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fallacies — Dinner Connection
Published: 2003-04-07 19:45:20 +0000 UTC; Views: 498; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 18
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Description
Enraptured, embraced, enthralled watching lips,each word is savored by my mental eye.
It's tracing the folds, the scars and the tips
unwilling to let part of you sound by.
Pupils locking as we share each other,
weathered hands illustrating, you impart
a personal secret like my brother;
your rich humanity anneals my heart,
an unfiltered flow achieved by so few
I rejoice entwined in contact with you.
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Comments: 11
I wish you weren't retiring from DA, I love reading your stuff. This is a great, I love it. It's love with no cliche or sappiness. Awesome.
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"Pupils locking as we share each other"
best line ever
your so great dave. i like the mood, even tho i dont quite understand all your trying to say.
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What is this about retiring? I hope that doesn't mean that I won't get to read anymore of your stuff on here. I really enjoy it all. This peice is really beautiful and it sort of dances with a flowing rythm.
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This is succinctly good. I do happen to like the bit about the brother, but that might be due to the fact that I feel that way at times. This is well written and by all means, not crap.
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i have to agree with darkskada about the brother reference, "you impart a personal secret like my brother; your rich humanity anneals my heart" that whole section i'm not too keen on, otherwise another very well written poem.
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I think the comparrison to a brother interrupts the flow, but other than that.... You never cease to amaze me with your brilliant imagery. I especially like the adjective "weathered" to describe the hands.
~ Catrina ~
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