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This was originally posted on fanfictionDOTnet in 2012. This has been updates several times and the original one is currently being updated.
Peter, Sonic, and Link: The Cross-over Crystals By Godzilla2915
Chapter 1: Peter and the Red Crystal

World: Quahog
In a peaceful city called Quahog, there is a lovely and safe street call Spooner Street. On this street, everyone has well and perfect lives, where everyone takes good care of their children and listen to their smart and responsible spouses, and where people who tries and steal this story or any ideas are gay and then will gets vasectomies, and…and… ah ha ha ha ha ha!
"Ok ok, you got me. That was all a lie, except the stealing part! Hello, my name is Peter Griffin. I would love to describe what I look like, but you guys already know that since you are all teenagers or older, you have all watched Family Guy and pretty much know who everyone is. But if you are younger than a teenager, GET THE HELL OFF THIS FANFICTION! Your parents will not want you reading this! So you should do something else your smart and wise parents will allow you to do, like play Call of Duty...The sex addition. Now that the intro is out of the way, I will show you all why my description of Spooner Street is a lie." Peter took out a remote and then pressed a button.
(BOOM)
The explosion shook Peter's entire house. We then see Peter's wife, Lois Griffin, running out of their house through the front door. "PETER GRIFFIN, what the hell are you doing!"
Peter started acting snooty to his wife "Well for your information Lois, me and the gang are digging in the front yard to search for buried treasure." explained Peter as he points to his friends digging while oblivious to how Lois is acting to all this.
"What makes you think there's buried treasure in our front yard!"
Peter now has a large American flag flapping behind him and started giving a speech. "Because that is the American way. It is our duty (heah heah heah) to get rich and fat, and were women can read evil books about a stupid girl wanting a threesome with pitiful excuses for a vampire and a werewolf, and were almost all the movies these days are remakes, the government always laugh everytime someone says we have rights of our own."
"But what does that have to do with… You know what, screw it. I don't want to get a migraine."
So Lois went back into the house to leave the gang; which includes Peter, Joe, Quagmire, and Brian, back to digging. Two hours had past and the gang dug one hundred feet below the surface. Everyone, except Peter, stared getting tired from digging. Joe was the first to speak out. "Peter, we've been digging for hours. Can we stop now?"
"Not until we find treasure, or we dig straight to hell and barge in on a Michael Jackson concert."
(Cutaway Gag)
Michael Jackson is singing 'Thriller' in a stadium filled with demons. one demon said, "This guy's too talented to torture."
"But it's still kind of mess up he's a pedo." said another demon.
(End Cutaway Gag)
"Peter, when will you ever learn?" asked Brian in a annoyed tone.
"Hey, Michael Jackson IS in hell, he's still a pedophile." Peter said.
Brian then commented as the raging atheist he is, "No not that, nothing about any religion is real, and they cause nothing but most of our world's problems."
"F**k you Brian, people have rights to their faiths and their opinions and who are you to judge? You f**king piece of sh*t. And stop sh*ting on my lawn!"
"Oh looks you talking." Brian folded his arms. "I've done a lot of crap, but not as many Korean women you're holding captive in your suitcase ... which we're not doing anything about."
While Brian and Quagmire are arguing, Peter hit something hard with his shovel. "Hey I think I hit something?" So everyone started digging where the object is. "Oh boy, I hope it's a new tooth. I always loose teeth when I was a kid and every time they go under my pillow, it disappears. Then some loser left their dollar there."
After the dirt was cleared, Peter picked the object up and brushed off the remaining dirt. Peter's eyes widen with amazement at his new treasure. It is a red crystal roughly twice the size as a football that was giving of heat. Peter showed the crystal to his friends. They gathered around and felt the warmth it was giving off.
"It's amazing!" said Joe.
"It's fantastic!" said Brian.
"It's warm, giggity." you know who said.
"IT'S THE DARK CRYSTAL! Quick, hide it from the Skeksis!" Brian looked up at Peter and told him otherwise.
"Peter that was just in a movie and the Dark Crystal is not red, whatever red looks like. But there is something mysterious about this. …. Anyone here ever watched that movie?" As everyone answered no, Brian got a closer look at the crystal. "There appears to be an inscription on it, but I can't make it out. We should bring it to the museum."
But Peter gave Brian a different idea. "Screw that, Brian. We should have people pay money to see it. We'll be loaded!"
Brian shook his head. "That is a stupid idea. You can't just ... Peter." Brian looked around and found that Peter was no in the hole.
Peter already had set up a stand back above ground with the crystal in a glass case in just under a few seconds. "Step right up to see the mysterious crystal for only $50 bucks!" Then the sunlight shined on the crystal, which caused it to start glowing. Peter turned to the crystal and noticed what is happening. "Make that $100 bucks!"
Quagmire and Brian helped Joe up and they saw people paying Peter money. Joe and Quagmire went to Peter and saw all the cash. "Woah, your making twice as much than your job." complemented Joe.
Peter looked at all the money he was getting. Greed filled his mind. "This crystal is a miracle, and not those boring ones Jesus did, except that wine one. I just know that from now on, this baby will bring happiness in my life!"
World: Unknown
In a dark and vast underground world were the only light sources are scarce crystal shards sticking out of the ground and ceiling, there is a Central American style pyramid. In the pyramid there is a room that has a wall with writing on it, similar to the one on the red crystal, which also included pictures. One picture had three objects in it, one of which started glowing red.
Afterwards, someone came walking into the room while making metal clinking noises with his feet. With a bored look in his glowing green eyes, he slowly turned his head and noticed the phenomena. "...Can it be?" He got closer to the carving and stared into the glow. He placed a flat hand on the carving and felt its warmth. "It is ... our destiny has finally started!" His horrifying voice echoed through the room. In the dark shadows, green eyes began glowing. The tall figure turned and looked at the eyes. "What we have been waiting and preparing for so long have finally begun, the first crystal has been activated!" He held out his arms which appeared to have four hands on each. "My followers; prepare yourself to travel to the home world of the 'fat man of resistance' for a little...visit!"
Meanwhile, far away from the pyramid, there is a city made of green stone. It has many more light producing shards than the pyramid has. A large palace with a statue of a giant green eye above the main entrance stood at the center of the city.
Inside, an old shaman woman with tan skin and green eyes was praying in a circle of torches. But then all of the torches went out, leaving the room in darkness. "Hmph" was her only response, thinking it is only an annoyance. That was until on a part of the wall, a red carving glowed just like in the pyramid. The old woman saw this and got up in a rush. She held her staff up and produced a light that shown the rest of the carvings. With a determine look, she headed toward a window overlooking the pyramid hidden in the darkness, knowing that whatever lays there knows the activity too. "The first chosen one has awakened the crystal. Soon, you're nine years of terror to this world will finally be vanquished...Master Maskus!"
World: Quahog
It has been three days since Peter and his friends found the crystal. They were still using it as a side show. At the Griffin's household, everyone was in the kitchen discussing about the crystal.
"You should really bring that crystal to an archaeologist, Peter." Lois explained to Peter.
Peter refused to listen. "No way; besides, it's making more money than my old job that I quit yesterday."
(Cutaway Gag)
Peter is giving the bird to his boss Angela. "Here's an ostrich Angela. Oh and by the way, I quit." Peter walked out of the room.
"He'll be back. Unless they decide to kill me off."
(End Cutaway Gag)
You did WHAT? Lois yelled.
"I quit my job, didn't you see the flashback?"
Peter's son, Chris spoke to him. "Dad, that wasn't a good idea. That crystal is still glowing, it might turn into an evil monkey that is actually evil."
Then Monkey, the last supposedly evil monkey came into the scene. "Chris does have a point there."
"Yeah, or that crystal could get us into a crazy adventure." said Peter's daughter, Meg.
"Shut up Meg, that will never happen." He got up from his chair. "Now if you'll excuse me, it's time to start the side show."
When Peter went outside to open his side show; Chris, Meg, and Monkey began working on a plan to get the dangerous looking crystal to an archaeologist. "We have to get that crystal away from him." said Monkey. "And I have something that could work to distract all those people, and Peter."
Meanwhile, in a child's room in the house, there is a certain baby with a football shaped head...no, not Arnold; it's Stewie Griffin, Peter's youngest child. He was controlling a robot wasp filled with toxins through a device with a screen showing Lois. "With my new invention, I will finally kill Lois, then I will gain enough confident to take over the world and then finally, Victory Shall Be Mine! ... Yep, finally brought that back. Good job there, Stewie."
Stewie controlled the robot wasp to fly down stair toward Lois. When Lois saw the wasp, she swatted it with a fly swatter.
Stewie's eyes popped up as the machine was smashed by an effortless attack. He fell over onto the floor and began crying. "Oh it's hopeless! I will never kill Lois or take over the world. I'll just remain a bisexual that will probably grow up to be a thirty year old virgin that will live in a rundown apartment and who works in an electronic store, than have my past-self making my life worse! Hm, that can be an episode." Stewie dropped his head into his hands. "Oh if only I could have help in being evil." While Stewie was crying, someone was patting him on the head with a strange, flat, fabric like hand.
"There there child...I can still see hope in you, and this world." said the mystery man.
Stewie knocked the hand off. "Oh blankie, cut that out! I told you before that I have Robert the teddy bear. Try to find someone else who's single and-." Then Stewie turned around and saw that it was not a blanket that was comforting him, but someone else. The person was wearing a brown cloak with green strip around the bottom and going down the side of the cloak. He had four hands attached to each sleeve, but its real hands aren't showing. He also has large shoulders with spikes sticking out of them. On its chest there was a green symbol of an eye half-opened. Lastly, Stewie saw that it is wearing a serious and angered looking tribal mask with glowing green eyes. "Ahhhh...who the deuce are you?!"
The mystery person then said, "I am the one that will help you, Stewie." he got closer as Stewie stood up. "You want to take over this world, and I can help you. You shall be my new ally to aid me in my destiny." Stewie nervously asked what the cloaked man's name was. "I am someone that knows what all worlds need. I know what will be and shall be. I am the one that controls an ancient army that will soon be able to eliminate any threat to our perfect world. I am ... Master Maskus!"
When Stewie heard Maskus's name, he broke out laughing. "Mask...us, ah ha ha ha ha ha! You have that kind of name? It's like when I called my pet hermit crab, hermit crab."
(Cutaway Gag)
Stewie is talking to his new pet hermit crab. "Your name is now hermit crab, hermit crab."
The hermit crab looked up to his new owner and said, "You racist prick."
(End Cutaway Gag)
End of Chapter
_______________________________________________

Chapter 2: The Red Crystal Swap
Around Spooner Street, hidden in the shadows beside houses, trees, and mailboxes, green eyes were staring at Peter and his friends working at their sideshow for the red crystal. They continued to spy as the customers gathered to see the red crystal. "Come one, come all to see the most unusual thing on Earth!"
One of the customers then said, "Amazing, a man that can't walk!"
"You BITCH!" Joe threw himself right off his wheel chair and started beating the crap out of him.
The green eyed creatures were finding the fighting very humorous, but then they saw three people coming and ran off without being seen. They were Meg, Chris, and Monkey on the other side of the street.
"Are we all set?" asked Meg.
"Will she shut up?" Chris whispered to himself and then said "Yes."
"But before we go into action, we should go over our plan first so everyone is clear on what we're doing." said Monkey.
Meg unfortunately started explaining the plan. "First, we throw Reeces Pieces on the ground. Once everyone is fighting over the candy, we swap the Red Crystal with the paper mache one with a flashlight inside."
While Meg, Chris, and Monkey were getting ready for their plan, Stewie and Maskus watched the sideshow from Stewie's bedroom window. "So let me get this straight, if I help you get what you call….umm… the Red Cross-Over Crystal; which I don't know why it's called that, you'll help me take over this world?" Stewie asked Maskus.
Maskus glared at the sight of the people paying a large amount of money to Peter. "That is correct; by the way, how can you perfectly talk with only a few teeth?" asked Maskus.
"I think that question is better left unanswered, and for the first thing; excellent! Now how am I going to steal the crystal? Those oaths will spot us the moment we get in, especially you. I mean you're like the love child of the Shredder, Darth Vader, and that Communist over there."
"Hello." said Amon from Legend of Korra.
Maskus looked at the other masked man with confusion, but decided to ignore him. "You see, I will start a fire across the street in that empty house. After that, you will steal the Red Cross-Over Crystal and replace it with a dangerous fake one I have created." Maskus took out the fake crystal. "With my dark magic, I have created…. a paper mache with a flashlight inside. Nothing can go wrong with this plan!"
While Maskus and Stewie started their plan; Meg, Chris, and Monkey were about to spread the Reeces pieces on the ground. Chris walked by and threw the pieces onto the ground. "Oh look, Reeces pieces. I combination of peanut butter and MnM's. Oh boy, anyone would just love to have these in there tummy. Mmmmmmm." Chris took a hand full from the ground and ran off.
When everyone saw them, they began fighting over them. They all shouted to each other, "Their mine!", "Now mine!"
"They all belong to me!" Peter body slammed some of the customers, possibly crushing them to death.
During the fighting, Monkey swapped the real crystal with their paper mache and ran toward the museum with Meg and Chris. "Boy that was easy." said Chris.
"So what are we going to do with the crystal when we get to the museum?" Meg asked monkey.
"Don't worry; I have an archaeologist friend that will find out what the crystal is."
"I hope its Indiana Jones, because I don't think anything cross-overy happened yet with this fanfiction." said Chris.
Right after Chris said that fourth wall joke, a dark portal formed behind them and something came out of it. "All fouth-wallers shall be destro- …. wait a minute." The thing had noticed what the group has. "Is that the Red Cross-Over Crystal, then what's at the sideshow? I better go tell Master Maskus." So the thing jumped back into the portal and left the three alone for now, but it appeared that Mayor Adam West saw the whole thing.
"I knew gnomes existed! And they said searching for them was a waste of tax money."
Meanwhile, back at Spooner Street; Peter was raising the price to $130 when celebrities came for pointless cameos. "Yes, see the crystal and me amazed by it's mysterious glow. Maybe if you tip me, it will grant a wish."
Maskus was inside Cleveland's old house watching Peter. "Peter, will you remain in your sin throughout your life?" Maskus held out his hand and shot a fire ball on the wall. It didn't take long for the fire to spread. "Yes, burn ... help begin the next phase of the prophecy." Maskus escaped into a dark portal as the flames spread outside. Stewie saw the flames as his signal. Everyone looked at the flames and Stewie moved right in to follow their plan, not knowing they will be swapping a paper mache with a paper mache.
Peter saw the fire and yelled out, "Holy crap, Cleveland's old house! He is not going to like this!"
(Cutaway, I guess.)
Cleveland was sitting in his new house watching T.V. Then he sensed something. "I have a horrible feeling that my old castle is on fire."
Just then, Chris came bursting through the door. "Yay, something cross-overy!"
"Go back to Quahog, Chris."
"O.K.!"
(End Cutaway Gag)
When everyone had their attention on the fire, Stewie ran up to the glass case that has the supposedly real crystal and swapped the crystal with the paper mache. "Wow, the Red Crystal sure is as light as the paper mache one, and it even seems like that there is a flashlight in it just like the fake one, …..wait a minute."
While Stewie was examining what he thought was the real crystal, Peter saw this and ran toward Stewie. "Stewie, don't you play with that, its daddy's! I know it doesn't have an 18+ on it, but it's still my money maker!" Peter grabbed the crystal off of Stewie's hands, he noticed it doesn't weigh the same as the real crystal so he started squeezing it which caused it to break revealing the flashlight. "What the hell!?" Peter then looked toward the other fake crystal and then toward Stewie and made a happy face. "Why you clever little thief, thought you can swap the real crystal with a paper mache. I'm so proud of you!"
Lois and Brian took notice of Stewie's behavior. "I knew those video games were evil. Good thing I've voted for someone that will sue those evil companies, whatever his name is." Lois notice that Brian wasn't paying attention. "Brian?"
"Oh, sorry Lois. Something doesn't seem right."
Quagmire joined in. "You probably caught something from your 'wonderful, charming, smart,' hoes you claim to be your soul mates."
"That can't be!" shouted Stewie. So he took the crystal he put in the glass case and broke it just like Peter did. "What the deuce? What the Hell happened to the Cross-Over Crystal! We don't have much time before the Green-Eyes show up. This calls for drastic measures." Stewie took out a necklace with a green eyed emblem on it. "Maskus! We have a huge problem."
"We're sorry, your call cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and dial again."
"Blasted phone jokes!" After waited a bit, Stewie managed to get in contact with Maskus and told him to come right now.
Suddenly Brian stopped arguing with Quagmire. His dog instincts took in and he started barking at nothing. That was when Maskus appearance by slowly coming out of a dark portal, which surprised everyone there. He took notice of his watchers. Knowing that something is very wrong for Stewie to call him in plain site, he asked, "What's wrong Stewie, I was having an amusing conversation with this blonde woman named Julian. A lovely young woman."
"Will this ever stopped?" shouted Brian, remembering about Julian.
Maskus was surprised by Brian talking. "This world has talking animals, oh um I mean neighborhood?"
"Screw that, we have a huge problem here! The real Cross-Over Crystal is gone" Stewie pointed to the remains of the paper maches.
Maskus turned to Peter with his eyes glowing green. "Where is the Red Cross-Over Crystal, overweight American!"
"I don't know?" answered Peter in a childish, scared voice. Then he said with his normal voice, "Wait, Red Cross-Over Crystal, what does that mean?"
Just then, another dark portal appeared and out came a strange creature. The creature is two feet tall, wears an upside down triangle shaped, light khaki colored mask with rounded edges. It also has big round eyes with small green dots and an X shaped mouth. It also has black, bird like legs and feet, with raptor like claws, and a bash of long, black hair sticking out behind the mask. This reminded Peter of the Honeycomb mascot a bit, and of another creature.
"Ahhhhhhhh, a possible Heartless knockoff!"
Maskus floated toward the creature "What is it, Scouter #52? My most trustful minion."
#52 pounded on his mask in respect for Maskus "I'm here to report that a blonde fat boy, an ugly girl or boy, and a talking monkey have the Red Cross-Over Crystal that is vitally needed for your master plan, Master Maskus."
Peter heard this and then stupidly yelled out for Maskus to hear, "So Chris, Monkey, and what her face stole my crystal to give it to a bunch of nerrrdsss so they can lllllearrrrrnnnnn from it. Well not on my watch! Lois, Brian, and Quagmire; come, we're driving to the museum to do something useful unlike last time."
(Cutaway Gag)
Peter is a chaperon for Meg's field trip to the museum. The teacher was explained to the class about a vase. "Everyone, please take note on what is shown on this one of a kind vase, because there is somehow no information on it on the internet and the information is required for you final exam."
Then Peter broke it with a slingshot. "Bullseye!"
"Well you're all screwed."
(End Cutaway Gag)
As they followed Peter's orders despite that some dark wizard is there, Quagmire turned toward Joe and yelled to him, "Hey Joe, are you coming?"
Joe, who was still beating the crap out of the customer, answered, "Go on without me, I still need to finish teaching this BITCH a lesson!"
So Peter, Lois, Brian, and Quagmire drove off to the museum, leaving Maskus, #52, and Stewie behind. "Stewie, why did your parents leave you, their baby, here with someone they don't know and who's dressed like this?" asked Maskus.
"I don't know and I don't give a f**k, but we can use my air ship to get to the museum."
"Good." Maskus turned to #52 and told him, "#52, bring the Scouters and the other master we have here to where you saw those kids and monkey. You will begin your search there. I don't care what damage you cause, just make sure that crystal is perfectly safe!"
"Aye aye master, oh and by the way, if we find a nice woman, can we…you know?"
"You're a sick bastard, a very sick bastard for having those thoughts!"
"Hey I was just going to spread the word not to watch Twilight, not what you were thinking!"
"Oh ummmm good work, you may go now."
Stewie looked at Maskus when #52 left. "So what are you, a joke villain, a serious villain, or an even out villain?" asked Stewie.
Meanwhile after the villains had left, the crowd was still watching Cleveland's old house burning to the ground. "Say, shouldn't we call the fire fighters?"
"Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
End of Chapter

Chapter 3: Robo-Stewie…..Crap I Just Ruined this Chapter's Ending!
At the museum, Meg and Chris are now meeting with Monkey's archeologist friend, who is a familiar person. "Bruce?!" Meg and Chris yelled.
"Hey y'all." Greeted Bruce.
"You're an archeologist?" asked Chris.
"Chris I'm pretty much anything in this town. But you would know that if I actually had my very own episode about me. When will Seth MacFarlane make one?"
(Cutaway)
Seth is reading Peter, Sonic, and Link. The Cross-Over Crystals on his computer. "Oh crap, that was going to be next week's episode! If it's aired, this guy will sue me, and it was going to guest star Chuck Norris!"
(End cutaway)
"Bruce, we brought you this crystal Peter found and we want you to figure out where it came from and what the inscription on it says." explained Monkey as he hands the crystal over to Bruce.
"Okey dokey, but this will take a little bitty moment, so why don't you watch T.V. or something?"
So they walked over to a T.V. with cable that's in the middle of a museum room for some reason and saw a new episode of SpongeBob SquarePants, ugh.
(On T.V.)
On the cartoon, SpongeBob was just shaking keys. "Keys, Keys." He then stopped and started to cry. "Whaaaaa, what is happening to Nickelodeon!" Suddenly he started freaking out and started behaving normally. "Keys, Keys, watch me for Nickelodeon!"
But then an emergency news bulletin came on showing Tom Tucker. "Hello, I'm Tom Tucker here with an emergency message. Quahog is under attack by Trick or Treaters, Gremlins, the 'Honeycomb mascot' or Heartless knock-offs and….. O.K. does anyone know what a Heartless is?"
"They're video game enemies from a game series called Kingdom Hearts which is made by Disney and Square Enix." explained someone off screen.
"Disney!? Then we have nothing to worry about, they can only make things family friendly. It's not like they've ever made a dark book into a movie like ummm 'The Hunch Back of Notre Dame' or how about in a sequel of that game, Goofy supposedly gets killed in front of everyone and Mickey will take out a sword and run strait into a great big war to avenge Goofy with Donald with an epic background music. Yep, that will never happen."
(End T.V.)
Meanwhile, Peter was driving toward the museum with Lois, Brian, and Quagmire. They gazed at the city as the Scouters that Maskus sent are destroying. "Oh no!" Lois screamed, "Those heartless wannabes are ruining Quahog."
"Lois, people still say wannabe today?" asked Brian.
Peter then answered Lois, "Yeah; and something tells me that this is all that Darth Vader/Shredder rip-off's fault."
"You think." Brian sarcastically asked.
"Yep, but I also think that those little guys are p*ssies, everyone watch this!" Peter stepped on the gas pedal to run over two Scouters and the road. Then the two shot lasers out of their mouths that blew up the car; sending Peter and the gang flying out and landing on the ground, leaving Quagmire upset that he didn't end up having Lois land on him. When Peter got up, he saw the damage to his car. So he turned to the readers and said, "Wah Waaah wwwwwaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh… hey we're at the museum!" Lucky for them that they just happened to land in front of the museum, so they all got up and went inside. "Alright Nerd, face the wrath of Peter Griffin!"
While that was going on, Maskus and Stewie saw this on a screen in Stewie's airship which was two miles away. "Maskus, we are close to the museum, and the Fat Man got there before us….even though we're in an airship….and they are in a car driving through town….with all that chaos going on down there…..(sigh) only on Family Guy."
After Stewie finished, the Scouter, #52, came out from a dark portal in the airship with an angry attitude. "Did you tell him not to say any fourth-wall jokes, Master Maskus!?"
"Hey calm down man, what do you have against them anyways?" asked Stewie.
"Don't mind him about this 'Fourth Wall' nonsense, but the rest of my kind also dislike them. One of them is that they make stories less special."
"I think I understand, like how they ruined 'Brandy and Mr. Whiskers' to me."
(Cutaway)
Stewie is watching Brandy and Mr. Whiskers an T.V. Mr. Whiskers said to Brandy, "Don't worry Brandy, I will get you out of this jungle, whether the producers like it or not!"
"It doesn't seem that special anymore."
(End Cutaway)
Back at the museum, Bruce came back with the crystal to the teens and Monkey what he have learned. "So did you figure out anything?" asked Monkey.
"Not exactly, the words are very similar to ancient Central American writing like the Mayans, but not the same. I've also discovered that under below the inscription, there is little green eye marking secretly watching you. Hello little green eye, I can see you too."
"So that thing probably came from Central America?" asked Meg.
"Yes, someone must have lost it here. But the mystery is what kind of people left this. This could be some hidden kingdom from Central America."
"Or another world." said Chris. "I'm just saying."
Just then, you know who came bursting through the door, with his group following him. Actually you could be thinking of either Peter or Maskus, it's Peter. "All right nerd, hand over myCross-Over Crystal and no one will…..Bruce, your and archaeologist?
"I already explained myself to your kids, and this glowing little rock now belongs to the museum."
Peter tried getting the crystal back, but Bruce held it up over him. Peter attempted to jump for it like a kid. While that was going on, the rest of the group talked about the crystal. "So did Bruce find anything about it?" asked Brian.
"He told us that it could have come from some unknown race of people from Central America." said Monkey. Monkey looked at Peter and realized he had called it a Cross-Over Crystal. "Did Peter gave the crystal a name."
"Nope, that what's the creepy guy said." explained Quagmire.
"Creepy guy?" Chris, Meg, and Monkey asked.
Lois took over and told them how he entered from a dark portal and ordered his minions to destroy the city to get the crystal. "You know, I feel like I've made a huge mistake that only Peter would be dumb enough to make." said Lois.
"Where's Stewie?" asked Chris.
The struggle between Peter and Bruce was still going on. "Come on, give it!" said Peter.
"Sorry Peter, this is property to the museum now." explained Bruce.
"No, mine!"
"The museum!"
"Mine!"
"Museum!"
"Museum!"
"Why thank you for your cooperation."
"Hey, your's supposed to say it belongs to me like in the Loony Tunes!"
"You are both wrong!" Right through the roof, Stewie's airship came crashing in. The door opened and Stewie, #52, and Maskus came out. Maskus's eyes were glowing green and electric bursts were coming out of his body. "The Red Cross-Over Crystal belongs to me, 'Maskus, Master of the Death Masks'!"
"MASKus?" shouted Chris before bursting out with laughter. "Ah hahahaha, you have that kind of name!?"
Peter then joined in, "Yeah, heah heah heah heah heah heah heah! He's also a Darth Vader/Shredder knock-off." Even #52 and Stewie started to chuckle at the Darth Vader/Shredder part.
"Shut the hell up!" Maskus yelled. He snapped his cloak hands and three Scouters appeared. They hopped around the group as Peter was getting ready for a fight.
"So they wants to fight huh, well we'll show them." Peter turned to Brian and Quagmire, "Let's beat the crap out of them!"
Quagmire responded by taking out a weapon. "This will be a great opportunity to use my new weapon, the Giggity Basooka!"
Peter thought that was a horrible plan. "No Glen, no one wants to see your penis!"
Quagmire froze and glared at Peter for five seconds. "Peter, I was talking about this medium sized, not suggestive looking, actual bazooka. Not everything in my life involves sex! I have hobbies and feelings just like everyone else." So the three charged right at the Scouters.
(Fight)
"Who the hell said fight?" asked Peter.
Peter quickly attacked one of the Scouters. The Scouter jumped at Peter to slash him with its claws, but Peter punched it in the face. Brian started chasing the second one while barking at it. Quagmire was using his bazooka to shoot the third one, but it kept dodging his attacks and then it shot a laser at Quagmire's left arm. So Quagmire shot another missile and shouted out to the Scouter, "Say good night!" The missile exploded in the Scouter's mask, causing it to break which then caused the Scouter break into pieces. Then a dark portal formed under the pieces and sucked them in, and then disappeared.
Brian got a hold of the Scouter he was chasing and began shaking it violently. After the enemy became dizzy, Brian threw it at the Scouter that Peter was fighting, causing them to be knock out cold. Peter rubbed his hands and said, "Great, now to use what I was saving all day." Peter turned around, and gave a big fart. The fart cloud spread to the two Scouters, causing them to break apart and get sucked in the black portal.
(Victory)
"Victory, what the hell!? This is a fanfiction, not a video game!"
#52 started jumping up and down in anger. "First they've defeated three of my comrades, and now the fat one made…..A…FOURTH….WALL…..JOKE! I'LL KILL YOU ALL! #52 attempted to dart right after Peter, but Maskus quickly grab his hair to pull him back.
"Settle yourself down. We can still repair them, and this isn't over yet." Maskus turned to Stewie, who is now in his airship, "Now Stewie!" Stewie activated a robot arm from the airship and took the Red Cross-Over Crystal out of Bruce's hands and gave it to Maskus. "Well done, Stewie!" said Maskus, "Now, are you ready for a little bit of my help?"
"Yes sir!"
Maskus casts a spell on the airship, it began glowing green and shaped shifted in to a giant robot Stewie while Maskus and #52 escaped. "Ha ha ha, victory shall be mine!" Stewie yelled with high hopes for his return to evil.
"Stewie, don't play with that, you might hurt us!" warned Lois as Brian just rolled his eyes.
Seeing the new danger, Peter told them what to do. "Well guys, looks like another fight.:
"But we already fought, can't we take a break?" asked Quagmire.
Stewie heard Quagmire and yelled out, "No, you cant just take a break. You're more lazy than a kid's T.V. Network."
(Cutaway)
There are T.V. producers at a meeting. One producer said, "So it is settle, we'll make a show about teenagers forming a band." Then another producer said, "We already made five shows like that." Then the other producer said, "Shut up, It makes more money and cost less! Why do you think 'The Smurfs' took place in the real world?"
(End Cutaway)
"Hey, why is my name not considered an actual name for 'Microsoft Word'?" asked Stewie.

End of Chapter

Description
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This was originally posted on fanfictionDOTnet in 2012. This has been updates several times and the original one is currently being updated.
Peter, Sonic, and Link: The Cross-over Crystals By Godzilla2915
Chapter 1: Peter and the Red Crystal

World: Quahog
In a peaceful city called Quahog, there is a lovely and safe street call Spooner Street. On this street, everyone has well and perfect lives, where everyone takes good care of their children and listen to their smart and responsible spouses, and where people who tries and steal this story or any ideas are gay and then will gets vasectomies, and…and… ah ha ha ha ha ha!
"Ok ok, you got me. That was all a lie, except the stealing part! Hello, my name is Peter Griffin. I would love to describe what I look like, but you guys already know that since you are all teenagers or older, you have all watched Family Guy and pretty much know who everyone is. But if you are younger than a teenager, GET THE HELL OFF THIS FANFICTION! Your parents will not want you reading this! So you should do something else your smart and wise parents will allow you to do, like play Call of Duty...The sex addition. Now that the intro is out of the way, I will show you all why my description of Spooner Street is a lie." Peter took out a remote and then pressed a button.
(BOOM)
The explosion shook Peter's entire house. We then see Peter's wife, Lois Griffin, running out of their house through the front door. "PETER GRIFFIN, what the hell are you doing!"
Peter started acting snooty to his wife "Well for your information Lois, me and the gang are digging in the front yard to search for buried treasure." explained Peter as he points to his friends digging while oblivious to how Lois is acting to all this.
"What makes you think there's buried treasure in our front yard!"
Peter now has a large American flag flapping behind him and started giving a speech. "Because that is the American way. It is our duty (heah heah heah) to get rich and fat, and were women can read evil books about a stupid girl wanting a threesome with pitiful excuses for a vampire and a werewolf, and were almost all the movies these days are remakes, the government always laugh everytime someone says we have rights of our own."
"But what does that have to do with… You know what, screw it. I don't want to get a migraine."
So Lois went back into the house to leave the gang; which includes Peter, Joe, Quagmire, and Brian, back to digging. Two hours had past and the gang dug one hundred feet below the surface. Everyone, except Peter, stared getting tired from digging. Joe was the first to speak out. "Peter, we've been digging for hours. Can we stop now?"
"Not until we find treasure, or we dig straight to hell and barge in on a Michael Jackson concert."
(Cutaway Gag)
Michael Jackson is singing 'Thriller' in a stadium filled with demons. one demon said, "This guy's too talented to torture."
"But it's still kind of mess up he's a pedo." said another demon.
(End Cutaway Gag)
"Peter, when will you ever learn?" asked Brian in a annoyed tone.
"Hey, Michael Jackson IS in hell, he's still a pedophile." Peter said.
Brian then commented as the raging atheist he is, "No not that, nothing about any religion is real, and they cause nothing but most of our world's problems."
"F**k you Brian, people have rights to their faiths and their opinions and who are you to judge? You f**king piece of sh*t. And stop sh*ting on my lawn!"
"Oh looks you talking." Brian folded his arms. "I've done a lot of crap, but not as many Korean women you're holding captive in your suitcase ... which we're not doing anything about."
While Brian and Quagmire are arguing, Peter hit something hard with his shovel. "Hey I think I hit something?" So everyone started digging where the object is. "Oh boy, I hope it's a new tooth. I always loose teeth when I was a kid and every time they go under my pillow, it disappears. Then some loser left their dollar there."
After the dirt was cleared, Peter picked the object up and brushed off the remaining dirt. Peter's eyes widen with amazement at his new treasure. It is a red crystal roughly twice the size as a football that was giving of heat. Peter showed the crystal to his friends. They gathered around and felt the warmth it was giving off.
"It's amazing!" said Joe.
"It's fantastic!" said Brian.
"It's warm, giggity." you know who said.
"IT'S THE DARK CRYSTAL! Quick, hide it from the Skeksis!" Brian looked up at Peter and told him otherwise.
"Peter that was just in a movie and the Dark Crystal is not red, whatever red looks like. But there is something mysterious about this. …. Anyone here ever watched that movie?" As everyone answered no, Brian got a closer look at the crystal. "There appears to be an inscription on it, but I can't make it out. We should bring it to the museum."
But Peter gave Brian a different idea. "Screw that, Brian. We should have people pay money to see it. We'll be loaded!"
Brian shook his head. "That is a stupid idea. You can't just ... Peter." Brian looked around and found that Peter was no in the hole.
Peter already had set up a stand back above ground with the crystal in a glass case in just under a few seconds. "Step right up to see the mysterious crystal for only $50 bucks!" Then the sunlight shined on the crystal, which caused it to start glowing. Peter turned to the crystal and noticed what is happening. "Make that $100 bucks!"
Quagmire and Brian helped Joe up and they saw people paying Peter money. Joe and Quagmire went to Peter and saw all the cash. "Woah, your making twice as much than your job." complemented Joe.
Peter looked at all the money he was getting. Greed filled his mind. "This crystal is a miracle, and not those boring ones Jesus did, except that wine one. I just know that from now on, this baby will bring happiness in my life!"
World: Unknown
In a dark and vast underground world were the only light sources are scarce crystal shards sticking out of the ground and ceiling, there is a Central American style pyramid. In the pyramid there is a room that has a wall with writing on it, similar to the one on the red crystal, which also included pictures. One picture had three objects in it, one of which started glowing red.
Afterwards, someone came walking into the room while making metal clinking noises with his feet. With a bored look in his glowing green eyes, he slowly turned his head and noticed the phenomena. "...Can it be?" He got closer to the carving and stared into the glow. He placed a flat hand on the carving and felt its warmth. "It is ... our destiny has finally started!" His horrifying voice echoed through the room. In the dark shadows, green eyes began glowing. The tall figure turned and looked at the eyes. "What we have been waiting and preparing for so long have finally begun, the first crystal has been activated!" He held out his arms which appeared to have four hands on each. "My followers; prepare yourself to travel to the home world of the 'fat man of resistance' for a little...visit!"
Meanwhile, far away from the pyramid, there is a city made of green stone. It has many more light producing shards than the pyramid has. A large palace with a statue of a giant green eye above the main entrance stood at the center of the city.
Inside, an old shaman woman with tan skin and green eyes was praying in a circle of torches. But then all of the torches went out, leaving the room in darkness. "Hmph" was her only response, thinking it is only an annoyance. That was until on a part of the wall, a red carving glowed just like in the pyramid. The old woman saw this and got up in a rush. She held her staff up and produced a light that shown the rest of the carvings. With a determine look, she headed toward a window overlooking the pyramid hidden in the darkness, knowing that whatever lays there knows the activity too. "The first chosen one has awakened the crystal. Soon, you're nine years of terror to this world will finally be vanquished...Master Maskus!"
World: Quahog
It has been three days since Peter and his friends found the crystal. They were still using it as a side show. At the Griffin's household, everyone was in the kitchen discussing about the crystal.
"You should really bring that crystal to an archaeologist, Peter." Lois explained to Peter.
Peter refused to listen. "No way; besides, it's making more money than my old job that I quit yesterday."
(Cutaway Gag)
Peter is giving the bird to his boss Angela. "Here's an ostrich Angela. Oh and by the way, I quit." Peter walked out of the room.
"He'll be back. Unless they decide to kill me off."
(End Cutaway Gag)
You did WHAT? Lois yelled.
"I quit my job, didn't you see the flashback?"
Peter's son, Chris spoke to him. "Dad, that wasn't a good idea. That crystal is still glowing, it might turn into an evil monkey that is actually evil."
Then Monkey, the last supposedly evil monkey came into the scene. "Chris does have a point there."
"Yeah, or that crystal could get us into a crazy adventure." said Peter's daughter, Meg.
"Shut up Meg, that will never happen." He got up from his chair. "Now if you'll excuse me, it's time to start the side show."
When Peter went outside to open his side show; Chris, Meg, and Monkey began working on a plan to get the dangerous looking crystal to an archaeologist. "We have to get that crystal away from him." said Monkey. "And I have something that could work to distract all those people, and Peter."
Meanwhile, in a child's room in the house, there is a certain baby with a football shaped head...no, not Arnold; it's Stewie Griffin, Peter's youngest child. He was controlling a robot wasp filled with toxins through a device with a screen showing Lois. "With my new invention, I will finally kill Lois, then I will gain enough confident to take over the world and then finally, Victory Shall Be Mine! ... Yep, finally brought that back. Good job there, Stewie."
Stewie controlled the robot wasp to fly down stair toward Lois. When Lois saw the wasp, she swatted it with a fly swatter.
Stewie's eyes popped up as the machine was smashed by an effortless attack. He fell over onto the floor and began crying. "Oh it's hopeless! I will never kill Lois or take over the world. I'll just remain a bisexual that will probably grow up to be a thirty year old virgin that will live in a rundown apartment and who works in an electronic store, than have my past-self making my life worse! Hm, that can be an episode." Stewie dropped his head into his hands. "Oh if only I could have help in being evil." While Stewie was crying, someone was patting him on the head with a strange, flat, fabric like hand.
"There there child...I can still see hope in you, and this world." said the mystery man.
Stewie knocked the hand off. "Oh blankie, cut that out! I told you before that I have Robert the teddy bear. Try to find someone else who's single and-." Then Stewie turned around and saw that it was not a blanket that was comforting him, but someone else. The person was wearing a brown cloak with green strip around the bottom and going down the side of the cloak. He had four hands attached to each sleeve, but its real hands aren't showing. He also has large shoulders with spikes sticking out of them. On its chest there was a green symbol of an eye half-opened. Lastly, Stewie saw that it is wearing a serious and angered looking tribal mask with glowing green eyes. "Ahhhh...who the deuce are you?!"
The mystery person then said, "I am the one that will help you, Stewie." he got closer as Stewie stood up. "You want to take over this world, and I can help you. You shall be my new ally to aid me in my destiny." Stewie nervously asked what the cloaked man's name was. "I am someone that knows what all worlds need. I know what will be and shall be. I am the one that controls an ancient army that will soon be able to eliminate any threat to our perfect world. I am ... Master Maskus!"
When Stewie heard Maskus's name, he broke out laughing. "Mask...us, ah ha ha ha ha ha! You have that kind of name? It's like when I called my pet hermit crab, hermit crab."
(Cutaway Gag)
Stewie is talking to his new pet hermit crab. "Your name is now hermit crab, hermit crab."
The hermit crab looked up to his new owner and said, "You racist prick."
(End Cutaway Gag)
End of Chapter
_______________________________________________

Chapter 2: The Red Crystal Swap
Around Spooner Street, hidden in the shadows beside houses, trees, and mailboxes, green eyes were staring at Peter and his friends working at their sideshow for the red crystal. They continued to spy as the customers gathered to see the red crystal. "Come one, come all to see the most unusual thing on Earth!"
One of the customers then said, "Amazing, a man that can't walk!"
"You BITCH!" Joe threw himself right off his wheel chair and started beating the crap out of him.
The green eyed creatures were finding the fighting very humorous, but then they saw three people coming and ran off without being seen. They were Meg, Chris, and Monkey on the other side of the street.
"Are we all set?" asked Meg.
"Will she shut up?" Chris whispered to himself and then said "Yes."
"But before we go into action, we should go over our plan first so everyone is clear on what we're doing." said Monkey.
Meg unfortunately started explaining the plan. "First, we throw Reeces Pieces on the ground. Once everyone is fighting over the candy, we swap the Red Crystal with the paper mache one with a flashlight inside."
While Meg, Chris, and Monkey were getting ready for their plan, Stewie and Maskus watched the sideshow from Stewie's bedroom window. "So let me get this straight, if I help you get what you call….umm… the Red Cross-Over Crystal; which I don't know why it's called that, you'll help me take over this world?" Stewie asked Maskus.
Maskus glared at the sight of the people paying a large amount of money to Peter. "That is correct; by the way, how can you perfectly talk with only a few teeth?" asked Maskus.
"I think that question is better left unanswered, and for the first thing; excellent! Now how am I going to steal the crystal? Those oaths will spot us the moment we get in, especially you. I mean you're like the love child of the Shredder, Darth Vader, and that Communist over there."
"Hello." said Amon from Legend of Korra.
Maskus looked at the other masked man with confusion, but decided to ignore him. "You see, I will start a fire across the street in that empty house. After that, you will steal the Red Cross-Over Crystal and replace it with a dangerous fake one I have created." Maskus took out the fake crystal. "With my dark magic, I have created…. a paper mache with a flashlight inside. Nothing can go wrong with this plan!"
While Maskus and Stewie started their plan; Meg, Chris, and Monkey were about to spread the Reeces pieces on the ground. Chris walked by and threw the pieces onto the ground. "Oh look, Reeces pieces. I combination of peanut butter and MnM's. Oh boy, anyone would just love to have these in there tummy. Mmmmmmm." Chris took a hand full from the ground and ran off.
When everyone saw them, they began fighting over them. They all shouted to each other, "Their mine!", "Now mine!"
"They all belong to me!" Peter body slammed some of the customers, possibly crushing them to death.
During the fighting, Monkey swapped the real crystal with their paper mache and ran toward the museum with Meg and Chris. "Boy that was easy." said Chris.
"So what are we going to do with the crystal when we get to the museum?" Meg asked monkey.
"Don't worry; I have an archaeologist friend that will find out what the crystal is."
"I hope its Indiana Jones, because I don't think anything cross-overy happened yet with this fanfiction." said Chris.
Right after Chris said that fourth wall joke, a dark portal formed behind them and something came out of it. "All fouth-wallers shall be destro- …. wait a minute." The thing had noticed what the group has. "Is that the Red Cross-Over Crystal, then what's at the sideshow? I better go tell Master Maskus." So the thing jumped back into the portal and left the three alone for now, but it appeared that Mayor Adam West saw the whole thing.
"I knew gnomes existed! And they said searching for them was a waste of tax money."
Meanwhile, back at Spooner Street; Peter was raising the price to $130 when celebrities came for pointless cameos. "Yes, see the crystal and me amazed by it's mysterious glow. Maybe if you tip me, it will grant a wish."
Maskus was inside Cleveland's old house watching Peter. "Peter, will you remain in your sin throughout your life?" Maskus held out his hand and shot a fire ball on the wall. It didn't take long for the fire to spread. "Yes, burn ... help begin the next phase of the prophecy." Maskus escaped into a dark portal as the flames spread outside. Stewie saw the flames as his signal. Everyone looked at the flames and Stewie moved right in to follow their plan, not knowing they will be swapping a paper mache with a paper mache.
Peter saw the fire and yelled out, "Holy crap, Cleveland's old house! He is not going to like this!"
(Cutaway, I guess.)
Cleveland was sitting in his new house watching T.V. Then he sensed something. "I have a horrible feeling that my old castle is on fire."
Just then, Chris came bursting through the door. "Yay, something cross-overy!"
"Go back to Quahog, Chris."
"O.K.!"
(End Cutaway Gag)
When everyone had their attention on the fire, Stewie ran up to the glass case that has the supposedly real crystal and swapped the crystal with the paper mache. "Wow, the Red Crystal sure is as light as the paper mache one, and it even seems like that there is a flashlight in it just like the fake one, …..wait a minute."
While Stewie was examining what he thought was the real crystal, Peter saw this and ran toward Stewie. "Stewie, don't you play with that, its daddy's! I know it doesn't have an 18+ on it, but it's still my money maker!" Peter grabbed the crystal off of Stewie's hands, he noticed it doesn't weigh the same as the real crystal so he started squeezing it which caused it to break revealing the flashlight. "What the hell!?" Peter then looked toward the other fake crystal and then toward Stewie and made a happy face. "Why you clever little thief, thought you can swap the real crystal with a paper mache. I'm so proud of you!"
Lois and Brian took notice of Stewie's behavior. "I knew those video games were evil. Good thing I've voted for someone that will sue those evil companies, whatever his name is." Lois notice that Brian wasn't paying attention. "Brian?"
"Oh, sorry Lois. Something doesn't seem right."
Quagmire joined in. "You probably caught something from your 'wonderful, charming, smart,' hoes you claim to be your soul mates."
"That can't be!" shouted Stewie. So he took the crystal he put in the glass case and broke it just like Peter did. "What the deuce? What the Hell happened to the Cross-Over Crystal! We don't have much time before the Green-Eyes show up. This calls for drastic measures." Stewie took out a necklace with a green eyed emblem on it. "Maskus! We have a huge problem."
"We're sorry, your call cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and dial again."
"Blasted phone jokes!" After waited a bit, Stewie managed to get in contact with Maskus and told him to come right now.
Suddenly Brian stopped arguing with Quagmire. His dog instincts took in and he started barking at nothing. That was when Maskus appearance by slowly coming out of a dark portal, which surprised everyone there. He took notice of his watchers. Knowing that something is very wrong for Stewie to call him in plain site, he asked, "What's wrong Stewie, I was having an amusing conversation with this blonde woman named Julian. A lovely young woman."
"Will this ever stopped?" shouted Brian, remembering about Julian.
Maskus was surprised by Brian talking. "This world has talking animals, oh um I mean neighborhood?"
"Screw that, we have a huge problem here! The real Cross-Over Crystal is gone" Stewie pointed to the remains of the paper maches.
Maskus turned to Peter with his eyes glowing green. "Where is the Red Cross-Over Crystal, overweight American!"
"I don't know?" answered Peter in a childish, scared voice. Then he said with his normal voice, "Wait, Red Cross-Over Crystal, what does that mean?"
Just then, another dark portal appeared and out came a strange creature. The creature is two feet tall, wears an upside down triangle shaped, light khaki colored mask with rounded edges. It also has big round eyes with small green dots and an X shaped mouth. It also has black, bird like legs and feet, with raptor like claws, and a bash of long, black hair sticking out behind the mask. This reminded Peter of the Honeycomb mascot a bit, and of another creature.
"Ahhhhhhhh, a possible Heartless knockoff!"
Maskus floated toward the creature "What is it, Scouter #52? My most trustful minion."
#52 pounded on his mask in respect for Maskus "I'm here to report that a blonde fat boy, an ugly girl or boy, and a talking monkey have the Red Cross-Over Crystal that is vitally needed for your master plan, Master Maskus."
Peter heard this and then stupidly yelled out for Maskus to hear, "So Chris, Monkey, and what her face stole my crystal to give it to a bunch of nerrrdsss so they can lllllearrrrrnnnnn from it. Well not on my watch! Lois, Brian, and Quagmire; come, we're driving to the museum to do something useful unlike last time."
(Cutaway Gag)
Peter is a chaperon for Meg's field trip to the museum. The teacher was explained to the class about a vase. "Everyone, please take note on what is shown on this one of a kind vase, because there is somehow no information on it on the internet and the information is required for you final exam."
Then Peter broke it with a slingshot. "Bullseye!"
"Well you're all screwed."
(End Cutaway Gag)
As they followed Peter's orders despite that some dark wizard is there, Quagmire turned toward Joe and yelled to him, "Hey Joe, are you coming?"
Joe, who was still beating the crap out of the customer, answered, "Go on without me, I still need to finish teaching this BITCH a lesson!"
So Peter, Lois, Brian, and Quagmire drove off to the museum, leaving Maskus, #52, and Stewie behind. "Stewie, why did your parents leave you, their baby, here with someone they don't know and who's dressed like this?" asked Maskus.
"I don't know and I don't give a f**k, but we can use my air ship to get to the museum."
"Good." Maskus turned to #52 and told him, "#52, bring the Scouters and the other master we have here to where you saw those kids and monkey. You will begin your search there. I don't care what damage you cause, just make sure that crystal is perfectly safe!"
"Aye aye master, oh and by the way, if we find a nice woman, can we…you know?"
"You're a sick bastard, a very sick bastard for having those thoughts!"
"Hey I was just going to spread the word not to watch Twilight, not what you were thinking!"
"Oh ummmm good work, you may go now."
Stewie looked at Maskus when #52 left. "So what are you, a joke villain, a serious villain, or an even out villain?" asked Stewie.
Meanwhile after the villains had left, the crowd was still watching Cleveland's old house burning to the ground. "Say, shouldn't we call the fire fighters?"
"Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
End of Chapter

Chapter 3: Robo-Stewie…..Crap I Just Ruined this Chapter's Ending!
At the museum, Meg and Chris are now meeting with Monkey's archeologist friend, who is a familiar person. "Bruce?!" Meg and Chris yelled.
"Hey y'all." Greeted Bruce.
"You're an archeologist?" asked Chris.
"Chris I'm pretty much anything in this town. But you would know that if I actually had my very own episode about me. When will Seth MacFarlane make one?"
(Cutaway)
Seth is reading Peter, Sonic, and Link. The Cross-Over Crystals on his computer. "Oh crap, that was going to be next week's episode! If it's aired, this guy will sue me, and it was going to guest star Chuck Norris!"
(End cutaway)
"Bruce, we brought you this crystal Peter found and we want you to figure out where it came from and what the inscription on it says." explained Monkey as he hands the crystal over to Bruce.
"Okey dokey, but this will take a little bitty moment, so why don't you watch T.V. or something?"
So they walked over to a T.V. with cable that's in the middle of a museum room for some reason and saw a new episode of SpongeBob SquarePants, ugh.
(On T.V.)
On the cartoon, SpongeBob was just shaking keys. "Keys, Keys." He then stopped and started to cry. "Whaaaaa, what is happening to Nickelodeon!" Suddenly he started freaking out and started behaving normally. "Keys, Keys, watch me for Nickelodeon!"
But then an emergency news bulletin came on showing Tom Tucker. "Hello, I'm Tom Tucker here with an emergency message. Quahog is under attack by Trick or Treaters, Gremlins, the 'Honeycomb mascot' or Heartless knock-offs and….. O.K. does anyone know what a Heartless is?"
"They're video game enemies from a game series called Kingdom Hearts which is made by Disney and Square Enix." explained someone off screen.
"Disney!? Then we have nothing to worry about, they can only make things family friendly. It's not like they've ever made a dark book into a movie like ummm 'The Hunch Back of Notre Dame' or how about in a sequel of that game, Goofy supposedly gets killed in front of everyone and Mickey will take out a sword and run strait into a great big war to avenge Goofy with Donald with an epic background music. Yep, that will never happen."
(End T.V.)
Meanwhile, Peter was driving toward the museum with Lois, Brian, and Quagmire. They gazed at the city as the Scouters that Maskus sent are destroying. "Oh no!" Lois screamed, "Those heartless wannabes are ruining Quahog."
"Lois, people still say wannabe today?" asked Brian.
Peter then answered Lois, "Yeah; and something tells me that this is all that Darth Vader/Shredder rip-off's fault."
"You think." Brian sarcastically asked.
"Yep, but I also think that those little guys are p*ssies, everyone watch this!" Peter stepped on the gas pedal to run over two Scouters and the road. Then the two shot lasers out of their mouths that blew up the car; sending Peter and the gang flying out and landing on the ground, leaving Quagmire upset that he didn't end up having Lois land on him. When Peter got up, he saw the damage to his car. So he turned to the readers and said, "Wah Waaah wwwwwaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh… hey we're at the museum!" Lucky for them that they just happened to land in front of the museum, so they all got up and went inside. "Alright Nerd, face the wrath of Peter Griffin!"
While that was going on, Maskus and Stewie saw this on a screen in Stewie's airship which was two miles away. "Maskus, we are close to the museum, and the Fat Man got there before us….even though we're in an airship….and they are in a car driving through town….with all that chaos going on down there…..(sigh) only on Family Guy."
After Stewie finished, the Scouter, #52, came out from a dark portal in the airship with an angry attitude. "Did you tell him not to say any fourth-wall jokes, Master Maskus!?"
"Hey calm down man, what do you have against them anyways?" asked Stewie.
"Don't mind him about this 'Fourth Wall' nonsense, but the rest of my kind also dislike them. One of them is that they make stories less special."
"I think I understand, like how they ruined 'Brandy and Mr. Whiskers' to me."
(Cutaway)
Stewie is watching Brandy and Mr. Whiskers an T.V. Mr. Whiskers said to Brandy, "Don't worry Brandy, I will get you out of this jungle, whether the producers like it or not!"
"It doesn't seem that special anymore."
(End Cutaway)
Back at the museum, Bruce came back with the crystal to the teens and Monkey what he have learned. "So did you figure out anything?" asked Monkey.
"Not exactly, the words are very similar to ancient Central American writing like the Mayans, but not the same. I've also discovered that under below the inscription, there is little green eye marking secretly watching you. Hello little green eye, I can see you too."
"So that thing probably came from Central America?" asked Meg.
"Yes, someone must have lost it here. But the mystery is what kind of people left this. This could be some hidden kingdom from Central America."
"Or another world." said Chris. "I'm just saying."
Just then, you know who came bursting through the door, with his group following him. Actually you could be thinking of either Peter or Maskus, it's Peter. "All right nerd, hand over myCross-Over Crystal and no one will…..Bruce, your and archaeologist?
"I already explained myself to your kids, and this glowing little rock now belongs to the museum."
Peter tried getting the crystal back, but Bruce held it up over him. Peter attempted to jump for it like a kid. While that was going on, the rest of the group talked about the crystal. "So did Bruce find anything about it?" asked Brian.
"He told us that it could have come from some unknown race of people from Central America." said Monkey. Monkey looked at Peter and realized he had called it a Cross-Over Crystal. "Did Peter gave the crystal a name."
"Nope, that what's the creepy guy said." explained Quagmire.
"Creepy guy?" Chris, Meg, and Monkey asked.
Lois took over and told them how he entered from a dark portal and ordered his minions to destroy the city to get the crystal. "You know, I feel like I've made a huge mistake that only Peter would be dumb enough to make." said Lois.
"Where's Stewie?" asked Chris.
The struggle between Peter and Bruce was still going on. "Come on, give it!" said Peter.
"Sorry Peter, this is property to the museum now." explained Bruce.
"No, mine!"
"The museum!"
"Mine!"
"Museum!"
"Museum!"
"Why thank you for your cooperation."
"Hey, your's supposed to say it belongs to me like in the Loony Tunes!"
"You are both wrong!" Right through the roof, Stewie's airship came crashing in. The door opened and Stewie, #52, and Maskus came out. Maskus's eyes were glowing green and electric bursts were coming out of his body. "The Red Cross-Over Crystal belongs to me, 'Maskus, Master of the Death Masks'!"
"MASKus?" shouted Chris before bursting out with laughter. "Ah hahahaha, you have that kind of name!?"
Peter then joined in, "Yeah, heah heah heah heah heah heah heah! He's also a Darth Vader/Shredder knock-off." Even #52 and Stewie started to chuckle at the Darth Vader/Shredder part.
"Shut the hell up!" Maskus yelled. He snapped his cloak hands and three Scouters appeared. They hopped around the group as Peter was getting ready for a fight.
"So they wants to fight huh, well we'll show them." Peter turned to Brian and Quagmire, "Let's beat the crap out of them!"
Quagmire responded by taking out a weapon. "This will be a great opportunity to use my new weapon, the Giggity Basooka!"
Peter thought that was a horrible plan. "No Glen, no one wants to see your penis!"
Quagmire froze and glared at Peter for five seconds. "Peter, I was talking about this medium sized, not suggestive looking, actual bazooka. Not everything in my life involves sex! I have hobbies and feelings just like everyone else." So the three charged right at the Scouters.
(Fight)
"Who the hell said fight?" asked Peter.
Peter quickly attacked one of the Scouters. The Scouter jumped at Peter to slash him with its claws, but Peter punched it in the face. Brian started chasing the second one while barking at it. Quagmire was using his bazooka to shoot the third one, but it kept dodging his attacks and then it shot a laser at Quagmire's left arm. So Quagmire shot another missile and shouted out to the Scouter, "Say good night!" The missile exploded in the Scouter's mask, causing it to break which then caused the Scouter break into pieces. Then a dark portal formed under the pieces and sucked them in, and then disappeared.
Brian got a hold of the Scouter he was chasing and began shaking it violently. After the enemy became dizzy, Brian threw it at the Scouter that Peter was fighting, causing them to be knock out cold. Peter rubbed his hands and said, "Great, now to use what I was saving all day." Peter turned around, and gave a big fart. The fart cloud spread to the two Scouters, causing them to break apart and get sucked in the black portal.
(Victory)
"Victory, what the hell!? This is a fanfiction, not a video game!"
#52 started jumping up and down in anger. "First they've defeated three of my comrades, and now the fat one made…..A…FOURTH….WALL…..JOKE! I'LL KILL YOU ALL! #52 attempted to dart right after Peter, but Maskus quickly grab his hair to pull him back.
"Settle yourself down. We can still repair them, and this isn't over yet." Maskus turned to Stewie, who is now in his airship, "Now Stewie!" Stewie activated a robot arm from the airship and took the Red Cross-Over Crystal out of Bruce's hands and gave it to Maskus. "Well done, Stewie!" said Maskus, "Now, are you ready for a little bit of my help?"
"Yes sir!"
Maskus casts a spell on the airship, it began glowing green and shaped shifted in to a giant robot Stewie while Maskus and #52 escaped. "Ha ha ha, victory shall be mine!" Stewie yelled with high hopes for his return to evil.
"Stewie, don't play with that, you might hurt us!" warned Lois as Brian just rolled his eyes.
Seeing the new danger, Peter told them what to do. "Well guys, looks like another fight.:
"But we already fought, can't we take a break?" asked Quagmire.
Stewie heard Quagmire and yelled out, "No, you cant just take a break. You're more lazy than a kid's T.V. Network."
(Cutaway)
There are T.V. producers at a meeting. One producer said, "So it is settle, we'll make a show about teenagers forming a band." Then another producer said, "We already made five shows like that." Then the other producer said, "Shut up, It makes more money and cost less! Why do you think 'The Smurfs' took place in the real world?"
(End Cutaway)
"Hey, why is my name not considered an actual name for 'Microsoft Word'?" asked Stewie.

End of Chapter