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Description
Something I did based on a pair of my favorite artists (relmartist & joyceartworks) because they're the only ones capable of representing sexuality as something beatiful without falling into the morbid or sick, although now that I'm a bit more experienced I suspect it's an easy mistake to make since not everyone knows what's like to make love, they've only known sex.
That was one of the things that surprised me the most when I became sexually active again, and I'm not implying I had bad experiences (in fact I was able to come in all of these) but they weren't able to take me out of this world or elevate me to a higher state of consciousness at all. It's terrible that I was suppoused to continue the rest of my life like this, and it's even worse to think that the vast majority form a home/life/family with someone who isn't capable of making them feel this wonderful, which is why I decided to step back from these aspects of life... which is a bold move on my part considering that something for the life of me I need right now is moving out without having a job lmao but I just don't want to give up bits of my soul ever again.
The only thing almost as tempting as suicide for me rn is the possibility of making love again, because for me it was something that changed me and my life forever for the better: not only I experienced a psychological change but also my body changed. It felt like I gota wound that bled all my life inside of me cauterized and certainly, even though I don't feel any kind of urge because of how full I am (although just by remembering the time i made love my mouth starts watering) it would be more than welcome considering how awful I've felt. I also should mention that having sex had a physical and emotional wear to me to the point it started affecting myself psychologically as well: I just can't be normal and settle for someone who can give me everything but this, I just can't ignore my own potential.
Here I tried to represent how making love felt for me although this drawing falls show compared to that experience. For those who have tripped it felt very much like that i.e when you completely forget about the physical aspect of you and just exist, and also the tremendous mental effort involver in coming back to earth just for a bit.

Description
Something I did based on a pair of my favorite artists (relmartist & joyceartworks) because they're the only ones capable of representing sexuality as something beatiful without falling into the morbid or sick, although now that I'm a bit more experienced I suspect it's an easy mistake to make since not everyone knows what's like to make love, they've only known sex.
That was one of the things that surprised me the most when I became sexually active again, and I'm not implying I had bad experiences (in fact I was able to come in all of these) but they weren't able to take me out of this world or elevate me to a higher state of consciousness at all. It's terrible that I was suppoused to continue the rest of my life like this, and it's even worse to think that the vast majority form a home/life/family with someone who isn't capable of making them feel this wonderful, which is why I decided to step back from these aspects of life... which is a bold move on my part considering that something for the life of me I need right now is moving out without having a job lmao but I just don't want to give up bits of my soul ever again.
The only thing almost as tempting as suicide for me rn is the possibility of making love again, because for me it was something that changed me and my life forever for the better: not only I experienced a psychological change but also my body changed. It felt like I gota wound that bled all my life inside of me cauterized and certainly, even though I don't feel any kind of urge because of how full I am (although just by remembering the time i made love my mouth starts watering) it would be more than welcome considering how awful I've felt. I also should mention that having sex had a physical and emotional wear to me to the point it started affecting myself psychologically as well: I just can't be normal and settle for someone who can give me everything but this, I just can't ignore my own potential.
Here I tried to represent how making love felt for me although this drawing falls show compared to that experience. For those who have tripped it felt very much like that i.e when you completely forget about the physical aspect of you and just exist, and also the tremendous mental effort involver in coming back to earth just for a bit.