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Dwarf4r — Green scorpion fly
Published: 2014-01-25 21:12:35 +0000 UTC; Views: 852; Favourites: 18; Downloads: 6
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Description
A flying emerald.Related content
Comments: 188
I want the poem out there, but cant post it on my page, cause i have a watcher who....well would be very offended..cause he knows things. The poem 100% mine. Tell me what you think. Plz express opinion 100%
Another story
Of broken love
The average heartbreak
A broken rhyme
A life corrupted
A tune so bitter
Turn away
For im a sinner
I met a boy
More like a man
He taught me joy
And held my hand
He cured my pain
He kept me sane
With a fine thread
Covered my scars
In hopes they would heal so far
He told me I was cute
I was slightly prude
I held back
For as a fact
He was just like you
I kept chains on my heart
He said it was just an art
So I told him I would do anything
But I must be set apart
I now quietly morn
For I am slightly torn
You would let this get in the way
I could have sworn
What did you say?
For a second there
You had me
I am never afraid
I am merely outraged
But you would only correct me
It’s not me it’s you
Words written on your tongue
For every time you open your mouth
It is forced out from your lungs
When were you ever sorry?
It was always me
You were the good one
Aint that so?
We would only agree
For it brings me sanity
To think you cared for me
Stay away,
For its not you
It’s only me
Hate to ruin your game
Just leave me be
To embrace my agony
I hope you hold the key to glory
I only want the best for you
Ill try to forgive you
And keep this memory blurry.
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Well to tell you the truth I do not know much about poems (the only one I know is roses are red.....or is this a rhyme ?) but I will try.
And believe me when I give my opinion it will always be 100%,no matter how this might hurt someone.
First off all I like the way you build it :short ,long, short, long verses.
It is very understandable written .
Now a bit personal: I see a lot of pain, hurt feelings, quilt , frustration,hidden anger and broken trust.
Don't blame it all on yourself, it wont be nice what I going to say but when love falls apart there will always be two to blame.
But back to the poem :For me I think it is well done and I would encourage you to go on with these poems.
Just a little advice keep them less personal so you can post them.
If this opens some questions feel free to ask, if you hate me for the comments feel free to do so.
But most of all ,just let us stay friends.XD
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Oh yeah! I love your opinion, and I wanted the poem to basically give off certain emotions, cause its nice to know someone else understands what im writing. Idk..I dont mind, cause these feelings must be very common, but anyhow, I will follow your advice.
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You are right about the feelings they are indeed very common.
I think this is the main reason why songs about feelings have a better score
Because everybody knows them in on way or another.
But I think your poem gives off a bit more then certain emotions because even for me " not familiar with poems" it was very understandable.
But live goes on.....so how about a cup of coffee ????
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I LOVE COFFEEE! yerm... *slurp*
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Me too,actually I am a little addicted to it.
A day without it gives me a headache.XD
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my sister is the same. My mom thinks its too expensive to allow me to get addicted also.
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I think your mother is right(might be for the first time, who knows),I don't know the price of coffee at your place but over here it is pretty expensive. XD
But don't think tea is any better It almost has the same amount of caffeine in it, and this is something most people don't know .
But one cup a day wont hurt you ,I think.XD
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oh heck yeah. I tots agree with her 2. I am not saying shes wrong. I dont normally drink tea unless i cant sleep..and even then.
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Hahaha,You cant sleep just because you are drinking tea it contains caffeine and caffeine is a kick-starter.
So next time you cant sleep try a cup of warm milk or a glass of water.
And I don't need to say this but love your parents well, you may hate them sometimes(or not)but believe me you will miss them when they are cone.XD
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I only drink c affine free tea. I prefer it. I love my parents. They are good people. I am not that close to my dad, but i still love him.
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That is good and it is not so strange you always have a favourite parent.
For me it is my mom, not that my dad was a bad person certainly not, he was always there when I needed him so...
But I always had and still have more contact with my mother.
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Same here. My dad s always involved, but sometimes he tries to understand, and he thinks he understands things that he has no idea. I don't mean to sound ignorant. yeah. But I love him lots. Mothers just understand.
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I think this has something to do with being a mom or a dad.
Moms are more understanding, Dads always have more difficulty with feelings.XD
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Hahaha,see you tomorrow , have to start early (04.00) so it is of to bed for me.
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Yes I know still need those glasses, ticked the wrong one.XD
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haha...what an awesome conversation...
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Ah well sometimes I am not good with words.XD
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Hahaha ,may I then recommend the books of Gerald Durrell you know the one from Jersey zoo.
I think they where great.XD
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