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After a long time of dealing with personal life and peer pressure, I have something to confess:

I've gotten increasingly concerned about myself as I come to realize that I have wasted my youth due to my lack of social skills, real-life friends (though I have one but still), my declining health and being unproductive nowadays as result since I'm demotivated. All of this is influenced due to my personal experience with school back in the late 2000s and early-to-mid 2010s where I was abused (both verbally and physically) 24/7 since I don't "fit in" with society as a whole. Though this stopped when I went to Canada from 2014 to 2019, I felt disillusioned considering the increased isolation that I've been subjected to even after returning home years later (only for the COVID-19 pandemic to worsen it).

This morning while I was trying to hang my clothes, I slowly broke down in tears due to being anxious of what happen to me in the future if I keep resigning myself to a dull, bland life of being unable to achieve anything (worst part is that I'm a caretaker to a family member in need who really depends on me). It feels like I'm in a never-ending loop that only leads to a self-destructive path sooner or later. Though I can do something or more even when working on my content, I'm still quite unhappy as my creativity is rather deadened and it's nothing new to me anymore. However, it will not let me go as it keeps holding on until I (presumably) recover from this.

My sincere apologies to anyone out there (mutuals included) but I had to get it off my heart as I couldn't keep my "mask of happiness" on regarding the real-life issues I'm facing. Feel free to hit me up with something as I'm trying to keep my chin up and move on with my life.

Thank you for listening and take care, folks.

Description

After a long time of dealing with personal life and peer pressure, I have something to confess:

I've gotten increasingly concerned about myself as I come to realize that I have wasted my youth due to my lack of social skills, real-life friends (though I have one but still), my declining health and being unproductive nowadays as result since I'm demotivated. All of this is influenced due to my personal experience with school back in the late 2000s and early-to-mid 2010s where I was abused (both verbally and physically) 24/7 since I don't "fit in" with society as a whole. Though this stopped when I went to Canada from 2014 to 2019, I felt disillusioned considering the increased isolation that I've been subjected to even after returning home years later (only for the COVID-19 pandemic to worsen it).

This morning while I was trying to hang my clothes, I slowly broke down in tears due to being anxious of what happen to me in the future if I keep resigning myself to a dull, bland life of being unable to achieve anything (worst part is that I'm a caretaker to a family member in need who really depends on me). It feels like I'm in a never-ending loop that only leads to a self-destructive path sooner or later. Though I can do something or more even when working on my content, I'm still quite unhappy as my creativity is rather deadened and it's nothing new to me anymore. However, it will not let me go as it keeps holding on until I (presumably) recover from this.

My sincere apologies to anyone out there (mutuals included) but I had to get it off my heart as I couldn't keep my "mask of happiness" on regarding the real-life issues I'm facing. Feel free to hit me up with something as I'm trying to keep my chin up and move on with my life.

Thank you for listening and take care, folks.