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GojiraCipher — Puzzles of Infinity CH 1
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Published: 2017-02-20 03:26:22 +0000 UTC; Views: 524; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 0
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Chapter 1: Cluck Cluck BOOM
“Well here comes the next one.” A red headed girl wearing glasses took a deep breath as she was about to open door leading into a train car.
“Miss Tulip, I bet this car has T.V.s, with nothing but infomercials! That would be fun!” shouted a cheerful sphered robot colored black and white.
“Or just our untimely end.” The robot said, but now with a depressed tone.
“One-One….. well on this train, anything is possible, just like that disgusting fart car.” The red head named Tulip spoke. “Let’s just open it and see where it goes.”
Tulip took a deep breath and opened the door. When she walked in, she found a white room, covered in white feathers.
“Huh, looks simple enough.” The girl examined the room’s pile of feathers. “Glad I don’t have a feather allergy.”
“There must have been a pillow fight. I love pillow fights!”
“Pillows are the victims of domestic violence. Just look as the featherspill.”
“That’sssss pretty dark.” Tulip said as she walked down the car.
“Your naïve mind cannot fathom the misery of this world.”
As they passed by each feather pile, Tulip always expected someone to just pop right out of the piles, but there was not a single movement, until they reached the door at the end, with a pile blocking their way.
“Alright, is someone under there?” Tulip questions was swiftly answered when the pile sprouted scaly legs and stood right up.
Tulip let out yelp as the robot said something depressing. “It’s not a feather pile. It’s an outcast.”
“I like chickens!” The robot spoke again in a cheerful mood.
“One-One, settle down.” Tulip spoke to the robot she named One-One, two robots who are separately called Glad-One and Sad-One.
Tulip looked at the pile of feather which revealed itself to be a giant chicken. “H-Hello.” The girl waved. “Can you talk?”
The chicken tilted its head, and then gave the girl once furious looking glare. “Bu-Baaak! Of course I can ca-CAAAW talk. You think I’m just some birdbrain you Bak prejudice little CAW-ward!”
“Oh no, not this.” Tulip pinched between her eyes. “Look, I don’t mean any harm. I just want to go through the door and-”
“Get away from a chicken like myself!” The veins in the chicken’s face started popping out as its glare grew stronger and stronger.
“It’s going to burst a vessel.” Sad-One spoke.
“Pop goes the chicken.” Cheered Glad-One.
“Rrrrrr. Can we please get through?” Tulip pleaded with the chicken.
Chicken gave her a curious look, but still held in its anger. “Very well. ON ONE BAAAAK CONDITION!” With great effort, the chicken laid an egg with a timer on it. “See this!” The chicken eyed the clock painfully. “This egg will explode if you do not answer this simple question.”
“E-Explode!?” Tulip gasped.
“I love fireworks, Miss Tulip.” Glad-One spoke.
“Answer correctly, you can leave.” The chicken said. “BUT!” It threw its head towards Tulip, startling the girl as the sharp beak narrowly stopped in front of her face. “Guess incorrectly just ONCE, and the egg explodes immediately.”
“Uhh uhhhhh.” Tulip glanced at the egg bomb and at the chicken.
“Answer the question, Baaak!”
“Question?” Tulip asked. “You didn’t give me a one yet.”
“You don’t have time to know what the question is! Now answer the question! CAAAAW CAAAAAW!”
Tulip yelped as the time counted down.
“Miss Tulip, I bet it’s the ‘What Came First’ question. The chicken or the egg.” Glad-One said. “Choose the egg. NO wait, the chicken. No, the egg. NO, the chicken!”
“Why does it matter? Both have the same fate, death then breakfast.” Glad-One moped. “I’ll write their obituaries.”
“YOU’RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!” shouted the chicken as the time reached ten seconds.
“Ahhhhhhh!” Tulip held her head in frustration. “One-One, we need to go back to the last car before this place blows!”
“B-Blows!” The Chicken rushed to the wall and smashed a hole with its head. The chicken picked up the egg and threw it out of the car before it finally explodes. “How dare you think my car ‘blows’. Ba-Baaak!” shouted the Chicken. “Everyone loves this place! But not anti-chicken people like yourself!” The chicken began pacing around the room as it rants more and more about our heroes. “How dare you think you’re better than us chicken because you have higher brains and we don’t have thumbs. I can grow my own thumbs, I just don’t want to, and another Caaaaw thing! Your face is ugly and-”
The back door slammed shut as the chicken ranted away, oblivious to the fact that Tulip and One-One slipped from the its sight.
“I’d rather go through the fart car again.” Tulip sighed as she tucked One-One in her backpack.
“I’m going to miss that chicken. It was so nice and likeable.” Glad-One said. “I bet the answer was ‘To get to the other side’.”
“Anti-humor. How likely.” Sad-One sighed.
“No, that chicken was not likeable!” shouted Tulip as they entered another car. “I hope we don’t have to run into any more crazy chicken like that again.”
“Crazy chicken you say?” asked someone. “I suppose you MOOOOOOO also believe us MOOOOOOO cows are crazy too! Hmph!....... MOOOOOOOO!”
Tulip let out a painful sigh as Glad-One asked a talking Cow for milk.
End of Chapter
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