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i have never tried to disappear before, and it is so unsatisfying: did you know that every second you're below the surface, you have to hold your breath? the poetry is useless, snarling defiance at skies that know not who i am and care less, laboriously transposing regret into rebellion and tucking the hurt back in between the lines when no one's watching.

you did something kind today and someone needs to help me, because underneath it all i am a good person and the inside of my head just whispers don't like those helpless cinema girls i used to hate.

soon, Ani will ask me again if i'd prefer the easy way, and i never thought i would.

i will run away for the rest of my life, because if i weep in front of you you won't know why.