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devotedwritter93 — Finally Spoken
Published: 2012-01-28 20:10:58 +0000 UTC; Views: 380; Favourites: 9; Downloads: 4
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Description Speaking has always Been my biggest challenge.  That's why I write. I hide behind my words. But standing here looking into your sad blue eyes, I know I have to get over that fear, and speak words I've kept hidden from everyone for the past 2 ½ years. Ever since I officially SHUT DOWN

But, the words are stuck in my throat, and the emotion behind them is making me tremble. I can feel the tears gather in my eyes, so I turn away and bury my face in my hands. I'm desperate to hide my Weakness.
That's the moment you finally let your guard down and gather me in your arms and lift me from the ground, holding me as tight as you possibly can, almost as if you were trying to hold me together.
When you place me back on the ground you take my face and gently cradle it in your hands, looking into my eyes with more emotion then I've ever seen displayed towards me before.
"It's going to be okay," you say to me as your finger gently stroke away stray tears sliding down  my cheeks. I shake my head unbelieving and bury my face into  your chest, once again trying to hide the weakness dripping from my eyes.

"Look at me," you say, as I begin shaking my head. "Look. At. Me." you place your finger under my chin and tilt my head up so I can once again look into your eyes. They are so soft, genuine. Your heart is fully opened for the first time. That's when I finally give in and completely open my heart for the first time.
I speak to you the words that I've kept locked inside my entire life. I speak to you the memories that play in my head whenever I close my eyes, I speak of the nightmares that interrupt my sleep and leave me terrified to close my eyes and lose consciousness and see the broken  images play out behind my eyes when I do. I speak to you of my desperation to have someone honestly, truly understand me. To look at me and see  past my many flaws. I'm desperate to understand why my life was laid out the way it was. Why I shed each and every tear.
As these words fell from my lips, I continued to look into your eyes and felt as if for the first time, someone actually understood exactly how I felt. I could see it, the same sorrow and confusion reflected in your eyes the I saw in mine every time I looked in the mirror. I remembered then everything you had endured yourself, and felt my tears flow faster. My eyes wander as I tried my hardest to avoid your eyes, they rest on the scar residing on your right cheek. I can't help but wonder if you received that scar in the car accident that Took. Your. Life. I'll be FOREVER GRATEFUL that God brought you back, so I could have you here in my life today. Though,  I know it wasn't without consequences. I see it in you every day, your mask sliding into place in hopes to hide the vulnerability you carry with you.
The way you're terrified to hurt the people who mean the most to you. You're hidden desire to be the right person, to be better, not only for yourself but for your loved ones as well. Ours is the tale of two broken angels, brought together but torn apart by the unethical happenings of this life. The story of two lost souls, anxiously awaiting their happily ever after. The only problem is…there are no happily ever after's in this life, at least Not. Just. Yet. And so I'll write it in a poem…

broken hearts and broken minds
the link of broken souls
I close my eyes to broken love
and eyes as sad as yours
The tear streaked sky of fallen rain
And dusty desert floor
The opposites of intricates
Now bear the broken stone.
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