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Description
      Kathisophobia- Fear of sitting down

      Symptoms: Intense paranoia; wariness; tired legs; sore feet; strained back; restless legs;

weakened hips; avoidance of chairs; falling down directly onto face/back; fear of

chairs/couches/beanbags; fear of desks; fear of benches; being afraid of anything you can sit on.

      Things to avoid: Movie theaters; park benches; schools; auditoriums; cars; riding mowers;

couches; dining rooms; sitting down; parks; swings; toilets; lazy boy chairs; roller coasters;

airplanes; slides; restaurants; horses; sports events; bikes; chairs; canoes; motorcycles; kayaks;

bars; hair/nail salons; mopeds; small boats in general; and talk shows.

       Treatment/Response: Tie a pillow to your butt so you can sit down with the comfort of your own

Sitting Preventer ©; when falling backwards, always just LAND, don't try to right the fall; take a

running leap into chairs/bed; learn how to sleep standing up; learn how to sleep while hanging off

the ceiling; wear knee braces so you can lock your legs and stand for long periods of time; take

depressants/muscle relaxants; practice sitting down; become one of those robot street performers;

tackle chairs and practice sitting on them like that; defy gravity; first you squat then you sit; become

a member of the Round Table; and defy Oprah- jump up and down before sitting.

Description
      Kathisophobia- Fear of sitting down

      Symptoms: Intense paranoia; wariness; tired legs; sore feet; strained back; restless legs;

weakened hips; avoidance of chairs; falling down directly onto face/back; fear of

chairs/couches/beanbags; fear of desks; fear of benches; being afraid of anything you can sit on.

      Things to avoid: Movie theaters; park benches; schools; auditoriums; cars; riding mowers;

couches; dining rooms; sitting down; parks; swings; toilets; lazy boy chairs; roller coasters;

airplanes; slides; restaurants; horses; sports events; bikes; chairs; canoes; motorcycles; kayaks;

bars; hair/nail salons; mopeds; small boats in general; and talk shows.

       Treatment/Response: Tie a pillow to your butt so you can sit down with the comfort of your own

Sitting Preventer ©; when falling backwards, always just LAND, don't try to right the fall; take a

running leap into chairs/bed; learn how to sleep standing up; learn how to sleep while hanging off

the ceiling; wear knee braces so you can lock your legs and stand for long periods of time; take

depressants/muscle relaxants; practice sitting down; become one of those robot street performers;

tackle chairs and practice sitting on them like that; defy gravity; first you squat then you sit; become

a member of the Round Table; and defy Oprah- jump up and down before sitting.