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Guilt:

I can't wash this guilt off
No matter how hard I scrub.
I scratch harder and harder
Going deeper into my skin,
But it won't wash away.
It will never wash away.

The guilt of what I did will stay
With me until I do something
Worse than what was done.
That's going to be hard to do,
Considering it took three
And a half months to get here.

It was fine the once, where we
Stopped to think about it.
It wasn't fine the second time,
Where we got out of control.

What draws me to you, ended
Up pushing us apart in the end.
You say it was impulse, I say
It was lust getting out of hand.
(The pun intended).

I remember the kisses,
The movement,
The stickiness on my fingers.
What we both wanted so bad
Took control of our feelings.
We wern't ready for it, but we
Went for it anyways. No way to
Turn back, so many regrets.
So much guilt.

The evidence washes away,
The guilt does not.

That's what led to another
Conversation at night.
Not 2AM this time, but 11PM.
In the back seat of your car
Still in the pouring rain.

I promised myself I wouldn't cry
Over anyone else ever again.
I didn't live up to that promise.
And that guilt is still with me.

I promised myself I wouldn't fall
Too hard for a guy ever again.
I didn't live up to that promise.
And that guilt is with me.

I promised myself I would never be
The kind of girl to beg for you to stay.
I didn't live up to that promise.
And that guilt is with me.

I promised myself I would never
confess my secrets to someone.
I confessed to you.
I didn't live up to that promise.
And that guilt is still with me.

Guilt is written all over my body.
It won't wash off, no matter how hard
I scrub. I will try to scrub forever,
Or until you come back, saying that being
Apart is wrong after all. I will scrub at myself
For what happened and all the guilt that I now
Carry with me every day. I don't regret it
One but. I don't regret what we did at all.
Regret and guilt are two different things.
Regret makes me feel bad, guilt drags me down.