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This chapter will really look into some of our heroes too, and in a way my art only HINTS at above.

For those like me who love the idea of Claire and Sherry together -- you know what I mean by that! -- what you're about to read will hopefully hit you in the feels!

You'll also bear witness to Rebecca Chambers saying something really important to someone she loves...and Cheryl Mason will find herself receiving counsel from the last person you might have expected, and in a way you won't see coming.
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RESIDENT EVIL X SILENT HILL: JUDGMENT DAY

written by Charles W.S.,
inspired by Ygure

Chapter 44:

"SECRETS IN THE DARK"

--1--

Sherry Birkin entered the classroom across the hall from the teacher's lounge first, and Claire Redfield followed behind closely. The angel with auburn hair briefly turned from the special agent to softly close the door behind her. But paused. There was so much she needed to say to this amazing girl, she felt so MUCH deep inside, and because of that knew all of the anxiety. It was funny. The lady remembered feeling much less anxious as she and Leon strove to save Sherry so long ago, when the girl was only twelve, in Raccoon City.

Claire regained her courage, turned to look toward her companion, and began, "Sherry -- !"

Standing there in the middle of the diseased classroom, Sherry Birkin looked a thousand times more apprehensive as she said suddenly and with the purest feeling, "I'm in love with you!"

Time literally wasn't even a 'thing' right now in this displaced region where Hell dominated. Still, it felt like Claire's very being was frozen in time as she could only look at the supergirl, thoroughly disarmed and at a total loss to know how to respond. Sherry's gaze softened to become so intimate in her adoration for her angel as she managed to continue: "Before we go any further...i-if we can't make it through for any reason, that's what I need to say to you. I'm in love with you, Claire."

For a few beats, there was only silence.

Claire finally managed to find her voice and asked gently, "How long have you felt this way...?"

Sherry giggled a little nervously. "Ha-ha, don't worry. It hasn't been for as long as Anakin crushed on Padme in the movies!" The both laughed brightly for a moment in spite of the darkness. Much more carefully, Sherry honestly told her adored one, "It just...it's just how I came to feel over time. There always had to be that necessary distance between us, but at least Simmons let us correspond. I missed you so much, I owed you everything for what you did for me."

The special agent turned to look into space as she really reflected...she saw the American flag in one corner, almost desecrated in this version of Black Falls. It felt surreal to see a symbol of her home in Hell. She continued, "But after I figured out I was a lesbian...after I became an adult...my feelings for you evolved. I missed you so, and as I dreamed of really being there for you again...I..." Sherry looked at Claire again and confessed, "I started to dream of being with you. It really is true, and I'm not saying this in any trivial way. Absence does make the heart grow fonder."

Stricken completely by the blonde's loving words, Claire almost breathed, "Oh, Sherry...!"

Sherry's gorgeous face flooded then with more than a little fear...it took a real effort to say what she did next: "If...if you needed to tell me you don't feel that way about me...i-if you can't feel the same way, that's all right...!"

Claire told the supergirl, "That's not what I needed to say." The angel slowly approached Sherry. "Sherry, I'm above and beyond flattered to know you feel that way. And I am so...enchanted by you. You said that all we need to do is open our eyes to see the magic in this world." With only a few feet separating them, Claire told the girl, "As far as I'm concerned, you're magical in the best possible way." Sherry felt true wonder and so much hope in spite of their present circumstances. Yet Claire looked down at the ruined floor of this classroom and looked so downcast. The lady managed, "But...I'm afraid."

Surprised, Sherry asked, "O-of what??"

Claire looked into Sherry's eyes and confessed, "I'm afraid of failing you...I hate to even imagine failing you like I failed Moira."

Virtually stunned, Sherry took a step closer and declared, "You didn't fail her, Claire! You and Barry saved her!"

"Only after I left her for dead for six damn months, Sherry! I left her on that hellhole of an island, and the only one who could help her was that brave old man Evgeny! Moira learned to become so self reliant and strong, and then he was lost and she was all alone..." Claire's eyes squeezed shut as she shook her head and expressed the guilt she had always felt ever since. "I left her for dead, and I shouldn't have -- !"

Sherry sweetly yet earnestly interrupted, "Claire, you told me you had no choice but to leave her. She was trapped under rubble as Alex Wesker's complex was crumbling down around you both. You told me she urged you to go and live, she wanted you to survive even if she couldn't! Was any part of that a lie??"

"N-no!"

"Then you did what you had to do to survive! You did what Moira wanted, and you told me Barry understood!"

There was such pain in Claire's voice. "I still failed her, Sherry...!"

Sherry felt so overwhelmed as she lifted a slender hand to her chest...god, the woman she loved was putting herself through so much when she didn't even have to! The supergirl said with complete admiration, "You've always been that way...you've always had so much love in your heart for everyone else. That's one the thousand reasons why I love you." Her brow knitted a bit then. "But seriously, Claire...there's such a thing as being too serious!"

Claire blinked...and then the angel looked down again as she gave a rueful grin. "Hmf! That's something I should have figured out when I got so serious about my work with TerraSave. I believed in Neil too much, and..." Claire really looked back, had to face the facts, and finally said, "I told Moira his betrayal made me see the world a little more clearly, but all I really did was...become more serious. I'm almost as serious as Chris has been for a long time."

"You did what you had to do. That's all. You did nothing wrong and you didn't fail."

In that next pregnant moment, Claire could only look back at Sherry...unsure if she could really take that advisement to heart.

Sherry understood and said, "I know I can't convince you against your will." The supergirl took another step closer to the angel she absolutely adored. "But. I'm gonna damn well give my very best to try...maybe there's some way I can persuade you to feel differently. Convince you to love yourself a little more...?"

Claire drew closer to Sherry in turn, feeling the girl's love she couldn't help but think that this was what it meant to be blessed. The angel with auburn hair purred, "If you're the one doing the convincing, you magical girl, you wouldn't have to do much. I can promise you this." Both of her hands reached out...Sherry mirrored her and they held hands. Claire said from the very core of her soul, "I could never love myself...as much as I love you." Sherry knew such happiness then, she almost forgot to breathe.

In spite of Hell's gloom, something bright and heavenly and truly golden began to crystallize between them. They both might as well have been angels from on high. Claire needed to be sure this was what the supergirl wanted...she loved Sherry that much...when she softly asked, "Sherry, you're sure you want us to...evolve...?"

Sherry Birkin nodded, the love perfect in her eyes, as she answered, "I've never been more sure of anything, Claire." There was such a pure and primal passion to be seen in the windows to her soul, as well. An eternal flame fueled by her complete, unconditional love for the woman who saved her so very long ago.

It was a passion that could only be matched in divine intensity by all that Claire Redfield felt...and would feel to the end of time and beyond...as she said thickly, "Then come here." She pulled her beloved close. Their hearts raced as they felt their breaths on one another's faces...they both felt such an innocent, virginal, desperate need to be careful as they slowly began to kiss...

...and then their incandescent love became everything, and they both surrendered...Claire and Sherry kissed deeply as they clutched each other tight...

...and they both began to know a most divine bliss.

--2--

In constrast, only a moment after Claire and Sherry left the teacher's lounge, no one here could have been called happy...and that was almost a damn understatement. Chris Redfield was in such a foul mood, he didn't see the damn point of looking into himself and laying his emotions bare. But one, Rebecca Chambers, felt really differently. The pixie looked at Cheryl Mason.

The girl from Silent Hill looked at her cherished Becca. She didn't need magical powers to know what the pixie was thinking. Cheryl simply smiled with quiet encouragement.

That did help so much, but Rebecca had never felt more afraid in her entire life. She had always been propelled by her own horrible guilt. She thought it was so easy for Cheryl to say that she was being too hard on herself. But after all that Cybil Bennett said, it might as well have been like someone put a mirror in front of the Medical Specialist so she could really see...

...yes, she had been too hard on herself. She wasn't alone in her feelings. But dear god, the dread Rebecca felt grabbed her heart like a vise as she said softly, "There is a point, Chris. We have no idea what's going to happen next. The stakes are our entire world." The pixie looked at Chris then. "Maybe there are things we need to say before it's too late." Then, feeling worse than ever, Becca looked at the best friend she had ever known and managed, "There's so much I need to say to you."

The pixie was looking at Jill Valentine. Jill frowned a little because she didn't understand and asked, "What is it, sweetie??" Not far away, Chris frowned. There was something that had always haunted Rebecca. Cheryl got a sense of that not long after she and the pixie first met. And this was something the BSAA captain always knew, but kept to himself.

Rebecca spared a glance at the lady cop from Brahms, Maine and said, "Cybil, you're not the only one who feels like you let down someone you love. I know I did." Becca looked at her dearest friend again, and the sorrow only built and built in her sweet face. "I did that to you, Jill. Oh dear god, I would give everything for the chance to do things differently..."

Jill drew closer, both really worried for the pixie and truly confused, as she asked, "Rebecca, what are you talking about???"

God, the pain in the pixie's eyes could almost be felt by everyone else in the room...the agony was transmitted in her voice that threatened to crack as she spoke... "I wish I was as strong as you...I wish I was as brave and beautiful as you, Jill. But I wasn't. After Raccoon City was destroyed, you and Chris and Barry and Claire needed to follow your hearts and do what was right. You needed to bring justice to the Umbrella Corporation in the memory of everyone who died because of their greed.

"B-but I couldn't do that. I couldn't follow my heart and follow you because all of that nightmare shit in Raccoon Forest alone burned me out and...used me up. I tried to put on a brave face, but that's all I could do. And when we got disgraced and investigated by our own department, when we started getting blamed for what happened to the rest of S.T.A.R.S....

"...I-I had to quit."

Jill really didn't understand then. The lady knew all of that as well as Becca did. After everything went to hell (figuratively) in Raccoon City, Jill completely understood why Rebecca couldn't join her, Chris, Barry and Claire in their crusade to bring down the Umbrella Corporation. She tried to say, "Sweetie -- !"

Becca moaned, "Please...I-I need to get this out, Jill. Please. After everything happened and we lost Raccoon City, I went back to my hometown to really practice medicine and be close to my parents again. Every time you called me and you called me all the time, you always wished me the best and hoped I was happy. I was always so worried for you working to put an end to Umbrella, and then you joined the BSAA, and..." Tears began to spill down her elvish cheeks. "Oh Jill, you promised that you'd always be there for me if I ever had any trouble, but...b-but..."

And Rebecca's voice reflected that it took so much of her inner strength to finish, "...but I could never be there for you because I was a quitter, and then fucking Albert Wesker took you and maybe if things had been different, if I had been there for you maybe that wouldn't have happened!"

Jill Valentine's mouth damn near dropped open. She was that shocked. The only ones who weren't surprised that this sweet girl was so ferociously hard on herself were Cheryl and Chris. Jill tried to speak. "R...Rebecca..."

The pixie really cried as she moaned, "I'll never understand why you never blamed me for that. You are my best friend, and I was never there for you. After you...a-after what happened to you...I needed to make up for that somehow. That's why I joined the BSAA, because I owed it to you to carry on your work in your memory. A-at first, Chris said no...he said I wanted to join the BSAA for all the wrong reasons. He knew I wanted to join but he disagreed so strongly when I said I failed you...!"

Jill was SERIOUSLY surprised by that. So was Sheva Alomar. Both were friends of Rebecca, and they had always thought it odd that Chris would never allow her to do more as an agent of the BSAA. Jill asked, "Chris???"

Sheepishly, Chris Redfield grunted, "It...it's true, Jill. This girl browbeated me for the longest time to work with us, especially after we brought you back home. I finally had to cave in, dammit! She even made me promise not to tell anyone else why she joined. She already felt horrible enough, and...was so afraid people would hate her." Chris looked down as Christine Yamata, Barry Burton and others could only feel astonishment. "You and Sheva asked why I was reluctant to really let her do more. Now you know why...!"

Sheva's expression almost melted as she understood...she sighed, "Oh, Chris...!" They had no idea the man was simply trying to be true to Rebecca keeping that promise. And at the same time, she totally understood now why Chris was reluctant to make the pixie a full agent in the field.

Jill understood too, and she loved that amazing man more than ever. Her love for her dear friend Rebecca was just as overwhelming as the poor girl broke into sobs being so laid completely bare. Jill drew very close to the pixie and felt like crying too as she purred, "You sweet, incredible girl. You didn't have to feel that way! Like Cheryl said, you're not responsible for me...!"

Becca's expression was heartbreaking as she managed to calm a little and moaned, "You're my best friend, Jill. Maybe I'm not responsible for you...but losing you made me realize that I owed it to myself to be there for you. I love you, Jill, and I wish I had been there...if only I was, maybe Wesker wouldn't have -- !"

"Shhh!" Jill's slender hands lifted and she cupped Rebecca's wet, adorable face with a loving touch...the pixie's eyes widened as she saw the expression on the valkyrie's face. Jill issued again much more tenderly, "Ssshhhhhh. If you had been there, only god knows what could have happened to you. It's totally all right that you weren't, sweetie." Jill did begin to cry as she gently wiped away Becca's tears and told the girl the perfect truth: "I swear nothing could change how much I love you too, and you've got nothing to be sorry for."

Just as Cheryl said.

Becca was still a total wreck as she glomped Jill, and they held each other for a long time.

--3--

Claire and Sherry came back to the lounge only ten minutes after they left. They had spent that much time to themselves, but neither of them felt like going any further than 'second base', and those of you with experience will know what that means. It would have felt wrong to go any further in this literally damned place, and they both prayed they would all win the day and then...well, they could focus on one another in a way they both yearned to later...!

They were both surprised as heck to see that Rebecca put herself through such a wringer, but she had gotten a lot better. The love from Jill, Sheva, Chris, Barry, Christine and others helped so much, and Cheryl was so happy to know that. Others shared quiet truths about themselves as they waited for Elza Walker to get better enough to walk and carry a gun. Elza honestly had the least to say...she was totally guileless when she said that disobeying traffic laws in Black Falls -- which got her into this whole fucking mess in the first place -- was the only thing she ever had reason to feel guilty for. That and doing a bunch of stupid grade school crap that ALL kids were guilty of in one way or another!

Barry Burton was a different story. The big bear made mention of his being careless at the wrong time keeping his firearms secure so that Moira and Polly couldn't access them. An accident happened, and he admitted that he couldn't take responsibility for that right away. He laid all of the blame on Moira when he was just as much at fault. His family had gotten stronger since, but the shame he felt from that still weighed heavily upon him. Everyone understood, and even those heroes present who didn't know Barry well couldn't judge him.

Other confessions quiet but humble were spoken. Claire and Sherry had nothing to say...they already spoke of everything they had to say to each other...but the angels kept gazing at each other as they held hands in a way that DEFINITELY got Chris' interest. Seeing them both warmed the hearts of Leon and Helena and of wedded couple Alex and Elle. They also knew what it meant to be in true love.

Besides Chris and Anne, only two others didn't say anything about themselves, mainly because for security's sake, they couldn't. The operators Regina and Rain. Then...there came a moment when Regina moved to Cheryl and the redhead said, "Cheryl, you and I need to have a talk. We need to do this in private, though."

Cheryl's brow crinkled as Becca felt a burst of apprehension. The girl from Silent Hill asked, "Why? What do you want to talk about?"

The SORT agent said quietly, "Things you wouldn't want anyone else to hear." The serious expression in Regina's eyes reflected how much she meant that.

Cheryl really frowned. "I...I want Becca to be there with us. She already knows everything about me."

"Then Chambers won't need an invitation."

The redhead's protegee Rain stepped closer and growled, "Hope I don't need one? I wanna come, too!"

Regina nodded. "Okay." She looked at the rest of the room and told everyone, "No one else is invited for this." The hardness in her lovely face definitely showed how much she meant that.

--4--

It took the four of them a moment to find another room down the hall from the lounge. Then they were alone. Rain was close by Regina's side as the redheaded operator started. "You might be the strongest of us, Cheryl. You can do things simply with force of will that would scare anyone. That worries me, but if Hell works the way you say it does, that also makes you the most vulnerable of us. We need you to save us, so I need to be sure you won't let your inner demons undermine you as we go after Meyers."

As Becca watched with quiet concern, Cheryl said flatly, "We'll need to do a few things before that, Regina...but whatever inner demons I have, I can deal with them. I won't let my baggage compromise me."

Regina looked at the pixie Cheryl loved and asked, "Do you believe that?"

Becca answered immediately, "Yes. Cheryl's a lot stronger than you think she is!"

"You have that much faith in her."

"Because I know Cheryl. I know what she's been through."

Regina nodded. "You must also know she looks at herself in such a terrible way. Right? It's not just because she blames herself for what happened to Black Falls...or because she blames herself for accidentally opening that gateway in Silent Hill when she was only a child."

The redhead looked at the girl from Silent Hill and continued, "It's because of all the shit you've had to suffer because of that woman Dahlia Gillespie. She was your mother, but she wasn't. You told us she used you, abused you, and finally violated you to bring her fake God to Earth." Regina's firm eyes really examined Cheryl then. "You see yourself in such a dark way, don't you? You gave a big hint of that by insisting on blaming yourself for things you couldn't control, for what Dahlia and then Meyers did to you. Maybe you even see yourself as the monster you're afraid others will call you?"

Regina crossed her arms under her bosom and finished, "That's the kind of hideous damage the worst kinds of pain can cause, Cheryl Mason. That's how dark the lives of those who are abused can become."

At that moment, Cheryl Mason started to get angry...with an outburst that shocked Rebecca, the blonde yelled, "What the FUCK do you think you know about what I've been through!? How could you even pretend to know a goddamn thing about how I feel!?!"

Regina calmly stared back at Cheryl and answered, "I know what it means to be a child of sadness. Trust me on this. I know."

The girl in black Rain looked at her mentor with sudden alarm. She knew what the lady meant and out of concern blurted, "R-Regina...!" But the redhead shot her protegee a HARD look and then lifted a gloved hand to her face. Her index finger nearly touched her lips as she communicated to her girl to shush. Rain fell silent and could only look at her.

Regina looked at Cheryl again and said, "I have a story to tell you. I'd rather you know this way because I don't want to invite you to look into my memories. Can you use your power to know without a doubt when someone is telling the truth?"

Still angry, Cheryl impatiently answered, "Yes!"

"Then read me that way as I talk...and you'll know I'm being honest." Regina took a few steps away and sat on the edge of the teacher's ruined desk. She began like this...

"I have a story to tell you about a little girl I remember. Right after she was born, her mother died of complications from her pregnancy. Translation: the doctors knew fuck-all about her problems or how to help her. From that day forth, she was raised by her father. He was a good and honorable man who always did his best. His means were relatively modest, but he always provided for his girl even though he was alone. He only had one other family member in the world, but he always got by himself as he brought her up." Regina gave a hint of a warm smile. "Your father Harry Mason must have been a lot like the man I'm talking about. I'm sure you would have liked him. He was devoted to his daughter in all of the ways a loving parent needed to be. He was strict and stern when he needed to be, too. For this little girl, her father became her rock, her one true certainty in life. She absolutely loved him.

"And then one day, her father was in a senseless automobile accident because of a drunk driver. The drunk asshole died. For almost two days, doctors did everything they could for her father in the ICU, but they were only delaying the inevitable because his condition was...critical. He really fought to stay...but he couldn't." Regina looked down at the ruined floor. "The little girl was eight years old when she lost her father."

The redhead looked at Cheryl again as she continued. "She would have gone to an orphanage, but like I said, her father had only one other relation. His older brother. The strange thing was, she had no idea she had an uncle. Her father never told her about him. It was only years later she found out her father's lawyer had fought his brother's motions to adopt her. That little girl didn't know at the time that her uncle had been arrested many times for...crimes involving kids.

"The word pedophile is pretty funny. It translates to 'lover of children'. It's such a cute and flowery way to describe something...so inhuman. I've heard that there have been times an alpha lion would kill the young male cubs so they don't grow to challenge his dominance over the pride. That's something you won't find in the lyrics when you hear that song about 'the circle of life'. Still, there's some things even animals wouldn't do. Only the very worst of humans could imagine and do...the worst of things.

"Her father's brother was one of those kind of predators, and I can imagine he must have wanted to protect her from him. That must have been why he never told her about her uncle. That had to be why he fought so hard to stay." Regina's voice became a little thicker in such a meaningful way as she mused, "I'm sure he loved his little girl that much.

"Turned out the uncle had a really good lawyer, and he successfully argued that since he had only been busted several times but never convicted of anything, then no one had the right to deny him custody of his niece. Any worry for her got lost in the bureaucratic shuffle, and then he had her. Things were all right at first. But only at first. Then he took her down to his basement one night, and that eight year old girl learned about things she would never have imagined in her darkest nightmares."

Becca, a truly loving and incredible girl, could only feel pure horror. Cheryl stared at Regina with an expression that was...far too neutral. Rain could only look at her mentor with empathy as the redhead continued the story. "The worst part of being trapped in that self-contained hell by a beast who needs to feed on you, who abuses you constantly for the smallest mistake as he's training you, is to live without love. It's like...sensory deprivation, only you're deprived of any sunlight. Any warmth. Even hope. This little girl did knew what that was like, Cheryl.

"She was in that hell for six years, and no one else knew. Makes me wonder how many homes in our world are really houses of horror. There can't be many, but even a few are too many. Like Alessa Gillespie, this girl learned to simply exist so thoroughly alone...she was pretty well trained and knew better than to upset the beast. But when she was 14, guess what?" Regina's full lips reflexively turned into a thin line as she said, "She got too old for him.

"The beast wanted her to make a new, younger friend so she could bring that child home to him. Didn't matter if it was a boy or a girl. Just as long as that child was young.

"But when she understood that she was going to be forced to bring another boy or girl to the beast, see them suffer in all of the ways she did, she woke up from her own misery. She never forgot her father, a good and honorable man, and she asked herself what he would do. She knew the answer. It took some waiting for the uncle to come back home from work..."

Regina kept her voice level as she said calmly, "...and I showed that piece of shit how old I was when I bashed his brains in with a baseball bat.

"It was a little league bat. The beast took it as a trophy from another child he preyed on long before then. I never played baseball, but I knew how to use it."

Cheryl could only look at Regina with pure sadness as she listened and KNEW without a doubt the operator was telling her the truth. The redhead continued much more neutrally, "I got arrested, and when the police realized what kind of monster my uncle was, I was still in quite a bit of trouble. It was premeditated murder by the letter of the law, but they had to wonder if any jury would ever convict me." She admitted dismissively, "I really didn't give a shit what happened. He was dead and would never touch me again, and he'd never hurt anymore kids. That was when this one agency that served the Department of Defense heard about me. They told me at worst I might be kept in a juvenile facility until I was 18, or I could volunteer for a...unique training program for covert operatives. The idea of serving my country sounded a lot better than sitting in jail. My dad was a veteran, you know." She closed her eyes. She said very softly, "I hope he's proud of me wherever he's resting now.

"God, I really hope I'll see him again in Heaven one day." Regina opened her eyes, looked at Cheryl again and smiled a bit. "Strange that I need to escape Hell on Earth first. You never know where life will take you, huh?"

The redhead moved from the desk and Rain and moved closer to Cheryl...her protegee and Becca could only watch as the girl from Silent Hill looked at the operator with wide, haunted eyes. Regina said with true knowledge, "I know all about abuse, Cheryl. I know what it's like to feel helpless. Hopeless. Alone. And more often than not, I blamed myself for it all." Quiet, heavy, terrible tears began to stream down Cheryl's cheeks...an expression of wounds within her that might never heal completely. "I grew to believe his molestations and beatings were my fault, and I earned a terrible self image for a really long time. I can imagine you've felt that way about yourself. Being able to use magic the way you do must have magnified that feeling that there was something wrong with you. If you hadn't been so different, maybe Dahlia would have loved you? If it wasn't for you, things would be better. You've looked back on things in that respect, haven't you?"

Becca could only feel such true pain herself as Cheryl stood there, frozen, as she wept...and the effort must have been monumental for the haunted girl to simply answer: ".....Yes."

Regina nodded. "That's what monsters like Dahlia Gillespie count on. They want you to hate yourself as much as they want to use you. You will always carry the memory of the pain you suffered in one of your lifetimes, and the same as me, I'm sure you know that kind of pain will never go away. The worst of scars can't fade to nothing. They'll stick with you whether you like it or not.

"But you can still heal from them. That's something I know. One day you'll be able to stop looking back at the darkness...and look forward toward the light."

Cheryl's hazel eyes were still so incredibly haunted and uncertain as she stared into space...she began to moan doubtfully, "But...I'm still so afraid I could be a monster...I could become like Dahlia -- "

Regina suddenly said, "Don't do that! Don't EVER buy into any bullshit you might have heard that 'those who are abused are likely to be abusers, too'! Have you ever honestly felt like you identified with Dahlia, that you wanted to prey upon and dominate everyone else through her God, too!?"

With a nova flare of disgust, Cheryl said with pure passion, "No!"

"Then you could never grow to be like her unless you wanted to be, and I can tell looking into your eyes you'd never want that." Regina shook her head sourly and looked at her protegee. "Assholes who would write off victims of abuse as 'likely to become just as bad' are lazy and want to keep things too damn simple."

Rain nodded and growled, "They hear about ugly shit like that and hope it'll never affect them, so it's easier for them to ignore it. Only kind of people who piss me off more are those postmodern know-it-alls who wanna make things more complicated, criticize every fuckin' thing and make us segregate into our own special groups!"

Regina nodded. "I'm sure they'd slap a label a label on people like me and Cheryl if they 'cared' enough."

Rebecca stared at the redhead with empathy and moaned, "That wouldn't solve anything, either...!"

Regina gazed at the pixie and purred, "Some problems don't have a cut and dry solution, Chambers. Reasonable people know that." She looked upon Cheryl again and told her, "We're each individuals. No one can put those who suffer similar things into a damn 'group' and declare they'll inevitably do this or that. You might as well say if someone is raised poor or they're a certain skin color or both, just write them off. That only makes more problems.

"The circumstances a person suffers as they grow don't decide what they become. You and I have gone through similar pain, but we can each choose who we are and what we'll end up becoming for ourselves." The operator paused for a few careful beats. "A very wise man once said behavior is the truth. Who someone is and how they affect their world is a reflection of who they are, not where they're from or...what they've been through. Your power does worry me, Cheryl. But all I've seen as you've expressed who you are has told me a lot. You'd have to earn my faith in the same way your girlfriend has, and all I can do is wait to see the truth of you when it's time to face Meyers and put an end to him. I can only pray that you are strong enough to get past everything that haunts you so you can do what you must."

Regina finally drew a bit closer to the girl from Silent Hill and urged, "If you want to heal, then live in spite of the memory of Dahlia Gillespie. Do what you know to be right. Let your girlfriend love you, let her heal you...and you will heal."

As she felt Rebecca's loving hands sweetly clasp one of hers, Cheryl Mason was really struggling to take everything the redheaded operator said to heart. The girl from Silent Hill knew it wouldn't be easy. The very best things could never be earned easily.

Unfortunately, they all had to worry about the tremendous problem of reaching Meyers and stopping this infernal nightmare first...!

TO BE CONTINUED
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If you ever wondered how in the world Regina could have been recruited at the age of 15 (and that is in her bio!), now you know how.

It's absolutely true, no matter how much we want to deny it, that REAL horror exists in our world that makes the worst of things in Resident Evil and Silent Hill pale in comparison. I'm talking about the kind of horror a reasonable and loving person wouldn't want to imagine doing. Unfortunately, those like Cheryl and Regina suffer things like that every day either in their own homes or from random predators...not to mention there's terrible 'businesses' that profit from kids in unspeakable ways everywhere.

I learned about such things years ago because of an awesome writer and advocate for children, Andrew Vachss. If you're a geek like me and want to know more about his noble cause, all I have to do is refer you to his legendary "Batman: The Ultimate Evil". No signalling of any kind here, but this is for Vachss and all of the Children of the Secret.

In the next chapter, only a few more intimate moments must come to pass -- whether any kind of closure or not is still in question -- before our heroes prepare to hunt down Reeve Meyers, but they'll have to literally go through Hell to reach him!

Giving credit to those who provided the models for my art above!

XNALara created by Dusan Pavlicek; XPS by Dusan and XNAaraL

Models:

(In the first panel!)
Sherry Birkin by !
Claire Redfield by !

(In the second panel!)
Jill Valentine by again! :333
Rebecca Chambers by !

(In the last panel!)
Cheryl Mason by !
Regina by Navid! :333

Sceneries by and !

Description
This chapter will really look into some of our heroes too, and in a way my art only HINTS at above.

For those like me who love the idea of Claire and Sherry together -- you know what I mean by that! -- what you're about to read will hopefully hit you in the feels!

You'll also bear witness to Rebecca Chambers saying something really important to someone she loves...and Cheryl Mason will find herself receiving counsel from the last person you might have expected, and in a way you won't see coming.
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RESIDENT EVIL X SILENT HILL: JUDGMENT DAY

written by Charles W.S.,
inspired by Ygure

Chapter 44:

"SECRETS IN THE DARK"

--1--

Sherry Birkin entered the classroom across the hall from the teacher's lounge first, and Claire Redfield followed behind closely. The angel with auburn hair briefly turned from the special agent to softly close the door behind her. But paused. There was so much she needed to say to this amazing girl, she felt so MUCH deep inside, and because of that knew all of the anxiety. It was funny. The lady remembered feeling much less anxious as she and Leon strove to save Sherry so long ago, when the girl was only twelve, in Raccoon City.

Claire regained her courage, turned to look toward her companion, and began, "Sherry -- !"

Standing there in the middle of the diseased classroom, Sherry Birkin looked a thousand times more apprehensive as she said suddenly and with the purest feeling, "I'm in love with you!"

Time literally wasn't even a 'thing' right now in this displaced region where Hell dominated. Still, it felt like Claire's very being was frozen in time as she could only look at the supergirl, thoroughly disarmed and at a total loss to know how to respond. Sherry's gaze softened to become so intimate in her adoration for her angel as she managed to continue: "Before we go any further...i-if we can't make it through for any reason, that's what I need to say to you. I'm in love with you, Claire."

For a few beats, there was only silence.

Claire finally managed to find her voice and asked gently, "How long have you felt this way...?"

Sherry giggled a little nervously. "Ha-ha, don't worry. It hasn't been for as long as Anakin crushed on Padme in the movies!" The both laughed brightly for a moment in spite of the darkness. Much more carefully, Sherry honestly told her adored one, "It just...it's just how I came to feel over time. There always had to be that necessary distance between us, but at least Simmons let us correspond. I missed you so much, I owed you everything for what you did for me."

The special agent turned to look into space as she really reflected...she saw the American flag in one corner, almost desecrated in this version of Black Falls. It felt surreal to see a symbol of her home in Hell. She continued, "But after I figured out I was a lesbian...after I became an adult...my feelings for you evolved. I missed you so, and as I dreamed of really being there for you again...I..." Sherry looked at Claire again and confessed, "I started to dream of being with you. It really is true, and I'm not saying this in any trivial way. Absence does make the heart grow fonder."

Stricken completely by the blonde's loving words, Claire almost breathed, "Oh, Sherry...!"

Sherry's gorgeous face flooded then with more than a little fear...it took a real effort to say what she did next: "If...if you needed to tell me you don't feel that way about me...i-if you can't feel the same way, that's all right...!"

Claire told the supergirl, "That's not what I needed to say." The angel slowly approached Sherry. "Sherry, I'm above and beyond flattered to know you feel that way. And I am so...enchanted by you. You said that all we need to do is open our eyes to see the magic in this world." With only a few feet separating them, Claire told the girl, "As far as I'm concerned, you're magical in the best possible way." Sherry felt true wonder and so much hope in spite of their present circumstances. Yet Claire looked down at the ruined floor of this classroom and looked so downcast. The lady managed, "But...I'm afraid."

Surprised, Sherry asked, "O-of what??"

Claire looked into Sherry's eyes and confessed, "I'm afraid of failing you...I hate to even imagine failing you like I failed Moira."

Virtually stunned, Sherry took a step closer and declared, "You didn't fail her, Claire! You and Barry saved her!"

"Only after I left her for dead for six damn months, Sherry! I left her on that hellhole of an island, and the only one who could help her was that brave old man Evgeny! Moira learned to become so self reliant and strong, and then he was lost and she was all alone..." Claire's eyes squeezed shut as she shook her head and expressed the guilt she had always felt ever since. "I left her for dead, and I shouldn't have -- !"

Sherry sweetly yet earnestly interrupted, "Claire, you told me you had no choice but to leave her. She was trapped under rubble as Alex Wesker's complex was crumbling down around you both. You told me she urged you to go and live, she wanted you to survive even if she couldn't! Was any part of that a lie??"

"N-no!"

"Then you did what you had to do to survive! You did what Moira wanted, and you told me Barry understood!"

There was such pain in Claire's voice. "I still failed her, Sherry...!"

Sherry felt so overwhelmed as she lifted a slender hand to her chest...god, the woman she loved was putting herself through so much when she didn't even have to! The supergirl said with complete admiration, "You've always been that way...you've always had so much love in your heart for everyone else. That's one the thousand reasons why I love you." Her brow knitted a bit then. "But seriously, Claire...there's such a thing as being too serious!"

Claire blinked...and then the angel looked down again as she gave a rueful grin. "Hmf! That's something I should have figured out when I got so serious about my work with TerraSave. I believed in Neil too much, and..." Claire really looked back, had to face the facts, and finally said, "I told Moira his betrayal made me see the world a little more clearly, but all I really did was...become more serious. I'm almost as serious as Chris has been for a long time."

"You did what you had to do. That's all. You did nothing wrong and you didn't fail."

In that next pregnant moment, Claire could only look back at Sherry...unsure if she could really take that advisement to heart.

Sherry understood and said, "I know I can't convince you against your will." The supergirl took another step closer to the angel she absolutely adored. "But. I'm gonna damn well give my very best to try...maybe there's some way I can persuade you to feel differently. Convince you to love yourself a little more...?"

Claire drew closer to Sherry in turn, feeling the girl's love she couldn't help but think that this was what it meant to be blessed. The angel with auburn hair purred, "If you're the one doing the convincing, you magical girl, you wouldn't have to do much. I can promise you this." Both of her hands reached out...Sherry mirrored her and they held hands. Claire said from the very core of her soul, "I could never love myself...as much as I love you." Sherry knew such happiness then, she almost forgot to breathe.

In spite of Hell's gloom, something bright and heavenly and truly golden began to crystallize between them. They both might as well have been angels from on high. Claire needed to be sure this was what the supergirl wanted...she loved Sherry that much...when she softly asked, "Sherry, you're sure you want us to...evolve...?"

Sherry Birkin nodded, the love perfect in her eyes, as she answered, "I've never been more sure of anything, Claire." There was such a pure and primal passion to be seen in the windows to her soul, as well. An eternal flame fueled by her complete, unconditional love for the woman who saved her so very long ago.

It was a passion that could only be matched in divine intensity by all that Claire Redfield felt...and would feel to the end of time and beyond...as she said thickly, "Then come here." She pulled her beloved close. Their hearts raced as they felt their breaths on one another's faces...they both felt such an innocent, virginal, desperate need to be careful as they slowly began to kiss...

...and then their incandescent love became everything, and they both surrendered...Claire and Sherry kissed deeply as they clutched each other tight...

...and they both began to know a most divine bliss.

--2--

In constrast, only a moment after Claire and Sherry left the teacher's lounge, no one here could have been called happy...and that was almost a damn understatement. Chris Redfield was in such a foul mood, he didn't see the damn point of looking into himself and laying his emotions bare. But one, Rebecca Chambers, felt really differently. The pixie looked at Cheryl Mason.

The girl from Silent Hill looked at her cherished Becca. She didn't need magical powers to know what the pixie was thinking. Cheryl simply smiled with quiet encouragement.

That did help so much, but Rebecca had never felt more afraid in her entire life. She had always been propelled by her own horrible guilt. She thought it was so easy for Cheryl to say that she was being too hard on herself. But after all that Cybil Bennett said, it might as well have been like someone put a mirror in front of the Medical Specialist so she could really see...

...yes, she had been too hard on herself. She wasn't alone in her feelings. But dear god, the dread Rebecca felt grabbed her heart like a vise as she said softly, "There is a point, Chris. We have no idea what's going to happen next. The stakes are our entire world." The pixie looked at Chris then. "Maybe there are things we need to say before it's too late." Then, feeling worse than ever, Becca looked at the best friend she had ever known and managed, "There's so much I need to say to you."

The pixie was looking at Jill Valentine. Jill frowned a little because she didn't understand and asked, "What is it, sweetie??" Not far away, Chris frowned. There was something that had always haunted Rebecca. Cheryl got a sense of that not long after she and the pixie first met. And this was something the BSAA captain always knew, but kept to himself.

Rebecca spared a glance at the lady cop from Brahms, Maine and said, "Cybil, you're not the only one who feels like you let down someone you love. I know I did." Becca looked at her dearest friend again, and the sorrow only built and built in her sweet face. "I did that to you, Jill. Oh dear god, I would give everything for the chance to do things differently..."

Jill drew closer, both really worried for the pixie and truly confused, as she asked, "Rebecca, what are you talking about???"

God, the pain in the pixie's eyes could almost be felt by everyone else in the room...the agony was transmitted in her voice that threatened to crack as she spoke... "I wish I was as strong as you...I wish I was as brave and beautiful as you, Jill. But I wasn't. After Raccoon City was destroyed, you and Chris and Barry and Claire needed to follow your hearts and do what was right. You needed to bring justice to the Umbrella Corporation in the memory of everyone who died because of their greed.

"B-but I couldn't do that. I couldn't follow my heart and follow you because all of that nightmare shit in Raccoon Forest alone burned me out and...used me up. I tried to put on a brave face, but that's all I could do. And when we got disgraced and investigated by our own department, when we started getting blamed for what happened to the rest of S.T.A.R.S....

"...I-I had to quit."

Jill really didn't understand then. The lady knew all of that as well as Becca did. After everything went to hell (figuratively) in Raccoon City, Jill completely understood why Rebecca couldn't join her, Chris, Barry and Claire in their crusade to bring down the Umbrella Corporation. She tried to say, "Sweetie -- !"

Becca moaned, "Please...I-I need to get this out, Jill. Please. After everything happened and we lost Raccoon City, I went back to my hometown to really practice medicine and be close to my parents again. Every time you called me and you called me all the time, you always wished me the best and hoped I was happy. I was always so worried for you working to put an end to Umbrella, and then you joined the BSAA, and..." Tears began to spill down her elvish cheeks. "Oh Jill, you promised that you'd always be there for me if I ever had any trouble, but...b-but..."

And Rebecca's voice reflected that it took so much of her inner strength to finish, "...but I could never be there for you because I was a quitter, and then fucking Albert Wesker took you and maybe if things had been different, if I had been there for you maybe that wouldn't have happened!"

Jill Valentine's mouth damn near dropped open. She was that shocked. The only ones who weren't surprised that this sweet girl was so ferociously hard on herself were Cheryl and Chris. Jill tried to speak. "R...Rebecca..."

The pixie really cried as she moaned, "I'll never understand why you never blamed me for that. You are my best friend, and I was never there for you. After you...a-after what happened to you...I needed to make up for that somehow. That's why I joined the BSAA, because I owed it to you to carry on your work in your memory. A-at first, Chris said no...he said I wanted to join the BSAA for all the wrong reasons. He knew I wanted to join but he disagreed so strongly when I said I failed you...!"

Jill was SERIOUSLY surprised by that. So was Sheva Alomar. Both were friends of Rebecca, and they had always thought it odd that Chris would never allow her to do more as an agent of the BSAA. Jill asked, "Chris???"

Sheepishly, Chris Redfield grunted, "It...it's true, Jill. This girl browbeated me for the longest time to work with us, especially after we brought you back home. I finally had to cave in, dammit! She even made me promise not to tell anyone else why she joined. She already felt horrible enough, and...was so afraid people would hate her." Chris looked down as Christine Yamata, Barry Burton and others could only feel astonishment. "You and Sheva asked why I was reluctant to really let her do more. Now you know why...!"

Sheva's expression almost melted as she understood...she sighed, "Oh, Chris...!" They had no idea the man was simply trying to be true to Rebecca keeping that promise. And at the same time, she totally understood now why Chris was reluctant to make the pixie a full agent in the field.

Jill understood too, and she loved that amazing man more than ever. Her love for her dear friend Rebecca was just as overwhelming as the poor girl broke into sobs being so laid completely bare. Jill drew very close to the pixie and felt like crying too as she purred, "You sweet, incredible girl. You didn't have to feel that way! Like Cheryl said, you're not responsible for me...!"

Becca's expression was heartbreaking as she managed to calm a little and moaned, "You're my best friend, Jill. Maybe I'm not responsible for you...but losing you made me realize that I owed it to myself to be there for you. I love you, Jill, and I wish I had been there...if only I was, maybe Wesker wouldn't have -- !"

"Shhh!" Jill's slender hands lifted and she cupped Rebecca's wet, adorable face with a loving touch...the pixie's eyes widened as she saw the expression on the valkyrie's face. Jill issued again much more tenderly, "Ssshhhhhh. If you had been there, only god knows what could have happened to you. It's totally all right that you weren't, sweetie." Jill did begin to cry as she gently wiped away Becca's tears and told the girl the perfect truth: "I swear nothing could change how much I love you too, and you've got nothing to be sorry for."

Just as Cheryl said.

Becca was still a total wreck as she glomped Jill, and they held each other for a long time.

--3--

Claire and Sherry came back to the lounge only ten minutes after they left. They had spent that much time to themselves, but neither of them felt like going any further than 'second base', and those of you with experience will know what that means. It would have felt wrong to go any further in this literally damned place, and they both prayed they would all win the day and then...well, they could focus on one another in a way they both yearned to later...!

They were both surprised as heck to see that Rebecca put herself through such a wringer, but she had gotten a lot better. The love from Jill, Sheva, Chris, Barry, Christine and others helped so much, and Cheryl was so happy to know that. Others shared quiet truths about themselves as they waited for Elza Walker to get better enough to walk and carry a gun. Elza honestly had the least to say...she was totally guileless when she said that disobeying traffic laws in Black Falls -- which got her into this whole fucking mess in the first place -- was the only thing she ever had reason to feel guilty for. That and doing a bunch of stupid grade school crap that ALL kids were guilty of in one way or another!

Barry Burton was a different story. The big bear made mention of his being careless at the wrong time keeping his firearms secure so that Moira and Polly couldn't access them. An accident happened, and he admitted that he couldn't take responsibility for that right away. He laid all of the blame on Moira when he was just as much at fault. His family had gotten stronger since, but the shame he felt from that still weighed heavily upon him. Everyone understood, and even those heroes present who didn't know Barry well couldn't judge him.

Other confessions quiet but humble were spoken. Claire and Sherry had nothing to say...they already spoke of everything they had to say to each other...but the angels kept gazing at each other as they held hands in a way that DEFINITELY got Chris' interest. Seeing them both warmed the hearts of Leon and Helena and of wedded couple Alex and Elle. They also knew what it meant to be in true love.

Besides Chris and Anne, only two others didn't say anything about themselves, mainly because for security's sake, they couldn't. The operators Regina and Rain. Then...there came a moment when Regina moved to Cheryl and the redhead said, "Cheryl, you and I need to have a talk. We need to do this in private, though."

Cheryl's brow crinkled as Becca felt a burst of apprehension. The girl from Silent Hill asked, "Why? What do you want to talk about?"

The SORT agent said quietly, "Things you wouldn't want anyone else to hear." The serious expression in Regina's eyes reflected how much she meant that.

Cheryl really frowned. "I...I want Becca to be there with us. She already knows everything about me."

"Then Chambers won't need an invitation."

The redhead's protegee Rain stepped closer and growled, "Hope I don't need one? I wanna come, too!"

Regina nodded. "Okay." She looked at the rest of the room and told everyone, "No one else is invited for this." The hardness in her lovely face definitely showed how much she meant that.

--4--

It took the four of them a moment to find another room down the hall from the lounge. Then they were alone. Rain was close by Regina's side as the redheaded operator started. "You might be the strongest of us, Cheryl. You can do things simply with force of will that would scare anyone. That worries me, but if Hell works the way you say it does, that also makes you the most vulnerable of us. We need you to save us, so I need to be sure you won't let your inner demons undermine you as we go after Meyers."

As Becca watched with quiet concern, Cheryl said flatly, "We'll need to do a few things before that, Regina...but whatever inner demons I have, I can deal with them. I won't let my baggage compromise me."

Regina looked at the pixie Cheryl loved and asked, "Do you believe that?"

Becca answered immediately, "Yes. Cheryl's a lot stronger than you think she is!"

"You have that much faith in her."

"Because I know Cheryl. I know what she's been through."

Regina nodded. "You must also know she looks at herself in such a terrible way. Right? It's not just because she blames herself for what happened to Black Falls...or because she blames herself for accidentally opening that gateway in Silent Hill when she was only a child."

The redhead looked at the girl from Silent Hill and continued, "It's because of all the shit you've had to suffer because of that woman Dahlia Gillespie. She was your mother, but she wasn't. You told us she used you, abused you, and finally violated you to bring her fake God to Earth." Regina's firm eyes really examined Cheryl then. "You see yourself in such a dark way, don't you? You gave a big hint of that by insisting on blaming yourself for things you couldn't control, for what Dahlia and then Meyers did to you. Maybe you even see yourself as the monster you're afraid others will call you?"

Regina crossed her arms under her bosom and finished, "That's the kind of hideous damage the worst kinds of pain can cause, Cheryl Mason. That's how dark the lives of those who are abused can become."

At that moment, Cheryl Mason started to get angry...with an outburst that shocked Rebecca, the blonde yelled, "What the FUCK do you think you know about what I've been through!? How could you even pretend to know a goddamn thing about how I feel!?!"

Regina calmly stared back at Cheryl and answered, "I know what it means to be a child of sadness. Trust me on this. I know."

The girl in black Rain looked at her mentor with sudden alarm. She knew what the lady meant and out of concern blurted, "R-Regina...!" But the redhead shot her protegee a HARD look and then lifted a gloved hand to her face. Her index finger nearly touched her lips as she communicated to her girl to shush. Rain fell silent and could only look at her.

Regina looked at Cheryl again and said, "I have a story to tell you. I'd rather you know this way because I don't want to invite you to look into my memories. Can you use your power to know without a doubt when someone is telling the truth?"

Still angry, Cheryl impatiently answered, "Yes!"

"Then read me that way as I talk...and you'll know I'm being honest." Regina took a few steps away and sat on the edge of the teacher's ruined desk. She began like this...

"I have a story to tell you about a little girl I remember. Right after she was born, her mother died of complications from her pregnancy. Translation: the doctors knew fuck-all about her problems or how to help her. From that day forth, she was raised by her father. He was a good and honorable man who always did his best. His means were relatively modest, but he always provided for his girl even though he was alone. He only had one other family member in the world, but he always got by himself as he brought her up." Regina gave a hint of a warm smile. "Your father Harry Mason must have been a lot like the man I'm talking about. I'm sure you would have liked him. He was devoted to his daughter in all of the ways a loving parent needed to be. He was strict and stern when he needed to be, too. For this little girl, her father became her rock, her one true certainty in life. She absolutely loved him.

"And then one day, her father was in a senseless automobile accident because of a drunk driver. The drunk asshole died. For almost two days, doctors did everything they could for her father in the ICU, but they were only delaying the inevitable because his condition was...critical. He really fought to stay...but he couldn't." Regina looked down at the ruined floor. "The little girl was eight years old when she lost her father."

The redhead looked at Cheryl again as she continued. "She would have gone to an orphanage, but like I said, her father had only one other relation. His older brother. The strange thing was, she had no idea she had an uncle. Her father never told her about him. It was only years later she found out her father's lawyer had fought his brother's motions to adopt her. That little girl didn't know at the time that her uncle had been arrested many times for...crimes involving kids.

"The word pedophile is pretty funny. It translates to 'lover of children'. It's such a cute and flowery way to describe something...so inhuman. I've heard that there have been times an alpha lion would kill the young male cubs so they don't grow to challenge his dominance over the pride. That's something you won't find in the lyrics when you hear that song about 'the circle of life'. Still, there's some things even animals wouldn't do. Only the very worst of humans could imagine and do...the worst of things.

"Her father's brother was one of those kind of predators, and I can imagine he must have wanted to protect her from him. That must have been why he never told her about her uncle. That had to be why he fought so hard to stay." Regina's voice became a little thicker in such a meaningful way as she mused, "I'm sure he loved his little girl that much.

"Turned out the uncle had a really good lawyer, and he successfully argued that since he had only been busted several times but never convicted of anything, then no one had the right to deny him custody of his niece. Any worry for her got lost in the bureaucratic shuffle, and then he had her. Things were all right at first. But only at first. Then he took her down to his basement one night, and that eight year old girl learned about things she would never have imagined in her darkest nightmares."

Becca, a truly loving and incredible girl, could only feel pure horror. Cheryl stared at Regina with an expression that was...far too neutral. Rain could only look at her mentor with empathy as the redhead continued the story. "The worst part of being trapped in that self-contained hell by a beast who needs to feed on you, who abuses you constantly for the smallest mistake as he's training you, is to live without love. It's like...sensory deprivation, only you're deprived of any sunlight. Any warmth. Even hope. This little girl did knew what that was like, Cheryl.

"She was in that hell for six years, and no one else knew. Makes me wonder how many homes in our world are really houses of horror. There can't be many, but even a few are too many. Like Alessa Gillespie, this girl learned to simply exist so thoroughly alone...she was pretty well trained and knew better than to upset the beast. But when she was 14, guess what?" Regina's full lips reflexively turned into a thin line as she said, "She got too old for him.

"The beast wanted her to make a new, younger friend so she could bring that child home to him. Didn't matter if it was a boy or a girl. Just as long as that child was young.

"But when she understood that she was going to be forced to bring another boy or girl to the beast, see them suffer in all of the ways she did, she woke up from her own misery. She never forgot her father, a good and honorable man, and she asked herself what he would do. She knew the answer. It took some waiting for the uncle to come back home from work..."

Regina kept her voice level as she said calmly, "...and I showed that piece of shit how old I was when I bashed his brains in with a baseball bat.

"It was a little league bat. The beast took it as a trophy from another child he preyed on long before then. I never played baseball, but I knew how to use it."

Cheryl could only look at Regina with pure sadness as she listened and KNEW without a doubt the operator was telling her the truth. The redhead continued much more neutrally, "I got arrested, and when the police realized what kind of monster my uncle was, I was still in quite a bit of trouble. It was premeditated murder by the letter of the law, but they had to wonder if any jury would ever convict me." She admitted dismissively, "I really didn't give a shit what happened. He was dead and would never touch me again, and he'd never hurt anymore kids. That was when this one agency that served the Department of Defense heard about me. They told me at worst I might be kept in a juvenile facility until I was 18, or I could volunteer for a...unique training program for covert operatives. The idea of serving my country sounded a lot better than sitting in jail. My dad was a veteran, you know." She closed her eyes. She said very softly, "I hope he's proud of me wherever he's resting now.

"God, I really hope I'll see him again in Heaven one day." Regina opened her eyes, looked at Cheryl again and smiled a bit. "Strange that I need to escape Hell on Earth first. You never know where life will take you, huh?"

The redhead moved from the desk and Rain and moved closer to Cheryl...her protegee and Becca could only watch as the girl from Silent Hill looked at the operator with wide, haunted eyes. Regina said with true knowledge, "I know all about abuse, Cheryl. I know what it's like to feel helpless. Hopeless. Alone. And more often than not, I blamed myself for it all." Quiet, heavy, terrible tears began to stream down Cheryl's cheeks...an expression of wounds within her that might never heal completely. "I grew to believe his molestations and beatings were my fault, and I earned a terrible self image for a really long time. I can imagine you've felt that way about yourself. Being able to use magic the way you do must have magnified that feeling that there was something wrong with you. If you hadn't been so different, maybe Dahlia would have loved you? If it wasn't for you, things would be better. You've looked back on things in that respect, haven't you?"

Becca could only feel such true pain herself as Cheryl stood there, frozen, as she wept...and the effort must have been monumental for the haunted girl to simply answer: ".....Yes."

Regina nodded. "That's what monsters like Dahlia Gillespie count on. They want you to hate yourself as much as they want to use you. You will always carry the memory of the pain you suffered in one of your lifetimes, and the same as me, I'm sure you know that kind of pain will never go away. The worst of scars can't fade to nothing. They'll stick with you whether you like it or not.

"But you can still heal from them. That's something I know. One day you'll be able to stop looking back at the darkness...and look forward toward the light."

Cheryl's hazel eyes were still so incredibly haunted and uncertain as she stared into space...she began to moan doubtfully, "But...I'm still so afraid I could be a monster...I could become like Dahlia -- "

Regina suddenly said, "Don't do that! Don't EVER buy into any bullshit you might have heard that 'those who are abused are likely to be abusers, too'! Have you ever honestly felt like you identified with Dahlia, that you wanted to prey upon and dominate everyone else through her God, too!?"

With a nova flare of disgust, Cheryl said with pure passion, "No!"

"Then you could never grow to be like her unless you wanted to be, and I can tell looking into your eyes you'd never want that." Regina shook her head sourly and looked at her protegee. "Assholes who would write off victims of abuse as 'likely to become just as bad' are lazy and want to keep things too damn simple."

Rain nodded and growled, "They hear about ugly shit like that and hope it'll never affect them, so it's easier for them to ignore it. Only kind of people who piss me off more are those postmodern know-it-alls who wanna make things more complicated, criticize every fuckin' thing and make us segregate into our own special groups!"

Regina nodded. "I'm sure they'd slap a label a label on people like me and Cheryl if they 'cared' enough."

Rebecca stared at the redhead with empathy and moaned, "That wouldn't solve anything, either...!"

Regina gazed at the pixie and purred, "Some problems don't have a cut and dry solution, Chambers. Reasonable people know that." She looked upon Cheryl again and told her, "We're each individuals. No one can put those who suffer similar things into a damn 'group' and declare they'll inevitably do this or that. You might as well say if someone is raised poor or they're a certain skin color or both, just write them off. That only makes more problems.

"The circumstances a person suffers as they grow don't decide what they become. You and I have gone through similar pain, but we can each choose who we are and what we'll end up becoming for ourselves." The operator paused for a few careful beats. "A very wise man once said behavior is the truth. Who someone is and how they affect their world is a reflection of who they are, not where they're from or...what they've been through. Your power does worry me, Cheryl. But all I've seen as you've expressed who you are has told me a lot. You'd have to earn my faith in the same way your girlfriend has, and all I can do is wait to see the truth of you when it's time to face Meyers and put an end to him. I can only pray that you are strong enough to get past everything that haunts you so you can do what you must."

Regina finally drew a bit closer to the girl from Silent Hill and urged, "If you want to heal, then live in spite of the memory of Dahlia Gillespie. Do what you know to be right. Let your girlfriend love you, let her heal you...and you will heal."

As she felt Rebecca's loving hands sweetly clasp one of hers, Cheryl Mason was really struggling to take everything the redheaded operator said to heart. The girl from Silent Hill knew it wouldn't be easy. The very best things could never be earned easily.

Unfortunately, they all had to worry about the tremendous problem of reaching Meyers and stopping this infernal nightmare first...!

TO BE CONTINUED
---
If you ever wondered how in the world Regina could have been recruited at the age of 15 (and that is in her bio!), now you know how.

It's absolutely true, no matter how much we want to deny it, that REAL horror exists in our world that makes the worst of things in Resident Evil and Silent Hill pale in comparison. I'm talking about the kind of horror a reasonable and loving person wouldn't want to imagine doing. Unfortunately, those like Cheryl and Regina suffer things like that every day either in their own homes or from random predators...not to mention there's terrible 'businesses' that profit from kids in unspeakable ways everywhere.

I learned about such things years ago because of an awesome writer and advocate for children, Andrew Vachss. If you're a geek like me and want to know more about his noble cause, all I have to do is refer you to his legendary "Batman: The Ultimate Evil". No signalling of any kind here, but this is for Vachss and all of the Children of the Secret.

In the next chapter, only a few more intimate moments must come to pass -- whether any kind of closure or not is still in question -- before our heroes prepare to hunt down Reeve Meyers, but they'll have to literally go through Hell to reach him!

Giving credit to those who provided the models for my art above!

XNALara created by Dusan Pavlicek; XPS by Dusan and XNAaraL

Models:

(In the first panel!)
Sherry Birkin by !
Claire Redfield by !

(In the second panel!)
Jill Valentine by again! :333
Rebecca Chambers by !

(In the last panel!)
Cheryl Mason by !
Regina by Navid! :333

Sceneries by and !