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His body heat spread a pins-and-needles feeling across my skin, but my shock numbed my senses for a few heart-stopping moments as my thoughts raced. All the horror stories Hamir has recounted to me of vampires in heat literally burning from the inside out surfaced to mind. Luckily he informed me of some medicine a friend of his had created. I knew he kept them in his bathroom cabinet.

Must. Get. That. Medicine.

I shakily rubbed Ivan’s side that currently trapped me to the floor. “Ivan.”

No response. His breathing remained the same heavy level, head buried close to my neck to better inhale my scent.

Hamir said once that wolfmen cared only about the safety of their mates while in heat. Perhaps this could play to my advantage. I was by this time getting a little frantic, fearing the pain that, according to Ivan, should be coursing through me at any minute. “Ivan, I will hurt immensely soon if you do not help me.”

He immediately pulled back and gazed at me in confusion, a low growl emanating from his throat but not speaking. Brown eyes had become black and shadowed by the dim lighting of the living room. I raised a hand to press it against his cheek softly. “I need to go upstairs to Hamir’s bathroom to search for medicine that will stop me from burning.”

Ivan furrowed his dark brows into an angry scowl and pulled me closer. I was supported under my neck and waist off the ground and into his chest. “Where?” he growled. I directed him up the stairs to the farthest door. He stood with me in his arms and started up the stairs. However on the fourth step, he got distracted by my scent and just stood still to kiss my neck gently. After a few minutes of attempting to redirect his attention, we finally made it to the bathroom. He would not set me down, so I reached out with one arm to open the mirror door. Inside were many bottles of medicine in both pill and liquid form- but a small box of white cardboard caught my eye. On the top read “Heat Patches”, and I knew it held what I needed. As if on cue, a wave of nausea and warmth hit me with the strength of a shotgun.

After some more worry-filled and stuttered guidance, Ivan rested me on Hamir’s bed to allow me to read the instructions, but kept his hands on my hips as he knelt before me. His constant gaze was somewhat distracting. Luckily I managed to rip the box open and grab three of the clear patches of the hundred stacked neatly within. My shaky fingers struggled to peel the backs off until Ivan took them from me and did it with ease. He lifted my right arm and pulled up my shirt to reach up through the long sleeve with the patch. At the sight of my skin, he did not hesitate to lean close and run his nose along my flesh. This horny wolf could not stay focused! Just as I was about to reprimand him, I noticed that his breath did not burn me anymore. In fact, it felt cooler, chilly like a soft wind.

“Ivan, please,” I whispered, running a hand through his hair. If I had a pulse, it would be “shooting through the roof”, as they say. He shook his head and finally placed one of the patches on my skin, on the underside of my forearm. Against each patch he placed a kiss, nuzzling into me.

At that moment Hamir walked through the door with his car keys and a tired frown. However as soon as he spotted us, he sighed in frustration. “Please, not on my bed.” He shook his head in disappointment. My mate had not seemed to notice him yet, but when he approached us in the dark Ivan growled ferociously, tense against my stomach. Hamir tutted in disapproval. “I do not need to hear the violence of your fornication tonight.”

I stared in shock at my master’s smirk, feeling my face redden. “Hamir!”

He sighed again and motioned for us to follow him out of the room. “Neither of you are in any shape to drive, and you are certainly not staying here.” I pulled Ivan’s head from my stomach and whispered to him about following Hamir, then taking his keys from his pocket and throwing them to my master. We exited the house after him quite slowly, just in time to see Jacob get out of his car. His eyes widened when he saw our positioning. “Follow us,” Hamir said as he passed Jacob to get to Ivan’s car. “I need someone to drive me back.”

So Ivan ever-so-carefully stepped into the car with me still in his arms. After Hamir shut the door, he resettled into our original arrangement on the seats as we had on the floor in the house. I was trapped under his body and his head lay deep in the crook of my neck. Several times throughout the car ride to Ivan’s pack lands, a heat wave would take over my body, slightly stronger than each previous. By the time the car slowed to a halt I was whimpering in pain and Ivan cradled me gently, nuzzling my face to calm me. As the pain became worse, his scent and the feel of his skin, his closeness, did indeed ease the sharp edge of the heat. The door clicked open and the night air soothed me a little. I felt myself being carried out, but my eyes screwed shut in in pain.

“Humans should only have three patches per day,” I heard Hamir state from somewhere in front of us. I groaned when I experienced another pain-filled shudder, causing Ivan to whine sympathetically and tug me even closer to him. “However because our bodies react so slowly, the limit for vampires is no more than 12 a day. You should replace his patches every 6 hours. Do not forget, or his pain will increase exponentially.” The squeak of a door, then we entered the house and it closed behind us.

My body spasmed at another wave. I clawed at Ivan’s shirt and arched my back in pain, holding back a yelp. I was in no condition to observe our surroundings, but I felt Ivan move through the house up a flight of stairs. Soon we lay back on a soft comforter and my shirt was being removed. I opened my eyes in panic and held my hands to his chest. “I have not done anything sexual in many years,” I said through clenched teeth. I feared that in his hazy and crazed state he could not properly understand me. “Just… Please just… I am not sure if-“

He interrupted me with a grunt, pressing his nose to mine and staring me dead in the eyes. “Though the animal in me wants to fuck your brains out…” He let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes. I could smell the lust emanating from his body. “…I would never do something that you didn’t want to. Do you?”

I sighed. So much for getting to know each other before mating. And what a vulgar name for something that is meant to be so beautiful. The unifying of two persons to bond as one, the creation of new life, all reduced to such a meaningless word. That was one of the reasons I had separated from my previous lover: so often he used terms that made me feel as though I were just a toy- an object required for quick and easy pleasure, nothing more. “I- Ah!” Another stomach clenching fit of solar-like heat and pain. If that is how my mate sees our physical connection… My mood fouled even more at this thought. “Whatever our endeavours come to,” I managed, nearly screaming in pain.

Ivan tried to calm me by pressing soft kisses to my face, every so often marking my lips. His hands reached down to undo my pants, followed quickly by my boxers. He then removed his own clothes, but all embarrassment left my mind when another wave of intense and almost unbearable heat swept through me. He turned me onto my stomach and I couldn’t help but feel so disappointed- mainly in myself for not voicing my dislike. “Because a child-bearing area is still in the process of forming, there is no need to use protection if you so desire.” Frigid tears streamed down my face, both from pain and self-hate. My fingers curled into the covers and my body tensed as I released another yelp. A flashback surfaced to mind- rough and unpleasant intercourse, violent and painful and… bloody.

Calloused fingers roamed my back, sending pleasing shivers down my spine. He continued as though I had said nothing. “I want to scent-roll you. It’ll help your pain and mark us as belonging to each other. Is that ok?” I sighed in relief and nodded, gritting my teeth against yet another heat wave. His nose buried into my hair and inhaled. His closeness eased the warm feeling quite a bit. I could barely see anything in the unlit room. All my senses focused completely on the sound of Ivan’s laboured breathing, his musky and canine scent soothing my frantic mind and calming me effectively. He held himself up with his hands on either side of my face and lay his body down completely on mine. Immediately any worry or fear or pain I previously had disappeared the instant our skin met. He rubbed his face against my neck, slowly and sensually. A low grumbling hum full of pride hit my now-sensitive ears. I returned it with a happy hum when he rubbed his skin all over my back, melding our scents together. His hips ground into my rear, his powerful legs hugged mine, his toned stomach dipped forcefully into my back.

After several minutes of this, I was nearly half asleep. The building pain had exhausted me like never before, and this may have just been a massage. My eyes shut involuntarily. Ivan’s short groans acted as a lullabye. He flipped me gently over and once again lay on my body, hands running up my sides while he peppered kisses along my jaw. I could barely reciprocate, just occasionally pecking his nose when it came close enough. The kisses became a little rougher until he sucked on my neck hard enough to bruise. As I fell into a fitful sleep and felt the sharp sting of extended canines pricking my neck where my pulse would be, I wished for many things:

A. that Ivan would not suck me dry.

B. that I would wake up without feeling regret.

C. that this damned heat would pass soon, because I am so intensely drained.