HOME | DD

Description
Why did I do it? What was I thinking?

Not knowing what to do, or how could I have done something so stupid, I just ran. Fuck! Why didn’t I do anything!? Now I had a mistake in which I would pay for with the rest of my days. I could feel my demise slowly approaching me; the wheels of fate already turning against me….

I ran as fast as I could not caring about anything. As I tried to escape, memories of her keep flashing in my head. I kept on thinking about the way her eyes seem to dazzle me. I had no idea how I was going to explain what I just done, but I needed to come up with something. There was a slight chance she could not identify me, considering I had my mask on, as I keep my hood right over my head hiding most of my profile. All she could have seen where my eyes…but even then failure was not an option in this line of work. I felt like I was only making excuses to myself, something that a soldier should never do. Shit!
The fact that I was supposed to return a call to HQ to give my report, whether I completed the mission or not, completely slipped my mind. Or maybe it was just my subconscious making me deny my own failure. I decided to go there tomorrow in person, and try to fix the mess I just made. I was surely not in the mood to take on more bullshit, if I did was surely going to lose my mind. I needed to come up with a way to get rid of all the evidence I had left and somehow someway get rid of the girl as well. I sighed … as soldiers job was never easy and at times it was not in the very lease enjoyable.

I rushed home trying to forget everything, as it started to rain down on me. The rain-washed away the tears that streamed down my face, caring the frustration I felt for being so stupid, so careless and so weak. I was not supposed to show any weakness or regret any of my actions, yet I felt my conscious taking over after all these years. I had just spared the life of a girl, a life that could destroy everything I worked so hard to build over the years. I don’t know what took over me back then. But for some reason I was afraid... of myself.

It was not long before I reached the sector in which I lived in. The streets were dirty, and you could see courtesans doing their jobs outside, hiding no shame or remorse. On the ground the rotting corpses of people laid. Most of these corpses belonged to the homeless that begged to others and prayed on their pity, to maybe find enough to fill their belies for the night. Others belonged to those that where assaulted and stripped of their belongings, left in the cold streets, to bleed to death. People around here grown cold and heartless, unable to feel pity or bury human corpses or people who were murdered violently around these parts. At most they threw salt on the body, to keep it from rotting violently and leaving the stench of decaying flesh behind.

I walked slowly up the steps of my apartment, as I could hear moans of pleasure coming from the other rooms around mine. I paid not much attention to it as I opened the door and left myself in. I threw my belt along with my shirt in the floor as I walked in, and it blended in with the clothes from days before. I headed directly to the kitchen to get some water in my system. I could feel my throat burning and my muscles tensing. As I pour myself something to drink I removed the mask that concealed most of my face, and place it on the counter next to my daggers. I took at deep breath as I took the glass filled with water to my lips. I knew I needed to calm down, especially as I felt the glass I carried beginning to crack within my hold. After I finished drinking the water I headed to my room slamming the door open. I was so furious that seeing the door bounce back my way pissed me of. I let out a scream, and without thinking I started punching the wall, making my knuckles bleed with every punch I threw. I could not believe that after all these years I was still so weak. Had I not learned anything at all? I was suppose to be emotionless… a monster… not caring about anything other than my… wellbeing. And here I was slacking off at work letting a witness live. Didn’t I know any better?

I stopped punching the wall after a while, blood slowly dripping off my hand, short of breath while I tried to pull myself together. I ran my hand over my face, pushing the sweaty locks of hair out of my eyes and streaking my face with my blood. I knew better than to let my anger control me, but I could not help it. I was furious. I looked around my room and noticed that it was dark, just like it always was. But because of the hour, moonlight lightly reflected itself on the mirror I had on the far left corner of my room. I’ve never seen this happen before, considering I never came home this early. I always found myself with something to do, something to kill time with before coming back in here. Home for me was just a ceiling over my head in which I could sleep without being disturbed.

I walked up to the mirror trying to remember why I had this there. After a few moments it came back to me; all the courtesans I ever brought home seemed to ask for one. Not that I cared, I never tried to use it for my own benefit. But tonight, the shimmering of the moonlight made me curious to see what lingered in it’s reflection.

Description
Why did I do it? What was I thinking?

Not knowing what to do, or how could I have done something so stupid, I just ran. Fuck! Why didn’t I do anything!? Now I had a mistake in which I would pay for with the rest of my days. I could feel my demise slowly approaching me; the wheels of fate already turning against me….

I ran as fast as I could not caring about anything. As I tried to escape, memories of her keep flashing in my head. I kept on thinking about the way her eyes seem to dazzle me. I had no idea how I was going to explain what I just done, but I needed to come up with something. There was a slight chance she could not identify me, considering I had my mask on, as I keep my hood right over my head hiding most of my profile. All she could have seen where my eyes…but even then failure was not an option in this line of work. I felt like I was only making excuses to myself, something that a soldier should never do. Shit!
The fact that I was supposed to return a call to HQ to give my report, whether I completed the mission or not, completely slipped my mind. Or maybe it was just my subconscious making me deny my own failure. I decided to go there tomorrow in person, and try to fix the mess I just made. I was surely not in the mood to take on more bullshit, if I did was surely going to lose my mind. I needed to come up with a way to get rid of all the evidence I had left and somehow someway get rid of the girl as well. I sighed … as soldiers job was never easy and at times it was not in the very lease enjoyable.

I rushed home trying to forget everything, as it started to rain down on me. The rain-washed away the tears that streamed down my face, caring the frustration I felt for being so stupid, so careless and so weak. I was not supposed to show any weakness or regret any of my actions, yet I felt my conscious taking over after all these years. I had just spared the life of a girl, a life that could destroy everything I worked so hard to build over the years. I don’t know what took over me back then. But for some reason I was afraid... of myself.

It was not long before I reached the sector in which I lived in. The streets were dirty, and you could see courtesans doing their jobs outside, hiding no shame or remorse. On the ground the rotting corpses of people laid. Most of these corpses belonged to the homeless that begged to others and prayed on their pity, to maybe find enough to fill their belies for the night. Others belonged to those that where assaulted and stripped of their belongings, left in the cold streets, to bleed to death. People around here grown cold and heartless, unable to feel pity or bury human corpses or people who were murdered violently around these parts. At most they threw salt on the body, to keep it from rotting violently and leaving the stench of decaying flesh behind.

I walked slowly up the steps of my apartment, as I could hear moans of pleasure coming from the other rooms around mine. I paid not much attention to it as I opened the door and left myself in. I threw my belt along with my shirt in the floor as I walked in, and it blended in with the clothes from days before. I headed directly to the kitchen to get some water in my system. I could feel my throat burning and my muscles tensing. As I pour myself something to drink I removed the mask that concealed most of my face, and place it on the counter next to my daggers. I took at deep breath as I took the glass filled with water to my lips. I knew I needed to calm down, especially as I felt the glass I carried beginning to crack within my hold. After I finished drinking the water I headed to my room slamming the door open. I was so furious that seeing the door bounce back my way pissed me of. I let out a scream, and without thinking I started punching the wall, making my knuckles bleed with every punch I threw. I could not believe that after all these years I was still so weak. Had I not learned anything at all? I was suppose to be emotionless… a monster… not caring about anything other than my… wellbeing. And here I was slacking off at work letting a witness live. Didn’t I know any better?

I stopped punching the wall after a while, blood slowly dripping off my hand, short of breath while I tried to pull myself together. I ran my hand over my face, pushing the sweaty locks of hair out of my eyes and streaking my face with my blood. I knew better than to let my anger control me, but I could not help it. I was furious. I looked around my room and noticed that it was dark, just like it always was. But because of the hour, moonlight lightly reflected itself on the mirror I had on the far left corner of my room. I’ve never seen this happen before, considering I never came home this early. I always found myself with something to do, something to kill time with before coming back in here. Home for me was just a ceiling over my head in which I could sleep without being disturbed.

I walked up to the mirror trying to remember why I had this there. After a few moments it came back to me; all the courtesans I ever brought home seemed to ask for one. Not that I cared, I never tried to use it for my own benefit. But tonight, the shimmering of the moonlight made me curious to see what lingered in it’s reflection.