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Chapter 46: Tad Bit Strange

“It sure is nice to use sanitary toilets.” Tad Strange said as he left his bathroom.

The most normal person in Gravity Falls was recently sent all the way to Piedmont because of some magic port-a-potty and ran into Mabel and not-really Dipper in the middle of a séance.

But after using one of the abandoned orphanage restrooms, which were surprisingly clean and had its own opossum waiter, he went to the bus station and rode all the way back to Gravity Falls, where he had tofu for dinner and went straight to bed.

It was now a normal Sunday for Tad, nothing to do but wait for the dreaded Monday to show its malice mug back to the world.

“I do enjoy Mondays.” Tad said with simply happy tone.

He opened the door of his normal looking white painted house and gazed at the sunny bathed yard of his, which he enjoys doing work in his yard free of any weeds, trees or shrubs; just grass above the soil and nothing more.

“Grass is good.”

After a relaxing walk around town, he stumbled upon Gravity Fall’s own puppeteer, Gabe, as he teaches the younger children about shapes outside the library.

“This, my fine children, is a circle.” Gabe used some chalk and drawn a circle on the sidewalk.

“I can get the buzz ‘around’ that.” Gabe’s bee puppet said as his book drew a square.

“It was funny when people thought I was a square. Outdated name calling is a fine memory.” Tad said as he sits at a bench while Gabe started to sing.

“Being different is not so bad. Especially when you have a ….. ow wait.” Gabe laughed. “That wasn’t the song I was going to sing with my beautiful puppets. I haven’t completed it yet to pure perfection in this puppet acceptant world.”

“Why not Tad?” Tad suggested which sparked the creativity in Gabe’s eyes.

“Yes, my puppets love it.” Gabe said in joy as he sang again with the sunbeams shining down upon him. “Being different is not so bad. Especially when you have a Tad.”

Gabe jumped on top of a fire hydrant and spun around.

“So don’t be shy, and don’t say a lie. Because we are gonna learn how to fly!” Gabe then looked directly into his puppets unfocused google eyes. “Fly into your heart. And there you’ll find a tart. Just for you and …. Meeeeeee.” And with that, Gabe started making out with his puppets.

“I thought the library kicked that boy out!” several angry and disturbed mothers said as they escorted their kids away from the creepy kids rolling in the grass.

“What a fine imagination.” Tad said as he sat up and walked to the town square where he saw the founder of Gravity Falls, Quentin Trembley, inspecting his new statue.

“Hmmmmmmm. I knew it, this isn’t made out of cheese!” the 8 1/2th president shouted. “Clearly this must be the work of the Anti-Cheese Association!” Quentin dropped to his knees and shouted into the heavens. “Where is the cheese that must be eaten to save the world!?”

“Over there, gentlemen.” Tad pointed Quentin to a bakery with a cheesecake sitting behind a window.

“Why thank you, fellow American. Now I must eat the cheese and shoot lasers out of my ears to vaporize all the evil and their cement!” Quentin ran through the window and started beating the cake with a prime rib he kept in his pocket.”

“Hey, someone’s messin’ with our favorite bakery!” Deputy Durland said as they drove the police car around with Gabe in the back, hugging his puppets in fear.

“First we have this abomination in our car, now this?!” The two cops leaped out of their vehicle to chase down Quentin who climbed on top of the store.

“It’s no use, now I shall eat this cheesy cake! ……. Or do I?” Quentin looked curious as the cake. “I do! …. I mustn’t ….. I do!”

Feeling conflicted, Quentin leaped from building to building as the cops gave chase, but the failed to keep an eye on where they’re running and fell right into a huge hole in a small park area.

“My puppets are free!” Gabe shouted as he ran out of the unlocked police car.

Blubs and Durland crawled out of the hole as Quentin escaped on a garbage truck.

“There he goes.” Durland said with a daze tone.

“But we have another perp at hand.” Blubs looked angrily down the hole. “Who dug this?” The two cops looked to see two people they would have never guess to be seen doing physical work, Mr. and Mrs. Northwest.

“Greetings, officers of the law.” Preston said; keeping his manor look despite trying to hide his sweat stains. “You’re probably wondering why we’re digging in this random location. You see, we’ve discovered that our honorable ancestors have placed a treasure here. We figured we’ll find it ourselves and ‘donate’ to the town.”

“Oh.” Blubs said with a smile. “If that’s the case, you get a free pass.”

“Nice to see some good deeds being done for the town.” Durland wiped a tear from his eye. “Just to think, Blubs, Gravity Falls is going to get better when the Northwest donate that treasure.”

“Yes.” Preston said. “Like I said before, we will ‘donate’ to the town after we find that treasure, which will be in the form of riches. You will gain a profit after we-”

Then a golden fist punched through the dirt and out came a golem of pure gold. “Finally, after so many years of being buried, I’m free!” The golem climbed out of the hole and ran right to a sandwich shop. “I’m starving!”

Poking his head out of the hole, Preston slapped his forehead and shouted. “Well fine, I wasn’t going to donate you anyway!” But then seeing the two cops standing next to them with their ears well open, the Northwest leaped from the hole and dove into their limo.

“Go Go! ……. I forgot we fired the driver to save money.” Preston walked out of the limo and sat in the driver seat to leave as the two cops shrugged.

“I need nutrients.” Tad walked into the sandwich shop where the Golden Golem was acting like a glutton, making every watcher lose their appetite. “Hello miss.” Tad greeted the woman at the counter. “I would like a single slice of bread.”

“Seriously, what is wrong with you.” the woman whispered to herself as she gave him a single slice of bread. “That will be fifty cents.”

Tad took the slice of bread and sat at a table. “Now to enjoy this single slice of bread.”

Before Tad took a bite, the slice of bread formed a face. You know; the usual routine.

“Hello.” The bread said to Tad.

“Why hello.” Tad greeted the slice of nutrient lacking white bread which has been granted sentience. “What did your parents named you?”

“Me?” the bread asked. “My name is Strange.”

“How strange, that is also my name.” Tad Strange said.

And so Tad bit Strange.

End of Chapter

Qxa xka qeb pifzb lc yobxa xob xzqrxiiv zlrpfkp.

Description
body div#devskin0 hr { }

Chapter 46: Tad Bit Strange

“It sure is nice to use sanitary toilets.” Tad Strange said as he left his bathroom.

The most normal person in Gravity Falls was recently sent all the way to Piedmont because of some magic port-a-potty and ran into Mabel and not-really Dipper in the middle of a séance.

But after using one of the abandoned orphanage restrooms, which were surprisingly clean and had its own opossum waiter, he went to the bus station and rode all the way back to Gravity Falls, where he had tofu for dinner and went straight to bed.

It was now a normal Sunday for Tad, nothing to do but wait for the dreaded Monday to show its malice mug back to the world.

“I do enjoy Mondays.” Tad said with simply happy tone.

He opened the door of his normal looking white painted house and gazed at the sunny bathed yard of his, which he enjoys doing work in his yard free of any weeds, trees or shrubs; just grass above the soil and nothing more.

“Grass is good.”

After a relaxing walk around town, he stumbled upon Gravity Fall’s own puppeteer, Gabe, as he teaches the younger children about shapes outside the library.

“This, my fine children, is a circle.” Gabe used some chalk and drawn a circle on the sidewalk.

“I can get the buzz ‘around’ that.” Gabe’s bee puppet said as his book drew a square.

“It was funny when people thought I was a square. Outdated name calling is a fine memory.” Tad said as he sits at a bench while Gabe started to sing.

“Being different is not so bad. Especially when you have a ….. ow wait.” Gabe laughed. “That wasn’t the song I was going to sing with my beautiful puppets. I haven’t completed it yet to pure perfection in this puppet acceptant world.”

“Why not Tad?” Tad suggested which sparked the creativity in Gabe’s eyes.

“Yes, my puppets love it.” Gabe said in joy as he sang again with the sunbeams shining down upon him. “Being different is not so bad. Especially when you have a Tad.”

Gabe jumped on top of a fire hydrant and spun around.

“So don’t be shy, and don’t say a lie. Because we are gonna learn how to fly!” Gabe then looked directly into his puppets unfocused google eyes. “Fly into your heart. And there you’ll find a tart. Just for you and …. Meeeeeee.” And with that, Gabe started making out with his puppets.

“I thought the library kicked that boy out!” several angry and disturbed mothers said as they escorted their kids away from the creepy kids rolling in the grass.

“What a fine imagination.” Tad said as he sat up and walked to the town square where he saw the founder of Gravity Falls, Quentin Trembley, inspecting his new statue.

“Hmmmmmmm. I knew it, this isn’t made out of cheese!” the 8 1/2th president shouted. “Clearly this must be the work of the Anti-Cheese Association!” Quentin dropped to his knees and shouted into the heavens. “Where is the cheese that must be eaten to save the world!?”

“Over there, gentlemen.” Tad pointed Quentin to a bakery with a cheesecake sitting behind a window.

“Why thank you, fellow American. Now I must eat the cheese and shoot lasers out of my ears to vaporize all the evil and their cement!” Quentin ran through the window and started beating the cake with a prime rib he kept in his pocket.”

“Hey, someone’s messin’ with our favorite bakery!” Deputy Durland said as they drove the police car around with Gabe in the back, hugging his puppets in fear.

“First we have this abomination in our car, now this?!” The two cops leaped out of their vehicle to chase down Quentin who climbed on top of the store.

“It’s no use, now I shall eat this cheesy cake! ……. Or do I?” Quentin looked curious as the cake. “I do! …. I mustn’t ….. I do!”

Feeling conflicted, Quentin leaped from building to building as the cops gave chase, but the failed to keep an eye on where they’re running and fell right into a huge hole in a small park area.

“My puppets are free!” Gabe shouted as he ran out of the unlocked police car.

Blubs and Durland crawled out of the hole as Quentin escaped on a garbage truck.

“There he goes.” Durland said with a daze tone.

“But we have another perp at hand.” Blubs looked angrily down the hole. “Who dug this?” The two cops looked to see two people they would have never guess to be seen doing physical work, Mr. and Mrs. Northwest.

“Greetings, officers of the law.” Preston said; keeping his manor look despite trying to hide his sweat stains. “You’re probably wondering why we’re digging in this random location. You see, we’ve discovered that our honorable ancestors have placed a treasure here. We figured we’ll find it ourselves and ‘donate’ to the town.”

“Oh.” Blubs said with a smile. “If that’s the case, you get a free pass.”

“Nice to see some good deeds being done for the town.” Durland wiped a tear from his eye. “Just to think, Blubs, Gravity Falls is going to get better when the Northwest donate that treasure.”

“Yes.” Preston said. “Like I said before, we will ‘donate’ to the town after we find that treasure, which will be in the form of riches. You will gain a profit after we-”

Then a golden fist punched through the dirt and out came a golem of pure gold. “Finally, after so many years of being buried, I’m free!” The golem climbed out of the hole and ran right to a sandwich shop. “I’m starving!”

Poking his head out of the hole, Preston slapped his forehead and shouted. “Well fine, I wasn’t going to donate you anyway!” But then seeing the two cops standing next to them with their ears well open, the Northwest leaped from the hole and dove into their limo.

“Go Go! ……. I forgot we fired the driver to save money.” Preston walked out of the limo and sat in the driver seat to leave as the two cops shrugged.

“I need nutrients.” Tad walked into the sandwich shop where the Golden Golem was acting like a glutton, making every watcher lose their appetite. “Hello miss.” Tad greeted the woman at the counter. “I would like a single slice of bread.”

“Seriously, what is wrong with you.” the woman whispered to herself as she gave him a single slice of bread. “That will be fifty cents.”

Tad took the slice of bread and sat at a table. “Now to enjoy this single slice of bread.”

Before Tad took a bite, the slice of bread formed a face. You know; the usual routine.

“Hello.” The bread said to Tad.

“Why hello.” Tad greeted the slice of nutrient lacking white bread which has been granted sentience. “What did your parents named you?”

“Me?” the bread asked. “My name is Strange.”

“How strange, that is also my name.” Tad Strange said.

And so Tad bit Strange.

End of Chapter

Qxa xka qeb pifzb lc yobxa xob xzqrxiiv zlrpfkp.