HOME | DD

Description
What is a self portrait and how does it manifest in me? I never did a self portrait, so this was an exercise I was quite serious about. I didn't want to focus on what is visible in which everyone can see anyways. To me, that is a portrait but its doesn't stay anything more. I wanted to show the invisible indicators of who I am. So who am I? My partner tells me, I'm quite the unicorn. I live life in the search for truth. I've been in poverty most of my life. One thing my father taught me is that there is one thing worse than being in poverty, being broken and stupid. So, I willfully wanted to learn what was true and what is B.S.. So, I envisioned being an architect. If I was to pick a TV character as an example of how I love others, it would be Ted Mosby from "How I Met Your Mother". I'm a hopeless romantic, since I've been a child growing up in a melting pot, i always cared and had empathy. So after my military experience, things shaped me differently than who I was once before. Now within my head there is no longer an audible voice as it used to be. In its place, now rest three tones that always play. One at 210 Hz, the second at 438 Hz and the final in which I can recognize is around 600 Hz. There isn't a voice per say to combat anything that I say or do. No final check, no pause for correction. Whatever is said or done is how I feel and what I mean. Words are extremely valuable to me. My heart I forever hold a passion to show my love. Showing love in everything I do is the goal, it's my eternal flame. I represented my flame as not red but as a rainbow. It doesn't matter the color of the skin of the being I interact with, I will always try my best to show love. My brain is damaged by TBIs and wartime PTSD, but with all my struggles, the social security administration tells me, I'm a young, well and abled body so I don't need help. Everyday I struggle with my inner demons, of my past, and always afraid of the decisions I will have to make in the future. I depicted that was me fighting myself (the two gentlemen with luminous swords. I have a need to fight darkness or rage with the light. Throughout my transition, I've grown to be more spiritually based. I've experienced a lot of inner struggles and major depression. Most of the time with my frustrations, I just want to scream. So I learn, rehab and gain control (gained self-control). I use my headphones whenever I get or I see the possibility of getting overwhelmed. I've learned to control my reactions, to control what I do. After gaining my tools for survival, I now throw down a safety rope to join whomever needs my help at the bottom. Most times, I have been in a similar situation, so I'm here to help them back up as well.

Description
What is a self portrait and how does it manifest in me? I never did a self portrait, so this was an exercise I was quite serious about. I didn't want to focus on what is visible in which everyone can see anyways. To me, that is a portrait but its doesn't stay anything more. I wanted to show the invisible indicators of who I am. So who am I? My partner tells me, I'm quite the unicorn. I live life in the search for truth. I've been in poverty most of my life. One thing my father taught me is that there is one thing worse than being in poverty, being broken and stupid. So, I willfully wanted to learn what was true and what is B.S.. So, I envisioned being an architect. If I was to pick a TV character as an example of how I love others, it would be Ted Mosby from "How I Met Your Mother". I'm a hopeless romantic, since I've been a child growing up in a melting pot, i always cared and had empathy. So after my military experience, things shaped me differently than who I was once before. Now within my head there is no longer an audible voice as it used to be. In its place, now rest three tones that always play. One at 210 Hz, the second at 438 Hz and the final in which I can recognize is around 600 Hz. There isn't a voice per say to combat anything that I say or do. No final check, no pause for correction. Whatever is said or done is how I feel and what I mean. Words are extremely valuable to me. My heart I forever hold a passion to show my love. Showing love in everything I do is the goal, it's my eternal flame. I represented my flame as not red but as a rainbow. It doesn't matter the color of the skin of the being I interact with, I will always try my best to show love. My brain is damaged by TBIs and wartime PTSD, but with all my struggles, the social security administration tells me, I'm a young, well and abled body so I don't need help. Everyday I struggle with my inner demons, of my past, and always afraid of the decisions I will have to make in the future. I depicted that was me fighting myself (the two gentlemen with luminous swords. I have a need to fight darkness or rage with the light. Throughout my transition, I've grown to be more spiritually based. I've experienced a lot of inner struggles and major depression. Most of the time with my frustrations, I just want to scream. So I learn, rehab and gain control (gained self-control). I use my headphones whenever I get or I see the possibility of getting overwhelmed. I've learned to control my reactions, to control what I do. After gaining my tools for survival, I now throw down a safety rope to join whomever needs my help at the bottom. Most times, I have been in a similar situation, so I'm here to help them back up as well.