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One day there were three little pigs whose grandma was eaten by a wolf who liked to huff and puff. They liked to wear red. A LOT. I mean, they liked it so much that when they walked downtown, all the townsfolk were like "Oh, here comes the red pig gang again, to raise some hell". But they weren't really a troublesome gang, they were just misunderstood. So because they didn't have a grandma to visit, they decided to go to Humpty Dumpty's house. Well, it wasn't really a house so much as a giant brick wall that he sat on all day like a giggling idiot. So they walked through the woods and along the way they met the gingerbread man who said "Nah nah nah nah nah, you can't catch me i'm the gingerbread man!" So the littlest pig said "We don't really care" and the gingerbread man said "Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?" so the middlest pig said "You are just a little walking abomanation against nature. We are going to visit the living giant egg, Humpty Dumpty, and he's a BIG abomanation against nature. You are unimportant to our task." The biggest pig, whose name was gregor, said "We should bring him with us in case we get hungry" the littlest pig said "K" and grabbed the gingerbread man, who was horrified at being quite literally eaten by a bunch of pigs. So off they went on their walk through the generic spooky woods on their way to meet Humpty Dumpty. At this point it would be good to mention that the gingerbread man was scared of owls. And if he sees an owl, he gets scared and screams his lungs out. And predictably enough, an owl came swooping down. So predictably enough, the gingerbread man got scared and screamed his tiny candy button heart out. Oddly enough, for such a little guy, the gingerbread man has an extremely loud scream. Everyone within a ten mile radius experienced the extremely loud scream. And at this point it's safe to say that everyone within that ten mile radius would have hearing problems in the near future. So Gregor and the middlest pig scared off the owl while the littlest pig got the gingerbread man to shut up. From that point on, owls would always say "who?" because they had hearing problems due to the gingerbread mans scream. After that horific event, the three little red riding pigs and the gingerbread man continued on their journey. Within the hour, the three pigs and the gingerbread man all exited the generic spooky forest. As they exited the forest, they saw twelve brothers. The youngest brother said "Pardon us, but can you see that flag in the distance?" The middlest pig said "Yes, why?" The youngest brother said "all twelve of us are colorblind, and if that flag is red, then we have a sister and we will be killed, but if that flag was white, we would be spared death and could return to the castle." So the middlest pig said "In that case, the flag is white." The brothers thanked middlest, and ran back to the castle in the distance. The littlest pig said "But middle, the flag looked red to me." Middlest said "I know, but they seemed like major pricks to me." So the three pigs and the gingerbread man continued their journey. Along the way to Humpty's wall, they went up to a wise frog and asked him if he knew the way to Humpty Dumpty, because they had become lost. The wise frog said that they had to go to the west to continue their journey. He gave them a warning though. "The way to sir Dumpty's wall is guarded by the wolf who likes to huff and puff. he likes the taste of pigs" The gingerbread man said "Aww that's too bad guys, you might be eaten. Don't worry, i'll give a eulogy at your funerals." The wise frog said "But mr. Breadman, the wolf who likes to huff and puff likes to eat gingerbread as much as he likes to devour pigs" "Aww crudcakes" said the gingerbreadman. So they continued westward on their journey. A few hours later, they at last came to the passage where the wolf who liked to huff and puff was waiting. The scary wolf said "Little pigs, little pigs, let me in." And so Gregor said "Not by the facial hair on my chin." So the wolf said "Then I'll huff and I'll puff, and i'll blow your faces in!" Gregor told the other pigs to get behind him, and the wolf charged right at them. So Gregor reached into his pocket, pulled out a brick, and threw it right at the wolf's head, knocking him out. "We have avenged our grandma" said Gregor. "LET'S TAKE HIS WALLET!" said the middlest pig. And so, they looted everything that the wolf had to his name, and afterwards they continued westward, to Humpty's wall. Within a half hour, they finally got there. Humpty dumpty said "Howdy boys." Littlest said "You should be careful on that wall" Humpty Dumpty said "What's the worst that could happen?" Middlest said "Well... You could fall, and then all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't put you back together again." Humpty said "Yeah, like that'll happen." Then he jumped down and shook hands with the gingerbreadman. "I've heard about your antics mr. breadman. You are a true hero to us abomanations." he said. "And now boys, I heard about this really hot girl who is forced to live in a tower, and she can grow her hair long at will. Maybe if I go to save her, I'll be heavily rewarded, in more ways then one, if ya know what I'm saying." The middlest pig said "Ooh, can we come too?" Humpty dumpty said "Sure thing boys." And so off they went on their journey to save "The really hot girl". And that is a story for another day.

Teh end