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DubsRewatcher — ...But the Kitchen Sink (First Draft) by-nc-nd
Published: 2012-04-10 03:29:16 +0000 UTC; Views: 732; Favourites: 6; Downloads: 8
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Description ...But the Kitchen Sink

a fanfic by Dubs Rewatcher


    Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Pinkie, I'm telling you, as weird and crazy as you can be, it wouldn't work!"

    "Nuh-uh! It would!" Pinkie Pie insisted as they entered the bakery. "We could totally replace your entire house with cotton candy! I could make it float and everything! And you could live in it, and you could eat cotton candy anytime you wanted! And...and, I could live there too! And we could eat cotton candy all day long!"

    "...You do make a good point. How much would it cost?"

    Pinkie's face scrunched up. "Let's see...move that there, carry the one...oh, boy! Only about ten million bits! What a deal, right?"

    Rainbow Dash shook her head and laughed. "Now, where are those cupcakes you promised me?"

    "Oh, right in the kitchen!" Pinkie said. "I made them special, just for you! They're vanilla: your favorite!"

    Her mouth beginning to water, the cyan mare left her friend to gallop through Sugarcube Corner, headed straight for the kitchen. Rainbow busted through the double doors, ready to inhale her frosted treats—but what she saw when she entered the room made her heart stop dead in her chest.

    It—no, he—sat across the room from her, sitting right against the wall. The sun filtering in caught on his chrome coat, sending glimmers of light crashing through the room. Rainbow could have sworn she felt one cross her face. He was sleek and streamlined, just like the pegasus. A drip of water hung in his mouth, making Rainbow realize that she had been drooling. With a blush, she turned away.

    Pinkie Pie bounced in. "IT'S CUPCAKE TIME!" she yelped.

    But before she was able to make it to the treats, Rainbow Dash grabbed her and pulled her off to the side. "Pinkie," she whispered, "who is that?"

    "Who?"

    "Him!" Rainbow carefully gestured to the kitchen's only other occupant. "Who is he?"

    Pinkie frowned. "Do you mean the sink?"

    Rainbow blinked. "Huh?"

    "That's our sink! We just got it put in the other day! Huh, I didn't know it was a he! I better start calling him Mr. Sink, then! I wonder if he has a wife?"

    "Yeah...me too," Rainbow murmured. 'I can't believe I was falling for a stupid sink!' she thought. 'What am I, crazy?'

    Pinkie Pie grabbed the tray of colorful cupcakes. "Here we go! Fresh cupcakes for Dashie and me!"

    Rainbow grabbed a red one. "Sweet, I've been waiting forever for these!" She stuffed it in her mouth.

    At least, she would have, if the sink hadn't caught her eye again. Instead, she slowly and carefully bit off a chunk, making sure that no loose crumbs got stuck on her coat. She let out a small groan as she brought a napkin to her lips.

    The pink mare eyed her friend warily. It only took a few moments for her expression to change to one of pure sadness. "You...you hate them, don't you?"

    Rainbow barely noticed her friend. "Huh?"

    "You hate my cupcakes! If you liked them, you would be stuffing your face right now!"

    "Uh..."    Rainbow trailed off. She barely stopped her wings from popping out as a drop of water fell from her lover's mouth. "Oh, uh, yeah, whatever you say, Pinkie."

    Pinkie gaped for a moment. Suddenly, there came a loud POP, as her mane and tail deflated like a balloon. Tears filled her eyes. "B-But...I made them special for you..." Her now dim body began to tremble.

    At last, Rainbow noticed her distraught friend. "Hey, Pinkie, what's wrong? What happened?"

    "Y-You...don't ev-even care..." she muttered, tears flowing freely now. "I...I want to be alone..."

    "Huh? Pinks, what's-"

    "I SAID I WANT TO BE ALONE!" Pinkie Pie screamed, her body shaking uncontrollably. There was a tense silence. Rainbow offered the pink pony a friendly hoof, but Pinkie just recoiled. "I-I'm sorry," she quickly said, pushing past Rainbow.

    It was at that moment that Mrs. Cake walked in. "Pinkie, dear, what's wrong? I heard yell...oh, dear, what's happened?" She rushed over to the crying earth pony. "Why are you crying?"

    "R-Rainbow said..." But that was all she managed to choke out.

    Mrs. Cake looked at the prismatic pegasus. "Dearie, what happened? What in Celestia's good name did you tell her?"

    "I didn't do anything!" Rainbow insisted. "It was him! He was trying to seduce me!"

    "Him?" Mrs. Cake asked, looking where Rainbow was pointing. "You mean the bird?"

    Rainbow Dash gazed at the sink, and quickly realized that a bird had landed on the windowsill above it. "No, no, I mean the-"

    'Wait. What am I talking about?'

    "The...what, dear?"

    "The, uhm...oh, nopony! I'm sorry, I don't know what happened!"

    Mrs. Cake looked at the crying pony to her side, then back to Rainbow Dash. "Dear," she said,."I'm think.it would be best if you got going."

    Rainbow tried to gulp, but found that the newly-formed lump in her throat made that impossible. She just managed a shaky nod before backing up and flying out of the room as fast as she could.

----------


    "Man, that was freaky!" Rainbow said to herself as she flew home. "First I start falling for a sink, then Pinkie just breaks down? It's like Discord all over again!"

    Only a few minutes had passed before she landed on her front "lawn," just outside of her Rainbow Pool. "I mean, really, me? In love? Even if it wasn't a stupid sink, that's just wrong."

The sun was setting in the west, creating a beautiful view at her vantage point. But Rainbow found herself unable to appreciate it as a large yawn escaped her lips. It was the price to pay for spending a day with Pinkie Pie.

    With a flap of her wings, Rainbow brought herself up to her bedroom. Her eyes felt like weights as she hovered over to her bed, laid down, and got some well deserved rest.

----------


    It was dark. That was the first thing she noticed. It took a few moments for her eyes to adjust, but once they did, she realized what the wet feeling around her legs was. She was in some sort of maze. The ground was flooded with deep blue water. She began to walk forward, ignoring the pain of the cold water against her skin.

    She had no idea where to go. Every turn seemed to lead to another turn, or a dead end. At points, she could have sworn she heard somepony—or, something—moving with her. After a few minutes of useless wading, she began to panic. Where was she?! Why was this happening?!

    Barely containing the urge to scream, she rounded another corner. That was when she saw him.

    Sitting in the middle of the water was Sink. He glanced at her lovingly. She knew that he was the key. He would make everything go away. He would make everything perfect. She cantered towards him, her heart beating faster with every step. He radiated sunlight, his warmth replacing the water's chill.

    She grabbed his basin and pulled him closer. "Oh, Sink..."

    His drain curled into a smile. "Oh, Rainbow Dash..."

----------


    Rainbow Dash's eyes shot open. She lay in silence for a moment. A shudder ran up her body, making her curl inwards to get warm.

    ...No. She wasn't trying to get warm. She was trying to hold onto the warmth that was already there.

    The mare sat up in her bed and surveyed the room. Her turtle, Tank, lay sleeping across the room, in a specially enchanted bed. Sink was nowhere to be found. It was morning again; normally she would wake up at noon, but today was special. Her mind swam with romance.

    She needed to get down to Sugarcube Corner. It was her destiny.

----------


    "Thank you, come again!"

    Derpy Hooves gave Mr. Cake a small smile and nod as she picked up her bag of muffins. "Thanks, muffin pony!" She trotted away.

    "Next?" Mr. Cake called. Nopony else came forward, so he turned around and grabbed a washcloth. When he turned back, he was greeted by the frantic face of Rainbow Dash, staring him down. She held an almost dreamy gaze, like she wasn't looking at him, but past him.

    He jumped. "Oh, uh, hello, Rainbow."

    "Hey."

    There was silence.

    "...Do you need anything?"

    "Oh, uhm..." She scanned the menu, but kept taking glances at the kitchen. There was another long silence, as ponies began to line up behind her.

    The yellow stallion sighed. "Listen, Rainbow, I don't mean to impose on the situation or anything, but...I think you might need to apologize to Pinkie."

    "Huh? For what?"

    "Well, she was crying last night. That doesn't happen much. According to her, you told her that you hated the cupcakes she made for you."

    Rainbow gaped.

    "She doesn't tend to take these things lightly. Trust me, it's happened before. If you could just apologize, then we cou-"

    "What?! No! I didn't do anything wrong!" Rainbow said. "I never said anything like that to her! She just broke down randomly!"

    "Hey!" a mare behind her yelled. "You're holding up the line! I'm on my lunch break!"

    "Listen, Rainbow...if you're not going to order anything, and you're not going to apologize, I think you should leave."

    "Wait!" Rainbow yelped, glancing over the stallion's shoulder. "I'll go, but first, I need to get into the kitchen."

    Mr Cake blinked. "What?"

    "There's, uh...something I need to do- I mean, um, see, in the kitchen. So, if you'll just let me through, I'll be out of your mane." She flew up and over the counter, and began cruising toward the double doors.

    "Wait a second!" Mr. Cake grabbed her tail in his teeth and pulled her to the ground. "Rainbow Dash, I'm sorry, but even if Pinkie wasn't mad at you, we don't let non-employees into the kitchen! It's store policy!"

    "But, but, Pinkie Pie lets me in all the time!"

    Mr. Cake nickered. "Yes, well, she isn't supposed to. I'll have to talk to her about that." He led her back around the counter. "Have a nice day, Rainbow. I hope you'll come around soon; we're getting flooded with orders now that our best employee is out-of-commission."

    Rainbow shot him a glare. Her expression softened, however, as her gaze drifted to the double doors behind him. A gasp caught in her throat as she realized: Sink was staring right at her.

    'I'll be back,' she mouthed.

    She trotted out calmly. As soon as she was outside, she sprinted upwards to a cloud that sat just above the bakery. "Drat," she muttered. "I can't get in by myself."

    'Unless you apologize to Pinkie!' her mind reminded her.

    "Oh, shut up, me! So, they won't let me in." She held a hoof to her chin in thought.

"Let's see...what would Daring Do do? Uhm..." That was when it hit her.  "In book twelve, when they wouldn't let her into the Museum of Equestrian History because they thought she was the one trying to capture all their precious jewels! She used a disguise! That's it! I need a disguise!

"But what...?"

----------

"Uh, who did you say you were again?"

Rainbow Dash subtly adjusted her moustache. "I'm the Sink Inspector!" she exclaimed in a strong baritone. "I'm here to inspect your sink!"

Mrs. Cake eyed the Inspector warily.  She could have sworn that she had seen this pegasus before! But she knew for a fact that she had never met a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane; a black, scruffy moustache; a brown fedora; and a shining golden badge that read "The Inspector."

"Oh, well, why do you need to inspect our sink, dearie?"

The Inspector smiled. "It's my job! I'm under orders from Mayor Mare—no, Princess Celestia! I'm under orders from Princess Celestia to inspect every sink in Ponyville and give them a grade."

"I...see. Well, if you would just follow me, I'll show you to our kitchen," said Mrs. Cake. Turning around, she didn't notice the Inspector's face light up. The red-maned mare led her visitor out of the restaurant and into the kitchen. "Here we are! I'll be in the foyer. Just give me a holler if you need anything!"

The inspector gave a reassuring smile. Once alone, she turned to the sink with a seductive grin. She found herself involuntarily wiggling her hips as she cantered up to her chrome friend.

"Hey," she said. "I've been seeing you around here for a while. What's your name?"

A droplet of water fell from the faucet.

"Sink? Yeah, that's what I thought. I know this is kinda sudden and all, but...are you single?"

Sink stayed silent.

Rainbow cheered inwardly. "Oh. That's cool. I, uh...I noticed you looking at me before. Was there something you wanted to say?"

A small gurgle came from Sink's drain.

A fire ignited behind Rainbow's cheeks. "O-Oh! Wow! That's, uh...well." She moved a bit closer. "You know," she murmured, "I've never really been in love before. I always thought it was a waste of time...oh my gosh, I'm sorry!" Rainbow moved away and covered her face with her hooves. "We just met, and I'm already hitting you with all this heavy stuff! I don't know, it's like...you're...making me crazy..."

She put her hooves on the part of Sink that was connected to the counter. "But we're all alone now. Nopony can judge us..." She puckered her lips and moved toward his faucet.

"PHBBBBBBBT!"

Rainbow, her heart threatening to break her ribs, spun around. Sitting on the ground a few feet away were Pound and Pumpkin Cake. The former was giggling happily, while the latter was drooling on her own hooves.

"H-How much did you hear?!" Rainbow demanded. "I swear, it's not what it looks like!" She mouthed a quick 'I'm sorry' to her lover.

"Baba!" Pound Cake squealed, hitting the floor. "Daaaaah!"

Rainbow held a hooftip in front of her still-moustache-clad mouth.  "Shhhhhhh! Can't you see I'm trying to be sneaky?!"

The foals sat, confused as to why the strange hairy pony with a shiny thing on her chest was shushing them. Their brains were unable to find a suitable answer, so they retreated and launched their foolproof failsafe system.

They began to cry.

Rainbow Dash jumped. "Oh, no, no, stop crying! Uh, look!" She made a funny face. Instead of calming the babies, however, they just cried harder. "Oh, horsefeathers!"

"Pound Cake? Pumpkin Cake? What's going on in there?"

"Oh no! Nothing is wrong!" Rainbow cried in her normal voice. "Oh, uh, I mean, nothing is wrong!" Maybe she hadn't caught the slip-up...?

"I'm coming in there!"

Rainbow whipped her head around desperately, looking for an out. The babies were crying, Mrs. Cake's hoofsteps were getting louder, Sink was tugging at her heartstrings with his damned relected sunlight...

Wait. That was it! The sunlight was coming through the open window! With speed rivaling that of Spitfire herself, Rainbow shot out of the kitchen, through the window, through the bark of the tree right outside and straight into the sky. She gave a small cheer as she slowed down. Sure, she probably had a concussion, but anything was worth her relationship with Sink.

Back in the bakery, Mrs. Cake rushed into the kitchen, only to find her two children, alone and sobbing. "Oh, my babies!" she cried, galloping over. "What happened?! Did that pony hurt you?" The babies seemed to calm down a bit at the sight of their mother, but they still wailed loudly. Mrs. Cake grabbed them and held them over her shoulder. "Shush...momma's here..."

She walked over to the sink. Hanging from the windowsill was the Inspector's moustache. She regarded it with disgust. "That's the last time I trust a sink inspector!"

----------

Rainbow Dash swallowed hard. 'You can do this,' she thought. 'You've faced down dragons before, no sweat! This has nothing on that.' She gave the blue door in front of her a light rap. A few moments passed before the door opened with a magical flourish.

"Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chic, unique and magnifique! How may I- Oh, Rainbow Dash! How delightful!"

"Yeah. Hi, Rarity." She cantered into the boutique. "Listen, I kinda...need help."

Rarity beamed. "Oh, it's about time you started coming to me for advice! There's so much I need to teach you!" She grabbed the pegasus in her magic. "Come! We'll start with table manners! I've come to notice that yours are the least bit...lackluster."

"Wait, Rarity, stop! I just have a question!"

The unicorn froze in her tracks and frowned. "Oh. Well, in that case..." She let go of her friend and pulled up two velvet cushions. The two sat down. "Ask away."

Rainbow shifted her hooves. "Okay. But, before I say anything, you have to promise not to laugh. I'm serious."

"Laugh? Moi? Why, I would never do something as base as that! You have my utmost respect, Rainbow."

"Good." She smiled uneasily. "Okay. My question is...what do you do if somepony, you know, likes you?"

Rarity gaped. "Likes you?"

"Yeah. And..." she blushed, "what if you like them back?"

Rarity tried to contain her giggles.

"Hey! You said you weren't going to laugh!"

"I'm sorry, Rainbow, really! But you have to admit, this is rather...oh, how to put it...unexpected. I never pegged you as one to proclaim your love in such a fashion."

Rainbow's eyes widened. "I-I'm not doing that! What am I, a chump?"

Rarity smirked. "My dear, if that makes you a 'chump', then you are the chumpiest mare in all of Equestria. No offense, of course."

"But, I'm just- Oh, can you answer my question or not?!" 'I knew this was going to happen.'

"Of course I can, Rainbow. You came to the right unicorn." She stood up and walked over to a long rack of dresses. "I have read enough ro- I mean, I have had enough experience to know that the only thing that attracts stallions is style. ...It is a stallion, right?"

Rainbow blinked. "Uh, sure."

"Good! I mean, not that I would have a problem if it were a mare. But this just makes it much easier." She pulled out a frilly pink and red gown. "Here we are! Oh, it matches your eyes so well!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! I am not wearing that thing! I do not do dresses!"

"Oh, come now, Rainbow Dash! I assure you, no stallion will be able to resist this! You will have ponies lining up to father your children!"

Rainbow blushed. She had never thought about it that way. What would a pony/sink hybrid even look like? She could see it now: a little filly or colt, with her rainbow mane, their father's silver coat...maybe a faucet for a tail?

"Rarity...are you sure there's no other way? Aren't you supposed to, like, 'be yourself,' or whatever?"

Rarity laughed and shook her head in pity. "Oh, what an amateur mistake. Everypony knows that that never works!"

Rainbow Dash sighed bitterly and rubbed the back of her head with a hoof. "Fine. How much?"

"Free of charge!"

"Whoa, really?"

Rarity put a hoof on her friend's shoulder. "Rainbow Dash, you are my friend. I care about you. And may Celestia banish me if I don't do everything in my power to make you happy." She floated the now packaged dress to her friend. "Good luck. I expect details!"

Rainbow laid the dress over her wing. "Wow. Thanks, Rarity! You know, I never thought I'd say this, but this might actually be pretty cool!" She laughed a bit. All at once, her expression shifted to one of pure dread. "Oh Celestia Rarity what is happening to me."

"It's love, dear. True love."

----------

The moon served as the only source of light as Rainbow Dash trotted silently through Ponyville. Her new dress obstructed her wings, so flying was out of the question. It felt a bit weird, not being able to fly, but it was worth it if that was what would win over Sink.

Sugarcube Corner was radio silent. Not even a candle could be seen through the windows, giving the entire building a somewhat eerie quality. Rainbow walked around to the back. The tree from before had a large, pony-shaped hole in it. Behind it, was the window above the sink.

Rainbow Dash stood on her hind legs to reach it. "Shoot!" she whispered. "It's locked!" She peered downwards, only to feel her heart start racing. Sink's faucet was dripping rapidly, making an audible splat against the basin. As Rainbow felt the familiar warmth ignite in her body, she breathed hard onto the window, and traced a heart into the fog.

She jumped down to the back door, a few feet away. Pulling hard on the door, she found that it too was locked. How was she supposed to get in now? She couldn't wait another day! Besides, they wouldn't even let her in!

There was a sharp shuffling from above. "H-Hello?" Rainbow ducked into a nearby bush, silently cursing herself as a loud riiiip cut through the night. "Is somepony there?! I have an alligator, and I'm not afraid to use him!"

Rainbow peeked her head up. "Pinkie Pie? Is that you?"

Pinkie leaned out her window and regarded the scene. Her hair had poofed up a bit since the day before, and a bit of her color had returned, but her face still held a jarring frown. "D-Dashie?"

"Yeah, it's me!" She got out of the bush and grimaced. The bush had torn a long rip in the side of her dress, revealing her right wing. "Aw man, Rarity's gonna freak!"

"Dashie, are you wearing a dress?!" Pinkie yelped. She immediately broke out into a fit of giggles. "Dashie is wearing a dress! Hee hee!"

Rainbow Dash frowned. "Hey, quiet down! Do you want to wake up the whole town?!"

Pinkie's smile immediately faded. She hung her head. "I'm sorry..."

The cyan pegasus shifted her hooves around in the dirt. "Hey, Pinkie, can you come down here? I think we need to talk."

"O-Okay," she said. She disappeared inside the house. Rainbow waited in the backyard for minute before a sharp clack came from the door, and it swung open. Pinkie stood in the doorway. "Hi, Dashie."

Rainbow smiled. "Hey, Pinkie. Can I come in?"

"...I guess."

"Awesome!" She cantered in, wary of her friend's sulking. The sink immediately caught her eye, but she ignored it, and turned back to her friend. Some things were more important than love. "Pinkie, what's up with you? Why are you so sad?"

Pinkie sniffled. "Because you told me you hated the cupcakes I made for you. It really hurt my feelings."

"Really, Pinkie, I didn't mean to say that! I loved them!"

"You're just saying that."

"No, really! Those cupcakes kicked total flank. Honestly, I wish I could have more! I just got distracted, and I wasn't listening to what you were saying. So...I guess this is really my fault." She put a hoof on Pinkie's shoulder. "I'm sorry, okay?"

Pinkie regarded the hoof strangely for a moment. There was a tense silence. However, it was broken only seconds later as Pinkie's mane and tail blew up into their normal poofy state. The entire room seemed to glow as her body regained its normal, dulcet sheen.  A giant grin planted itself on her face.

"Oh, Dashie, I could never stay mad at you!" She pulled her friend into a tight hug. "I love you! Let's never be sad again!"

Rainbow Dash gasped for air. "Yeah, yeah, I love you too, now can you please let go of me? I think I'm dying..."

"Oops. Sorry," she chirped. "Actually, it wasn't your fault in the first place!"

"It wasn't?"

"Nope! It was his!" She pointed at Sink. "It was Mr. Sink!"

Rainbow gaped before breaking into a large laugh. "What do you mean, 'him'? He's just a sink! Ha ha! Good one!"

Pinkie shook her head. "Oh, Dashie, you don't have to pretend! I know all about you and Mr. Sink!"

"...You do?"

"Yep! I heard all about it from Miss Dishwasher, his ex-wife! Besides, he talks about you all the time!"

Rainbow's cheeks filled with blood as she took a nervous glance at her lover. "What does he say?"

Pinkie's face lit up. "Oh, lots of things! Sweet things! Funny things! Inappropriate things! Things that should never be repeated, especially not in front of fillies and colts!" She poked Rainbow in the side with a shoulder and gave her a mischievous glance. "He's got the hots for you!"

"H-He does?"

"Yep!"

Rainbow beamed. "Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! This is awesome! How do I look? What do I say?!"

"I'd lose the dress. Just be yourself, silly!"

"Wait. Rarity said that doesn't work! Isn't she, like, the expert?"

Pinkie shook her head. "Trust me, Dashie. I've read enough fanfiction to know that you can be with anypony in the whole entire world! Even me!"

"Pinkie Pie, you can be so random sometimes!" Rainbow said. She gazed lovingly at Sink. But her gaze quickly turned wistful. "It's too bad he's all cooped up here in Sugarcube Corner. I really wish we could, like, go on a date or something!"

"Hmm...that can be arranged..."

----------

Rainbow sat outside Sugarcube Corner, her ruined dress in a bunch next to her. Pinkie had told her to wait outside a few minutes ago, and she still hadn't returned. The was as quiet as ever. Was this a prank or something? The pegasus could always appreciate a good prank, but this just wasn't funny.

Just as Rainbow was getting ready to take her chances and bust back in, Pinkie bounded around the corner. "Dashie, I have a surprise for you!"

"Really? What is it? Where's Sink?"

Pinkie ducked back around into the backyard. She returned just a few seconds later, with a new object in tow.

"SINK!" Rainbow yelped, speeding up to her lover. He was completely free of the counter that had been around him. A thick pipe hung from his basin. And the chrome plating that Rainbow loved so dearly seemed to shine ever brighter now that he had been liberated from his makeshift prison. Rainbow grabbed him and hugged him tight, barely resisting the urge to slobber him with kisses. "Pinkie, how did you-"

Pinkie lifted one hoof to her friend's mouth. "You kids go have fun. I'll see you tomorrow, right? ...I mean, if you're not too worn out."

Rainbow's face boiled. "Pinkie Pie! Not in front of Sink!"

"Oops! Sorry, Mr. Sink! I'll leave you two alone." She turned away. But before Rainbow could say another word, she spun back around and sang into her friend's ear: "I call godmother!" She bounded away.

Rainbow smiled before looking at her new boyfriend seductively. "Let's go back to my place..."

She could have sworn she saw him smile back.

----------

"I'm afraid you have tetanus."

Rainbow Dash gaped. "I'm...I'm going to d-die?"

Doctor Stable smiled and shook his head. "Oh, no, no, it's not that ser-"

"But what about the baby?!" Rainbow Dash screamed, pointing at her stomach. "Will it be safe?"

The unicorn blinked. "...Rainbow Dash, you're pregnant? When? Who? Just who is the father?"

As if she had expected it, Rainbow pulled out a small card and showed it to her doctor. "Him!"

He regarded the card. It was a picture of a sink. "I, um...Rainbow Dash, you are aware that that is a kitchen sink, right?"

"Yeah!" Rainbow yelped, beginning to cry. "And the jerk won't even pay child support!"
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Comments: 2

DarthWill3 [2012-04-10 21:11:32 +0000 UTC]

Hoo boy...

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

TrueDesknight [2012-04-10 14:17:03 +0000 UTC]

This was amazing.
And tell Pinkie Pie to stop breaking the 4th wall dammit! We'll kill her off if she becomes too aware!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0