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You call us monsters.

You call us the stuff of nightmares.

You call us insane beasts incapable of feeling any emotion.

But I contend that we are more sane than you. You are a people possessed by fear, your image of us tainted by the countless books, movies, and games dedicated to what you always knew were mindless drones thirsting for bloodshed. We, however, have no fear because we have already passed from life into death and have emerged alive. When not even death can touch you, what is there to fear and cloud your mind?

But should you need physical confirmation, I will tell you this: most of your technology is still functioning. It should be no trouble to take a look at some pictures from your satellites and see that we do not live in a desolate wasteland, but instead have created a functioning society. Already, the beginnings of a government are being proposed. Mindless drones, indeed.

This must come as a shock to you, learning that what you thought was true is false. But we have all been wrong at least once in our lives, some of us even in death. Perhaps even now, you still think of yourselves as the heroes of this story, hanging on as the last bastions of humanity. But you aren't the heroes. If anything, we are. We are cleaning up the mess that humanity left behind in its rush to only consider the present and never the future. But as we are functionally immortal, we have no such luxury. We must consider the future because we will be living in it. And so it is with us, not you, that this world will be made into all that it can be.

So why do I tell you this? The last remaining humans are already being gathered together to be swept up and replaced within the month. It should hardly be worth the effort to contact those who are soon to join us.

Or is it?

As of my writing, you are killing us (attempting to, at least) as fast as you can in an attempt to cling to your mortality. This letter is to help you understand and stop the needless slaughter. Do we want to harm you? No. Is pain a needed step to join us on the other side of death? Absolutely not, and we prefer bloodless conversions due to how often secondary infections occur when one is bitten. In short, we are not here to maximize suffering, but to end it.

But this also serves a second purpose. When our war is over, communication will still be needed, and my writing and eventual sending of this letter will serve as a test run of the restored system. A nice bonus, isn’t it?

I hope that our point has been sufficiently made. We are the heroes here, building a better world from the ashes of the old. You are a fierce but ultimately foolish and doomed barrier to progress. So in a spirit of goodwill, we request that you turn over your brains for proper consumption. It’ll save us all a lot of trouble.

Cordially,

The Zombies