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I woke in darkness. I lay with my eyes open, waiting for them to adjust to the darkness. They never do. Not in this dark.
The air feels heavy as I push back the covers. My arm drops back as my body sinks back and my body becomes boneless against the bed.
I wonder why I have to wake over and over. Why does this preternatural heart keep beating? What alchemy keeps my body moving?

I have no answer to these questions. The angel that lays beside me does not know either. When I say such things out loud she looks at me with soft eyes and a kind smile. I know she would shake her head if it was not me asking the question.
But my love indulges me and keeps her opinions on the matter to herself.

Such a gentle heart to belong to a monster such as us. Her sire was not so gentle. He has a cold soul, capable of deep cruelty.
My love believes that not everyone is capable of such cruelty. That a person must have been capable of such in life to be capable of it in this life.

She stirs beside be, somewhere between sleeping and waking. I know that place well, having spent much time there in my former life. It's a warm soft place. For some. Other times it can terrify.
She draws me closer to her. I close my eyes as I breathe in the scent of her. Feeling at home and at peace thinking of her and not of other darker, more hurtful things.

*****

I watch the couples dancing. They writhe against each other, as if trying to merge into one. I watch them and wonder if they feel alone, if that's why they are at this club. If they are looking for familiar in strange.
I sit silent and still as their motion continues catching hints of warmth, lust and desperation in the air.

I feel outside of it all. It's a strange, disjointed feeling that I'm not used to. I'm used to being in the centre of things, or very close to it.
I've never been in this position before. It feels like I've stepped outside of reality and myself. Maybe I have.

I think this is what people do when they are alone. So completely alone that the world disappears. They search for a new reality, a new family. They seek and find something or someone that fills the silence and bridges the gap. They take what ever they can find when desperation drives a want to become a need.

I don't know why I walked away from my love tonight. I'll return to her before dawn. But for now I think I needed to feel this loneliness, to allow myself to sink into desolation.

I watch the people dancing as I feel that. I wonder if they feel it too. I think so. I think that's why they are here. For some sort of contact. It doesn't matter from who or how monstrous the person it comes from. As long as it looks human. Even if instinct tells them otherwise they will deny, always deny.

The beautiful man walking towards me denies. Even though he shivers as he takes my cold hands in his. He smiles at me to deny the fear that runs its chill fingers down his spine.

He turns away from me, hands gliding up my neck into my hair as his hips move against mine. I feel myself tremble as the music pounds through my body.
One hand moves down his waist to his hip, with the other I gently tip his chin to the left. I feel his breath quicken as my lips touch the soft skin at the base his neck. The rush of ecstatic pleasure from him almost overwhelms me as my fangs break the skin. He softly bites my index finger as I drink.

His knees seem to weaken as I bite my own tongue, allowing the blood to touch his skin to heal the wound.
I lead him to a table at the side of the room and push him into a chair. I kiss him softly on the lips and start to move away. He quickly grabs my hand, looking overcome but wanting more.
He begs me for my name. I tell him he won't remember me in the morning. He swears he will never forget me. I smile and walk away. Maybe he will forget, maybe he won't who knows.

I leave the club walking out onto the street, feeling the chill air beat against my skin. I walk to the end of the street before looking up from the ground.
When I do I see my love waiting for me. She holds out her hand for mine. I kiss her hand and put my arms around her as the wind grows stronger.