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Ebonycloud-Graphics — TNC Chapter 4 Part 1 by-nc-nd

Published: 2011-07-08 07:30:30 +0000 UTC; Views: 15864; Favourites: 212; Downloads: 29
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Description Chapter 4 is in literary format. This graphic novel starts up again in chapter 5. Just get through this part if you want to keep reading.
~Edit2
To appease everyone I changed to name of the city to London. However this makes the picture above completely inaccurate, even more so than before. Its whatever though. Enjoy!
~Edit
I swear, I don't know how many times I have to explain it. YES! I am aware that warriors takes place in England. This, my friends, takes place in California, USA. No, I'm not explaining how they got there. Its just a dumb fan fiction, so for heavens sake, quit telling me something I already know!



Here is the first part of Chapter 4. I haven't decided how many parts I want in each chapter so hand on for a while. There is a guest apperance in this chapter by a character that was a winner in a contest a long time ago. Original character belongs to

After the restless night of dreams Phoenixstep had, he was rudely awaken by the ever-playful Ghostclaw. The young tom had tried to leap on him and startle him awake, but his good morning shout had woken the medicine cat before he had succeeded. Just in time Phoenixstep rolled out of the way as Ghostclaw smashed in to the ground. With shaky breath Phoenixstep stared at his attacker and realized it was only the youngest member of the group.

“G-ghostclaw? What’re you doing?” The ginger tom was still on edge as the silver former Windclan tom spat out the dirt that had forced its way in to his mouth with the failed attempt at a landing.

With a dazed look Ghostclaw managed to cast his glance at Phoenixstep, “Oh there you are.” Phoenixstep frowned at the tom, giving him a short snort in reply. Ghostclaw ignored him and explained, “The others went to go hunt and left me in charge to wake you up. So… Good morning!”

Phoenixstep sighed heavily and muttered, “Crazy must run in the family.” Ghostclaw’s ears perked at this but he said nothing. Just behind them the sound of soft paw steps caught their attention. Swanfeather and Wolfpatch padded side by side until they met up with the rest of the group.

Phoenixstep’s eyes locked on to Swanfeather as she dropped a small mouse in front of him. She said nothing as she moved away and didn’t even look at him. Wolfpatch tossed the tiny rabbit he was carrying toward Ghostclaw.

The large blue-gray tom grinned warmly, “Might remind you of home.”

Ghostclaw looked at it before glancing gratefully at their assumed leader. Tigerlily had yet to return by the time the rest of them had finished their meals. Phoenixstep glanced around them with a quizzical look.

Wolfpatch caught the glance and explained, “She’s out scouting ahead. She actually volunteered for it.” Phoenixstep said nothing in replying, causing Wolfpatch to quirk his head. “What’s the matter Phoenixstep? Woke up on the wrong side of the moss?” the large tom joked.

A sneer appeared on the medicine cat’s face as he passed a stabbing look toward Ghostclaw, “You could say that.”

All this while Swanfeather had remained quiet, the left side of her face wrapped in cobwebs. Phoenixstep knew he must speak with her, but as time passed from when he had woken to now, his dreams because just that, dreams. They began to fade, as all dreams must. Standing, the ginger tom padded over to the gold and white she cat.

He took a breath to try and ask about what he been told in his dream, but the more he thought about it the less he could remember. Letting his breath out he muttered lamely, “Time to change your bandages.” Swanfeather had been subdued from yesterday’s outbursts and had yet to show any her normal attitude. Phoenixstep didn’t know whether to feel grateful or worried. As he went to work changing the cobwebs, Tigerlily appeared from a back alley that led in to the two-leg territory. Swanfeather stiffened beside Phoenixstep causing the tom to cast a glance in the tabby she-cat’s direction.

The other youngest cat in their group was Tigerlily. She had shown herself to be extremely loyal to family, and to have quite the temper when any of them were slandered. She didn’t stop beside him or Swanfeather however, but instead proceeded to talk to Wolfpatch directly.

“Well,” she started when she was in front of the large tom, “The way in there is clear and has little to no two-leg activity. However, there is a Thunderpath beyond that alley. We need to be careful of it.” It was odd seeing the small she-cat stand in front of Wolfpatch. Being so young caused her to be small, but she seemed to be oddly small in stature anyway. It was more than likely the Shadowclan blood in her caused her to be short and stocky in comparison to her tall and lanky brother.

Wolfpatch sat in thought for a moment, his gold eyes focused on the grass before him. “The only other way around this place, is to go around the perimeter… But that will take us unnecessary time. If we cut straight through we can make it to the other side in perhaps two or three days instead of longer.”

Phoenixstep narrowed his eyes, “Do we really have to go that way? Can’t we just head in a different direction? Instead of going south, why don’t we go east and avoid the two-leg place altogether?”

Wolfpatch sat up straight and narrowed his eyes at the medicine cat, “Because I feel that this is the way we have to go.”

Phoenixstep growled lowly, “Who made you the leader? In fact, other than this gut feeling of yours, we have no other reason to listen to your advice. Starclan hasn’t been talking to you have they?”

Wolfpatch bristled him, “No, but have they been talking to you medicine cat?!”

Phoenixstep was about to brag that he had just had a vision from Starclan, but something kept him from speaking. A horrible feeling entered his stomach at the thought of telling Wolfpatch that he was still connected to the ancestors. He still didn’t remember what they had told him but he knew Wolfpatch couldn’t be trusted. Instead of replying, he merely lashed his tail side to side and looked away.

“I didn’t think so,” Wolfpatch snorted.

“Would you two knock it off,” the voice beside him nearly made Phoenixstep jump. Swanfeather had yet to talk all morning but now she spoke the same sass in her voice that she always had. “You two need to stop bickering like kits. We get it boys. There is no reason to need to fight over which one of you is king of the hill.” Phoenixstep tossed a glance at Wolfpatch. The other tom looked a little guilty for having entered the petty fight.

Now that everyone had calmed down they all began to move out and head for the alley that Tigerlily had come from. Wolfpatch took the lead, followed behind by the siblings, then Swanfeather and finally Phoenixstep in the rear. As they entered the two-leg place, the acidic smell of the two-leg monsters washed over them. The grays and browns of the city were harsh to look at compared to the easy colors of the forest.
They left the alley behind them, creeping close to the walls of the large two-leg structures. When they could, they took refuge under bushes and tall grasses. They had yet to cross the first Thunderpath that Tigerlily had scouted. Instead they had traveled parallel to it.

Phoenixstep muttered to himself, “So much for cutting straight through and taking less time.” Swanfeather cast a glance behind her toward him, the edge of her mouth almost quirked in to a smile before she turned forward again. Wolfpatch lifted his tail in signal to stop. When they had, the blue-gray tom moved away from the bushes they had stopped at and toward the edge of the Thunderpath. No mosters passed in front of him. The rest of the group looked on in apprehension. Wolfpatch looked back and motioned with his tail for the rest to come over as well.

When they were altogether again, Wolfpatch meowed, “Okay, when I say go, we run as fast as we can to the other side.” The others nodded their heads, but Phoenixstep stayed still. The black surface of the pathway radiated horribly hot air. The smell burned his sensitive nose and his eyes watered from it. “Go!” Wolfpatch shouted and each of them bolted across. The harsh surface burned Phoenixstep’s paws but he and the rest made it across with no problems. “See that? Easy,” Wolfpatch grinned in satisfaction.

“What were you guys doin’?” a strange voice sounded in front of them, causing each of the group to bristle in fright. The voice belonged to a thin brown tom with a dark brown stripe going from his neck to his tail tip. His paws were the same color as the stripe, as well as the tips of his ears. His muzzle, throat and tail tip were all the same color of creamy brown and his easy going eyes were of a deep green.

Wolfpatch snarled at the other tom, “What do you care?”

“Hey now,” the brown stranger chuckled, “I didn’t start talking to you because I wanted to pick a fight. Relax fella.” He grinned an easy smile at the remaining clan cats, “Just found it a bit silly for you guys to be scrambling across that ol’ road that no one uses anymore.” The group looked at each other, not quite understanding the stranger. “Look,” he started again, “this part of town is run down and abandoned. It’s good for hunting mice and stuff but you all need to relax. No cars run through this part of the city anymore.”

The group still looked at him in confusion. Ghostclaw piped up quickly, “What are cars?”

The brown stranger stared at the silver cat, “W-what are cars? There only just the things you were trying to avoid getting squashed by.” He looked at each of them as if they were stupid.

“You mean monsters,” Ghostclaw grinned, as the dots connected in his head.

“They aren’t monsters you idiots,” the city cat laughed aloud to himself. Ghostclaw’s cheeks flushed in embarrassment. Phoenixstep didn’t know what an “idiot” was but it was obviously not a good thing. Perhaps it was slang from the two-leg place. “Look, if you guys need help getting through London I can show you the way,” the tom grinned his easy smile again.

This time Phoenixstep meowed, “Longdo-… What did you say?”

“No, it’s London. You know, the city? The place you guys are in right now?” He waited for the recognition on the group’s faces but received none. He sighed harshly, “Do you guys want to get across this place in one piece or not?”

Wolfpatch stepped out and said, “You guarantee that you can see us across without any injury?”

The brown tom grinned, “Cross my heart and hope to die.” Wolfpatch knitted his brows but nodded. “The name is Ryan, pleasure to meet you all.”

Next Part - [link]

Tell me what you guys think of this format ;D

(P.S. I don't really care what you think of it since I am going to continue doing it this way X3)
Related content
Comments: 148

X-WindDance-X In reply to ??? [2011-07-08 16:55:25 +0000 UTC]

I actually like it quite a bit. C: Just like reading the actual Warriors series but we also get a nice picture. XD

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Drawer123456 In reply to ??? [2011-07-08 16:51:57 +0000 UTC]

-jumps up and down in a crazy manner- I LOVE IT :3

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Cyntistic In reply to ??? [2011-07-08 16:27:16 +0000 UTC]

I it! X3

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Fernsway In reply to ??? [2011-07-08 16:11:00 +0000 UTC]

Awesome! the story format is nice.

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Mystifyze [2011-07-08 15:40:29 +0000 UTC]

wasn't ryan/crowstripe the character i entered in that contest a long time ago...? happy to see him making his appearance. ouo

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Ebonycloud-Graphics In reply to Mystifyze [2011-07-08 16:39:34 +0000 UTC]

Indeed he is bud!! XD I'm glad to finally put him in there ;D

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underlander2 In reply to ??? [2011-07-08 15:33:32 +0000 UTC]

I love the new format! (And Ryan, my friend's brothers name is Ryan..... XD)

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neutralchao59 In reply to ??? [2011-07-08 14:54:11 +0000 UTC]

I like it this way. It is more easy to follow and we can read it faster. This story would of been many pages of the comic that we would have to wait for.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Ebonycloud-Graphics In reply to neutralchao59 [2011-07-08 16:40:32 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, this would have taken around another 30 comic pages of panels to create and get across the information. I like this way better since it just flows together a lot smoother ;D

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neutralchao59 In reply to Ebonycloud-Graphics [2011-07-08 18:04:12 +0000 UTC]

Yeah and that would be a long wait. I say continue it like this.

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Zilioaun In reply to ??? [2011-07-08 14:42:21 +0000 UTC]

Tehe~ Out there in the warriors world, the gang are probably the smartest, fastest, and strongest. But when they come to the two-legs world, they are just to awkward. XD

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Ebonycloud-Graphics In reply to Zilioaun [2011-07-08 16:42:52 +0000 UTC]

Indeed they are XD

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Zilioaun In reply to Ebonycloud-Graphics [2011-07-08 16:44:28 +0000 UTC]

^^"

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Mystical-Moon-Spirit In reply to ??? [2011-07-08 14:27:51 +0000 UTC]

This is really good =3

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DawnForestWolf In reply to ??? [2011-07-08 14:08:42 +0000 UTC]

Awesome! I think this way is better then the comic, it gives much more detail about whats going on

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bernadonner [2011-07-08 13:25:25 +0000 UTC]

RYAN IS AWESOME

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MysteryKittenThe1st [2011-07-08 12:35:28 +0000 UTC]

Oooh I was in LA about a month ago! I should've looked around for them

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Ebonycloud-Graphics In reply to MysteryKittenThe1st [2011-07-08 16:41:17 +0000 UTC]

They were probably stalking you o3o

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MysteryKittenThe1st In reply to Ebonycloud-Graphics [2011-07-08 16:50:36 +0000 UTC]

. .

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Hurricaneclaw In reply to ??? [2011-07-08 12:34:01 +0000 UTC]

NUUUUU teh comicccc TT.TT Oh well, this way is good too, I guess. X3 I likey the format

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Pointedflower [2011-07-08 12:33:44 +0000 UTC]

your writing is good, clean and precise but a tip

Dont denote a whole paragraph your "description" paragraph. Instead throw in tid-bits about the characters exact coloring and markings as they become obvious to the characters your story is following.

EX:

The voice belonged to thin brown tom with a distinct darker brown stripe down his back. His deep green eyes sparkled with curiosity.

Wolfpatch snarled.....

The brown tom chuckled........ "Look" he started again his creamy tipped tail twitching ".......

insulting Ghostclaw" he laughed aloud, a bemused smile curling his cream colored muzzle....

ECt. not exactly how i would do it but animals are always hard. Just spread out descriptions so that they dont sidetrack your readers mind. The whole point of a book is to provide a steady flow of images to the readers brain without shattering the illusion of a semi-reality. A paragraph of desciption without any sort of cataloging personality in the character who is making definitive notice of the opposing ones markings. It leads you one way then hurls you back on track.

That my advice ^^

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

Ebonycloud-Graphics In reply to Pointedflower [2011-07-08 16:46:35 +0000 UTC]

Not use to writing the comic out. Its a little odd to me ^^ For the most part I am still stuck in the "comic book" way of thinking. In the comic, the panel that you would have seen Ryan first making his appearance, you would have gotten all the information right then and there by just looking at him. So I didn't think to transition my way of thinking back to novel style. That plus while in college I don't get to write stories so I don't get to work on decriptions and stuff :/ Anyway, I'm still feeling lazy so I'm not going to change it this time around ;D

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Pointedflower In reply to Ebonycloud-Graphics [2011-07-09 22:40:57 +0000 UTC]

its okay i understand i used to do it too. Im just giving some advice ^^

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Night-Ice In reply to Pointedflower [2011-07-08 13:04:55 +0000 UTC]

That's solid advice.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Pointedflower In reply to Night-Ice [2011-07-08 13:12:46 +0000 UTC]

thanks ^^

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Bugwhisker In reply to ??? [2011-07-08 12:06:34 +0000 UTC]

So, to clarify, you're going from a graphic novel to a novel? Well, I have no problem with that. Great job with the writing, by the way!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Ebonycloud-Graphics In reply to Bugwhisker [2011-07-08 16:42:11 +0000 UTC]

Sorta, and if I ever feel like going back to graphic novel, I will ^^

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Bugwhisker In reply to Ebonycloud-Graphics [2011-07-09 06:39:19 +0000 UTC]

All right! Whatever you think will make the story work best, go with it.

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Ashymaniac In reply to ??? [2011-07-08 11:51:27 +0000 UTC]

Great job, just as always! Well, actually, I prefer reading the comic, but I really like this format as well. And if the others are interested in your story, they'll still keep reading it, no matter what format you chose. Just keep up the good work!

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Moxilin In reply to ??? [2011-07-08 11:45:09 +0000 UTC]

Wha!? No comics? I LUVED DA COMIC!!!!!

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Ironvoid In reply to ??? [2011-07-08 10:00:29 +0000 UTC]

I'm liking it so far

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kuno150 [2011-07-08 09:40:54 +0000 UTC]

cool i like any format for stories :3

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ParanorMelActivity In reply to ??? [2011-07-08 08:23:12 +0000 UTC]

Wonderful Comics are hard to make and keep up with, and each panel you spend so much time on only receives a few seconds to the reader's eye, so I find this much less stressful
Good luck and keep up the good work! ^^

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xX-NIGHTBANEWOLF-Xx In reply to ??? [2011-07-08 08:15:17 +0000 UTC]

cool!

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SelenaRH [2011-07-08 07:47:22 +0000 UTC]

Herp. So much for keeping up on the story. Sorry, but I hate reading stories like this without a comic to go along with it. Shame, was liking it too.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Ebonycloud-Graphics In reply to SelenaRH [2011-07-08 07:54:23 +0000 UTC]

Sad to here that ^^ Its whatever though. I enjoy it this way since its way easier on me

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

SelenaRH In reply to Ebonycloud-Graphics [2011-07-08 08:51:01 +0000 UTC]

ah

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Cylum In reply to Ebonycloud-Graphics [2011-07-08 08:00:31 +0000 UTC]

Easier, but it feels lazy,at least to me...I'm upset with this whole thing. The comic was too awesome to quit on.

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Ebonycloud-Graphics In reply to Cylum [2011-07-08 08:21:07 +0000 UTC]

The whole point is that I am being lazy. It's my dang summer right now. I've gotten some many people pounding me over the head with "more pages!" that I've taken the extreme opposite of that and said "Piss off!!" Im gonna do this my way ^^ So yeah... it is lazy but I don't really care ;D

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Cylum In reply to Ebonycloud-Graphics [2011-07-08 09:49:17 +0000 UTC]

But you can do both. You can be be lazy as long as you want, all summer, all YEAR and still do your comic. But that doesn't mean you need to quit the comic...I'm reading another comic that took a break in like January and isn't starting up again til september. You are the artist, a great artist making a great comic, so you can take as much time as you like, I just don't feel this comic should end...it feels like a waist to me. But really, don't be preasured by "MORE PAGE" bashers. Let me ask you a personal question, and we've had one like this before. What do YOU want to do? Do you want to continue making the comic? At your own relaxed pace I mean? Or are you really tired of making it? Don't think about the other people when you anwser.

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Ebonycloud-Graphics In reply to Cylum [2011-07-08 16:37:34 +0000 UTC]

Well I like my comic. I've been doing it for over two years. I started doing it for myself so that I could draw out the story that was going on in my head. At this point, I don't really want to quit, or continue doing it. You could say I'm stuck in limbo. Unfortunately I do have to think about my watchers and other people since they are the ones that like to look at my stuff the most :/ Another thing is, with this new thing that I'm doing, I've realized just how many pages it would have taken me to get that small amount of information in to. With all that writing I did, that would have been just another whole chapter unto itself. I don't personally like that fact that they only managed to cross the street... Anyway, I'm getting of track. Like I said, I just stuck in a place where it really doesn't matter one way or the other to me. For some reason I am indifferent to it. So I guess I will continue with what I am doing until I figure out what to do next ^^

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Cylum In reply to Ebonycloud-Graphics [2011-07-09 05:30:06 +0000 UTC]

That's true, but your watchers shouldn't bash you for pages. Bad watchers. *shakes finger* I have seen in other comics though, when there is a lot of information to convey, they something different. They have the character lead it in like. "It was something like this..." And then when the page turns, it's a full out page, like a book or old scroll, with story/information. That's one alternative, that way you get both, fast story, break from drawn pages, and quick information. with comics, there really are no rules.

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StarryEyedRaccoon [2011-07-08 07:46:43 +0000 UTC]

i miss the comic >> but i still like the story QAQ~

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NovemberWishes In reply to ??? [2011-07-08 07:45:23 +0000 UTC]

I like it~

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RubyRose364 In reply to ??? [2011-07-08 07:42:31 +0000 UTC]

wow very nice ^^ soo ur not gonna do the comice? or u are XD and this is great! love Ryan

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Ebonycloud-Graphics In reply to RubyRose364 [2011-07-08 07:55:09 +0000 UTC]

Well, for now I wont continue the comic. Its become a pain in the backside to make. Until I get the muse to continue, I will do it this way.

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RubyRose364 In reply to Ebonycloud-Graphics [2011-07-08 07:58:28 +0000 UTC]

^^ ok! heh

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