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goldenrainfalling — False Strider-Dave x Fake Sibling!Reader
Published: 2013-07-12 22:36:00 +0000 UTC; Views: 19733; Favourites: 332; Downloads: 3
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Description  You're are a Strider and though you take great pride in that, you didn't even act like one. Your eyes aren't a red or an orange or any other crazy colour, they're just a sea green colour. Your hair isn't a near white blonde, it's raven black. You, unlike Dave or Dirk, got tan easily. You are the runt of the Strider family, they told you that you'd get your growth sprout soon, but you're thirteen and it still hasn't happened yet. While they have perfect teeth, you have an overbite. They strife on the roof daily, picking up their swords easily, while you could barely lift yours- and honestly, you'd rather have a gun over a katana. They could keep a straight face, while you struggled to stop from laughing. They wore 'ironic' shades and had perfect eyesight, while you needed glasses and were nearly blind without them. They could rap with ease, while you had to mull over it for ages. They figured things out quickly, while you were as dense as a boulder. They were like the Fey, perfect and cold- though, they weren't that cold, they just acted like that- and you were the human they stole from a random crib for entertainment. You even had some feelings for Dave that you knew were not sibling love. Every time he was around you blushed and stumbled over your words more than you already do. When you told Dirk about your feelings for Dave he just looked at you- at least, you think he did- and handed you a plush rump.
 "Your feelings are just being ironic." he had told you, and you believed him. You didn't want to believe that you wanted to have incest with your brother. It wasn't natural, and you thought it was disgusting, so for you to be in love with Dave just completely contradicted your own beliefs. Oh, and I forgot to add, you didn't call Dirk Bro like Dave, you just simply called him Dirk. Today, to make matters worse, Dave just couldn't leave you alone. This morning he woke you up by staring intently at you (He had taken off his shades), which caused you to jump and cover yourself with your blanket- you only slept in your underwear.
 "D-Dave! What the hell?!" you yelled at him, blushing furiously.
 "I'm just doing something different from my normal ironic activities so I can be more ironic." he said, blinking at you. What he didn't tell you was he actually did this every morning, this time you just woke up.
 "Why were you staring at me? Why not Dirk?" you asked.
 "I was going to but I heard his porn music on and I don't want to scar myself again, and are you sleeping with a... plush rump?" he asked. You had never slept with it before, why now?
 "Their asses are soft and plushy, okay?" you said, quickly defending yourself,"Why? You want it?" You picked it up and feigned throwing it at him. He jumped slightly and made a little squeak. You tried to hold in a laugh but failed.
 "Not cool, (Name), not cool." he said, quickly putting on his 'ironic' shades and maintained composure.
 "No, what's not cool is waking up to my brother staring at me." you said and you saw some emotion flash on his face. Pity? Sadness? Guilt? You couldn't tell. Not that he'd tell you or anything.
 "As I said, I'm being ironic." he said.
 "Everything with you is ironic," you said, rolling your eyes,"Sometimes I wish that you'd stop being ironic for one day. It gets annoying sometimes."
 "You really want me to?" he asked.
 "Yeah, and sometimes it seems that you and Dirk are hiding something from me. Like when I ask why I look nothing like you two, you guys hesitate before saying that my genetics are being ironic and I know that can't be possible." You say, fumbling with your blanket. You looked at Dave and he was looking down at his hands.
 "I'm sorry," you heard him whisper so quietly that you almost didn't hear it.
 "What?" you questioned.
 "I said that your genetics are ironic, being ironic runs in our DNA, derp." he said, getting up from the chair that he got from who knows where and walked out of your room. You looked at your alarm clock, it's nine in the morning. You sighed and flopped back into your bed. Great, now that he had woken you up you couldn't go back to sleep. You stretched and got up to get dressed. You put on a sea green tee shirt and some simple black jeans. You yawned and walked down stairs. When you got into the kitchen and opened the fridge you side stepped. A bunch of plush rumps fell where you were standing. Come on, that is getting so old. If Dirk wanted to prank you, he's gonna have to do better than that. You reached into the fridge and picked up the milk carton. You unscrewed the cap and took a swig of the milk. The sour milk that is. You ran to the sink and spit it out. You sniffed the milk and smelled a rancid smell. You gagged and checked the date. It's been expired for more than four weeks.
 "Ugh, why didn't anyone buy more milk?!" you exclaimed. You chucked it in the trash can and went into the bathroom. The aftertaste is worse than the actual taste itself. You took your toothbrush and squirted some toothpaste on it. You were about to put it in your mouth when you noticed the colour wasn't blue, but a white gray colour. That's like the colour of a guys...
 "Oh gross! Dirk! Why the hell did you put your aftereffects of your porn video in the toothpaste tube?!" you screamed, looking upstairs. You turned the water on to the hottest it could go and waited for it to actually heat up. While it was heating up you looked at what you thought was the toothpaste tube, but saw a white tube that had the words 'Don't Touch- Especially You (Name)!' You sighed, if he didn't want anyone to touch then why did he out it there? It's not like he has a camera in here... or does he? You looked in the mirror and saw a camera reflected back at you. You set the toothbrush in the sink to let the steaming hot water run over it and tried to take the camera down, but you were too short. You made a sound of frustration and jumped up to try to grab on to it, but it was out of reach.
 "Fine! I'll just use my mouthwash!" you screamed at the camera and stomped up stairs. Today was not your day. You opened your closet and dug around for your mouthwash, when you found it you cleaned your mouth out, closed the bottle, and threw it back into your closet. You walked back down stairs and turned off the water and put your toothbrush back in its rightful place. When you walked out of the bathroom you ran right into Dave, who was crouching down at your height level, and your lips mashed against his. You blushed furiously as he picked you up and pressed you against the wall and made your legs wrap around him. He kissed you hungrily, and as much as you hated incest you let your feelings run the show. You kissed back and your fingers tangled in his near white blonde hair. You felt him lick your bottom lip, asking for entrance. You opened your mouth and his eager tongue started to explore your hot, wet cavern. You started to fight back, but he won easily. He made it clear that he was the dominant one right now. Your legs tightened around him to pull yourself closer to him. He broke the kiss and started for your neck.
 "Wait, Dave, this isn't right. We're siblings, we... I can't." you said. You heard him laugh.
 "You're not a Strider, (Name). You're not even remotely related to us, you're an Egbert." he said, continuing for your neck.
 "You mean that I'm really related to John?" you asked, you knew who John was, he was Dave's friend who lived in Washington. You felt Dave nod into your neck. You were about to ask another question when he bit your soft spot, which made you moan instead. After that moment you just shut up and let the Strider do what he did best.      
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Comments: 381

goldenrainfalling In reply to ??? [2014-05-13 22:02:28 +0000 UTC]

Ha, wow

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

YusiFel In reply to ??? [2014-04-16 16:50:53 +0000 UTC]

The reader looks....like me! Nice job!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

goldenrainfalling In reply to YusiFel [2014-05-03 23:39:16 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Games4Life18 [2014-04-10 16:48:15 +0000 UTC]

This is so surprising, I have black hair and I need glasses to see. Nice job on this =w= I love it!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

goldenrainfalling In reply to Games4Life18 [2014-05-03 23:39:41 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! 

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Games4Life18 In reply to goldenrainfalling [2014-05-04 01:58:31 +0000 UTC]

Your welcome! :3

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

keepburninglikefire [2014-03-02 17:24:21 +0000 UTC]

Literally my description
I have green eyes and (dyed) black hair, but let's pretend it's natural x3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

goldenrainfalling In reply to keepburninglikefire [2014-05-03 23:39:55 +0000 UTC]

Haha, of course it's natural

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Noonetakesmycookies [2014-03-01 08:29:40 +0000 UTC]

Hahaha. What the actual fack is going on here?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

goldenrainfalling In reply to Noonetakesmycookies [2014-05-03 23:40:13 +0000 UTC]

A whole lot of things that I may continue

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Xmzv In reply to ??? [2014-03-01 02:13:40 +0000 UTC]

Ironically, I do have black hair and tan skin. If reader has long hair, then I too, have long hair 83

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

goldenrainfalling In reply to Xmzv [2014-05-03 23:40:52 +0000 UTC]

Hahaha, the hair can be whatever length you want it to be

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

placebo-complex [2014-01-29 13:30:25 +0000 UTC]

Ironically, reader looks almost just like me except I am taller and I'm assuming reader's hair is long. Other than that pretty much the same.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

goldenrainfalling In reply to placebo-complex [2014-05-03 23:41:21 +0000 UTC]

Haha, yeah...

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Julia-shall-marry-me In reply to ??? [2014-01-26 07:21:20 +0000 UTC]

Ironically, I do have black hair and glasses, but no green eyes, that's just ironic. -.-

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

goldenrainfalling In reply to Julia-shall-marry-me [2014-01-27 18:30:34 +0000 UTC]

Hehe, I know right?

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

thenumberonesloth In reply to ??? [2014-01-23 21:43:45 +0000 UTC]

EWEWEW IM RELATED TO EGDERP

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

goldenrainfalling In reply to thenumberonesloth [2014-01-27 18:30:53 +0000 UTC]

Aw, he ain't that bad, is he?

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

lunabun In reply to ??? [2014-01-05 03:54:11 +0000 UTC]

Wait but I'm albino

You know

Red eyes, white-blond hair, pale skin, can't tan for shit

...

Holy crap I'm having an epiphany

I am a Strider

Yes, good

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

goldenrainfalling In reply to lunabun [2014-01-11 00:57:19 +0000 UTC]

You've never noticed when you looked in a mirror?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

lunabun In reply to goldenrainfalling [2014-01-11 07:58:28 +0000 UTC]

I'm very dense when it comes to those kinds of things. .-.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

goldenrainfalling In reply to lunabun [2014-05-03 23:51:54 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, I get that

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

AlextheHuman27 [2013-12-14 07:24:34 +0000 UTC]

GREAT ENDING!!!!!


I mean, honestly...

....who doesn't want to be an Egbert...?

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

ClassicGamerGirl In reply to AlextheHuman27 [2013-12-27 18:22:29 +0000 UTC]

true that XD

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

goldenrainfalling In reply to AlextheHuman27 [2013-12-15 00:34:22 +0000 UTC]

But you're not an Egbert. You're a distant cousin of the Striders.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

AlextheHuman27 In reply to goldenrainfalling [2013-12-15 05:26:41 +0000 UTC]

Oh ... oops XD

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

goldenrainfalling In reply to AlextheHuman27 [2013-12-22 05:55:20 +0000 UTC]

Nah, it be cool

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

FurryLovahRuby In reply to ??? [2013-12-04 21:35:46 +0000 UTC]

I actually look like a strider except my eyes and hair are brown tinted... and I act like one sometimes too... but people think I'm crazy... I'm not I'm just being ironic... and I have the sunglasses too!!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

goldenrainfalling In reply to FurryLovahRuby [2013-12-11 20:47:12 +0000 UTC]

Wow, I guess I failed at describing you.  

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

girlfrom-emeraldcity In reply to ??? [2013-12-02 01:15:38 +0000 UTC]

Okay... One, great writing. Two, amazing story. Three, hot damn the ending. Four, are you going to write a sequal CAUSE I REALLY ENJOYED THIS ONG ITS ADORABLE YET SMEXY ONG ONG

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

goldenrainfalling In reply to girlfrom-emeraldcity [2013-12-11 20:48:17 +0000 UTC]

Hmmmm... Thank you for the first three, but the fourth... I dunno man. Seems like a lot of effort.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

girlfrom-emeraldcity In reply to goldenrainfalling [2013-12-30 05:38:18 +0000 UTC]

welcome! and you should but im not gonna push you if ya dont wanna.


👍: 0 ⏩: 1

goldenrainfalling In reply to girlfrom-emeraldcity [2014-05-03 23:52:47 +0000 UTC]

Haha, it's cool, Imma lazy person

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Bibi17624 In reply to ??? [2013-12-01 06:43:26 +0000 UTC]

LIES! THAT IS NOT EGBERT IF IT'S GUNS AND GREEN EYES.
GUNS AND GREEN EYES.
SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD ONE-SHOT TITLE ewe
BACK TO THE TOPIC THAT'S NOT EGBERT o-e
*Hey look guys, it's a female karkat!*

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

goldenrainfalling In reply to Bibi17624 [2013-12-11 20:49:31 +0000 UTC]

Ah, but technically Jake is an Egbert, just a British form of Egbert. And yes, that does sound like a good one-shot title.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

datscootaloo [2013-11-30 01:48:02 +0000 UTC]

B-but but.. blue eyes ;-;

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

goldenrainfalling In reply to datscootaloo [2013-11-30 04:30:21 +0000 UTC]

Shshshshshshhh.... It's okay, just calm your tits.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

IbreaktehscreenOWO [2013-11-18 23:34:50 +0000 UTC]

Let Striders do what they do best, glub it!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

goldenrainfalling In reply to IbreaktehscreenOWO [2013-11-23 20:13:43 +0000 UTC]

Haha, yes, let the Striders do what they do best.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Artyn-Kira In reply to ??? [2013-10-22 16:19:59 +0000 UTC]

friick...why would you liie liike that...eww...an egbert... sals;djflsadjf

ii want more!!!!  there should be a part two for thiis shiiz  

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

goldenrainfalling In reply to Artyn-Kira [2013-11-07 00:17:48 +0000 UTC]

Hehehehe, no.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

TinyBirdGames In reply to ??? [2013-10-21 02:53:45 +0000 UTC]

Yay! I'm johns sis! I always think of john as a cool bro who I would koala all the time. Now, where's Davey~

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

goldenrainfalling In reply to TinyBirdGames [2013-11-07 00:17:06 +0000 UTC]

jbkxnbfsjklbfsklfs I lies to you....

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

TinyBirdGames In reply to goldenrainfalling [2013-11-07 12:46:54 +0000 UTC]

:I....

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

goldenrainfalling In reply to TinyBirdGames [2013-12-22 06:18:06 +0000 UTC]

:3

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

datassismine In reply to ??? [2013-10-19 10:11:57 +0000 UTC]

......this describes the human version of my fantroll *terrorfied look*

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

goldenrainfalling In reply to datassismine [2013-10-20 17:12:03 +0000 UTC]

Hahahaha! I know all things! (As if)

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Skylar-Persson [2013-10-18 04:28:12 +0000 UTC]

Is it odd that i actually kinda look like a Strider?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

goldenrainfalling In reply to Skylar-Persson [2013-10-20 17:11:11 +0000 UTC]

Maybe.... Do you have the awesome eyes?

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Mr-Fandom-Kun [2013-10-05 04:00:19 +0000 UTC]

I actually asked my friend after reading this if I looked like an Egbert and she said 'Yes, just with freckles'

👍: 0 ⏩: 1


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