chrysocome — the song
Published: 2012-10-21 13:06:30 +0000 UTC; Views: 314; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 1 Redirect to originalDescription
I feel it beginning again, and all I can do is wait. Its song, its all encompassing haunting song, streaming into me, riding along all my veins and neurons until it reaches my pounding heart. It can't be denied, no matter how hard I clamp my hands around my ears, and how loud I scream; every note seems to sweep through my being uninterrupted, unchanging, undeniable. So familiar, but more painful every time. I have heard this song all of my life, yet these days they seem more frequent, more intense, every note seems to arc throughout my entire body, paralysing every muscle, leaving me helpless, utterly helpless. The song wraps itself around my heart, turning it to a stone, frozen and heavy in my chest. What was warm and thriving now pulls my entire body down until I can fight it no longer, I fall to the ground, useless, puzzle pieces strewn on the floor. Its song takes away everything warm and loving and safe. I try to remember laughter, I try to remember how to smile, but what comes out is jagged and warped and broken. What is left is wordless, the only ones that come close sound like despair and sorrow and madness. It fills me with so much sadness that each breath hurts, the idea of trying to move is harder than moving a thousand mountains, and all I want to do is give in and let it take me, anything, anything just to make the sadness end. I have always heard its voice, but never seen its face, until recently in a feverish dream it finally looked me in the eye. Each eye so intensely blue, so bright that it leaves trails across my vision and I can barely see. It circles, flying overheard, I have never seen properly but I can hear it, and I know that it's coming to get me, and it wants to swallow me up. It has no pattern to its attacks, it strikes when things are well, fantastic even, it defies sense or logic or reason. All I can do is lie here, curled up and powerless on the ground, and wait for its song to end, and hope that I can keep fighting it, using the strength of those who hold me, and pray that the day never comes when I can fight it no longer, and it finally rises to envelop me into the unending dark.
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