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fragdude2k — How I am
Published: 2003-06-10 11:01:48 +0000 UTC; Views: 156; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 16
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How I amI don\'t know what to say,
I don\'t know what to say,
Will I ever know what to say?
I am self-conscious
I am judge-mental
I think my self a dork,
For liking romantic movies and music,
It bothers me,
I am self-conscious of it
I worry what others will think,
If I speak,
If I look,
If I don\'t speak,
For if I do,
I may say something they think is wrong,
Or stupid,
The curse of the intelligent,
In the presence of the unintelligent
How can I speak,
If I fear speaking something wrong,
Or obvious,
Too obvious
What may I do to be the way I want to be?
Where can I learn to be the way I want to be?
Who is my friend?
Anyone?
I wish I had a few,
At least some,
Someone to talk to,
My age,
Or about my age
A friend,
To talk to
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Comments: 4
mm... some parts are powerful, but it lacks rythym... with rythym it would be much better, in my opinion.
however. guess what! IT'S YOUR POEM. so you can do whatever you want. 8D
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I agree with what diamondie said. The idea and feelings are good, but the structure needs a lot of work, there doesnt seem to be much flow.
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This is very incoherent and not very lyrical at all, it's more like a rant. I think if you wrapped the same thoughts in a real poem, it'd be very powerful. Or preferably several poems, it's really hard to describe oneself in just one, that's what creates the feeling of incoherence. Try to cut down the repetition, it's a very difficult technique to use and usually doesn't work. I liked the new word you created, judge-mental.
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Sad that you see this self this way, but I can't help relating, the poem has energy.
Its social anxiety disorder summed up in a poem, more accurately that a thousand page medical text book.
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