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“No…now look, I can nuke each and every one of you in just one shot, but that… that would not be fair. It wouldn’t be fair to you or to me. So here’s what I’ll do. I’m going to kick all your asses… with my thumbs. So that’s two thumbs, up each of your asses, and I’m going to keep putting them up there until I find something to laugh about… even if that means I have to bum rush each and every one of you, blood sucking maggots, to find the funny. So, who wants the first thumb enema?”
Now I’ll admit that that was not truly my intention… the thumb enema part. I knew that their hearts where their weakness. I just said it like that to make it more… intimidating. Though I will admit that I fully indented to kill them all using only my thumbs and that I was doing it mostly for some laughs, which I actually had quite a few of. It all kind of felt like going through an aisle at the grocery store and sticking your thumb in all the fruits that were on display. Some were hard like apples and oranges, while others popped like peaches and plums. However when I took the first vampire, he had an unexpected death. I figured that like every other beast I had killed, when a Vampire died it would simply fall over dead, but that was not true. The Vampire raised its head, screamed out in horror, and then without provocation, burst into flames, and hit the floor as a pile of ash. It was, without a doubt, the funniest thing I had seen in years. The instant I managed to gather myself from the first bought of laughter, I continued on to the next vampire. I quickly learned that Slaughter and laughter are not only close in spelling but concept too.