoot up in a wave good-bye among the small but mighty throng of naval men. Vera waved back, though she wasn't sure he saw it. They went down a hallway, toward the elevators, and were gone, taking all sound with them and leaving her in a painful silence.
   Vera stared down at her hands, suddenly overwhelmed with loneliness. The sounds of the fountains were somewhat comforting, though. She played with her fingers distractedly, at a loss of what to do next. Not that she didn't miss Kedzie, but Vera didn't really feel like heading back home. At the same time, though, she didn't want to just sit here by herself. The Citadel was still a new place to her, and who knows what kind of people sulked around at this hour.
   She was still sitting there, contemplating and trying not to think of Kaidan not coming back to her when the asari dropped down a plate of still-steaming cheese sticks. Vera started, staring with shock at the cheese sticks like they were the asari's own tentacles, which then made Vera think of the stir-fry that Kedzie was making with the tentacles replaced with something else. She forgot all about those. The waitress snorted, putting a hand on her curvy hip.
   "Scared him away, did you?" She gave a quick, dry laugh, and sauntered away snootily.
   Vera glared after her, her hatred for the asari growing with each sway of the waitress's hips. But, she knew better than to snap back at her. It was common knowledge that all asari were biotically gifted, and Vera had no way to defend herself from a biotic attack. Oh sure, biotics were rarely seen back on New Canton, but there were a few colonists that came back with the implants. She quickly harbored an only-slightly-based-on-feared respect for the strange, yet beautiful, biotics.
   Instead, she simmered and decided to be the mature one. She hated being the mature one.
   Her glare moved down to the cheese sticks, and she had a brief moment of nostalgia of eating these rarities back home. Vera remembered them being all warm, crunchy and gooey, and she was sure that these would be the same. But, something inside her wouldn't let her eat them. The thought of bring one to her lips, in fact, left her feeling nauseated.
   With a slight sneer at the plate, Vera stood up and slid her chair back under the table with a firm shove. She turned and clomped up the stairs toward the elevators. It wasn't until she was at the stop of the steps that she heard the asari shouting after her for not paying.
   Vera almost turned around and showed the asari how wonderful her middle fingers were, but she just pretended to ignore the asari's curses. She did, however, glance over her shoulder to see if the asari was charging after Vera with her hands clouded blue with biotics. The asari was still shouting, but she was still at the table with no strand of biotics in sight. Vera wrinkled up her nose in a satisfied smirk before losing sight of the café and fuming asari as she rounded the corner.
   Her resolve was gone, however, by the time she was alone in the elevator. Vera's shoulders drooped, a hand slapped to her face in despair. She had to choke back a sob, and it racked her whole body rather painfully.
   Thankfully, though, it wasn't silent anymore. The speakers in the elevator were blaring something about a whole company of Alliance Marines that were killed by thresher maws on Akuze in the last few weeks of the previous year, but one member of the company, a Catelyn Shepard, managed to survive, and how they were erecting a memorial to remember the slaughtered by. Vera thought that depressing for the few seconds that her mind let her think of something other than Kaidan and what terrible things could happen to him. The newscast was then interrupted by a different newscast, and Vera's mind wandered absently until the elevator opened again.
   With her arms tightly hugging herself, Vera stepped out and briskly walked up towards her apartment. She skipped the steps two at a time, wanting nothing more than to grab a galleon of rocky road with a large spoon and indulge forever. As pathetic as that may be, it will be satisfying. Vera told herself as she stalked into the apartment.
   Kedzie, who was sprawled across the sofa and watching one of the older Blasto movies, stretched her head back over the headrest to see Vera upside down as she came inside.
   "Well, hey there. Wasn't expecting you back so soon." Kedzie patted the cushion next to her, moving her legs to the coffee table that was covered with the aftermath of Kedzie's meal: her plate with barely a crumb left on the surface, at least three forks, a handful of napkins, and even the pot itself that only had a puddle of sauce left on the bottom.
   Vera made a face at the mess, but her emotional state didn't care much for the muddle at the moment. It wasn't the worst Kedzie had left lying around, anyway. Vera wouldn't even dare to get into that. Instead, she tossed her head back against the headrest, staring up at the ceiling. Kedzie paused the movie with her omni-tool and then put a hand on her friend's leg.
   "What happened, dear?" Kedzie asked sincerely, her brow furrowed slightly, but it abruptly narrowed as a thought crossed her mind. "Did he stand you up? Leave you there for some other chick? Was this some joke to him, or-?"
   "No, Keds." Vera laughed dryly, actually somewhat amused by Kedzie's suggestions. "He had to leave."
   Kedzie pursed her lips, a tick of hers she did when annoyed. She withdrew her hand and pulled her legs in, crossing them with her hands in her lap. Her eyebrow shot up suspiciously.
   "Leave, huh?" She muttered, when she realized what Vera meant. "Oh. Oh. He got called back to duty or something?"
   "Uh-huh," Vera confirmed as she crossed her own legs. "I had to go through the same thought process."
   "And so he just decided to take you out to tell you…that he's leaving for God knows how long?" Kedzie questioned, narrowing her eyes again. "That's kinda a douche-move."
   "He apologized for that, don't worry." murmured Vera, pulling her legs up to her chest with her chin on her knees. "Kaidan promised to call me as soon as he could, and he was really sorry about, well, everything. But still…"
   Kedzie made a dissatisfied noise in the back of her throat, but didn't say anything. She draped an arm across Vera's shoulders and released a long sigh.
   "So…rocky road?" said Kedzie.
   "You read my freakin' mind."
***
   During their indulgence of a whole galleon of rocky road that Kedzie just happened to have around, Vera went through the whole date with her. She was overcome with giggles when telling Kedzie about how she refused to pay and left with the fear of being attacked by an asari. Kedzie laughed so hard that ice cream painfully shot from her nose, dripping into her lap with a disgustingly thick consistency.
   "Ugh, damn it, Vera. Look what you did!" Kedzie cried with another laugh, grabbing a used napkin from the table to clean her face and hands. "But, I bet it was that bitch Olania, or whatever her name is. I mean, it's kinda expected for asari to be promiscuous, but that one is just a straight up whore, from what I hear. Melds minds with whatever moves."
   "Don't be stereotypical," Vera scolded, finishing off the last of the ice cream with one more spoonful. "But, she was a whorish bitch, flaunting herself at Kaidan like that with me right there. I mean, seriously! Who does that but a whorish bitch?"
   "Ah, you realize that you've said this Kaidan's name like any time you could, right?" Kedzie pointed out before discovering that the ice cream was gone with a disgruntled expression.
   Vera gave an embarrassed shrug, fingering the spoon bashfully. She grumbled something incoherent as Kedzie snatched the spoon from her.
   "No, it's actually really cute." Kedzie said while she tossing the spoons into the sink. "I know it's been awhile since we've been together, but I cannot remember another time where you've been so excited and down in the dumps at the same time." Even with Connor. Kedzie thought, knowing much better than to do that again. "It's great, really."
   "You really think so?" Vera asked, twirling a strand of her light brown hair dreamily. "There's just something about him, Keds, that makes me…whole again. I know I sound like a creep, and it helps immensely that he feels the same way, and he may be a complete stranger, but I'm finding out that I ache when he's not around. He makes me free, makes me say things and do things I normally wouldn't do, which isn't necessarily a bad thing-"
   "My God, Vera. You met the guy today." Kedzie broke in with a smile, leaning her butt against the counter and crossing her arms. "How can you feel this way already?"
   Vera chewed on her bottom lip, seriously contemplating Kedzie's question. It baffled her just as much as Kedzie. Her finger went limp, the strand of hair bouncing back to her shoulder. Vera brought her eyebrows together, racking her mind to think of a logical answer, when there obviously wasn't one other than…
   "Love at first sight?" Vera suggested, her voice rising up higher at the end of the question than necessary.
   They both held their composure for a good, and rather impressive, three seconds before completely bursting into uncontrollable laughter. Kedzie collapsed onto her hands and knees, her snorts punctuating every gasp of breath while Vera slammed her head down onto the sofa, a hand over her mouth. Both lost the ability to breathe correctly for a while, but Vera's laughter abruptly died out long before Kedzie's, who was now lying on her stomach, pounding her fists on the floor.
   Vera sat back up, her brow furrowed again as she patiently waited for Kedzie's snorts to subside. She ran a hand through her hair, staring at some unseen point on the wall with so much intensity that it cut Kedzie's laughter short when she looked up at her friend. Kedzie took in a deep breath, pushing herself up onto her elbows.
   "Wait, you were serious?" Kedzie questioned, her expression only slightly amused.
   "I…" Vera turned her head to meet Kedzie's eyes, and Kedzie could see the answer clear as day in Vera's intense green eyes. "I think so."
   Kedzie said nothing, her messy blonde pair sticking up in odd places from her run-in with the floor. Her brown eyes were wide with either surprise or shock, Vera wasn't sure which, and her lips were even parted into a perfect 'o'. Vera blinked, her mind completely blown by Kedzie's speechlessness. Never before had Kedzie been at a lost for words, and it gave Vera a twinge of satisfaction to know that she caused it. Vera sighed through her nose, a sound of exhaustion. And yearning. And a bunch of other things that she couldn't exactly pinpoint.
   "I think I'm in love with him, Kedzie." Vera finally confessed in a hushed whisper, her face scrunched in confusion and hesitation yet threaded with pangs of clarity and certainty at the same time. "Oh, God. I'm so beyond confused." She put her knuckles against her warm forehead. "I think I'm gonna go to bed now."
   Kedzie was still sprawled on the floor, staring open-mouthed at her friend. Vera slowly untucked her legs and stumbled across the room to the dark, inviting bedroom. Just as she was collapsing onto the bed belly-first, fully clothed, Kedzie came in after her. Her fists were tight on her cocked hips, completely recovered from her silent spell.
   "What do you mean by that?" demanded Kedzie, eyes narrowed with her lips pursed again. "You don't believe in that stuff, do you?"
   Vera groaned, rolling onto her side. She propped her head on her hand, lazily rolling her gaze at Kedzie, looming in the doorway. Vera tossed her other hand in the air in a shrug, bringing her palm back down with a slap onto the mattress. Kedzie raised her eyebrows, unimpressed, but relaxed her arms in defeat.
   "I didn't before, honest." Vera called as Kedzie went back into the other room to turn off the light, which she could've done with her omni-tool. "But after meeting Kaidan…I don't know, Keds. I really just don't know."
   She flopped back on her belly, her arms and legs stretched out with fingers splayed over the sheets. Vera heard Kedzie mumble something, probably a mocking curse, before she heard the rustle of sheets and the fluffing of pillows meaning that Kedzie was now on her own bed.
   "We can talk about it later, I suppose." Kedzie muttered, her voice muffled as she pulled her shirt over her head to sleep in her sweats and sports bra.
   "What is there to talk about, Keds?" Vera snapped, her voice suddenly harsh as she pushed herself up on her hands. "I don't even…" She screamed out of frustration, throwing her pillow violently across the room only to have it very anticlimactically slide down the wall and crumble to the floor. "I just don't know, okay! I said I think I love him. It's not like I'm going dress shopping or anything, s-so-!"
   She whimpered, her anger washing out of her in a sob. Vera brought her fingers to her head, pulling back her hair and digging her nails into her scalp. Kedzie was at her side in seconds, hands warily dancing about, but not touching her hysterical friend. Guilt ran through Kedzie's veins as she took in Vera's pure fear, the terror that she'd held in all day, etched into her pretty, simple features.
   "I'm, I'm terrified, Kedzie." Vera whispered, her voice almost too soft to even consider a whisper. "Part of me is so scared of what he might actually be, if Kaidan isn't what he seems to be. What if…" Vera's petrified eyes were swimming in her tears, twinkling in the light peeking through the slats of the window blinds as she met Kedzie's concerned gaze. Her voice got even quieter, causing Kedzie to lean forward so their heads were nearly touching; Kedzie was now holding Vera's shaking hands. "What if he's just like, like Connor? What if-"
   Here, Vera paused and pried one of her hands free to begin rolling up her sleeve.
   "Vera, please, no." Kedzie gasped, clasping her hands over Vera's before the sleeve was curled above her shoulder. "You don't have to show anything, not like this…"
   But Vera cried out, yanking the rest of the sleeve up to reveal her naked, scarred shoulder. Kedzie froze, trying to stare at anything but Vera's skin. But, it was all her brown eyes could lock onto.
   Vera's beautifully pale skin was crisscrossed with all varieties of cuts: long, short, thin, wide, shallow, and deep. They layered over each other, making her skin look like a patchwork of irregular slashes that mysteriously seemed to create a distinct pattern. A horrifyingly perfect pattern of innumerous scars. And that was just one section of it, one shoulder, not even considering her thighs and spine…
   Kedzie choked back a sob of her own, covering her mouth with her hand. It was the first time she'd ever seen Vera's scars, something she never thought she'd lay her eyes on. Kedzie felt her stomach tighten, not from nausea, but from complete pity, anguish, and most of all, rage. How dare someone do this to someone else, especially someone like sweet, innocent Vera. It was inhumane, insane even. And seeing them now, as Vera was completely losing it, it felt wrong, inappropriately timed. Just…not right.
   "What if he does this?!" shrieked Vera, her tears racing down her cheeks as she raked her nails over her shoulder, sending red welts to rise and highlight a few of her scars. "What if he does worse, Kedzie? I don't think I could handle it!"
   "Hush now," Kedzie murmured, finally finding her sorrow-cracked voice; it was a tone Vera never heard from her. "Everything's alright now."
   Kedzie gently rolled Vera's sleeve back down, tugging it snuggly back into place. She then pulled Vera into a hug, Vera's head resting on Kedzie's shoulder. Kedzie put a gentle hand on Vera's head, holding her as the sobs slowly began to subside. Vera melted into her friend's embrace, wrapping her arms securely around Kedzie's bare, slimly muscular waist.
   "I'm sorry," Kedzie whispered into Vera's hair, silent tears staining her face. "I'm sorry for making you think like this, for going too far, and I swear to God that I won't let anything like what Connor did happen ever again, Vera. I promise."
   And Vera believed her as she clutched to Kedzie helplessly, her heart screaming and her memories flashing from the now to the then. Only her grasp on Kedzie kept her from slipping totally back into the past, back into Connor's bloody arms, and Vera held on till the morning light desperately.