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There wasn't a car in the driveway. Safe.

"Wait here," I said, motioning for Destri to wait for me on the porch. If I was staying over at Destri's house for this long, I might as well grab some clothes so I don't keep borrowing his. Or wearing my own repeatedly. Ew.

I pushed open the door just wide enough to fit myself through. Silence was filling my ears to the brim as I jumped up the long winding staircase that circled the high-ceiling entryway. The door to my bare white room was open, and I shuffled into it, taking note of everything I should pack. Maybe I should just take all my stuff. It's not like I've got much anyway, a computer, some clothes, my bag, shower stuff, eyeliner, hair gel, shoes... All of it can fit in my one duffel bag. So I walked around the room, picking up all the stray items and reaching under the low bed to grab the black bag. Everything fit nicely, all organized and neat. I stood and swung it over my shoulder, looking around to make sure I'd gotten everything. Yep. All good.

I was halfway down the stairs when she came out of the master bedroom.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I whirled around to see her at the edge of the railing at the top of the stairs, her eyebrows furrowed in complete and total anger directed at me. It's always like this. That disappointed look, followed by hate. Real hatred. My body wouldn't move, I was frozen in terror. "I've told you so many damn times, you can't come home when I'm here! What do you think's different about this time?"

"T-there wasn't a car," I whispered. She looks like she could seriously kill me right now.

"Yeah well, maybe you shouldn't come home EVER, got it?" Her obviously bleached, curly blonde hair hung around her face, blowing in her yells. I winced, and then I realized.

"Are you kicking me out?"

"Of course she is." A tall, tan, burly man in only some pants walked out of the bedroom and embraced her, kissing her head. I haven't seen him before. She didn't relax in his arms, still glaring at me with such rage. He turned from her to glare at me as well. "She said get out. So you get your little ass out of here as fast as you can."

And I did just that, because she was stumbling hurriedly down the stairs towards me, never taking her eyes off my throat, I think. I walked backwards down the stairs away from her, missing one that had me sprawled on the ground below her. Arg, my head is throbbing. But the look in her eyes so intense that I don't even notice. "I don't want you coming back. I don't want to see your face ever again. Now get the hell out of my house, damn you!"

She lunged at me and shoved me against the door. I pulled my bag up and just managed to open the door and shut it before a lamp was hurled at me. It slammed hard against the door, crashing hard even before the door had closed, and was followed by an infuriated scream. All I could think was, Get out, get out...

Destri was standing just where I'd left him, but staring at me and with tense shoulders. Like he was about to run. But I couldn't move.

I've been kicked out.

"You ok?"

Destri somehow teleported in front of me. His eyes were so dark against cloud-white skin. Have I ever noticed this before? "She kicked me out." I guess I never really lived here anyway. "At least I got my wallet while I was in there."

"...You can stay at my place." And I was being hugged really tightly. That's when it sank in. Just all this stress, from Jeff, from the pain he's causing. That I have no home. That she hates me. That she never loved me. She didn't even like me, and she's my own mom. The only person that tolerated me was Destri. Thank God.

And Jeff. At least I'm useful to him.

"Let's go home, ok? I'll get you a monster on the way there." I nodded and let him pull me by my sleeve down the porch steps and down the sidewalk. I don't have a home, I thought desperately. I felt the tears pricking at my eyes and eventually falling off my nose. They were comforting in a way, letting me know that I could still feel something. Because right now I felt so fricking numb. Like my brain just shut down because it can't handle everything.

"Hey." Destri's hugging me again and I'm wiping my eyes and not caring. I can't feel anything and even so I'm crying like no tomorrow. I'm noticing everything. He smells so good. Like vanilla and twizzlers. And that the edges of his hair need cutting. One of my tears drips off my nose and onto his neck. His arms are holding me in a death grip, rubbing back and forth soothingly over the scars on my back. "It's fine. You're fine."

But I'm not.