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Description

---BIG OL' FAT UPDATE---

I felt like this was missing a lot of substance and information, so i just decided to touch it up...everywhere.
If you wanna see the changes, i guess you'll have to re-read!
Sucks to suck, NEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEHHE
---------------------------------------------------

---This post is intended for 18+ audiences.---

---------------------------------------------------

EEEYYYYYY IT'S FIERCEVULPINE IN THE HOOOUUUSE!!
Y'ALREADY KNOW WHO IT EEEISSS!!!
*absolutely no one cheers, claps or stands*
FUCK YEAH! *power bombs the microphone off the stage*
Chaaaah...!

Hi.
Two days ago i paid $60 for a haircut i had been planning for like two months.
And i absolutely hate it.
So in the wake of my self-loathing over poor decisions, i have decided to unleash some ugliness from the inside, to match how ugly i feel on the outside.
Nothing out of the ordinary actually triggered this rant, i literally just saw my dad walk by with some Roundup for the 123584039667th time in my life and decided "Today's the day!"
Fuckle your beat selts, i have a LOT to say...
Or maybe not, we'll see.

---

I'm personally not a fan of synthetic...well, anything, really.
I live in The Land of the Free-to-get-diabetes and The Home of the Brave-are-the-ones-who-smoke-synthetic-weed.
I think plastic bottles are stupid and we should go back to glass (minus the super good re-suable ones, i really mean disposable ones), i think food should be food and not sludge and fake sugar, i think weed should be pure and un-fucked with, i think the animals we eat need to NOT be shafted with hormones and shit, etc.
There's a lot more to that but that's not for this post.
Anyway, basically synthetic stuff is dumb, and synthetic ways of doing simple jobs, are stupid.
If you use weedkiller (within total free will) and you find this insulting, um...
*Wildcat voice* I don't care.

It's...it's poison.
It's literally...just...shit.
It's manufactured death in a plastic (GRRR) bottle, that honestly no one should be surprised about being able to cause issues like cancer.
Sure, everything in the states causes cancer anymore, but POISON?!
I love how the people who issued lawsuits against the Roundup company used "We weren't warned properly" as an aid to their attempts at settlement.
*WHEEEEEEZE* BITCH, REALLY?!?!
You need to be WARNED about that?!
What the fuck were you doing, drinking it???
Never mind that; no one and nothing should be near weedkiller of ANY kind in the first place.
Spoiler alert!
If it will kill something else that is organic, then it will probably kill YOU, which is also organic.
Stuff like this reaffirms to me what an issue we have with prenatal cigarette smoking, drinking, and dropping infants on their heads.
Take better care of your babies, people, or they'll grow up to be numbnutted.
Ironically, I'm willing to bet my collection of squirrel bones that the majority of people who make that "we weren't warned" claim are the same group who don't believe in "being told what to do" in terms of eating unhealthy food, washing their hands, wearing seatbelts, stopping for red lights and stop signs, getting vaccinated against a literal plague, and so on.
You know it's the same people.

Now I know there's new bug sprays and stuff that have come out that claim to be safe for humans and animals, but just assume that it's not, and don't be a dumbass around it.
Because i have a sneaking suspicion that uhhh...the advertisement is bullshit.
Don't be gullible, and always do research.
It's no different than "sugarless sweet tea!"
Yeah, stevia is the replacement and that shit will fuck up your organs, don't eat or drink it.
Just eat the processed sugar instead, you're scarily better off in the long term (just cut back on it is all).

Admittedly, this is a slippery slope because i'm borderline encouraging halfwits to become deeply imbedded conspiracy theorists and hate and be terrified of everything, but that's not my goal, i promise!
No, the government is not trying to hide a flat earth, nor did they unleash Covid on us as some sort of population control.
Jewish people are not lizards (what the fuck is wrong with you???), Democrats do not eat children, and no one is putting chemicals in the water that are turning the freakin' frogs gay...on purpose.
Like -- chemical dumping is a real thing, and maybe some frogs are gay, but that's not...it's -- it ain't that deep, all right?
What i am saying, is to just be a little skeptical of advertisement.
Like -- okay, i mentioned anti-vaxxers.
Obviously, there are going to be side effects from taking medicine of any kind.
This is why when you get vaxxed/boostered for Covid, they advise you to sit there for like 20 minutes to make sure you don't have an allergic reaction or anything.
All people also have different reactions to medications and vaccines, like for example, one of my Covid boosters had my legs hurting REALLY FUCKING BAD for a day.
But did i die?

No!
Neither have almost every single person to ever be vaccinated against Covid.
Yes, this still has to do with weedkiller, don't you fuckin' walk away from me!!
Just because something has side effects doesn't mean it's intended to harm or kill people (or give them Autism, you fuckin' braindead chain-smoking bleach-chugging keg-standing uneducated Valium-addicted redneck cultist eugenicist CUNT).
You're not "special" for believing in insane shit...
At least, not in the sense that you think you are.
But if someone advertises something as being flawless or a little too good to be true, chances are that it is.
Like sugarless drinks, and weedkiller.
Err with caution, and HAVE SOME FUCKMOTHERING COMMON SENSE, WILL YOU?!
Mkay, back to poison. *stacks papers*

It never fails to amaze me how idiotic people are.
Not to mention lazy and selfish.
Are there places for poison?
Ya know what, sure.
Maybe you're tryin'a kill some more dangerous or irritating plants like poison ivy or whatever.
Poison is still bad for the environment, but it's agreeable to want a safe space for yourself, kids and pets in that regard.
However, before just resulting to chemical warfare against nature, at least deep research holistic (AKA, natural) methods of killing dangerous plants.
Insects and spiders, too.
Believe it or not, nature has a remedy for everything and if you take your time and use the right shit, you'll probably succeed without damaging the unholy fuck out of the ecosystem.
But ya know where there's no place for poison?

Almost everywhere.

Before i tear Roundup-users a new one, let's talk about what weedkiller does.
When you spray the plant, it ALLEGEDLY only is absorbed by that one plant through its roots and leaves and shit and it eventually dies.
Which makes people think "Oh, then it won't hurt anything else!"
*bursts through the screen and pokes you in the nose* WRONG, MOTHERFUCKER!

Insects and some animals may still eat those plants, and contrary to dumbass's beliefs, yes, the animals will also absorb that poison and become sick or die (death occurring slowly, as with humans).
And if you think insects eating poisoned plants is a benefit because you hate bugs, well fuck you!
Because those same bugs are consumed by birds, lizards and other animals, which is an indirect way they too, get sick from the transmitted poison.
Oh, it's also in the pollen and is altering bees' stomachs.
Fuckin' excellent.
And even if it's not enough to be lethal, or even noticeable in the animals, are you going to tell me that makes it okay?

What about the damage you don't see, until it's too late?

Like the cancers one can get from it?

The old 2-4 dinitrophenol and dinitrocresol compounds were highly toxic to all animals. Poisoning can occur if animals are sprayed accidentally or have immediate access to forage that has been sprayed, because these compounds are readily absorbed through skin or lungs.

Herbicide Poisoning - Special Pet Topics

Merck Veterinary Manual

www.merckvetmanual.com › ... › Poisoning

In Roundup (which is different from what i quoted above), it's advertised as safe for pets in small doses or after the spray has dried.
I'm sorry but...no.
Do you know how much fuckin' lying goes on?

This is like when cereal companies were pissed at the FDA for wanting to repeal the "healthy" label from most cereals, and people were shocked.
Like really???

Anyone who thought shit like Cocoa Puffs, Captain Crunch and Honey Smacks were healthy and normal to eat for breakfast, are braindead.
I will admit, i got a little fooled by the Cheerio's and Bran brands, but now that i'm more aware of the contents i can confidently say "Yes, i was a dumbass."

But that doesn't compare to EVER thinking it's safe to interact with POISON, or for POISON of any kind to not impact the environment.

Also that quote above may not have been for Roundup, but that's not exactly the only weedkiller people use.
People still use other shit, which is no doubt even more dangerous or created with far less care.
Regardless, Roundup still isn't saintly, and here's some quotes and links to discuss that:

"After spraying, residues have been found in nectar and pollen collected by bees foraging on treated plants. This dietary exposure to glyphosate could pose a hazard for flower-visiting animals including bees, and for the delivery of pollination services.

Penetration of glyphosate into the food supply and the ...

ScienceDirect.com

www.sciencedirect.com "

---

"Glyphosate (Roundup): Understanding Risks to Human ...

Penn State Extension

extension.psu.edu › glyphosate-roundup-understa...

Jan 5, 2023 — Glyphosate does not degrade quickly in plants. As a result, it is possible that glyphosate residues can occur in food products."

---

"Glyphosate in food and water

The Detox Project

detoxproject.org › glyphosate-in-food-water

Since cattle are mostly fed Roundup Ready soybeans, contamination with extreme levels of glyphosate could have serious consequences on cattle health."

---

This article here about Glyphosate in the food chain is excellent:

truthout.org/articles/glyphosa…

---

My mom would like it to be known that when Roundup first came out, back in her day no, people were not warned about the harmful effects of weedkiller, so older people who got sick should get a pass on missing that.
Like...fair enough, maybe i'm just a privileged product of a more intelligent and modern world, but back in "her day," was weedkiller, a POISON, really not considered to be a poison to EVERYTHING?!?
Like no average Joe thought "Hmm, if it's bad for one thing, maybe it's bad for everything"??
That would be like us learning that lead is toxic, but thinking lead can't poison animals or the environment (for the record i forgive people not knowing arsenic, lead and other shit was toxic for a long time, i mean there was no way to know until issues arose).
So i wanna be forgiving because again, maybe i'm just being an asshole, but something advertised to kill something through lethal chemicals is a red flag to me.
Sorry.
(I also love that the person who raised me to question everything a little and to be generally paranoid wants a pass for not having been paranoid about something obvious, the fuck?)

You guys ever hear those obnoxious medicine commercials (of course you do) and all their millions of side effects, and how one of the warnings in the commercial is "Do not take if you are allergic to X product"???
WHA-- D-- HUH?!?!
My bitch in Christ, if you have to be told that...

Hopefully if people find out they're allergic to it, they will know automatically not to take it anymore...
But my god...
The fact that that warning exists tells me all i need to know.
Genuinely, like many, i cannot tell if we're actually getting stupider or if we just have more access to see the spectacle of human stupidity.
I wanna believe it's the latter, because i know humans have always been dumb, but the more i learn the more questions i have about my own species.

Look everyone misses stuff or lacks some common sense once in a while, and i have to keep in mind that not everyone was raised by a paranoid narcissist like i was.
I miss shit, too.
But fam, you gotta level with me on this one...
Poison.
It's inconceivable.
Now does this mean i think the people who got sick from using Roundup, deserved to get those illnesses?

Nooo, of course not (that is not sarcasm, i promise).
There's a collective lack of IQ -- or even just care from many people (MY FATHER) about handling chemicals and shit.
And at the end of the day, i can only fault stupidity and arrogance so much, as i myself got fat and gained some health issues by doing some things that other people would perceive as stupid.
(At least my weight gain was caused majorly by mental health problems and medication, but whatever...)
And while certain complex issues baffle all of us, i still feel the need to go ham on how obvious this weedkiller thing is to me.
So in case you have somehow been deceived into thinking Roundup is safe, i'm taking the liberty of laying out some other obvious things you may have missed along the way.
For your health, of course... *trills fingers*

Did you know that 100% of all fatalities from being lit on fire, are caused by being lit on fire?

Research shows that when the sun "goes down," it is still in fact, "on." You just can't see it anymore.

You can't breathe the air, if there is no air to breathe.

If a tree falls in a forest and you're not around to hear it, then you won't hear it.

It's been proven that eating Skittles will not actually enable you to taste rainbows.

Field research conducted by everybody reveals that falling from a high height carries an integral risk of breaking your body parts and/or dying.

Mars Bars are actually made on Earth.

Wild animals are not your friends.

Slamming your penis in a doorway of any kind will hurt very badly.

Did you know that boofing food will not cause you to later poop out of your mouth?

100% of all bees are classified as bees! That's a lotta bees.

Homer Simpson is not a real life human.

Extensive studies on salmon has proven that they do not care about your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

A landline telephone is not two separate tin cans laid on the ground with a line drawn between them in dirt.

Suffocating may cause suffocation.

When you go to sleep, you're not awake anymore.

If you die in a video game, you will not die in real life.

Africans with beards are just Africans without beards, with beards.

Swimming in an outdoor pool while holding giant metal rods and having a cable running from an outlet to your anus during a lightning storm is considered "unsafe."

Water is the best hydrating fluid, because God made it for you to drink it.

Statistically, putting sugar on your fruit to tolerate eating it, makes you a pussy.

Most people have not cared enough to trust Robert John and Associates through the years.

100% of bullies are insecure assholes (yes, i have looked in the mirror today).

Our eyeballs can see colors because we evolved to see colors through our eyeballs.

White people are not built for longterm sun exposure.

If you dropped a bowling ball and a feather from a height of 100 feet, from the top of a building, one of those items will absolutely kill someone walking under it.

Studies have linked actively killing our planet to our planet actively dying.

Tits are tits.

"No" really does mean "no."

I think that pretty much takes care of the more obvious things for now, but lemme know if i missed any crucial ones!

I take the piss out of everything, but every time i see my dad walk by with weedkiller i just feel disheartened because there is literally nothing i can do to stop his bullshit.
It infuriates me when i see people spraying random one-off dandelions or other little weeds on their perfectly manicured, boring-as-shit lifeless yards.
It's actually pitiful to be so hateful of nature and so determined to have literally nothing in your fuckin' yard that even nature itself isn't welcome.
I also see people spray sidewalk lines around their yards for the weeds, and it's so...
IT'S DUMB.
Imagine having such a frail sense of power and ego that the only way you can feel like your cock is bigger than an inch in diameter is to target a single little stupid ass yellow flower on your fugly lawn and spray it in the face with poison, through an apparatus that looks like a waterpik for dinosaurs.
You just look like a neurotic jackass with nothing better to do.
It's not admirable, it's not "cool," it's just sad.

"But Fae, what do we do about the weeds???"

Well, i've been doing some intense research, and i think i came up with a solution.
*busts out the red string*
Theoretically, if we wear some sort of protection on our hands against thorny flora and splinters, and wear cranial protection against the ultraviolet rays of the solar system's dominant star, and actually bend our knees and lower ourselves to the terrestrial ground, we may, with the aid of tools and our dexterity...be able...to remove them manually...from the soil...
Pretty great, right?

I figured that shit out all on my own.
Impressive, i know.

Just pull the goddamn weeds.
I'm not saying you have to tolerate unwanted plants leaching off the water in your garden, i'm just saying you're not actually doing your garden a favor by intoxicating your favorite flowers' neighbors.
If you're physically impaired, hire someone to do it -- namely a friend or family member.
Alternatively, depending on your ability (or lack there of), using grabbers and other long tools could enable you to do so.
Use your brain and use tools, assuming you have the former.
I personally like to sit on a little stool that i move around the rock bed in my back yard and pluck and dig them out as i go.
If that sounds like too much work for the average person, you're a lazy git who doesn't need a garden (yes, even when i pluck weeds dad still decides to spray).
If you're too busy to properly tend your garden, then you don't need one.
You are not so important that your desire for a pretty yard and perfectly balanced flower garden should come at the cost of you throat-fucking the ecosystem, just to save yourself time.
It's frustrating to think how much better and cleaner our world would be if more people just did things in a clean, natural way.
I myself have habits i need to break and build, but at least i'm open to that and am trying with each new thing.

---

That's my hippie rant of the day
Just wanted to bitch at the population again!
Leave a commmeeennntttt~~~

---Fae and this artwork belongs to me. The "Mars bar" joke is from Golden Girls. The "Africans with beards" joke is by Osvaldo Cardoso on Twitter. If you take my art i will make you boof my left shoe and prove that you can't poop it back out your mouth---

Description

---BIG OL' FAT UPDATE---

I felt like this was missing a lot of substance and information, so i just decided to touch it up...everywhere.
If you wanna see the changes, i guess you'll have to re-read!
Sucks to suck, NEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEHHE
---------------------------------------------------

---This post is intended for 18+ audiences.---

---------------------------------------------------

EEEYYYYYY IT'S FIERCEVULPINE IN THE HOOOUUUSE!!
Y'ALREADY KNOW WHO IT EEEISSS!!!
*absolutely no one cheers, claps or stands*
FUCK YEAH! *power bombs the microphone off the stage*
Chaaaah...!

Hi.
Two days ago i paid $60 for a haircut i had been planning for like two months.
And i absolutely hate it.
So in the wake of my self-loathing over poor decisions, i have decided to unleash some ugliness from the inside, to match how ugly i feel on the outside.
Nothing out of the ordinary actually triggered this rant, i literally just saw my dad walk by with some Roundup for the 123584039667th time in my life and decided "Today's the day!"
Fuckle your beat selts, i have a LOT to say...
Or maybe not, we'll see.

---

I'm personally not a fan of synthetic...well, anything, really.
I live in The Land of the Free-to-get-diabetes and The Home of the Brave-are-the-ones-who-smoke-synthetic-weed.
I think plastic bottles are stupid and we should go back to glass (minus the super good re-suable ones, i really mean disposable ones), i think food should be food and not sludge and fake sugar, i think weed should be pure and un-fucked with, i think the animals we eat need to NOT be shafted with hormones and shit, etc.
There's a lot more to that but that's not for this post.
Anyway, basically synthetic stuff is dumb, and synthetic ways of doing simple jobs, are stupid.
If you use weedkiller (within total free will) and you find this insulting, um...
*Wildcat voice* I don't care.

It's...it's poison.
It's literally...just...shit.
It's manufactured death in a plastic (GRRR) bottle, that honestly no one should be surprised about being able to cause issues like cancer.
Sure, everything in the states causes cancer anymore, but POISON?!
I love how the people who issued lawsuits against the Roundup company used "We weren't warned properly" as an aid to their attempts at settlement.
*WHEEEEEEZE* BITCH, REALLY?!?!
You need to be WARNED about that?!
What the fuck were you doing, drinking it???
Never mind that; no one and nothing should be near weedkiller of ANY kind in the first place.
Spoiler alert!
If it will kill something else that is organic, then it will probably kill YOU, which is also organic.
Stuff like this reaffirms to me what an issue we have with prenatal cigarette smoking, drinking, and dropping infants on their heads.
Take better care of your babies, people, or they'll grow up to be numbnutted.
Ironically, I'm willing to bet my collection of squirrel bones that the majority of people who make that "we weren't warned" claim are the same group who don't believe in "being told what to do" in terms of eating unhealthy food, washing their hands, wearing seatbelts, stopping for red lights and stop signs, getting vaccinated against a literal plague, and so on.
You know it's the same people.

Now I know there's new bug sprays and stuff that have come out that claim to be safe for humans and animals, but just assume that it's not, and don't be a dumbass around it.
Because i have a sneaking suspicion that uhhh...the advertisement is bullshit.
Don't be gullible, and always do research.
It's no different than "sugarless sweet tea!"
Yeah, stevia is the replacement and that shit will fuck up your organs, don't eat or drink it.
Just eat the processed sugar instead, you're scarily better off in the long term (just cut back on it is all).

Admittedly, this is a slippery slope because i'm borderline encouraging halfwits to become deeply imbedded conspiracy theorists and hate and be terrified of everything, but that's not my goal, i promise!
No, the government is not trying to hide a flat earth, nor did they unleash Covid on us as some sort of population control.
Jewish people are not lizards (what the fuck is wrong with you???), Democrats do not eat children, and no one is putting chemicals in the water that are turning the freakin' frogs gay...on purpose.
Like -- chemical dumping is a real thing, and maybe some frogs are gay, but that's not...it's -- it ain't that deep, all right?
What i am saying, is to just be a little skeptical of advertisement.
Like -- okay, i mentioned anti-vaxxers.
Obviously, there are going to be side effects from taking medicine of any kind.
This is why when you get vaxxed/boostered for Covid, they advise you to sit there for like 20 minutes to make sure you don't have an allergic reaction or anything.
All people also have different reactions to medications and vaccines, like for example, one of my Covid boosters had my legs hurting REALLY FUCKING BAD for a day.
But did i die?

No!
Neither have almost every single person to ever be vaccinated against Covid.
Yes, this still has to do with weedkiller, don't you fuckin' walk away from me!!
Just because something has side effects doesn't mean it's intended to harm or kill people (or give them Autism, you fuckin' braindead chain-smoking bleach-chugging keg-standing uneducated Valium-addicted redneck cultist eugenicist CUNT).
You're not "special" for believing in insane shit...
At least, not in the sense that you think you are.
But if someone advertises something as being flawless or a little too good to be true, chances are that it is.
Like sugarless drinks, and weedkiller.
Err with caution, and HAVE SOME FUCKMOTHERING COMMON SENSE, WILL YOU?!
Mkay, back to poison. *stacks papers*

It never fails to amaze me how idiotic people are.
Not to mention lazy and selfish.
Are there places for poison?
Ya know what, sure.
Maybe you're tryin'a kill some more dangerous or irritating plants like poison ivy or whatever.
Poison is still bad for the environment, but it's agreeable to want a safe space for yourself, kids and pets in that regard.
However, before just resulting to chemical warfare against nature, at least deep research holistic (AKA, natural) methods of killing dangerous plants.
Insects and spiders, too.
Believe it or not, nature has a remedy for everything and if you take your time and use the right shit, you'll probably succeed without damaging the unholy fuck out of the ecosystem.
But ya know where there's no place for poison?

Almost everywhere.

Before i tear Roundup-users a new one, let's talk about what weedkiller does.
When you spray the plant, it ALLEGEDLY only is absorbed by that one plant through its roots and leaves and shit and it eventually dies.
Which makes people think "Oh, then it won't hurt anything else!"
*bursts through the screen and pokes you in the nose* WRONG, MOTHERFUCKER!

Insects and some animals may still eat those plants, and contrary to dumbass's beliefs, yes, the animals will also absorb that poison and become sick or die (death occurring slowly, as with humans).
And if you think insects eating poisoned plants is a benefit because you hate bugs, well fuck you!
Because those same bugs are consumed by birds, lizards and other animals, which is an indirect way they too, get sick from the transmitted poison.
Oh, it's also in the pollen and is altering bees' stomachs.
Fuckin' excellent.
And even if it's not enough to be lethal, or even noticeable in the animals, are you going to tell me that makes it okay?

What about the damage you don't see, until it's too late?

Like the cancers one can get from it?

The old 2-4 dinitrophenol and dinitrocresol compounds were highly toxic to all animals. Poisoning can occur if animals are sprayed accidentally or have immediate access to forage that has been sprayed, because these compounds are readily absorbed through skin or lungs.

Herbicide Poisoning - Special Pet Topics

Merck Veterinary Manual

www.merckvetmanual.com › ... › Poisoning

In Roundup (which is different from what i quoted above), it's advertised as safe for pets in small doses or after the spray has dried.
I'm sorry but...no.
Do you know how much fuckin' lying goes on?

This is like when cereal companies were pissed at the FDA for wanting to repeal the "healthy" label from most cereals, and people were shocked.
Like really???

Anyone who thought shit like Cocoa Puffs, Captain Crunch and Honey Smacks were healthy and normal to eat for breakfast, are braindead.
I will admit, i got a little fooled by the Cheerio's and Bran brands, but now that i'm more aware of the contents i can confidently say "Yes, i was a dumbass."

But that doesn't compare to EVER thinking it's safe to interact with POISON, or for POISON of any kind to not impact the environment.

Also that quote above may not have been for Roundup, but that's not exactly the only weedkiller people use.
People still use other shit, which is no doubt even more dangerous or created with far less care.
Regardless, Roundup still isn't saintly, and here's some quotes and links to discuss that:

"After spraying, residues have been found in nectar and pollen collected by bees foraging on treated plants. This dietary exposure to glyphosate could pose a hazard for flower-visiting animals including bees, and for the delivery of pollination services.

Penetration of glyphosate into the food supply and the ...

ScienceDirect.com

www.sciencedirect.com "

---

"Glyphosate (Roundup): Understanding Risks to Human ...

Penn State Extension

extension.psu.edu › glyphosate-roundup-understa...

Jan 5, 2023 — Glyphosate does not degrade quickly in plants. As a result, it is possible that glyphosate residues can occur in food products."

---

"Glyphosate in food and water

The Detox Project

detoxproject.org › glyphosate-in-food-water

Since cattle are mostly fed Roundup Ready soybeans, contamination with extreme levels of glyphosate could have serious consequences on cattle health."

---

This article here about Glyphosate in the food chain is excellent:

truthout.org/articles/glyphosa…

---

My mom would like it to be known that when Roundup first came out, back in her day no, people were not warned about the harmful effects of weedkiller, so older people who got sick should get a pass on missing that.
Like...fair enough, maybe i'm just a privileged product of a more intelligent and modern world, but back in "her day," was weedkiller, a POISON, really not considered to be a poison to EVERYTHING?!?
Like no average Joe thought "Hmm, if it's bad for one thing, maybe it's bad for everything"??
That would be like us learning that lead is toxic, but thinking lead can't poison animals or the environment (for the record i forgive people not knowing arsenic, lead and other shit was toxic for a long time, i mean there was no way to know until issues arose).
So i wanna be forgiving because again, maybe i'm just being an asshole, but something advertised to kill something through lethal chemicals is a red flag to me.
Sorry.
(I also love that the person who raised me to question everything a little and to be generally paranoid wants a pass for not having been paranoid about something obvious, the fuck?)

You guys ever hear those obnoxious medicine commercials (of course you do) and all their millions of side effects, and how one of the warnings in the commercial is "Do not take if you are allergic to X product"???
WHA-- D-- HUH?!?!
My bitch in Christ, if you have to be told that...

Hopefully if people find out they're allergic to it, they will know automatically not to take it anymore...
But my god...
The fact that that warning exists tells me all i need to know.
Genuinely, like many, i cannot tell if we're actually getting stupider or if we just have more access to see the spectacle of human stupidity.
I wanna believe it's the latter, because i know humans have always been dumb, but the more i learn the more questions i have about my own species.

Look everyone misses stuff or lacks some common sense once in a while, and i have to keep in mind that not everyone was raised by a paranoid narcissist like i was.
I miss shit, too.
But fam, you gotta level with me on this one...
Poison.
It's inconceivable.
Now does this mean i think the people who got sick from using Roundup, deserved to get those illnesses?

Nooo, of course not (that is not sarcasm, i promise).
There's a collective lack of IQ -- or even just care from many people (MY FATHER) about handling chemicals and shit.
And at the end of the day, i can only fault stupidity and arrogance so much, as i myself got fat and gained some health issues by doing some things that other people would perceive as stupid.
(At least my weight gain was caused majorly by mental health problems and medication, but whatever...)
And while certain complex issues baffle all of us, i still feel the need to go ham on how obvious this weedkiller thing is to me.
So in case you have somehow been deceived into thinking Roundup is safe, i'm taking the liberty of laying out some other obvious things you may have missed along the way.
For your health, of course... *trills fingers*

Did you know that 100% of all fatalities from being lit on fire, are caused by being lit on fire?

Research shows that when the sun "goes down," it is still in fact, "on." You just can't see it anymore.

You can't breathe the air, if there is no air to breathe.

If a tree falls in a forest and you're not around to hear it, then you won't hear it.

It's been proven that eating Skittles will not actually enable you to taste rainbows.

Field research conducted by everybody reveals that falling from a high height carries an integral risk of breaking your body parts and/or dying.

Mars Bars are actually made on Earth.

Wild animals are not your friends.

Slamming your penis in a doorway of any kind will hurt very badly.

Did you know that boofing food will not cause you to later poop out of your mouth?

100% of all bees are classified as bees! That's a lotta bees.

Homer Simpson is not a real life human.

Extensive studies on salmon has proven that they do not care about your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

A landline telephone is not two separate tin cans laid on the ground with a line drawn between them in dirt.

Suffocating may cause suffocation.

When you go to sleep, you're not awake anymore.

If you die in a video game, you will not die in real life.

Africans with beards are just Africans without beards, with beards.

Swimming in an outdoor pool while holding giant metal rods and having a cable running from an outlet to your anus during a lightning storm is considered "unsafe."

Water is the best hydrating fluid, because God made it for you to drink it.

Statistically, putting sugar on your fruit to tolerate eating it, makes you a pussy.

Most people have not cared enough to trust Robert John and Associates through the years.

100% of bullies are insecure assholes (yes, i have looked in the mirror today).

Our eyeballs can see colors because we evolved to see colors through our eyeballs.

White people are not built for longterm sun exposure.

If you dropped a bowling ball and a feather from a height of 100 feet, from the top of a building, one of those items will absolutely kill someone walking under it.

Studies have linked actively killing our planet to our planet actively dying.

Tits are tits.

"No" really does mean "no."

I think that pretty much takes care of the more obvious things for now, but lemme know if i missed any crucial ones!

I take the piss out of everything, but every time i see my dad walk by with weedkiller i just feel disheartened because there is literally nothing i can do to stop his bullshit.
It infuriates me when i see people spraying random one-off dandelions or other little weeds on their perfectly manicured, boring-as-shit lifeless yards.
It's actually pitiful to be so hateful of nature and so determined to have literally nothing in your fuckin' yard that even nature itself isn't welcome.
I also see people spray sidewalk lines around their yards for the weeds, and it's so...
IT'S DUMB.
Imagine having such a frail sense of power and ego that the only way you can feel like your cock is bigger than an inch in diameter is to target a single little stupid ass yellow flower on your fugly lawn and spray it in the face with poison, through an apparatus that looks like a waterpik for dinosaurs.
You just look like a neurotic jackass with nothing better to do.
It's not admirable, it's not "cool," it's just sad.

"But Fae, what do we do about the weeds???"

Well, i've been doing some intense research, and i think i came up with a solution.
*busts out the red string*
Theoretically, if we wear some sort of protection on our hands against thorny flora and splinters, and wear cranial protection against the ultraviolet rays of the solar system's dominant star, and actually bend our knees and lower ourselves to the terrestrial ground, we may, with the aid of tools and our dexterity...be able...to remove them manually...from the soil...
Pretty great, right?

I figured that shit out all on my own.
Impressive, i know.

Just pull the goddamn weeds.
I'm not saying you have to tolerate unwanted plants leaching off the water in your garden, i'm just saying you're not actually doing your garden a favor by intoxicating your favorite flowers' neighbors.
If you're physically impaired, hire someone to do it -- namely a friend or family member.
Alternatively, depending on your ability (or lack there of), using grabbers and other long tools could enable you to do so.
Use your brain and use tools, assuming you have the former.
I personally like to sit on a little stool that i move around the rock bed in my back yard and pluck and dig them out as i go.
If that sounds like too much work for the average person, you're a lazy git who doesn't need a garden (yes, even when i pluck weeds dad still decides to spray).
If you're too busy to properly tend your garden, then you don't need one.
You are not so important that your desire for a pretty yard and perfectly balanced flower garden should come at the cost of you throat-fucking the ecosystem, just to save yourself time.
It's frustrating to think how much better and cleaner our world would be if more people just did things in a clean, natural way.
I myself have habits i need to break and build, but at least i'm open to that and am trying with each new thing.

---

That's my hippie rant of the day
Just wanted to bitch at the population again!
Leave a commmeeennntttt~~~

---Fae and this artwork belongs to me. The "Mars bar" joke is from Golden Girls. The "Africans with beards" joke is by Osvaldo Cardoso on Twitter. If you take my art i will make you boof my left shoe and prove that you can't poop it back out your mouth---