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It’s raining.

Of course it’s raining. It’s raining hard, water sloshing up Raph’s calves as he runs down the alley, careening past dumpsters and fire escapes, bags of trash and old bicycles leaning against building walls. Mud-puddles, litter-strewn cement underfoot, and God-knows-what-else, but Raph doesn’t even notice.

He runs faster than he’s ever run before, legs churning in the wet as he heads the direction he last saw Leo, one brief glimpse before more Foot came at them and he had to focus-

-The direction he’d seen Karai slink away in, her golden eyes suspiciously shuttered.
…The direction from which that faint cry had wafted to his ears.

It- it didn’t sound like- it couldn’t have been-
-Only, the more he replays it in his mind, the more it sounds like his name.

“…Raph…!”

Faster. Faster. It couldn’t have been, it wasn’t-

The alley ends abruptly, dumping him out in the open, and he slides to a halt, chest heaving as he stares at- Leo, lying on the-

His mind goes blank.

“What’s a turtle without his shell?” Karai asks, quiet, turning away from Leo’s body on the concrete. Raph can’t even look at her, oblivious to everything except that one sight, burning itself into his retinas so he’ll never be able to forget.

“I’m going to kill you,” he hears someone say, and realizes belatedly that it’s him. He hardly recognizes his own voice, so very icy-calm. “It’s going to be me who cuts out your heart.”

Karai gives a shrug, as if she expects nothing less. “I know,” she says, and Raph might have thought she was looking forward to it if he wasn’t so distracted, so frozen where he stands. She watches him for a moment and then vanishes on a whisper of wind that murmurs I’m sorry…or maybe it’s just the wind. Maybe it’s just the sound of his heart, pounding in his ears; he’ll never know for sure. Not that he cares, especially as he creeps closer and sees what she’s done-

There are a multitude of cuts and scrapes all over his brother’s body, most of them from the ongoing Foot ambush they all walked into earlier. None of that means anything, but one of Leo’s swords, driven through his leg, certainly does; the other juts out of his shoulder. And the jagged hunk of shell, torn away and discarded beside him, and the pool of blood spreading out beneath him, and Karai’s knife, wedged in his back- That’s her final message, a metaphor for betrayal so complete that for a second Raph can see nothing but red, rage welling up from the depths of his being.

Then Leo stirs, shifting in a pool of crimson-and-rain, and everything else is forgotten.

Raph is next to him in an instant, kneeling in that gruesome pool and propping his brother up against him. “Leo, Leo, can you hear me? Hey- no, don’t move yet, just stay still, alright?” Clenching his jaw, he pulls the sword from Leo’s thigh, forcing himself to ignore how the other turtle goes rigid against him. The blade in Leo’s shoulder doesn’t come so easily; it’s been stabbed in at an angle, reaching all the way through to the back of Leo’s shell, and when Raph finally wrenches it free, it comes out in two broken shards.

Leo moans, high-pitched and pained in the back of his throat, and Raph’s hands are shaking. “S-Sorry, I had to- It’s over now, I’m done, you’re- you’re gonna be okay-”

-And that’s when he sees the gash in Leo’s chest.

Oh God.

He isn’t sure how it was made; perhaps another sword-inflicted wound before both were used as stick-pins, or maybe Karai’s longer knife…? Whatever the method, it’s long, and deep, more like a fissure than anything, slicing right through the tough (but not shell-tough) plastron that stretches from sternum to pelvis.

Deep enough to reach- oh- that’s where all the blood came from-

GodnoGodnonononono-

“-R-Raph-?”
He catches a sob between his teeth, trying to choke it back. “I’m h-here, I’m right here, you’re gonna be fine, you’re gonna be okay, I prom-” all that blood- “-I p-promise.” His voice is shaking now too, and Leo is trembling, slowly blinking deep blue eyes in the rain falling from above.

“…I guess…I was pretty…s-stupid, huh?” the older sibling whispers, barely audible, and Raph eases him closer, wrapping both arms around him more securely. “Trust…trusting Karai like…that… Y-You kept t-telling me…not to, but I didn’t…didn’t listen…did I…?” He huffs faintly, one corner of his mouth tilting up a little. “…So…naïve…”

“No,” Raph grits, shaking his head. “-Well, yeah, but that’s not a bad thing, it’s what makes you so, so good, always believing the best in people…” His eyes travel down against his will, tracing the path of injuries severe, and the lump in his throat swells in size. “Le- Leo-” The elder coughs (Raph can hear it rattle in Leo’s lungs), and blood oozes over his lips, mocking as it slides past his chin. This can’t be happening, it can’t- He wipes away the scarlet trail, shaking his head back and forth. “It’s gonna be okay,” he mumbles for the umpteenth time, and pretends that he’s not trying to convince anyone. This can’t be happening…

“Hey, Raph…listen…I guess…I should’ve s-said this…earlier, but-” Leo stops, panting a little, and one hand reaches out, quaking just like Raph’s; Raph latches on like it’s his lifeline (shouldn’t it be the other way ‘round?), trio of fingers intertwining. “-I’m so proud of you, Raph.”

Tears well up, burning behind his eyelids as he blinks furiously, shaking his head in further denial. “No,” he grinds out. “No, don’t say that, you can’t say that-”

“Shh,” Leo whispers, squeezing his hand weakly, and Raph bites his tongue, falls silent. “Just- just l-listen, okay? You’re- you’ve grown…so much…matured…you’ve always had my…back, and I’m so proud…” The tears are escaping now, he can’t even make himself care, and Leo squeezes his hand again, the touch of attempted comfort. “…You’ll…be an awesome leader…Raph.”

The younger brother jerks as if he’s been slapped. “NO!” he shouts, and then subsides quickly as Leo grimaces in pain. “No, just- don’t talk anymore, try to save your strength-”

Leo sighs, though it’s thicker than it should be and laced with blood. “You’ll…look out for Donnie…and Mikey…won’t you…? Keep them…safe…”

“I can’t-!” He doesn’t quite swallow the sob this time, and it echoes alongside Leo’s shallow breathing. “I can’t do this without you, I can’t, we need you, I- I need you, please-”

“Raph…” A gentle murmur, hazed blue eyes searching for him.

“I’m here,” he cries, cupping Leo’s face in his hands. “I’m right here, I promise, I’m going to save you, I’m going to get help-”

“…I love you, Raph.”

And the world slows to a crawl.

There’s a moment where Leo is tense against him, breaths hard and fast, brow wrinkled in pain, and Raph feels air grow stale in his own lungs, any words frozen to ice on his lips as he watches the scene play out before him. Then the shade of agony passes, and his older brother sighs again, thinner, fainter.

“I love you…”

And the sighs cease.

The body he knows better than his own relaxes, going soft and limp on his chest, and Leo’s head comes to its rest on his shoulder. His wounds no longer bleed. Those blue eyes are lidded, as if in sleep.

Raph stares.

“Leo, please…”

The tears stream once more, unheeded, and the sobs are low and harsh behind his ribcage, but all Raph knows is the feel of his big brother in his arms, the gentle press of Leo’s cheek against his skin. And he curls inward on that feeling, tucking his face into Leo’s neck and folding the other turtle close to him, so close.

Donnie and Mikey will find him soon. There will be more tears and curses and grief to swallow all else. But for now he just wants to be alone, here with the one person he’s always followed, never doubted, forever trusted.

It’s raining.

“…I love you too, Leo.”

~~~~~~

“-LEO!”

The eldest turtle started out of deep slumber at the sound of that hoarse scream, his name. It was a disorienting way to wake up, and for a moment he just lay there, blinking at the ceiling, wondering if he’d dreamed- But when Leo glanced over at the bed’s other occupant, he found Raph rigid at his side, everything about him tight and contorted, with eyes squeezed shut and mouth twisted in a grimace. He hadn’t imagined it then, Raph shrieking his name in terror.

“Raph? Hey, Raph, what’s-” He stopped as his sibling cried out again, hoarse and bleeding grief; concern pushed its way out from under the lingering layers of sleep, sharpening his focus. “Raph, what’s wrong? Are you- hey, are you listening to me?” The younger turtle shuddered, curling in on himself even further, and Leo put out a hand, reaching for him. The instant he brushed a shoulder, though, Raph’s eyes flew open (red-rimmed green), and he lurched upright, shoving Leo away from him.

“Don’t touch me!” he yelled, cringing back. “You’re- you’re not- Stay away from me, just-”

“What in the world…?” Leo queried, bewildered. “I’m just trying to help- Are you okay? Raph? What-”

“YOU’RE DEAD!” Raph shouted, eyes narrowed to tear-filled emerald slits. Leo gaped at him, frozen.

“…Wh…What…?” His little brother choked out a harsh sob, and Leo sat up all the way, banishing his own confusion. There were times when it was okay for him to admit he didn’t know what was going on, and then there were times when he had to put that aside and be the leader his family needed. Apparently, here in bed with Raph, in the middle of the night, was one of those times. Because Raph definitely needed him.

“Raph, I’m right here,” he said, not trying to touch his sibling a second time (as much as he wanted to). Having Raph’s hysteria morph into all-out rage was not on his priority list. “Do you hear me? I’m fine, I’m here with you.”

The other turtle shook his head violently, eyes squeezed tightly shut again. “N-No, you’re- you’re not real, I’m j-just imagining- I saw you, you were-” The sound he made in his throat was high-pitched and desperate mourning, and Leo wanted to cry just listening to it.

“Raph. Look at me. I’m here, just- just look!” His patience evaporated so quickly, lashed with the need to snap Raph out of it, and he grabbed his brother’s chin, jerking it toward him. “I’m real!” Those green eyes opened to regard him, spilling tears down Raph’s face, and Leo couldn’t breathe. “Raph…”

“…You died in my arms,” Raph said, voice low. “Bled out right in front of me, just stopped breathing while I was holding you, whispered my name and…you were gone.” And he looked right through Leo, like he really wasn’t there, just a figment of sorrowful delirium. Leo released Raph’s chin, arm dropping slowly to his lap.

Why can’t you see me?

(“Leo, please…”)

It doesn’t matter, you know. It’s not like I’m going to leave you here, wandering in the dark.

Before he even had a chance to think it through, he was moving, snatching up one of Raph’s hands and-

-Biting it. Hard.

Raph gave a shocked yelp, jerking backwards in surprise. “What the-!?”

Leo glared at him. “When’s the last time your imagination bit you, huh?” he demanded, and watched as dark pupils contracted, Raph staring at him as if seeing him for the first time.

“…Leo…?”

Maybe he was. Maybe-

Leo grunted as Raph practically tackled him into the pillows, arms wrapped tight around his neck and pulling him close. Somehow, though, the fact that he could barely breathe didn’t seem to matter while he was hugging Raph back just as tight. Thank goodness. “It’s okay, you’re fine, everything’s fine, I’m here…” he murmured over and over, a gentle mantra in his sibling’s ears.

“You are real,” was all Raph said, and cried long and hard in the circle of Leo’s arms.

~~~~~~

Two sets of feet, shuffling in the dark, two pairs of eyes peering through a tiny slit of light in a door left ever-so-slightly ajar.

“What’s going on? Why’s Raph holding Leo like that?” Mikey hissed, his stage-whisper loud in the empty hallway. Before Donnie could either shush him or try to formulate an answer, there were two insistent hands drawing them away from that crack in the door.

“It is late, Michelangelo, Donatello. You should return to your room and leave your brothers in peace.” Splinter guided them back down the hall, tall and sure between them, but Donnie could still hear Raph’s sobs echoing in the hollow space. He bit his lip, looking up at his father.

“Is Raph going to be alright, Sensei?” the third brother asked worriedly. Splinter was silent for a moment, perhaps also listening to what Donnie heard.

“Yes,” he said finally. “With time.”

“And pizza!” Mikey chimed in.

Shaking his head, Donnie must not have looked convinced because the rat patted his shoulder reassuringly. “Do not worry, Donatello. Leonardo is with him.”
~~~~~~

“It was a dream,” Raph whispered into Leo’s collarbone. “A dream…?”

“It was just a dream,” Leo confirmed, and Raph felt him press closer, solid and warm and yes, real, thank god. The relief was strong enough to make him dizzy. “Everything’s fine,” the elder murmured, squeezing one of his hands; the touch took him back (“…You’ll…be an awesome leader…Raph.”) in a flash, and Raph inhaled sharply.

“It was Karai,” he said, short and harsh. “She’s the one who- who-”

“-A dream,” Leo reemphasized, voice firm.

“It was so real,” Raph said, staring past Leo’s shoulder like he was seeing it all over again. “The things she did to you- She took your swords and-” He grabbed Leo’s shoulder in a sudden death grip, yanking the other turtle forward so their foreheads almost bumped. “You need to stay away from her, Leo. She’s dangerous!”

“All our enemies are dangerous, Raph,” Leo reminded him wryly. “Besides…I don’t think Karai could ever actually get my swords.”

Raph’s glare was black and distinctly not amused. “She pinned you by a leg and a shoulder with those swords, and then literally stabbed you in the back. A-and the f-front-” A tiny part of him was embarrassed to feel tears resurfacing, but… That morbid gash down Leo’s chest hovered in his mind’s eye, steadily seeping life-force without care, and he just couldn’t- “There was so much blood everywhere, and you…” He was going to lose it. Again.

Leo grimaced. “Sorry,” he said rather shamefacedly. “I’m sorry, please- Raph, don’t, it’s okay-”

“I lost you, Leo,” Raph whispered. “You were right in front of me, and I couldn’t do anything to save you. You just…slipped away.”

“I’m not slipping away,” Leo said fiercely, holding the younger’s green-eyed gaze. “I’m not going anywhere.” He pulled Raph to him, their limbs entangled where they lay sprawled across the bed; with his head resting against Leo’s chest, Raph could hear the muted beat of Leo’s heart through the smooth hardness of his shell. “…You’ll never lose me…” his big brother said softly. Closing his eyes and letting Leo’s calm pulse soothe him, Raph could believe it was true.

Far above his head came a faint sound of running water, trickling streams running through the labyrinth of pipes that led down into the sewers from the streets of Manhattan. Oh, Raph thought as he drifted off to sleep with the gentle dripping in his ears. It’s raining.

It’s raining.

Of course it’s-