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Description
A little vent wip from this chapter.

Xie Lian slams his fist into the ground in front of him. It’s enough to make his hand bleed from the impact but the ground also suffered damage.
‘Why? Why is any of this important!’ Xie Lian can feel the pit in his stomach from earlier return as it plummets down. ‘It’s not important! The past should remain where it is, in blissful ignorance!’
He’s going to shatter. He can feel the thin layer of glass he’d kept around him crack and it leaves him tired.
He’s so tired of existing. Tired of running, tired of pretending and tired of keeping everything to himself.
He’s tried so hard, his whole life to keep some kind of face, some kind of wholeness about himself.
He doesn’t want to show Hua Cheng how cruel or angry he can be. He doesn’t want to scare away the Crimson Ghost King.
His eyes drift to the split contents of the cauldron and he snaps. Not as bad as he did all those years ago when he lost everything, but it’s enough. Maybe had been right to start laughing while he told all those terrible stories of their unintentional shared past.
The grin spreads across his face as he blankly stares at the contents of what used to be of his cousin.
His shoulder shake in his quiet laughter as he signs become more hysterical to the point of being incoherent and Hua Cheng just watches him, patiently waiting.
‘It doesn’t matter. They are all dead now. Because you know why!? I was the one to take their lives. The King and An Le! Did I not kill them both!’ His breath catches in his throat. He grabs his abdomen, and curls in on himself as he silently screams, his laughter slowly turning to crying.
To mourning something that he wasn’t meant to. It was his fault. He killed any hope for Xianle and Yong’an to be integrated into a peaceful state. From beginning to end, it was all his fault. Was anyone else to blame? No.

Xie Lian grabs at his hair as he continues to laugh and cry at the same time. If only he could speak his troubles out, maybe it would calm his mind enough to think.
It was all his fault. He thought he could save everyone, so no matter who the blame was to actually go to it was always going to be him and what was wrong with that. He wasn’t
The Flower Crowned Prince he’d once been. He was the God of Misfortune.
And for all it was worth he deserved that title more than anyone, so who better to blame than him.
Even if he could return to this world with a new identity it seems his past would still follow him. So what was the point? All his faults and failures followed him around in the shadows readying themselves to destroy all that he’d manage to find. For all the good in the world, when had he ever done any good for his people? The ones he loved and cared for would eventually suffer because of him.

Description
A little vent wip from this chapter.

Xie Lian slams his fist into the ground in front of him. It’s enough to make his hand bleed from the impact but the ground also suffered damage.
‘Why? Why is any of this important!’ Xie Lian can feel the pit in his stomach from earlier return as it plummets down. ‘It’s not important! The past should remain where it is, in blissful ignorance!’
He’s going to shatter. He can feel the thin layer of glass he’d kept around him crack and it leaves him tired.
He’s so tired of existing. Tired of running, tired of pretending and tired of keeping everything to himself.
He’s tried so hard, his whole life to keep some kind of face, some kind of wholeness about himself.
He doesn’t want to show Hua Cheng how cruel or angry he can be. He doesn’t want to scare away the Crimson Ghost King.
His eyes drift to the split contents of the cauldron and he snaps. Not as bad as he did all those years ago when he lost everything, but it’s enough. Maybe had been right to start laughing while he told all those terrible stories of their unintentional shared past.
The grin spreads across his face as he blankly stares at the contents of what used to be of his cousin.
His shoulder shake in his quiet laughter as he signs become more hysterical to the point of being incoherent and Hua Cheng just watches him, patiently waiting.
‘It doesn’t matter. They are all dead now. Because you know why!? I was the one to take their lives. The King and An Le! Did I not kill them both!’ His breath catches in his throat. He grabs his abdomen, and curls in on himself as he silently screams, his laughter slowly turning to crying.
To mourning something that he wasn’t meant to. It was his fault. He killed any hope for Xianle and Yong’an to be integrated into a peaceful state. From beginning to end, it was all his fault. Was anyone else to blame? No.

Xie Lian grabs at his hair as he continues to laugh and cry at the same time. If only he could speak his troubles out, maybe it would calm his mind enough to think.
It was all his fault. He thought he could save everyone, so no matter who the blame was to actually go to it was always going to be him and what was wrong with that. He wasn’t
The Flower Crowned Prince he’d once been. He was the God of Misfortune.
And for all it was worth he deserved that title more than anyone, so who better to blame than him.
Even if he could return to this world with a new identity it seems his past would still follow him. So what was the point? All his faults and failures followed him around in the shadows readying themselves to destroy all that he’d manage to find. For all the good in the world, when had he ever done any good for his people? The ones he loved and cared for would eventually suffer because of him.