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It’s been awhile since we’ve met
Your face looks good
You got prettier, you were always beautiful in my eyes

I rushed down the street, I was late meeting Dean, but I was knocked to the ground by an unknown force. I grunted at the impact and looked around me. I sat up and beside me was someone I thought I would never see again.
I stood up and held my hand out for her to take, but she didn’t even glance my way as she got up. Taking her in, I felt a sense of nostalgia. She was beautiful, the way her hair blew in the afternoon breeze, her plush cheeks. she was amazing, and she was (Y/N).

But today you look a bit different
You look especially a bit cold
Your eyes that look at me are filled with pity
In front of you, I seem smaller

I tried to be fine, trying to change the subject
Though I had so much I wanted to ask you

You cut me off right away
your long hair flowing

She looks up at me, and I notice her eyes. Dull, lifeless, no sign of happiness. She sighs shakily as she recognizes me.
Hesitantly, she opens her mouth to speak. “Are you still… you know?” she asks.
I look everywhere but her, and sighs again, already knowing my answer.
We stand in silence for a few moments. Every once in a while she’d glance up at me. The look in her eyes made me want to sink into the ground. she was looking at me with pity.
So many things were running through my head. How are you doing? Are you still hunting? You aren’t hunting alone, right? That could get you killed, but you know that. Have you moved on? Found someone else, perhaps? Or does your heart still lie with me? You know, Dean misses you. So do I.
I clear my throat. “So, how have you-” I start softly.
“Stop, Sam. Just- just stop ut,” she says, holding a hand up, then pinching the bridge of her nose. Her hair blows around her face. she looks lovely, and my heart is breaking.

As it hit my cheek and passed away
You turn away and left right away

if I try to catch you here, would that be ridiculous

She brushes past me, her hair fluttering against my arm slightly, and I want to hold her and never let her go. Instead, I turn and watch her go.
‘Keep it together, man,’ I tell myself, but that doesn’t stop the tears from falling.

Nothing comes to mind
As you tremble, you take a step, two steps back
You say that I scare you now
You’re like a moon that makes me go crazy

I love you, baby I’m not a monster
You know how I was in the past
When time passes, it’ll all disappear
Then you will know, baby

“You’re better than this, Sam! I know you are, why can’t you realise that?!” she yells.
“This is helping me, (Y/N)! Why can’t you realize that?!” I’m shouting, and I can tell she’s scared. This was just another one of those fights. The ones we have almost every day now.
“Oh, I don’t know,” she says sarcastically. “It can’t be because I fucking saw you sucking her blood like some crazed vampire or anything. Or because I knew you were doing it well before that. And it’s not like, you know, being addicted to demon blood doesn’t make you a complete asshat all around the clock. Oh, no.”
“How do you not understand?? It’s making me stronger. And I need to be stronger!”
“You know what,” she says, voice low. She runs a hand through her hair, laughing in a shocked manner. “I’m done. Hyeah. I’m fucking done. I should have left a long time ago.” Turning towards her duffel, she starts packing things into it.
“(Y/N)...”
“Shut up.”
“(Y/N)... plea-”
“I said shut up!” she exclaims, turning to face me.
I clench my jaw. How could she be so stupid? Of all people she should understand.
Picking up her duffel she begins to make her way towards the door. I grab her arm.
“Where are you going?” I ask.
“Let go of me,” she said. She’s trying to be calm.
“Answer the question.”
“I said let go.”
“Let go of her, Sam,” came Dean’s hard voice from the doorway. I glare at him and tighten my grip, missing (Y/N)’s pained expression.
“Now!” Dean’s voice fills the room with power. Hesitantly I let go and she runs to Dean. Leaning up, she mumbled something into his ear and heads to the door.
“Goodbye, Sam Winchester,” she says loudly as she opens the door. “And good riddance.” She walks out, slamming the door behind her.
“Sammy, what the hell is wrong with you?”

I need you, baby I’m not a monster
You know me, so don’t leave me like this
If even you throw me away, I will die
I’m not a monster

No matter what happens, let’s be forever
When we’re sad, when we’re happy, let’s go ‘til the end
You don’t say that tomorrow
Let’s love like today is the last

(Y/N) used to always say that if we tried, and we truly loved each other, we could get through anything. And that always kept me going. She doesn’t say that anymore. Even if she did, she’s not here to say it, is she? Now the only thing that keeps me going is Ruby. She’s the only one that’s gets me. But the difference is that I still love (Y/N), and I could never love Ruby that way.
Standing up, I grab my jacket and walk out the door. I have someone to meet.

A life without you is like imprisonment for life
An extinction from the world to the point where I’d go crazy
You’re existence is a chronic disease, a repetition of pain
You’re a lingering attachment in my heart

“Hey,” she smiles, opening the door.
“Hi,” I say. ‘This is why (Y/N) left you,’ says a voice in my head, but I push it away.

The people of the world have turned their backs against me
The corners of their eyes are all twisted up
The greatest pain to me
Is the fact that you became the same as them

I glance at myself in the mirror briefly before looking back at the running tap. I continue to scrub the blood off my face until it looks like there hadn’t been any there in the first place.
Grabbing my jacket again I head out the door. I know where (Y/N) is going to be tonight, and while she may not know it, I’m accompanying her. Whether she like it or not.

I love you, baby I’m not a monster
You know how I was in the past
When time passes, it’ll all disappear
Then you will know baby

I need you, baby I’m not a monster
You know me so don’t leave me like this
If even you throw me away I will die
I’m not a monster

“What do you want?” she asks.
“You.”
“Excuse me?”
“Look, (Y/N), I… I want you back,” I say.
“No,” she says sharply.
“What?” I ask.
“I said no. Do you think I’m stupid, Winchester? I know you went to see her before you came here. Do you think it was easy for me to leave? Well it wasn’t, it tore me apart and I still haven’t picked up all the pieces. I wish I could go back to you, but I can’t with the way you’re acting. I still love you, Sam.”
“I love you, too.”
“I know,” she mumbles. Her voice is cracking and tears are falling from her eyes.

Don’t go, don’t go, don’t go, don’t leave me
Don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t do it, it’s not like you
Getting farther away, love is breaking apart.

Don’t find me, don’t find me, don’t find me, don’t look for me
The last, last image
Of me in front of you, remember that, don’t forget me

She looks up at me, trying not to cry, and shakes her head. Head down, she brushes past me for the second time today.
Grabbing her arm weakly, I mumble three words: please don’t go.
She easily shakes me off, my arm falling limply at my side.
“Don’t look for me,” she says. Her voice is hard, and I can feel my heart breaking. “Don’t even dare. If you see me on the street, ignore me. I can’t take this anymore.” With that she walks away.
“Please don’t forget me, kitten.”

I love you, baby I’m not a monster
You know me, so don’t leave like this
If even you throw me away, I will die
I’m not a monster

I need you, baby I’m not a monster
You know me, so don’t leave like this
If even you throw me away, I will die
I’m not a monster

Here I am, letting the tears fall. Why? I just let the love of my life, the woman I was planning on proposing to, walk away forever, all because I got addicted to demon blood.
I realise now that….

I think I’m sick, I think I’m sick
I think I’m sick, I think I’m sick

... … she’s not ever going to come back.