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"I'm not used to having people in my room."

I looked up from the smoky-black cat on my chest to Kaoru on his bed. His room is HUGE, and painted an industrial grey with light blue accents. The curtains covering his two long windows are blue, his dresser and nightstand are blue, even his bedsheets are a blue and green design. Then there are the vibrant colours of his artwork littering the walls in a path of oranges, greens, reds, blacks, purples, and all the colours imaginable. I'm laying on the plush blue carpet with his cat, Travis, purring on my chest, and other cats roaming about the room. Kaoru is hanging off the side of his bed in a much less formal outfit now that dinner was over, staring intently at me as I pet Travis. Everything was calm, serene. What does it say about me when I feel safer in a mansion full of vampires than in my own house?

"The last non-family member I had up here was Christian," he continued, still staring at me upside-down. "I met him 30 years ago. He was my best friend. But he died in a train crash."

Suddenly I was very aware of the past. Of the fact that time had stopped for Kaoru in this room ever since Christian had last been in it. And that every time he entered this room, it probably feels the exact same as it did to enter it the day after this Christian died. I was understanding how awful it must have been to feel that way every night before sleeping, to see his face in every dream, in a place that should be safe and comforting.

"Yeah," he breathed out in response to my unsaid thoughts. "But you're starting time again."

And after that we just lay in the silence of cat meows and our shallow breathing.

Do you think time has meaning?

"You mean like memories?" he asked, sliding off his bed to join me on the floor. "Or time as in everything we call 'now'?"

Kaoru's pale hand came into view, reaching over to pet Travis. His purrs reverberated through my chest. I don't know... I guess some of what we call "now" turns into memories, and yeah, I think memories definitely have meaning, considering they're the last things we think about before death. But... because memories were once "now", and eventually end up meaning something, does that mean that "now" means something when it happens?

He didn't answer, so I continued. And what makes a memory mean something? Because it may mean a whole lot to you, but I don't even remember it because I don't think it's worth remembering. So do all memories mean something then? Is every memory equal to the other? What about times that aren't remembered? Are they of no importance anymore?

Thousands of questions pounded through my head and I stared at Kaoru's far-away ceiling like the answers were there, out of my reach. I could feel his light breathing beside me as his hand rubbed between the cat's ears, thinking over our conversation.

"...I don't know," he finally said, "but I do know I'll be too busy thinking about it to sleep tonight."

There was that peaceful silence for a few minutes as I contemplated over what we'd said.

"No, I think time 'now', as it happens, can have meaning," he began again with enthusiasm. "It has the potential to have meaning. But some people don't bother to realize that. They just live it like it's always going to be there, and that isn't living at all. But others learn to savour some moments, to hold on to time 'now', whatever it is, before it slips away and they then have it as a memory. Like..."

I heard him shifting around beside me, and then his whole head came in my sights, hovering over me. His face was shadowed, but even then I could see his bright yellowy eyes, like Travis', and the tinge of red in his cheeks. He hesitated for a second, inches from my face, before interrupting my would-be confused question by pressing his lips gently to mine.

For the entirety of our connection, I was frozen in place. Chills journeyed through my body, spreading from the ice-cold of Kaoru's lips. I felt sparks of ice flying through our lightly-touching lips, painful and pleasant at the same time, a mixture of emotionless emotions racing through my head. I was conscious of everything, from Travis' increased purrs, to the sensations of my body, to the sensations running from Kaoru's body into mine, to the feeling of the carpet against my back, to the pale of Kaoru's face, to the contrast of his orange hair, to the colours of his art dotting the walls, to... everything.

And then Kaoru lifted his head and we separated. The feeling dulled, but remained churning in the pit of my stomach. His golden eyes, still so close I could see the bottomless cavern of his pupils, stared into mine incredulously. Then he lowered himself back to his original position by my side.

"You felt that, right?" he whispered, his breath over my tingling ear.

Yeah.

"I'm pretty sure we just gave that 'now' meaning."

I smiled up into his ceiling. Yeah.