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Description
When Two Becomes None

How can one judge the decay of the human spirit? Can it be done with science, as it is with the physical body? Or is it measured by the loss of thought in the mind, or the loss of love in the heart? I personally think it can only be measured by the change in feelings of the person. In this society, it seems we value knowledge, but at the same time, we suppress it in favour of entertainment.

Since the very beginning, it seemed we were together. A friendship forged out of steel. Nothing could separate us. Many things occur in life to which we are subjected. We are tested to see what we can overcome. Friendships face the hardest tests sometimes. Some friendships aren’t meant to last. Chris and I were different. It was as if we were meant to be friends, for the benefit of both of us. I even knew what he was feeling at any given time.

From day one, we all knew Chris was special. The tests said so. He was a typical child I suppose. He was better at languages, better at writing, better spelling, and better at speaking than he should have been for a child at that age. His comprehensions were at many grade levels above his peerse. The tests said he had unlimited potential - they were right. Then again, what child doesn’t have potential? There are two paths to choose for a child to take; the path of nourishment, support, and motivation; or the path of normality, missed opportunities, and wasted potential. Chris’ path was that of the latter. Not by his own choice of course, but by the choice of those around him. Maybe that wasn’t even the choice they made, but rather a mistake on their part that was mishandled. Chris never acted like he was better than anybody else, because he didn’t believe he was - and he wasn’t. He never acted smarter than the other children either, although he may have been. In fact, he tended to act more like a child on the lower end of the intelligence scale. Aside from the intelligence testing, Chris underwent psychological testing. The latter of those tests tend to counteract the positives of the others. I hesitate to use the word gifted to describe Chris, as I am unsure of whether he actually fit the description of that more than that of a child with enormous potential.
Chris had good genes. His older sister had the same potential. She was at the top of her class too. Chris’ dad was a math professor at a high school and university level. His dad was a gifted child, smarter than 98% of the students his age. His potential was met. Sadly, Chris’ fell by the wayside. The major reason for this was a lack of focus. Chris was diagnosed with A.D.D., the same thing his dad had as a child, but there were no drugs to combat it then. The nourishment that Chris needed to thrive was put on the shelf in favour of drugs. Rather than being nurtured like a plant - allowed to grow up and out - Chris was subdued with drugs, and forced to die on the outside and grow inwards - to the emptiness of darkness. That all but killed that potential. Rather than being treated differently to enhance his abilities, Chris was treated like a child that lacked the intelligence of the other kids. Remedial programs in lieu of accelerated ones, trips to school councillors and child psychiatrists, rather than trips to the museum. And they say kids are not affected by changes brought on by drugs. Chris was, I saw it.

Chris was always the entertainer. He loved to put on a show for everyone around him. It helped him to get away from everything. Laughter was his muse. He would rather be looked at as the “funny kid”, rather than being the nerd. Then they gave him the drugs. The drugs made him different. I noticed a change in his personality right away. He was no longer happy when I was around him. He became a zombie. Instead of lively in class, he slept and said nothing. I also noticed that he ate less. He was angrier now too. Now there were daily trips to the principal’s office, suspensions, and a near expulsion from school. He hung out with the bad kids because he thought he was one - at least, treated like one. Whether all of this was caused by family problems at home, or whether it was just a phase, is still unknown to me. I suppose it could have been the tension between his parents at home, and their separation and subsequent divorce that finally set him off. Then again, that happens to a lot of families. I can’t even remember if his trips to the psychiatrist were before or after that event. I don’t think Chris ever had two parents at those meetings either. I suppose these events are a lot for a child in elementary school to handle. I do know that Chris was bitter at his parents. Bitter because they were consumed with other issues; bitter that he only ever had one show of support at any one time; bitter that he lost a father and a sister at the same time. I think that was the hardest thing for him. I don’t think he knew it at the time, but not having his sister around hurt him deeply. I could see that he idolized his sister. She was his support, she was his role-model, she was another person that left him. I cry now at the very thought of how much love he had for his sister. If you could only see the tears on the page; tears don’t translate into words very well. Not having her around was hard for him to take. Neither of the kids had any choice in the matter of course. The separation would only get worse. Chris and his mother moved away to pursue a job opportunity. His contact with the other two members of his immediate family was reduced to yearly, if that. I can’t imagine what that must have been like for him to start over again with only one person in his life. Of course, his teen years were up next on the docket. Chris was thrown in amongst all the others, dealing with their own issues, trying to figure out who they were. It was far too late now to seek that encouragement, that motivation, that desire to be different. All that Chris really needed all those years ago, was that little push, that little sign that he had support, that little spark. He knew he was loved, but love and support are two completely different things. I knew he was a normal kid, I guess he knew that too. I can only venture a guess that he knew that he was far better off than others, that others had far bigger problems. It still hurts, though.

I lost contact with Chris at that time. We were no longer one. Hell, I don’t even know if we were two at that point. I think that’s when two became none. It’s sad how two people, close enough to be one, could grow so far apart to a point where neither one could recognize the other, both inside and out. If only there was a way to get back what once was. To make whole what was torn apart.

I came across an entry in Chris’ journal that was left behind when he moved. It was ripped out of a book and put into an envelope. It had my name scrawled across the front. I guess it was his farewell note to me. I don’t think I understood what it meant back then, but I think I do now. How could he have known then what I know now? I still look back on that entry, and it still hurts, every time. To this day I wonder what happened to that child I used to know. Did he grow outwards, or was he forced inwards? I hope he was not lost amongst the confusion and normality of society. I hope he makes something of himself. I truly do.

"Winter brings on cold and death, only to feed the light and rebirth of spring. What once was dead, shall live again. Let us not pass judgement on others, but rather, on ourselves. It is through this, that we can truly discover who, or what, we really are."

The flower that once flourished on the outside,

Was not nourished and became weak.

It withered and died.

Hope was once there,

But no longer it is.

It’s cold and dark on the inside,

Spring will come again,

Renewal will begin.

The old death has gone,

Crawled out from within.

Flowers in bloom,

Light hits the ground.

Death will return,

With nary a sound.

Life feeds on life,

Death feeds on death.

Each has it’s time,

Each has it’s breath.

A new day begins,

Only to end.

From Heaven we fall,

From Hell we ascend.

Description
When Two Becomes None

How can one judge the decay of the human spirit? Can it be done with science, as it is with the physical body? Or is it measured by the loss of thought in the mind, or the loss of love in the heart? I personally think it can only be measured by the change in feelings of the person. In this society, it seems we value knowledge, but at the same time, we suppress it in favour of entertainment.

Since the very beginning, it seemed we were together. A friendship forged out of steel. Nothing could separate us. Many things occur in life to which we are subjected. We are tested to see what we can overcome. Friendships face the hardest tests sometimes. Some friendships aren’t meant to last. Chris and I were different. It was as if we were meant to be friends, for the benefit of both of us. I even knew what he was feeling at any given time.

From day one, we all knew Chris was special. The tests said so. He was a typical child I suppose. He was better at languages, better at writing, better spelling, and better at speaking than he should have been for a child at that age. His comprehensions were at many grade levels above his peerse. The tests said he had unlimited potential - they were right. Then again, what child doesn’t have potential? There are two paths to choose for a child to take; the path of nourishment, support, and motivation; or the path of normality, missed opportunities, and wasted potential. Chris’ path was that of the latter. Not by his own choice of course, but by the choice of those around him. Maybe that wasn’t even the choice they made, but rather a mistake on their part that was mishandled. Chris never acted like he was better than anybody else, because he didn’t believe he was - and he wasn’t. He never acted smarter than the other children either, although he may have been. In fact, he tended to act more like a child on the lower end of the intelligence scale. Aside from the intelligence testing, Chris underwent psychological testing. The latter of those tests tend to counteract the positives of the others. I hesitate to use the word gifted to describe Chris, as I am unsure of whether he actually fit the description of that more than that of a child with enormous potential.
Chris had good genes. His older sister had the same potential. She was at the top of her class too. Chris’ dad was a math professor at a high school and university level. His dad was a gifted child, smarter than 98% of the students his age. His potential was met. Sadly, Chris’ fell by the wayside. The major reason for this was a lack of focus. Chris was diagnosed with A.D.D., the same thing his dad had as a child, but there were no drugs to combat it then. The nourishment that Chris needed to thrive was put on the shelf in favour of drugs. Rather than being nurtured like a plant - allowed to grow up and out - Chris was subdued with drugs, and forced to die on the outside and grow inwards - to the emptiness of darkness. That all but killed that potential. Rather than being treated differently to enhance his abilities, Chris was treated like a child that lacked the intelligence of the other kids. Remedial programs in lieu of accelerated ones, trips to school councillors and child psychiatrists, rather than trips to the museum. And they say kids are not affected by changes brought on by drugs. Chris was, I saw it.

Chris was always the entertainer. He loved to put on a show for everyone around him. It helped him to get away from everything. Laughter was his muse. He would rather be looked at as the “funny kid”, rather than being the nerd. Then they gave him the drugs. The drugs made him different. I noticed a change in his personality right away. He was no longer happy when I was around him. He became a zombie. Instead of lively in class, he slept and said nothing. I also noticed that he ate less. He was angrier now too. Now there were daily trips to the principal’s office, suspensions, and a near expulsion from school. He hung out with the bad kids because he thought he was one - at least, treated like one. Whether all of this was caused by family problems at home, or whether it was just a phase, is still unknown to me. I suppose it could have been the tension between his parents at home, and their separation and subsequent divorce that finally set him off. Then again, that happens to a lot of families. I can’t even remember if his trips to the psychiatrist were before or after that event. I don’t think Chris ever had two parents at those meetings either. I suppose these events are a lot for a child in elementary school to handle. I do know that Chris was bitter at his parents. Bitter because they were consumed with other issues; bitter that he only ever had one show of support at any one time; bitter that he lost a father and a sister at the same time. I think that was the hardest thing for him. I don’t think he knew it at the time, but not having his sister around hurt him deeply. I could see that he idolized his sister. She was his support, she was his role-model, she was another person that left him. I cry now at the very thought of how much love he had for his sister. If you could only see the tears on the page; tears don’t translate into words very well. Not having her around was hard for him to take. Neither of the kids had any choice in the matter of course. The separation would only get worse. Chris and his mother moved away to pursue a job opportunity. His contact with the other two members of his immediate family was reduced to yearly, if that. I can’t imagine what that must have been like for him to start over again with only one person in his life. Of course, his teen years were up next on the docket. Chris was thrown in amongst all the others, dealing with their own issues, trying to figure out who they were. It was far too late now to seek that encouragement, that motivation, that desire to be different. All that Chris really needed all those years ago, was that little push, that little sign that he had support, that little spark. He knew he was loved, but love and support are two completely different things. I knew he was a normal kid, I guess he knew that too. I can only venture a guess that he knew that he was far better off than others, that others had far bigger problems. It still hurts, though.

I lost contact with Chris at that time. We were no longer one. Hell, I don’t even know if we were two at that point. I think that’s when two became none. It’s sad how two people, close enough to be one, could grow so far apart to a point where neither one could recognize the other, both inside and out. If only there was a way to get back what once was. To make whole what was torn apart.

I came across an entry in Chris’ journal that was left behind when he moved. It was ripped out of a book and put into an envelope. It had my name scrawled across the front. I guess it was his farewell note to me. I don’t think I understood what it meant back then, but I think I do now. How could he have known then what I know now? I still look back on that entry, and it still hurts, every time. To this day I wonder what happened to that child I used to know. Did he grow outwards, or was he forced inwards? I hope he was not lost amongst the confusion and normality of society. I hope he makes something of himself. I truly do.

"Winter brings on cold and death, only to feed the light and rebirth of spring. What once was dead, shall live again. Let us not pass judgement on others, but rather, on ourselves. It is through this, that we can truly discover who, or what, we really are."

The flower that once flourished on the outside,

Was not nourished and became weak.

It withered and died.

Hope was once there,

But no longer it is.

It’s cold and dark on the inside,

Spring will come again,

Renewal will begin.

The old death has gone,

Crawled out from within.

Flowers in bloom,

Light hits the ground.

Death will return,

With nary a sound.

Life feeds on life,

Death feeds on death.

Each has it’s time,

Each has it’s breath.

A new day begins,

Only to end.

From Heaven we fall,

From Hell we ascend.