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“There's nothing like deep breaths after laughing that hard.
Nothing in the world like a sore stomach for the right reasons.”
― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

A/N: Warning. The following story contains bad puns, corny comebacks and cheesy pick-up lines. Read at your own risk.

“Hello, I believe you must be [Y/N] from the exchange program. I am Matthias Køhler.” You must have been blinded for a second by the huge, perfect grin the guy was showing off. He was a bit taller than you, but you weren’t sure if it was just his wild and gravity defying hair. He was sending vibrant and energetic vibes towards you, as well as some kindness full wave, which you already liked about him. He was wearing black velvet pants and vest over a red shirt. And the most important accessory, a nice tie to match the outfit.

“Hey, Matthias! It’s a pleasure to meet you!” You forcefully shook his hand, never breaking the eye contact. Man, this guy had mesmerizing eyes.

“Do you have a map? Because I got lost in your eyes.” Your smile disappeared in a second. Did he just…? You couldn’t believe it. This must have been one of the oldest pick-up lines in the book.

“What did I say?” came his respond when you started chuckling at his silliness, not at all the reaction he expected.

“Oh, Matthias. Wasn’t that cute?” You continued snickering and stretched your arm to ruffle his hair when your wrist got caught in midair.

“No touchey!” He exclaimed. “Do you know how long it takes to make my hairstyle look perfect?”

“Or how much hair gel you need?” After a moment of silence you both burst in laughter.

“You know what they say, [y/n]. Beauty has its costs.”

Your dad coughed awkwardly in the background, signaling you should head home. He surely wasn’t really pleased with the Dane sneaking that cheesy pick-up line or him even trying to flirt with his daughter. You could tell he was already regretting signing you up for this program. But you were glad he did. Matthias meant no harm, he was just silly and dorky. And you liked having someone to make stupid jokes with.

On your way home you were so close to driving your parents crazy, because both you and Matthias had a vast knowledge of puns and illogical jokes. Your father would have probably screamed at you if your mother didn’t propose listening to the news on the radio. Two presenters were expressing their opinions on the new decisions of the government, showing some common ideas.

“Hmm, I guess that the two presenters are on the same wavelength.” Matthias whispered and you couldn’t hold in the laughter. Unfortunately, the joke reached your father’s ears and that was nail in the coffin for him.

“That’s enough! Out of the car! Now!” Indeed, the vehicle stopped. Was he being serious?

“Woah, is this your house? It looks awesome!” Exclaimed the Dane and quickly jumped out of the car.

Well, you didn’t want to irritate your dad anymore, so you followed Matthias and went to show him around the house while your dad parked the car. After your mini tour of the home, you walked him to his room, so he could unpack. But as soon as you stepped into the room, he grabbed you by the waist and held you back.

“Hey, be careful there! You’d better direct your beauty somewhere else, or you’ll set the carpet on fire.” A wide grin appeared on his face whole you were struggling to get out of his grip.

“Matthias! Put me down before I’ll set your hair on fire!” You hissed at him, trying to throw a glare in his direction.

He giggled before letting you go, unaware of your dad’s stares from behind. After he turned to close the door, he literally jumped like six feet behind and started mumbling some apologetic words. Whatsoever, your dad was not impressed.

“So, could I get any directions?” The Dane inquired while turning a map of your city on all the possible directions.

“You don’t need a map since I am here, you know. I have lived in this city long enough to get you anywhere you’d like to go.” You stifled a chuckle.

“I was wondering if you could show me the way to your heart.” A bright blush spread across your face. How were you supposed to answer this? Flirt back or just brush it off in a cool way?

“I wish I could, but we might end both lost.” Matthias pouted like a little child and folded back the map.

“Okay, then how about we go to a bar and have some fun?”

"Ma…Matthias? Are you insane?”

“Nah, just crazy.”

“We can’t go to a bar? We are not even legally old enough to enter in such a place. Imagine what your parents would say! Oh my God… Imagine what mine would say…”

“Calm down, [y/n]. Haven’t you ever been curious about going to a bar?”

“Why? To see all the drunk people and barely dressed women. No thanks. I’m not even experienced with what such places are about.” You huffed. Why would he propose something like that?

One way or another, you still didn’t figure it out how he did it, he managed to drag you along with him, not to a bar, but to a pub, since to him it looked safer. You couldn’t tell the difference although. You weren’t even going to question how he got his hand on fake IDs. You were mentally slapping yourself for falling into his plan. What the hell were you thinking, [y/n]? Your parents will kill you.

“Matthias, we are so in trouble if they catch us!” You whispered to him while entering the pub.

“Which they will if you don’t play it cool. Come on, [y/n]! Chill a little! Have some fun!” He laughed it off.

After you took your seats, Matthias ordered two beers and a plate of French fries for you to munch on while talking. He wasn’t a bad guy at all, but you were questioning this decision. After an hour, you could say neither of you was sober anymore, but not that drunk to do stupid stuff or not be coherent anymore. Fortunately, you were able to hold your beer and Matthias looked like this wasn’t his first time drinking.

“You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.”

“Matthias, you’re drunk…”

“I’m not drunk. I’m just intoxicated by you…” You decided to ignore the last statement, more to his frustration. “I hope you know CPR, ‘cause you take my breath away.” He continued, though.

“Don’t worry, I have 112 on speed dial if anything were to happen.” Okay, maybe you weren’t handling his pick-up lines the way you wanted and you were afraid you might hurt him… Especially after you saw the pout on his face, this one much sadder than the one to convince you to go drinking with him. “I…I’m sorry… I… I’m just not used to people flirting with him.”

“Nah, no trouble. It’s okay…” His mood went so down you panicked you did something terribly wrong.

“It’s not because of you…” He took the last gulp of beer from the glass and turned to look into your eyes. He was so sad… and broken.

“Matthias… What happened? I’ve never seen you like this before. Oh God… I’m so sorry…” You took his hand in yours and started rubbing circles. “I might not be the best one when it comes to flirting, but I am a great listener…”

“I’m just tired…” He sighed you were gonna contradict him but he continued. “I always keep this smile on my face so people won’t see behind it. So they won’t notice how I really feel. I don’t want them to observe how broken or lonely I am… I despite myself sometimes so much, but I can’t let others see that. It will only make things worse… I must mask my feelings, I mustn’t show the world my weakness…” He plopped his head on his arms on the counter. “And now… Look at me… Complaining about how frail I am in front of you, the only person I really didn’t want to see me like this.”

“Matthias… You are anything but weak. You are the total opposite of that. You don’t even realize the strength you have, every day to wake up and put a smile on your face even if you feel like just breaking in tears. You are absolutely amazing! And I admire you. Don’t you ever think that people wouldn’t be worried about how you feel, or would just despite you. Think about your friends, Lukas, Tino, Berwald and Emil. From what you have told me, they really love you and care about you.” You brought his head up with your palms and brought it close to yours. “And then there’s me. It breaks my heart to see you like this. You are not frail or worthless. You are important, to them… to me. Keep on fighting, Matt…”

He brought you to his chest in a bear hug and whispered:

“Because of you, I laugh a little harder, cry a little less, and smile truthfully a lot more.”

“Of all the beautiful curves on your body, your smile is my favorite.” You replied, aware of his newly grin on his lips.

“I hate to do this to you, but the human biological needs are asking for priority.” You laughed while watching the Dane leaving to go to the toilet. You looked at the time. 8:15. Still 45 good minutes before you had to be back home. And it was also too early for any drunk freaks to start their fiasco.

“Hey there, babe. Are you feeling down? Because I could feel you up.” Oh man, weren’t you wrong? You decided to ignore the dude who was hitting on you, hoping he would lose interest and go away. “Oi, are you deaf or anything? I am talking to you?” Not such chance… He grabbed you by the shoulders and turned you to face him.

“Oh, I didn’t know pigs could talk! I was indeed wrong.” You spoke in a monotone voice.

“Are you making fun of me?”

“No. Your face does the whole work for me.” Okay, you knew this was gonna earn you a punch in the face. You saw his hand clenching in a fist and you waited for the impact. Which, however, didn’t happen.

“I’ll teach you how to treat a woman right, du skiderik*!” Matthias was holding the guy’s wrist and, with not too much effort, threw him across the floor. You covered your mouth not to let out your laughter, but you had to take action.

“Matthias, behind you!” He ducked just in time for his head to avoid being hit with a bottle. To help him, you got hold of one of the beer mug and threw it in the other dude’s face that was trying to attack your friend, due to the bartender’s amazement.

“This should do it!” The Dane threw some notes on the counter and then picked you up and excited the pub, leaving the angry drunks behind. “I bet you have never experienced something like this, have you?” He snickered, you still in his arms.

“Nope, and I really hope I won’t need to slap anyone with a mug again… Now, can you pretty please put me down?”

“The aesthetic of the please doesn’t interest me much. But I could make an exception for you.” He winked at you and left you on the ground. “I think we should get going. I don’t want your dad mad on me for not bringing you back on time.”

“Pray that we won’t make it to the news, Køhler! Otherwise I’ll have to kick your butt for your genius idea of going to a pub!” He didn’t answer, he only laughed and grabbed your hand.

“I like Legos, you like Legos, why don't we build a relationship?”
“Matthias…”