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devilmed — which Are You?
Published: 2009-03-24 17:49:05 +0000 UTC; Views: 152; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 3
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Description
I am water.I can fill your imaginations thirst.
I can rescue you from drowning in your boredom.
I can save you from life's worst.
Come play with me,
splash into my world.
I'll share with you my ripples of experiences.
Down, out, over and through the twists & the swirls.
I am fire.
I'm wild and hot.
I go where I please.
You'd have to flood me to stop.
I'm always on the move,
Won't you join me in my never-ending dance?
If you cannot keep up,
then devour you I simply can.
I am wind.
I travel high beyond the reaches that many have flown.
I glide through the years as I whisper to your ears.
I'm wit-ful and sly, as I carry myself on my weaving throne.
I cannot be contained,
I am an independent creature.
I am the air that you breathe, I am the life that you need,
I am one and the same, I am the main feature!
I am water.
I have no shape or form.
I can take up any figure.
I travel carelessly anywhere just like a storm.
Let me slowly romance through you,
invoke the sweetest of sensations.
Allow me to free-flow,
so I can wash away your life's frustrations.
I am many, I am numerous,
so if you burn me, you need not apologize.
I'll be gone but I'll be back.
With patience alone, I will be your prize.
I am fire.
Blazing away the city-side, I care not what I burn through.
I'll consume anything and everything.
This is being alive, that's what I do.
I am earth.
I'm simple yet complex.
I am no stranger,
to what comes next.
I am water,
If you'll let me, I can fill that gaping hole
A silent swim, that's so bold and clear.
I can take you to the depths of your soul.
I am wind.
I am free to wander, I am free to think.
I move without any bounds.
I move without question, I'm here, then there, then gone, in a blink.
I love freely to everyone and everything.
I give to those that want me,
and take from those that detest me.
Just take a deep hint and breathe me in.
I am fire.
I have no fear.
This is my life, the life that I cherish,
the life that I lead.
If you cannot contain me, if you cannot maintain me,
I'll just hurt you and leave you to a crisp.
I'm sorry, this is my soul that feeds.
I am what I am, go on, read my scorching lips.
I am earth.
I am the rock that lets you move, I am the soil that gives you life.
I'm compassionate, motherly,
I am your salvation from strife.
I bear you fruit and shelter you warm.
I give you balance and protect you from the storms.
I have many shapes that you can bear witness to.
but most of all, I will stand my ground to love and protect you.
I am everything.
That's what you'd like me to say.
I can be and do it all,
I can shift into every way.
I am nothing.
I'm not at all any of these.
What will you say to that now?
Come closer, tell me what you please.
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Comments: 4
It's really a great poem! Though the people who reacted previously are all right in some way, I still really really like your poem! It's adorable! I was really surprised when you shifted from wind back to water, and not to earth, but I think that's really great since you seem to have given every ancient element a unique meaning throughout your poem! It was also fun to see a little resemblance with one of my own poems, which is about the directions of the wind, I think it resembles it, because it's both about four things which somehow can't be separated and still are each other's opposites!
I'd like to see more of this, much more!
Cya!
~lefty2009
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Firstly,
"I am the air that you breathe, I am the life that you need,"
I love this sentence.
And I also enjoyed reading this very much, but something about
"Just take a deep breath and breathe me in." just doesn't sound right to me.
I think it's because you used breath and breathe so close together, and I'd love to see something a little more varied.
Other than that. Wonderful.
I'll read the rest of the serie once I have time. You've intrigued me.
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One tiny spelling error...whispher should be whisper.
I like the subject matter of the poem, the elements, and your use of font, word choice, and you have a very clear voice.
However, you don't HAVE to end all your lines with punctuation- maybe you should just pick what flows best and end there.
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It's not too bad, but I personally don't like it much. It's probably because it's hard for me tofind a rythem or something to hold onto. I suggest looking it over and seeing where you can put changes to make it flow a lot nicer.
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