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Description
Bill is sitting on the couch, trying to get his mind off Jessica. He tries to take a drink from his can but realizes it’s empty. He tosses the empty van in the general direction of the trash and pops the tab open on a fresh beer. Downing half the can in one go, Bill hears Danny open the door and enter the apartment. Danny glances around and sees the multiple empty cans scattered around the floor. Oh no... not again. Danny peels off the suit, currently looking like himself, and hangs it up. Speaking to Bill, he says “Hey man... what’s going on?”

Bill takes another drink and says “Betrayal! Heartbreak! Idiocy! Take your pick...”

Danny sighs and makes his way to the couch, careful to step over the empty cans. “Alright man... what happened?”

Bill burps and drunkenly points at Danny. “You’re lucky... you’ve never given your heart away... you’ve never had - hic - had your soul crushed by the person you trusted most.” Bill stifles another burp. “I envy you, man...”

Danny massages the bridge of his nose. He hates when Bill is like this, recalling how last time it was because Jessica threatened to dump him after a fight. He sits back and says “Alright... tell me what happened.”

Bill takes another swig of his drink and launches into an angry recounting of the day’s events. “This morning I got a - a message from Jessica and her - hic - she wanted to meet me for lunch since she was in town. So I did.” Bill saw the look on Danny’s face. “I know, I know! I’m an idiot! Why would I purposely put myself in that situation? Because I’m an idiot!” Danny knew better than try to defend Bill to himself so he stayed quiet until Bill continued. “So I - I went and met her at... at that place. You know... the beach place... the uh...”

“The Sandy Sandwich...” Danny offered, knowing Bill wouldn’t move on until he remembered the name.

“Yeah! That place! Man - I know they’re named after their sandwiches but they had some really good fries, dude.” Bill finishes off his can and keeps going. “So... me and Jessica - we met up and I thought maybe she wanted to apologize or something - but hell no! She was like... like... ‘Oh baby, you’re overreacting. Just come back home. I need you.’” Bill says trying to imitate Jessica’s voice. “And she - she kept saying stuff like that and when I brought up the - the cheating, she got mad! At me!” Bill slaps in hand on his chest as though to show who he was referring to. “She was like ‘Well if you let me know you were gonna come home early then it wouldn’t have happened.’ Like what the fuck dude?” Bill tries to take another drink but forgot he emptied his beer already and tossed it aside. “And - and you know what really made me mad? She... she said that my landlord was asking about our rent and that I - I should come home and fix it! Bitch, please! I only took care of the rent because you... you promised you were looking for a job or something too. Like... shit” Bill folds over and clutches his head. He tries to hide it but Danny can see his shoulders bobbing slightly as he cries silently. Danny wordlessly gets up and starts gathering Bill’s empty beer cans to throw them away.

After a few moments, Bill regains his composure and says “I... I’m sorry for the mess man... you... you let me crash here... show me your cool new secret camera... let me use it... and how do I repay you? By making a mess in your apartment and crying like a baby...”

Danny smiles and puts his hand on Bill’s shoulder. “It’s fine dude. I know you’d do the same for me if our roles were reversed. Now, drink this.” Danny hands Bill a bottle of water, which he dutifully drinks.

Bill looks at the trash bag full of empty beer cans and moans “Oh I’m gonna have the worse hangover tomorrow...”

“Good thing you don’t have to work in the morning then. Just drink a ton of water dude.” Bill nods and does so. Danny flips on the TV and they watch in silence.

As they’re watching Bill has a thought. Danny’s a great friend... dude’s put up with my shit for years and I’ve never been able to repay him... Maybe I could... Bill glances behind the couch and sees the camera and laptop on the table. He excuses himself to go to the bathroom, but snags the camera, laptop, and suit on the way. Danny doesn’t notice, so Bill decides to put the suit on and opens the laptop. He tries to remember a conversation they had many years ago while drunk about their types and makes a look by combining Heather, Miranda, and the Asian woman, who they still haven’t come up with a name for. He’s about to call it good when he notices another file he hadn’t seen before. Too drunk to care where it came from, Bill opened it up and merged it with the others.

Danny starts getting worried that Bill has been in the bathroom for so long. He calls out “Hey dude, you alright in there?”

“I’m more than alright.” Danny turns at the feminine voice and sees a raven-haired woman with vaguely Asian features, a body shaped like an hourglass, and a very prominent rack. Danny also notices the lack of clothing.

“Uh... what ya doing?” Danny’s slightly confused and slightly uncomfortable at the smile she’s has looking at him. Bill doesn’t answer, but instead walks over to the couch and leans towards Danny. “Uh... you ok dude?” Danny says, slightly distracted by the breasts inches from his nose.

“I’m great!” Bill giggles. “Well.. maybe a bit drunk but that doesn’t matter right now.” She leans even closer, a long, smooth leg now stepping over the couch’s arm. Danny tries to lean back but is limited by his seat. “You’ve been... been such a good friend.” Bill climbs over the arm of the couch and sits on her knees. She puts her arms to either side of Danny, who has slid as far back as he could now and starts to crawl towards him. “You... you’ve been there for - hic - me for years and I... I never had a chance to repay you. You... you’ve listened to my problems... helped me get through so much shit... you’ve never even complained when I had Jessica over... Not once.”

“Uh, um, ye - yeah man... it’s no big deal, that’s what friends are for right?” Danny has no idea what has gotten into Bill. He feels like he should be extremely uncomfortable, but can’t help be attracted to Bill’s current appearance.

Bill smiles and says “And that’s what’s great about you - you never expect anything. But - hic - but I want to give you something back. Something to make up for all those nights when... when Jessica and I kept you up at night. For all the times you’ve listened to my problems with dating even though you had your own.” Bill leans onto her haunches a bit and gestures to her body. “It’s not perfect, but I tried to make as close to a match to your ideal woman as possible. Is it good enough?”

“Uh, yeah... it’s... it’s great.” Danny stammers. “But, but - good enough for what?”

“For this.” And Bill leans in and plants her lips on Danny. Shocked, Danny doesn’t move. He feels Bill climb closer and kisses harder. Danny temporarily forgets it’s his best friend and returns the kiss. Danny feels Bill’s tongue work its way into Danny’s mouth and they embrace tighter. Danny lies back on the couch, as Bill it’s on top of him. With a free hand, Bill starts to pull down Danny’s shorts. Danny instinctively starts to help but then snaps back to reality. He shoves Bill off of him and quickly gets up from the couch. “What’s wrong?” Bill asks, confused.

Danny stammers “I - what - you- what’s wrong?!” Danny shakes his head violently. “You... you... Bill, you’re my best friend - my best dude friend! And you’re... you’re drunk, and trying to fuck me!” Danny turns his back towards Bill and puts his hands on his head, as though trying to massage away the complex emotions he’s feeling.

Softly, Bill speaks up “So you don’t want me?”

“What? No! I mean... I do but... I just... ugh!” Danny collapses in defeat on the couch. “You’re hot as fuck... and yeah... I... My body wants you but my mind... You’re still Bill! My best friend from high school! The dude who I would spend late nights playing games with. The only guy outside of my family I trust! I don’t... I don’t know...” Danny feels Bill’s new, soft hands rubbing his shoulders. He both wants to pull away and embrace it. His head feels like he’d been the one who drank all that beer. “Look... I just... I just...” He turns to look at Bill, with a face of pure beauty. Danny forgets what he was going to say and just stammers silently.

Bill places a finger on Danny’s lips. “Would it help if I said I wasn’t Bill? That I’m someone else entirely?”

“I don’t... I mean, it’s still weird to fuck a stranger.”

Bill thinks for a moment then says “Alright then. I’m not a stranger. But I’m not Bill. I’m... Wilma, your best friend from high school. We’ve spent so much time together - you’ve helped me deal with boyfriend issues, helped me get through college, and we’ve been inseparable.”

“Uh, I’m not...” But Bill - or Wilma - cuts him off.

“We’ve been friends for years and you’ve never complained about me focusing on other guys. And only now, after the worse breakup ever with my ex-boyfriend... Jeremy, do I realize how much you mean to me. And now, I want you to know that.”

Danny still felt a bit odd but when Wilma leans in to kiss him, he doesn’t reject it. After the kiss, Danny says “Alright then... Wilma.” Wilma grins and they begin making out again. This time, as they get into it, Danny guides Wilma, still making out, into his bedroom. There, Wilma pulls his clothes off and they lie in bed. For hours they make love and enjoy each other’s presence.

Many hours later, Danny’s lying in bed, arms around his best friend turned hot girl. He thinks to himself. Never in a million years would I have thought I’d be laying here with one of the sexiest girls I’ve seen who also happens to be my best friend... If we had two suits I bet we could do some amazing stuff...

Description
Bill is sitting on the couch, trying to get his mind off Jessica. He tries to take a drink from his can but realizes it’s empty. He tosses the empty van in the general direction of the trash and pops the tab open on a fresh beer. Downing half the can in one go, Bill hears Danny open the door and enter the apartment. Danny glances around and sees the multiple empty cans scattered around the floor. Oh no... not again. Danny peels off the suit, currently looking like himself, and hangs it up. Speaking to Bill, he says “Hey man... what’s going on?”

Bill takes another drink and says “Betrayal! Heartbreak! Idiocy! Take your pick...”

Danny sighs and makes his way to the couch, careful to step over the empty cans. “Alright man... what happened?”

Bill burps and drunkenly points at Danny. “You’re lucky... you’ve never given your heart away... you’ve never had - hic - had your soul crushed by the person you trusted most.” Bill stifles another burp. “I envy you, man...”

Danny massages the bridge of his nose. He hates when Bill is like this, recalling how last time it was because Jessica threatened to dump him after a fight. He sits back and says “Alright... tell me what happened.”

Bill takes another swig of his drink and launches into an angry recounting of the day’s events. “This morning I got a - a message from Jessica and her - hic - she wanted to meet me for lunch since she was in town. So I did.” Bill saw the look on Danny’s face. “I know, I know! I’m an idiot! Why would I purposely put myself in that situation? Because I’m an idiot!” Danny knew better than try to defend Bill to himself so he stayed quiet until Bill continued. “So I - I went and met her at... at that place. You know... the beach place... the uh...”

“The Sandy Sandwich...” Danny offered, knowing Bill wouldn’t move on until he remembered the name.

“Yeah! That place! Man - I know they’re named after their sandwiches but they had some really good fries, dude.” Bill finishes off his can and keeps going. “So... me and Jessica - we met up and I thought maybe she wanted to apologize or something - but hell no! She was like... like... ‘Oh baby, you’re overreacting. Just come back home. I need you.’” Bill says trying to imitate Jessica’s voice. “And she - she kept saying stuff like that and when I brought up the - the cheating, she got mad! At me!” Bill slaps in hand on his chest as though to show who he was referring to. “She was like ‘Well if you let me know you were gonna come home early then it wouldn’t have happened.’ Like what the fuck dude?” Bill tries to take another drink but forgot he emptied his beer already and tossed it aside. “And - and you know what really made me mad? She... she said that my landlord was asking about our rent and that I - I should come home and fix it! Bitch, please! I only took care of the rent because you... you promised you were looking for a job or something too. Like... shit” Bill folds over and clutches his head. He tries to hide it but Danny can see his shoulders bobbing slightly as he cries silently. Danny wordlessly gets up and starts gathering Bill’s empty beer cans to throw them away.

After a few moments, Bill regains his composure and says “I... I’m sorry for the mess man... you... you let me crash here... show me your cool new secret camera... let me use it... and how do I repay you? By making a mess in your apartment and crying like a baby...”

Danny smiles and puts his hand on Bill’s shoulder. “It’s fine dude. I know you’d do the same for me if our roles were reversed. Now, drink this.” Danny hands Bill a bottle of water, which he dutifully drinks.

Bill looks at the trash bag full of empty beer cans and moans “Oh I’m gonna have the worse hangover tomorrow...”

“Good thing you don’t have to work in the morning then. Just drink a ton of water dude.” Bill nods and does so. Danny flips on the TV and they watch in silence.

As they’re watching Bill has a thought. Danny’s a great friend... dude’s put up with my shit for years and I’ve never been able to repay him... Maybe I could... Bill glances behind the couch and sees the camera and laptop on the table. He excuses himself to go to the bathroom, but snags the camera, laptop, and suit on the way. Danny doesn’t notice, so Bill decides to put the suit on and opens the laptop. He tries to remember a conversation they had many years ago while drunk about their types and makes a look by combining Heather, Miranda, and the Asian woman, who they still haven’t come up with a name for. He’s about to call it good when he notices another file he hadn’t seen before. Too drunk to care where it came from, Bill opened it up and merged it with the others.

Danny starts getting worried that Bill has been in the bathroom for so long. He calls out “Hey dude, you alright in there?”

“I’m more than alright.” Danny turns at the feminine voice and sees a raven-haired woman with vaguely Asian features, a body shaped like an hourglass, and a very prominent rack. Danny also notices the lack of clothing.

“Uh... what ya doing?” Danny’s slightly confused and slightly uncomfortable at the smile she’s has looking at him. Bill doesn’t answer, but instead walks over to the couch and leans towards Danny. “Uh... you ok dude?” Danny says, slightly distracted by the breasts inches from his nose.

“I’m great!” Bill giggles. “Well.. maybe a bit drunk but that doesn’t matter right now.” She leans even closer, a long, smooth leg now stepping over the couch’s arm. Danny tries to lean back but is limited by his seat. “You’ve been... been such a good friend.” Bill climbs over the arm of the couch and sits on her knees. She puts her arms to either side of Danny, who has slid as far back as he could now and starts to crawl towards him. “You... you’ve been there for - hic - me for years and I... I never had a chance to repay you. You... you’ve listened to my problems... helped me get through so much shit... you’ve never even complained when I had Jessica over... Not once.”

“Uh, um, ye - yeah man... it’s no big deal, that’s what friends are for right?” Danny has no idea what has gotten into Bill. He feels like he should be extremely uncomfortable, but can’t help be attracted to Bill’s current appearance.

Bill smiles and says “And that’s what’s great about you - you never expect anything. But - hic - but I want to give you something back. Something to make up for all those nights when... when Jessica and I kept you up at night. For all the times you’ve listened to my problems with dating even though you had your own.” Bill leans onto her haunches a bit and gestures to her body. “It’s not perfect, but I tried to make as close to a match to your ideal woman as possible. Is it good enough?”

“Uh, yeah... it’s... it’s great.” Danny stammers. “But, but - good enough for what?”

“For this.” And Bill leans in and plants her lips on Danny. Shocked, Danny doesn’t move. He feels Bill climb closer and kisses harder. Danny temporarily forgets it’s his best friend and returns the kiss. Danny feels Bill’s tongue work its way into Danny’s mouth and they embrace tighter. Danny lies back on the couch, as Bill it’s on top of him. With a free hand, Bill starts to pull down Danny’s shorts. Danny instinctively starts to help but then snaps back to reality. He shoves Bill off of him and quickly gets up from the couch. “What’s wrong?” Bill asks, confused.

Danny stammers “I - what - you- what’s wrong?!” Danny shakes his head violently. “You... you... Bill, you’re my best friend - my best dude friend! And you’re... you’re drunk, and trying to fuck me!” Danny turns his back towards Bill and puts his hands on his head, as though trying to massage away the complex emotions he’s feeling.

Softly, Bill speaks up “So you don’t want me?”

“What? No! I mean... I do but... I just... ugh!” Danny collapses in defeat on the couch. “You’re hot as fuck... and yeah... I... My body wants you but my mind... You’re still Bill! My best friend from high school! The dude who I would spend late nights playing games with. The only guy outside of my family I trust! I don’t... I don’t know...” Danny feels Bill’s new, soft hands rubbing his shoulders. He both wants to pull away and embrace it. His head feels like he’d been the one who drank all that beer. “Look... I just... I just...” He turns to look at Bill, with a face of pure beauty. Danny forgets what he was going to say and just stammers silently.

Bill places a finger on Danny’s lips. “Would it help if I said I wasn’t Bill? That I’m someone else entirely?”

“I don’t... I mean, it’s still weird to fuck a stranger.”

Bill thinks for a moment then says “Alright then. I’m not a stranger. But I’m not Bill. I’m... Wilma, your best friend from high school. We’ve spent so much time together - you’ve helped me deal with boyfriend issues, helped me get through college, and we’ve been inseparable.”

“Uh, I’m not...” But Bill - or Wilma - cuts him off.

“We’ve been friends for years and you’ve never complained about me focusing on other guys. And only now, after the worse breakup ever with my ex-boyfriend... Jeremy, do I realize how much you mean to me. And now, I want you to know that.”

Danny still felt a bit odd but when Wilma leans in to kiss him, he doesn’t reject it. After the kiss, Danny says “Alright then... Wilma.” Wilma grins and they begin making out again. This time, as they get into it, Danny guides Wilma, still making out, into his bedroom. There, Wilma pulls his clothes off and they lie in bed. For hours they make love and enjoy each other’s presence.

Many hours later, Danny’s lying in bed, arms around his best friend turned hot girl. He thinks to himself. Never in a million years would I have thought I’d be laying here with one of the sexiest girls I’ve seen who also happens to be my best friend... If we had two suits I bet we could do some amazing stuff...