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XOXOXOX
I groaned when I felt myself waking up. I groaned because suddenly a sharp pain reminded me of how human I was. And no, this sharp pain was nowhere near my heart like the last time I felt sharp pains. This pain, was throbbing oh so painfully on my face.
“Here, don’t move.” A familiar feminine voice said and I turned my head sideways, I was apparently lying down on my bed (how did I get here?), to meet Melai’s eyes as she held a soft hand towel filled with ice to place it upon where it hurt.
“Melai?’ I asked confusedly, trying to get up but Melai just pushed me down. “How did I get here? What happened?”
Melai, after making a big show of placing the ice on my cheek, (it helped wonderfully), looked at me seriously before flashing me a small grin. “ Are you sure, there’s nothing between you and Bench?”
Now that was totally random. “What? Are you still harping on about that? Whatever makes you say those things, I cannot imagine.” I scoff, completely forgetting that my cheek was on fire and I flinched at the after pain.
“Because,” Santi said totally startling me that he was also there in the room. “Your apparent gay friend did a fantastic job of being your Prince Charming with your little spat with the demon spawn.” He was seated on my other side, legs folded neatly, Wayfarers still on, and thin line where his lips were supposed to be.
I tried to remember what had happened, but I apparently blacked out when I stood in front of Bench to receive Jan’s blow and I didn’t see what happened after. I looked back at my friends before replying.
“Can you guys say Prince Eric?” I asked.
“What?” Melai asked and she looked at me as if she was wondering if my brain was addled because of the punch.
I bit back a smile. “Well Santi said Bench was being my Prince Charming in the whole Jan fight. I was wondering if instead of Prince Charming, you could say Prince Eric. Prince Charming is so generic whereas Eric had more lines than any normal Disney Prince and he had a name as well as character. I’d rather much like it if your analogies with Bench would invoke a person with more character.” I smiled at them.
Melai gave a breathless laugh while Santi just shook her head. “Typical Liv.” They both said and I was pleased to find that they were somehow being civil with each other.
“So,” I broached the topic, struggling to sit up again. This time I waved Melai off and Santi had leaned forward to help me. “What happened?”
Melai and Santi exchanged glances before Melai nodded faintly. My eyes were going back and forth between the two of them, trying to read between the lines of their body language, but before I could do so, Santi had removed his Wayfarers to look at me.
“What happened?” I asked again and I was more than a little bit afraid of what to hear. Did Jan hurt Bench? Was Bench angry with me for talking to Jan?
Quietly, Santi related all the events of what happened after I passed out to me, trying to lay it to me as gentle as possible, as if gauging my reactions. I was quiet, I was patient, and I was shocked.
I could not believe Bench stood up for me like that. Out of all people, I wouldn’t thought Bench would be willing enough to help me through a situation where it could involve a fist fight, and I had a hard time imagining it. It had taken me enough effort to keep my brother and friends away from interfering that I didn’t think Bench would even consider it.
I had not seen him look like that in a long while. His face closed off and so serious, like that night when Jan and I had that big fight and he said those awful things to me and Bench had come in and comforted me. His voice was also deeper then, that it sounded almost alien to my ears and if it weren’t for the fact that I was still very much pissed off at Jan I would have just stood there and listened to Bench talk in that voice.
After Santi finished with “Kuya Viggo drove you home before the fight was finished and we came after when Bench left,” I looked around.
“Where’s Bench?” I asked and again I saw Melai and Santi exchange glances.
“Well, we wanted you to rest a bit.” Melai started hesitatingly, and Melai never hesitates. “We didn’t think it was a good idea if people crowded your room too much.”
Santi just nodded, placing back his Wayfarers now that he was finished with his speech.
“Bench is not a crowd.” I said somewhat confused. “Is he angry with me or something?” I asked my voice soft.
Yeah, I could understand that. Though Bench and I frequently saw things eye to eye, there were times when we fought, usually over the most stupid things, but it would be a while before it blew over. I could immediately tell Bench wouldn’t be too happy with the situation. After all we just watched the play of which he was the star, his usual diva self wouldn’t really appreciate me from stealing the spotlight with that scandalous fight at the parking lot.
“Why would you think that?” Santi asked, his voice generally surprised. I looked up then.
“He isn’t angry?” I asked doubtfully and Melai exchanged glances with Santi again.
“He isn’t angry at you, Liv.” Melai said patiently which made me more confused.
“Who’s he angry with then?”
“Himself.” Santi said rather dryly.
“What?” I asked more than a bit surprised. “Bench never blames himself. You must have the wrong person or something.” I looked from one friend to the other. “Bench is always quick to blame other people over the smallest little things, like when he wears a different pair of socks. It’s Bench. I don’t think he’s angry at himself.” I smiled encouragingly at my friends, trying to make them admit that they must be joking.
Melai and Santi, meanwhile just let out identical sighs before Melai reached over and grabbed my hand. “Enough about Bench at the moment.” She said seriously, and I felt my grin fade.
Melai looked at me seriously, her face and eyes sombre. “Liv, I want you to tell me something,” she started and I had to prevent myself from gulping out loud.
“If I know what it is.” I answered truthfully. This time the glance Melai and Santi exchanged was getting annoying. It would be funny since Melai could hardly see Santi’s eyes because of Wayfarers, but I was too annoyed or preoccupied to care.
“Is it true?” Melai asked, turning back to me, eyes and face still serious.
“Is what true?” I asked a bit bewildered. Melai lowered her voice as if about to expose a big secret.
“Did Bench do what he said he did that night when you and Jan had that fight? Did he stay with you?”
I blinked. I forgot to tell them that Bench was the one who comforted me that night. In fact I even forgot to thank Bench for that. Everything had happened so fast for me then I had no idea if I ever told my brother to thank Bench for helping me.
“Yes.” I answered now, quietly and truthfully. “I was distraught that night. It’s a miracle none of you heard it.” I smiled trying to inject some humour, but Melai just squeezed my hand while Santi placed a hand on my shoulder.
“You should have told us you needed help Liv. You didn’t need to keep it all to yourself.” Santi now said his voice rough.
“But,” I hesitated, not sure where this conversation was headed. “I didn’t want to bother you with my problems; you got enough to handle with your own.”
“Exactly.” Melai said with a bit of exasperation. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t ask for help. What kind of friends would we be if we didn’t try to help you when you needed us the most?” she looked at me then, her face earnest and I could feel the pressure behind my eyes, making me tear.
“I’m sorry.” I said breathlessly as tears cascaded down my cheeks. I felt Melai pull me into a hug that was rather awkward in position since I was on my bed and she was seated on the stool. It didn’t matter, she just hugged me, and I hugged her back.
“We’re the ones who should be sorry.” Santi said from somewhere behind me. I felt him rub my back. “We should have known you needed us the most.” I felt the pressure of his weight on my bed, and pretty soon we were entangled in this big group hug. I didn’t want to let go. It was long time before any one of us did too.
When we did finally extract ourselves from the hug, I wasn’t at all surprised to see the three of us weren’t alone in the room anymore. Bench was leaning against the doorway, an unfathomable expression on his face.
“Hey.” I greeted him, trying to smile through my swollen cheek, trying to tell him I wasn’t angry with him and that it was all good. For some weird reason, Bench frowned when he saw my smile and that smile quickly disappeared.
“Uh guys?” I tuned towards Melai and Santi. “Is it all right if you go check up on the others? See if they’re all right, my brother especially. I would really appreciate it.”
Melai looked back and forth between Bench and I before Santi swiftly pulled her up. “Sure.” He said with a bit of an effort.
“We’ll see you later. Take it easy.” Were his parting words and he and Melai left, leaving me alone with Bench.
There was an awkward silence that stretched far beyond how long silences could be and at the back of my mind I was aware that out of all people, Bench and I never had the awkward silences. We were always comfortable around each other, unafraid to speak because we knew we would understand each other. I hadn’t had a clue as to what made the silence awkward.
I looked up as he came forward, shutting the door behind him, his expression still unfathomable, and he was still not saying anything. I waited patiently; half-afraid what he was going to say, and half just wanting to get it over with. He sat down beside me and stared at me so intently I was sure he watched Robert Pattinson in Twilight just to copy that intensity. Seriously, it was enough to creep me out; more so this was Bench we were talking about. He continued to stare at me intently for a couple of more minutes before he picked up the makeshift icepack Melai had made and placed it gingerly on the swollen side of my face.
But before he could say anything as he held the ice pack there, I opened my mouth and blurted out: “I’m sorry.”
That got his attention. “What are you sorry for?” he asked, genuinely surprised at my statement, I had to bite back a laugh. Instead I composed my features and when I looked back at Bench he was trying to hold back his smile as well. Something clicked.
“You sneak!” I squealed at him his arm playfully. “You knew I felt guilty about the whole thing didn’t you? You knew I wanted to say sorry, that’s why you stayed silent. You milked it for all it’s worth!” I gave a scandalized gasp at his behaviour and I was laughing because I managed to make him laugh.
“Liv!” he barked out my name minutes later when I proceeded to thwack him with my pillow. I only stopped because Bench, with amazing speed I had not know he possessed, grabbed the pillow out of my hands and encircled my wrists with his own.
“Liv,” he said a bit more calmly, though his lips were still twitching. “Come on, be serious.”
I raised my eyebrows, wondering if he was serious or he was just messing with me as always. I decided to go for the latter. “You don’t think I’m not being serious?” I asked with exaggerated shock on my face. “That hurts Bench.”
To my surprise, Bench didn’t say anything back but just shook his head and stared at the floor, still holding onto my wrists.
“Bench?” I asked this time thoroughly confused. He looked up and there it was again. That unfathomable expression on his eyes.
“You know you always do that when you’re nervous.”
I felt my eyebrow furrow. “Do what?”
Bench frowned as if debating if he should tell me exactly what it was he was thinking, but I had had enough experience talking to him that one just needed a hint over to his direction and then he would be happy to oblige you with his talk. Or so I thought.
“Bench?” I asked when he was silent again, still staring at the floor, completely acting unlike him, making me wonder if all the months we had fun together was just the other side of him and that he was really bipolar and that he may be after for my blood and he really was going to kill me when no one was looking...
“I’m not going to kill you.” Bench interrupted out loud and I looked back at him, then I felt myself cringe. I must have said those last words out loud. I sighed and tried my best to act normal again.
“Well if you’re not going to kill me, why won’t you talk?” I asked him incredulous, still aware of how he held my wrists in his larger hands. “I mean this is not typical Bench behaviour. Come one, if you blame me for what happened, I don’t resent you, I understand.”
“Exactly.” Bench nodded firmly, his eyes flashing dangerously.
Again I felt the confusion. “Er, what?” I asked him and it was his turn to sigh roughly.
“Exactly, you always understand.” He elaborated, though that didn’t help much to be honest. “Is there ever a time you would think irrationally?” he demanded and I had to laugh at the absurdity of his question.
“I’m not stupid, Bench, come on, give me some credit.”
Bench snorted and released my wrists. “Just oblivious.” He muttered I bet hoping I wouldn’t catch that, but I did, and I reached over to grab his own hand.
“I’m what?” I demanded, my voice holding the warning. Bench it seemed ignored the warning and held my gaze.
“You’re oblivious.” He stated calmly, ignoring again the glare that was forming in my eyes.
“Oblivious to what?” my voice rising higher in volume getting irked by this implication I was stupid. Bench just stared again at me, his eyes oh-so-serious that it completely surprised me when he leaned closer and captured my lips in his own.