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deepinsidemyself — Worst Fears
Published: 2002-12-03 00:24:33 +0000 UTC; Views: 124; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 25
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Description
FearShe sits in her room
Wondering if it’s out there
Behind the door
Living in fear of what
That thing is
She sits there still
Wrapped up in her corner
Her eyes wide open
She is so scared
Always thinking something
Is going to leap out and snatch her away
Cowering back just a little more
With a tiny squeak
Covering her head with her blue blanket
Trying to make her nightmare end
She knows it will not
Her nightmare will still be there when she comes out
It’s just behind the door
The thing that will kill her
Screaming now
Clawing her way
To the bed so
She can hide
She doesn’t make it
She passes out from exhaustion before that happens
Blissfully sleeping now…
Finally away from her worst fear
She is somewhere where
It cannot get her
Sleeping as she is
The door slowly opens
In the doorway stands
The one thing she fears above all else
She has lived with it her whole life
This terrifying monster…
This thing goes by one name
One that is said in every house
One that usually brings joy and comfort
That word is…
Mother
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Comments: 2
Villification is a bit strong here-you don't really present any reasons, just that you fear her and she's kinda evil, a monster. Not that there's anything wrong with that, in fact in may well be intentional-just something I noticed.
Plus-side: Solid structural skills here, get in say what you want, and get out. That's very good and keeps you from getting lost. Decent length too.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
i wish i could see this, but you have an error with your program and all it shows are a couple of funny symbols. resubmit and tell me when you do, please.
i would like to see your work.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0